There Were Perfect Things (Anger)

That's how it starts. The fever. The rage. The feeling of helplessness that turns good men cruel."

-Alfred Pennyworth

Marinette sat atop the Parisian rooftop with her knees to her chest, eyes just barely looking over her arms at the street below. As the cars drove by, her mind raced with different thoughts. Should she have gone after the men who did it? Could she have used her powers to save her mom? Not without transforming in front of her parents. But did her secret identity even matter if the people around her were just going to be hurt anyway? The one that lingered the longest was why did she freeze? Why, of all times, was that moment the one where she panicked? Where her mind went blank and all she could do was freeze. Why then was she so helpless?

She was Ladybug! The hero of Paris. And for all her heroics, for all her bravery, the one thing she couldn't do was anything to help her mom. And now she was gone. What kind of hero was that?

What good was she if she could save all of Paris, protect its people…but not her own mom. Was she even doing enough? She and Chat Noir always did their best to help protect the people of Paris from HawkMoth and the Akumatized. But was that enough? How many other things were she and Chat Noir not acting on?

How many other people besides her mother had suffered? How many more were going to suffer?

For the first time in a long time, the weight of responsibility as Ladybug felt heavy. She tried to bring herself to move, but couldn't.

"Marinette?" Tikki asked from beside her, "Are you okay?"

No she wasn't. Of course she wasn't okay. Her hands tightened on her knees.

"Marinette…please say something. I'm your friend. I'm here for you and want to help. Please. Please?"

She buried her face into her arms. She wasn't sure Tikki could do anything to help. Some part of her wondered if Hawkmoth was sending an Akuma her way at that very moment. And if he was, would she even be able to resist it?

She could feel Tikki trying her hardest to hug her, to comfort her and assure her everything would be alright. That this wasn't the end of the world. But it sure felt like it was.

A sudden loud scream from below grabbed her attention and she looked up to see a bus speeding its way down the street around cars and pedestrians. A police car was giving chase, but was keeping its distance. She wasn't sure if it was the guilt over her mother, or the call of others in need that finally snapped her out of her stupor. But people were in trouble and she wasn't going to stand idly by.

Not this time.

"Marinette!" Tikki said worriedly as she finally stood up. She said the familiar words and leapt into action, "Tikki! Spots on!"

She stopped a carjacking. Or rather a bus jacking. Some guy thought it was a bright idea to take a bus full of people hostage and order the driver to keep moving until his demands were met. But she saved the day.

Like she always should have, leaping in through the window and using her yo-yo to tie the man up before he could get a shot off. Afterwards, the bus stopped and everyone rushed off - leaving the man and Ladybug. As she went to drag the man off, she noticed his face.

The blood rushed to her head with anger and her heart pounded so hard she could hear her own heartbeat in her ears. She could never forget the face of this man. The one who'd run out of the bakery last, turning to look back only once while she knelt at her mom's side as she died. This man was with the others who robbed her bakery. Before she could do or say anything to him, the police were on board to arrest him themselves. The man cursed loudly as they dragged him off, but she didn't register any of it. She didn't even register the police thanking her for saving so many lives. The only she heard was one of the officer's answer when she asked, "Is it alright if I talk to him alone for a moment?"

"I can't really let you do that, Ladybug. We have our own procedures to follow in this instance," the officer answered. She put on her biggest smile, "It'll be real quick. I promise! I helped save Paris so many times! Can I please get this one teensy little favor?"

The officer scratched his head for a second, obviously contemplating what he should do before nodding and whistling for his colleague's attention. They stopped short of putting him in the back of a car as he called, "Hang on a second, boys. Ladybug wants to talk to him?"

"Are you serious?" one asked incredulously. The man looked at her with a great big old grin, "I think she likes me."

She'd never felt so revolted in her life. After a moment, the officer pulled him back out of the car and dragged him over to her, "Make it quick."

"I will," she answered, grabbing him by the collar of his jacket. Before any of the officers could stop her, she jumped up to the roof of the nearest building - a four story apartment complex looking over the street. The cops were shouting after her but anything they had to say was drowned out by the man screaming, "HEY! HEY! LET ME GO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

She didn't know what she was doing. Right now, all she felt was anger. Rage. At this man she had brought up to roof with her. If it wasn't for the handcuffs he had on, he'd probably be trying harder to resist her. At least until she realized she was holding him precariously over the roof's edge by his jacket. The smile was gone from his face, replaced by a look of surprise and fear.

The thought crossed her mind briefly of simply letting go. Letting him fall. But that wouldn't bring her mom back. It wouldn't undo what had been done. So why was she still holding him there? The police were still down below, shouting up at her but she couldn't hear them properly.

"What do you want?" the man finally worked up the courage to ask. What did she want? Why was she doing all this?

She took a moment to calm herself and breathe, trying to think before she did anything she'd regret. After a moment, she asked "Last night, you robbed a bakery. I want to know who helped you."

"Look, I don't know anything about a bakery," he spat out angrily. She felt her grip loosen. Had she been mistaken? Was this the wrong guy? No, it had to be him. She couldn't ever forget that face, "I know you were there!"

Her grip loosened a little more so that the guy fell backwards a little. He looked over his shoulder at the ground below, then looked back at her with a small grin, "You can't do it. You're Ladybug! The hero of Paris. You'd never kill anyone!"

Her grip weakened again. He was right. What was she doing?

"Besides, take it from me, Ladybug. Fall from this height. Ain't gonna kill anybody."

She looked up at him, locking eyes with him for the briefest moment. He could see that mocking smile. That grin on the face that would haunt her forever. The man who took her mom away from her. And the anger came back. So the fall wasn't going to kill him?

"Good."

His eyes widened as she let go. His mouth shot opened as he screamed, falling several stories until he landed on his legs with a sickening crunch. He screamed in agony, legs shattered just below his knees. Her heart was racing again. It was satisfying to watch him fall, to watch him hit the ground like that. She used her yo-yo to grab him by his arm and hoisted him back up - this time dangling him just above the street, "I'm not going to ask again."

"Okay! Okay!" the man said, holding up a hand to shield himself, "It was supposed to be practice for another job! Rehearsal! I don't know any of the other guys. None of us did. We all got the same call - we don't know his name either."

She let her yo-yo slide a little and the man panicked, "Wait! Okay, look. He gave me a burner phone! You can use that! He's the only contact!"

He reached into his jacket and produced an old flip phone. She hadn't seen on.e like that in ages and lifted him back up to take it out of his hand. Once she had it, she lowered him back down to the ground and dropped him off in front of the police. They quickly surrounded him to check on him, one of the officers stopping to look up at her with a look of mortified terror.

She didn't want to do that. She wished she didn't need to. But just looking that man in the eye made her so…

And she couldn't deny there was a certain feeling of satisfaction in seeing him get what he deserved. He took her mom from her. She took his legs. But all of that lasted for a minute before she realized she was smiling. Why was she smiling? The sinking feeling of mortification hit her like ton of bricks. It snapped her back to her senses just long enough to realize what she'd done. She looked down at the phone in her hands and the guilt washed over her. What was she doing? Had she really done that? Scared and panicked, she used her yo-yo to get as far away from here as she could. What was she doing? What was she becoming?