Chapter 20 : Girlfriend

Judy senses the stiffness in Gideon before she even sits next to him in the detention room. He has been rather unfocused for the last couple sessions. It's worrying, and if he can't focus, he will fail the exam. She blames herself for it too, as she isn't able to give him all the help he needs. She has trouble enough keeping her composure in his presence, but she knows she shouldn't make him suffer because of her feelings.

As the sessions end, the tod says a simple "See ya." before leaving, his shoulders hanging.

There's a part of her that wants to let him go, because being near him hurts, but the other cares too much for him to leave him in that state.

"Gideon, what's going on ?"

"Nuthin'."

"Good…" She says, seeing he's lying. "Do you want to hang out for a bit before going home ?"

"I'm a bit tired. I think I'm just gonna head home."

"Come on ! I feel you aren't even with us at recess. You just stand there and say nothing… Even Sharla and Bobby are concerned. And during tutoring, it feels like you're not really there."

"I- Yer the one avoidin' me !"

"I'm not-"

"The only moments we talk now is durin' tutorin' ! We don't hang out, ya try to not be in the same place I am ! Ya think I didn't notice that ya weren't there when I hung out wid' Sharla and Bobby ?"

"Gid-"

"I get it okay ? I know I'm hard to get along wid', and I knew you'd run outta patience eventually… it's just that it hurts that ya ain't talkin' to me."

"I want to talk now !" She shouts at his face, making him recoil. "I'm sorry." She immediately blurts. "I shouldn't have shouted at you. I'm sorry. It's just… Can we- Let's just go to the reservoir, okay ? Please ?"

He feels like saying no. After having been ignored and shouted at, he wants to throw it back at her. But simply looking at her face squashes those feelings. In the end, he follows her, if only because he hopes he'll be able to empty his head there.

- 1 -

Sitting at his favourite spot, the tod stares at unmoving water. He's glad the bunny hasn't insisted and asked what's wrong again.

He has lit up a cigarette that he half-heartedly smokes, more out of habit than anything else.

She remains silent, simply staring at the single small cloud in the middle of the blue sky.

"I feel so tired." He mutters. "I work, and I work, and I study… It's got no end. And now, I gotta think about what I'll do next… I don't know what I'll do next. Graduation is in less than four years… And I know it's far away, but not really… I just dunno what I'm gonna do after that." It's not the heart of the problem, of why he's feeling so down, but he can't approach it yet.

He guesses that's probably the moment she tells him something stupid like 'you'll figure it out'. Instead, she just put a paw to his forearm and leaves it here with a little encouraging smile.

"I… Just dunno. There's something after school, after this year, and I ain't ready. Is next year gonna be the same ? I ca-ca-can't study that much. I can't study more ! I still have the job, and mom to help wid' Hailey, and… School's in da way…"

"But you're doing great !"

"I ain't doin' great. I'm doin' acceptable. I work my ass off, and I just get acceptable grade. I feel like I just ain't strong enough. I'm so tired… I'm just so fucking tired. I dunno why I'm workin' anymore."

"So you'll have a diploma, and be able to-"

"Go to college ? I don't wanna go to college. You know I ain't like you. I dunno what I'm gonna do after all this. I'll just be a useless fox with a useless diploma. I don't wanna work at this fuckin' mill for the rest of my life, but I don't see what else I can do. I like bakin' but there ain't no bakery here that'll ever hire a fox… I wish I could go back to not carin', but I can't." He finishes in a strangled voice, his consumed cigarette falling to the concrete as he hugs his knees.

Judy doesn't know what to say. Should she hug him ?

"What if it's just another dead end ? I thought if I finished highschool, all my problems would fly away, but I know they ain't gonna. I'll still be a fox, I'll still be dumb, I'll still… I'll still be me."

A hug it is, then. He lets her wrap her arms around his shoulder, the side of his face pushed against her chest. She feels his paw grab the back of her t-shirt. "I'll help you figure it out. We still have more than two years. I told you, I'm your friend. I have your back."

"But what if there ain't nothing to figure out ? If it's just it."

"Then I'll make something. I don't know when to quit, remember ?"

The tod emits a wet chuckle. "Y-yeah… Yeah."

"It's going to be okay. We'll find something. I promise."

As she strokes his head, she can't help but feel unsure. What to do, though ? It's not as if she could give him a job on the family farm, or help him create a business. She'll have to talk to an adult that will know better, or-

"And then there's you." He mutters, which makes her freeze mid stroke. "You've… It hurts when yer not… It's stupid."

"If it gets you like that, it's not stupid."

"It's just… Why have you been ignorin' me ? I'm sorry I did that to you after our fake break up. I didn't know you'd feel like that. I didn't mean to-"

"That's not the reason why I avoided you."

"Oh… Why then ?"

"It's…" The doe takes a deep breath. She can say it. She can. She has to. "It's because you're going with Hester to prom."

It's Gideon's turn to freeze, his breath caught in his throat as his brain is catching up with the implications.

"I know you can't invite me. But I think… I know I have a crush on you. And I know, she's a vixen, an I'm a bunny, and I'm almost three years younger than you, but I still-"

He's still holding he sideways, his head turned at an awkward angle, but his lips find hers.

"Wu-" She mumbles into his mouth, before melting into the kiss.

Of all the scenarios she had imagine, it was the one she believed was the less likely to happen, and she hoped for the most. She's not a big fan of the smoke taste but that's such a small inconvenience compared to the whole being kissed by Gideon situation.

"You like me ?" She breathes when he recoils.

"I do."

"B-but… What about Hester ? Why go to the prom with her ?"

"I dunno… I mean, she's pretty, and I didn't have any reason- I didn't know you liked me too."

"Too ?"

"Yeah. I like you too. D-do you wanna be my girlfriend ?"

"Yeah. I'd really like that."

"Yes !" The tod reacts, pumping his arm, triggering a fit of giggles from the doe. "Erh, I mean, I'm gla-"

He's cut when she pounces at him, making him lose his balance and fall on his back on the bench. "You're such a dork." She grins, before kissing him again. Deeper this time. His paws goes to rest on her waist, and as time goes by, she realises that she wouldn't mind them being a bit lower. In fact, she would probably not mind if he got a whole lot more exploratory.

Then her mother's word resonate into her mind. 'All we want is for you to be careful, Jude. You're at that age where you're going to have urges. And sometimes they're going to be really strong. It'll be up to you to chose to act upon them or not. But it needs to be a choice.'

She pulls away again, and shoves her face into his neck, where that sexy little tuft of rebellious fur is. "Was that okay ? I've never kissed a tod before."

"Me neither."

Judy snorts, and then realises the weird sound in the tod's throat is a chuckle. She falls into a fit of giggles as she realises the joke was on purpose.

"Seriously, though. I had never kissed anyone before either."

"Really ?"

"Ya might have noticed the girls aren't really all over me."

"Hester certainly is."

"Honestly couldn't tell you why."

"I could." Judy blurts out, furiously blushing. "I mean… I think you're… Kinda… Handsome." Her voice trails of as it becomes quieter, while her finger plays with his fur.

"Really ?" He asks, surprised. He has never thought of himself as handsome. He has never really paid attention to his own appearance before, so…

"Yeah."

"Well, I think you're c-beautiful too."

They both giggle awkwardly, and he plants a kiss between her ears.

"I got a girlfriend." He whispers. "And it's Judy freaking Hopps."

"I got a boyfriend." She grins back. "And It's Gideon freaking Grey."

They stay like that for a while, enjoying the early summer's fresh evening breeze. The doe has her head resting in the croon of the tod's neck, while his arms act as blanket for her. It feels so comfortable she could actually fall asleep like this.

Then she realises there's an important conversation to have about it, and she's not really sure she wants to have it. "So, what do we do now ?"

"I dunno. I never got a girlfriend before. I don't know what kinda things we're s'posed to do. I mean I know some… Things… Yeah."

"I meant… About us being, you know… Do we tell people ? I don't think I want to tell my parents."

"Ah. Yeah, I understand. I think we should just keep this between us."

She crawl up a bit to kiss him again, when something else brushes her mind. "What about Hester ?"

"Ah- Oh shit ! I… Well… I can't go to prom wid her now. I mean, I can but, you know…"

The doe nods. She doesn't want him to go with her, that's a given, but if he tells her, she might put two and two together and tell everyone as retaliation…

Or he could go with her and not tell her. That too makes her feel queasy, it would be like cheating, wouldn't it ?

"Well, we do have a few days to think about it." States the doe, before kissing him. "I'd rather think about this for now."

Something is happening.

Sharla doesn't know what exactly, but something has clearly shifted in the group's dynamic. Judy isn't avoiding being in Gideon's presence anymore, and neither is him.

But they are not talking.

At least not meaningfully. They exchange a couple of words, and then they blush. And they send each other conniving looks. And it's infuriating.

They're doing it right now ! Why are they smiling like a pair of idiot ?

"Okay, guys, what's happening between you two ?" She hisses.

"Nuthin'." Gideon states.

"Nothing at all." Confirms Judy.

Then they both grin and she pulls on her wool.

"You two kiss yet ?" Asks Bobby with a thin smile.

"Bobby !" The ewe reacts. "They're not-"

"I mean, come on, how long do you two thought you could hide that from us ?"

"How did you guess ?" Judy asked.

"You smell like each other. I mean, a bit more than usual. I doubt someone that didn't know you would tell. Plus you're blushing and acting weird the exacts same way, and you're not talking about it. Ergo, you two are doing something you think you shouldn't."

Sharla's low squeal is finally heard when the cougar stops talking, and they turn to her.

"I wasn't sure you'd approve." Judy says to the caprine.

"Why ?"

"Well… I know you were making an effort with Gideon at he beginning. I know you aren't really crossed with him anymore, but I wasn't sure you'd be very happy if I dated him."

"Oh…" Sharla gives the tod a once over. "He's been decent since he started hanging out with us. But if you hurt her, I'm cutting off your tail." She says to him with a serious expression.

The tod frowns, opening mouth, his temper flaring.

"Sharla !" Judy reacts.

"No, tha's fair." Gideon deflates.

"That's not a reason to threaten you."

"By the way, what about Hester ?" Bobby cuts to switch topic. "Did you cancel ?"

"Erh..."

"You didn't talk to her yet !?" He reacts.

"Well… Maybe we could just go as friends ?"

"Go as- Okay, no." The cougar shakes his head. "Judy, do you approve this ?"

"Erh… I don't know. I just don't see a solution." She admits. "I don't know what she'll do if we tell her. I mean… If the rumours start again, it'll be worst isn't it ?"

"She might not tell everyone." Says the feline. "Listen what if the places were switched ? What if Gideon was supposed to go to prom with you, but was secretly dating someone else ?"

It took only one text from Gideon to get Hester to meet him.

They chose the end of the day, just in case she got angry, to minimise the chances that others would hear if she went off.

There are secluded places in all schools. Near the cafeteria, behind a building, under evacuation stairs… They chose a space where seniors go to smoke behind one of the most remote building. Gideon is glad the smell of stale cigarette isn't too present.

As Hester turns the corner, he eyes widen. She didn't expect to see Judy there too.

"Hello ?"

"Hey Hester." Greets the fox.

"Hey." Says Judy in a small voice. She faced a foxes countless times, despite the fact that he was bigger and stronger than she was. But she feels like this situation is one of the most scary she's ever been in.

"What's going on ?"

"Well..."

"Thing is..."

Judy and Gideon talk at the same time, chuckling when they realise it.

"Ya go first."

"Alright. Listen Hester… I'm sorry. I didn't expect..." The bunny emits a sigh. Walking around the problem doesn't help. "I confessed to Gideon. I wasn't trying to steal him from you, but I was having a hard time with him going to prom with you while I was crushing on him. And I was being weird, and I was pushing him away, and it hurt him, and I couldn't just not tell him why."

The vixen wishes she didn't see exactly where it was going, but lets her talk anyway.

"So… Well, I told him and… And we kissed. And now we're dating. Please don't be mad him."

Hester closes her eyes, drawing in a long breath. "Gideon, why did you accept to go to prom with me if you had a crush on Judy ?"

"I… I mean… I don't know ya, and I think yer pretty…" He blushes. "I didn't think Judy felt the same way about me so-"

"So I was a default choice." She chuckles, her eyes not really smiling.

"No ! I mean… I… It was shitty of me. I know I ain't a real good guy." He says, hanging his head. "I'm tryin', but I mess up. I don't know ya, but...I think yer a great gal, and I think going to prom wid ya woulda been nice, but… Shit, that's so unfair to you !"

"Gideon, it's okay." The doe intervenes, seeing how worked up the tod is getting.

"No it's not."

"We can't control who we like."

"Yeah, but you two could have controlled how you went about it." Hester states, crossing her arms before shaking her head. "At least you were honest about it afterwards."

"I'm sorry." They both say at the same time. "Is there any way I can make up for it ?" The tod asks.

She eyes him for a couple of seconds, a discreetly sly smile appearing on her feature. "Depends, are you still coming to prom with me ?"

"Erh… Do you want to ?"

"I don't want to show up without a date."

He turns to Judy with an interrogative expression.

The doe feels a bit puzzled, not having expected that from the vixen. She isn't sure she's okay with Gideon going with her to prom, but it's still better than her getting angry. She gives a curt nod to the tod in agreement.

"Then yeah."

"Well that's it. We're going to prom."

"That ain't much."

The vixen sends an amused glance at Judy who suddenly feels really wary. "Oh trust me, that's plenty. But you're not picking me up at home. I don't want my parents pestering me about my 'boyfriend' afterwards."

"Okay. Erh… What about… Are you going to tell about us ?"

The vixen shakes her head. "Believe it or not, I don't want the whole school to know I've been upstaged by a fourteen years old doe. I'm upset but I don't want to make your life hard. As Judy said, you can't control who you like."

"Thanks. That's very nice of ya."

The vixen shrugs. "We foxes have it bad already, I'm not going to make our lifes harder."