AN: I want to thank you guys for the great reviews on this story. Sorry it's taken a long time to update, I came down with Shingles and didn't do much during that time. But I'm on the mend and feeling well enough to get back to writing. Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know with a review!

Matter of the Heart

Chapter 12

Harry made his way through the halls of the dungeon back to his own rooms. After the events of the last month he's been a little down in the mouth. The one upside to all this has been his growing relationship with Severus. They've been spending quality time together learning about each other; accepting each other's role before and during the war. It's been good, real good and his inner vampire has been calm and content.

Harry thought back over their get-together's and smiled. He knew he was falling in love with the older man and he knew he was falling hard. Maybe it is time to reveal more to Severus. He just hopes that the man won't hate him for keeping it from him for so long.

Tonight was a good productive night. They discussed starting the Dueling Club up again. Severus told him it's been a disaster the last couple years when starting this particular club. Seems the teacher at the time was having just as hard as the students with separation of houses and such. The war was hard on everyone and some still couldn't get past it. They hope this year would be different. They discussed the types of curses and counter curses they would start with and what incentives they could use to keep students inline. They forged The Rules together and plan on having each participating student sign a copy to keep on file. When a rule was broken there would be consequences, period. The students needed to understand this club would be a privilege and not a right.

Harry sighed and ran a hand down his face. He could feel the beginnings of hunger in his limbs and knew it was time for a run. Maybe a long run through the forest to the edge of the wards and back. That would satisfy his need for a long run and hopefully his need for a feeding. The run would help him sort through his melancholy at the people from his past that were supposed to care for him but faked it. At least he knew Severus never faked how he felt for him, he was the only one who was always honest about that.

Plus, he hasn't written back to Hermione since reading her letter a while back. He knew she deserved a response but, honesty, he didn't feel like writing one. What do you say to someone who basically told you to fuck off? He knew they would be upset with him but he was hoping they would want to listen to what he had to say. Apparently not. That's what hurt the most. So, he put the letter in his office desk and forgot about it until today.

Today Severus asked him if he's "made up" with his friends and sadly he had to say no. Which led to an hour discussion on how it made him feel. Harry huffed to himself and smiled at the memory.

"I feel hurt that I was rebuffed in their letter but I don't feel at all upset that they're not here beside me. Honestly Severus, I thought I would feel more pained at that but I don't. Before I left we were already going our separate ways we just didn't speak of it. They are my past and I love them dearly for helping me through schooling and Voldemort, but they will never be a part of my future. And I'm okay with that " Harry told him casually.

"I know what it's like to lose a friend over a misunderstanding. I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy. Is there no way to fix it?" He asked back.

Harry thought for a minute before answering, "I don't want to fix it. I mean, I'm happy with my life as it stands right now and I think it would be too much for me to work at fixing something that would never truly be." And this is true. Harry honestly felt this way and he honestly didn't want to complicate his life here when he didn't plan on staying here permanently.

Harry shook his head to clear the memory with a smile. Severus meant well but Harry knows who his family truly is now. He made it up to his rooms just as it was curfew. He kicked off his boots and started stripping out of his clothes as he made his way to his bedroom. Grabbing his running clothes and heading to the loo he hoped the run would help quell his hunger in more ways than one.

The October weather was welcoming on Harry's face and he lifted it into the wind. He inhaled a long deep breath and took note of all the scents in the air. His eyes glowed once as he turned towards the Quidditch pitch. He started towards the pitch twisting his upper body left then right to loosen muscles. Movement in the corner of his eye had him pause to sense his surroundings.

He relaxed somewhat when he realized it was just a well dressed man heading for the front doors. His first thought was to stop the man and demand what he's doing here so late at night, sneaking into a castle full of kids, but he could smell the man from where he was and he smelled familiar and that put him at ease. His inner vampire wasn't sending out a distress call either.

Looks like the Headmistress has a bo.

Harry laughed and silently agreed. Seems like it.

He entered the pitch and started stretching his legs. He didn't realize how wound up he's been. It felt so good to stretch and it'll feel even better to run for a couple hours. Satisfied with his warm up he began his run to the Forest, following the scent of a large animal he smelled in the air. As he ran he let his teeth elongate and his eyes glow honing in on that much needed red.

XxxX

It's been at least an hour since he began his run. He ran all the way to the end of the Wards, along the perimeter and back up the front walk then over to the pitch again. This was the path he took several times, but on the fourth time around he felt something snap inside him and he fell to the ground. The pain in his chest was sharp and every time he moved it jabbed at his heart. He lay there panting, mud and leaves covering his face as he tried to lay still but the intensity of the pain had him withering and clutching at his chest, tears forming in his eyes...oh my god. He tried to scream but nothing came but that didn't stop his inner vampire from howling in pain.

The animals in the forest were already giving him a wide berth but now the sounds of the forest were gone too. It became deafening, the silence, only the occasional grunt from Harry was heard and they sounded like thunder in the wake of the silence.

He didn't know how long he laid there in extreme pain but suddenly it just stopped. However, the feeling of loss and confusion stayed with him. He was wrung out, exhausted from the pain, sweat covered his body and a dull ache settled in his bones. He was confused as to what just happened so he stayed on the ground, rolling into his back to stare at the canopy of branches, trying to catch his breath.

The only sounds were now his labored breathing which slowly began to slow down and even out. He didn't know how long he stayed there and he didn't care. The fear of moving and the pain returning was at the back of his mind.

I don't feel so good. Need Severus...

Harry made a small grunt sound, the only thing he could do, while lifting a hand to send out a patronus. He actually has more than one patronus but today he chose his small canary to deliver his message. Less conspicuous. After this was done he promptly closed his eyes and passed out.

XxxX

He felt himself being jostled. He sniffed and heard a chuckle from his left. "Harry, your in the infirmary. Can you open your eyes?" Poppy asked quietly.

He moved his head slightly and he heard her sigh. "It's okay dear, rest. I'll be back in an hour to check on you." He felt her hand on his shoulder for a brief second before it was gone.

"What?" He managed to croak out and found his voice to be nonexistent.

"Your okay, Harry. I scanned you but couldn't find anything wrong. I want you to rest for now. It's only just midnight, so I'll be back in an hour and you can tell me what happened and then we'll see if you can go back to your room." She told him softly. He tried to nod his head but it only moved a fraction before he found himself in darkness again.

He was sitting at an outside table somewhere warm. There was another man across from him, watching him, studying him intently but not speaking. Harry found himself relieved when spotting the other man. "What?"he asked him.

That was something I don't ever want to feel again. I don't understand…

"Maybe it was something I ate." Harry interrupted. "The blood might have been tainted?" he asked.

Possible. What was it you fed from?

Harry had to think back to what he did that night. He tracked the large animal through the Forest, finally capturing it by a small stream of water close to the Wards. He hadn't meant to take so much blood but his thirst was overwhelming him by the time he caught his prey. Harry looked at the table sadly, he had drained the animal killing it in his hunger. "I killed it." He whispered to the other man. "I killed it, said the prayer then buried it. I did everything right, but I guess the animal was bad." Could that explain the pain? He thought to himself.

Well, you'd better be more careful in the future. You need your Mate...we need our Mate. Don't drag this out too long.

Harry jerked awake and sat up. He looked around the room to see he was the only one there. Thank Merlin. Swiping at his face several times, he moved to get out of bed. It was still dark outside and he wanted to get to his own bed for a few hours if comfortable sleep.

"I see you're feeling well enough to get up. That's good. What happened out there, Harry?" Poppy asked as she came closer to his bed.

"I think I ingested tainted blood. I guess I'll stick to rabbit for now until I can feed from my Mate." He said as he stood and stretched his body.

"And when will that be?" She asked sternly. Her face telling Harry 'it better be soon'. She folded her arms over her chest looking all the scary Mediwitch that she is.

"Poppy." He sighed out. "Please don't. All is coming along as it should." He pleaded. He came around the bed to stand in front of her. He reached out to hug her and she allowed it.

"Fine. But I better not find you dead in the Forest or I'll revive you just to kill you again!" She reprimanded but Harry could see the love and worry in her face.

He held up both hands in surrender, "I promise. I'll die closer to the castle next time." He joked and she finally cracked a smile.

"Brat!" And they both laughed.

They walked toward the doors together and Harry turned to her at the the door, "Seriously Poppy, thanks."

XxxX

The next day at breakfast that mysterious man was at the table sitting next to Minerva. Harry entered the Great Hall, looked up to the head table, then changed his mind. Severus wasn't there and he didn't feel like answering anyone's questions, no matter who they were sleeping with. He left the Hall and headed for the kitchens. Maybe he could get and apple or something to hold him over until lunch.

He felt sluggish all day but ignored it for most the day. His inner vampire was quiet too, a little too quiet. So when lunch came around he headed to his rooms instead of the Great Hall to spend some time with himself.

Once seated at his small table in his rooms, he prepared his tea and sat back. He took a sip, cupping his cup as to steal it's warmth. He took another sip then another. Once he felt relaxed enough he put the cup down and closed his eyes.

I'm here.

"What's wrong." Harry said. He didn't feel so crazy talking to himself anymore plus he needed to figure out this weird feeling.

I don't know. I just feel tired. It's probably still an effect from our bad feed. It'll pass.

"I'm worried. I feel like I'm forgetting something." He added.

Yeah

"I'm meeting with Severus after dinner to go over the final list of students for the Dueling Club, I'll make sure to touch him, that should help your spirits some."

I would like that.

"Hogsmeade is this weekend and we're chaperoning with Severus. I'm looking forward to spending time away from the Castle with him.

Maybe you could start moving things along now. We need our Mate. At least tell him what you are.

"I've been thinking about it. I think it is time to tell him the truth about my creature inheritance." Harry stood from the table grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and tossing it softly before taking a bite. "Time to go teach the little kiddies."

He went to his office and grabbed his planner. While he pulled it from the drawer he saw a bag of candy sitting on his desk with a note attached. He checked it for curses before taking the note and reading it. It was from the former Headmaster via the current Headmistress. Although he doesn't feel any love or hate anymore for the former Headmaster, he still feels uneasy when thinking about the man's request. He put the letter and the candy in the bottom drawer and left the office.

XxxX

Harry walked quietly down to Severus' office where they would talk about the Dueling Club. He couldn't wait to be near the man, to smell him, to touch him. He felt his heart swell with anticipation and he knew, he knew, he was in love.

The thought of telling him what he is was scaring him. What if the man rejects who he is? What if he doesn't want to spend time with him anymore? Harry doesn't think he could handle that rejection. In fact, he knows he won't be able to. Just the thought of someone else knowing the truth… but then there's the whole reveal to Poppy. That had been a surprise to him. He didn't know that his father was even aware of the creature gene, let alone told anyone about it. Even though Harry trusts Poppy implicitly, having this secret out to another person before he's told his Mate is somewhat unnerving.

As he turned the corner, he saw several students gathered around something, cheering and laughing. The sounds bringing him back to when he was in the muggle school as a kid and brick landed in his stomach at the memory so he pushed his way through the group. "What's going on here?" He said, trying to sound as frightening as Severus.

The group stopped frozen in place and stared at him. He heard something hit the ground then another. When he finally made it to the center of the circle of kids he found two students staring back at him, their wands on the ground at their feet. "I said, what is going on here. Someone had better speak up now or I'll start handing out detentions to each of you." This time he made sure to look each child in the eye. His power surfacing up which made his eyes glow a little greener. The students knew his moods by now and this one told them he meant business.

"Tommy and Zach were seeing who could levitate their wands the longest using wandless wordless magic. So far they've been at it for...ten seconds before…" a girl spoke next to them. "It's all the rage between the upper Upber has the record of one minute five seconds." She continued.

Harry looked around the group of students and could read the truth in what she said. Well, this could be fun. "Okay, lets see it then." He challenged and both students grabbed their wands with huge smiles and readied to begin. Harry surprised them by taking out his wand and doing the same thing.

The girl next to them perked up with a huge "all right!" and started the countdown. "Okay, ready? three...two...one...begin!" She hollered while someone beside her launched a timer above each of them which started as soon as they all levitated their wands.

Harry watched as Tommy kept his wand vertical while Zach had his horizontal, interesting. He kept his at an angle, so when it fell he could catch it easily. All three kept their hands splayed under their wands and their eyes on the prize. Harry knew he could beat them with his eyes closed but he wouldn't. This is a good exercise in wordless wandless magic and he would take the opportunity this game provides him.

"Hold on Tommy!" Someone yelled.

"Look! Zachs wand is sagging on the end! Pull it up, Zach!" Someone else screamed back.

"Ten seconds!" The girl hollered. Everyone started talking at the same time, encouraging the two boys. Harry laughed, this was great! He purposely took a step back and bumped into a student dropping his wand into his hand. He looked up to the timer, thirty four seconds.

"Too bad Professor Potter." The girl said with plenty of joy in her face. "Look! Tommy's wand is moving up!" She pointed. Harry watched as Tommy's wand moved up a half an inch. He turned his eyes to Tommy's face and watched as sweat gathered on his forehead and his skin became ashen. Then he looked to the other child, he too was looking peckish. He wouldn't let this go on much further, both boys are showing signs of magical exhaustion.

Just as he opened his mouth to stop it and declare it a tie, Zach lost his concentration and his wand hit the floor. Everyone whooped around them, pushing forward to clap the boy on the back and to console the other. Harry looked to the timer; forty seven seconds. "Nicely done, boys!" Harry said happily as he came to stand next to both boys. "Is this game something everyone is doing?" He asked the two boys but looked out into the small crowd that had gathered around them.

"Mostly seventh years, Sir, but there are some sixth years that give it a go." Tommy answered him, his smile showing all his teeth. He was still pale but not as much and his breathing was starting to even out.

"Hmm, you might have given me an idea, however, both of you will refrain from anymore of this game for today. Your magic has been strained by this and Poppy would skin you and me alive if you ended up in the infirmary because of this. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Sir" they both said in unison.

"Great! Okay, lets everyone get a move on. I'm sure there's studying or something that needs to be done." He said to the crowd. He stood there and watched as they all scattered away talking excitedly about what just happened. He felt good, he connected with them on their level and they were able to achieve something amazing.

That was rather fun, but did you have pretend so badly? Even that girl child knew you faked it. Do I have to teach you everything?

Harry rolled his eyes at the wall and turned down the hallway to the dungeons. 'Do you want me to touch Severus today or not? Because I can wait until this weekend.' Harry thought back as he grinned sarcastically to himself.

Ugh! Alright! You win! Please don't take my touch from me! I promise to behave from now on!

Harry chuckled at himself as he turned to face the Potion Master's office door. The door opened on its own and Harry found himself looking at a smiling Severus.

"Harry. Come in. I have tea set up."

Harry smiled back, feeling elation course through him, "Thank you, Severus"

XxxX

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