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8:03 AM: Fucking STOP
Damon stuck his head out of the kitchen, smiling as he drawled out, "Having fun?"
Suzanne smirked before replying in an equally lofty tone, "Yup. Kind of glad Uncle Gilbert called you. I'm going to sign him up for the daily Chicken & Waffles newsletter. But texting him weird shit in the middle of the night is cathartic. I set alarms every few hours. I am going to destroy him."
Damon snorted, "Yeah, I know. I heard."
Suzanne didn't look up from her phone or the laptop in front of her that had a list of disturbing facts compiled.
"We've all got crosses to bear, babycakes."
Damon let out an overly dramatic gasp at that. With a slightly posh accent he continued, his arm now thrown over his eyes as if to prevent him from peering at any stray ankles. And on that note, was Victorian sensibility a real thing? Obviously Katherine had been boning any available guy around her, but was that unusual? Or were things more low-key than -
"Now WHAT on EARTH would your boy say if he heard such pet names fall from your lips. Oh, the treachery."
Suzanne finally snorted and looked up, leaning back further into the couch cushions, much to Killer's protest, who was snoozing across her left thigh.
"I'll tone it down then, sugartits."
Damon's mouth dropped open and he took on a look of utter indignation so exaggerated that Suzanne couldn't do anything other than crack up.
As if summoned by the mention of himself, Suzanne's phone began blaring out her far-too-angsty ringtone, causing her to jolt a bit to the side and prompting a mournful whine from the younger of her two dog children.
"It's Nik. I'll give a shout if we're going to have phone sex so you can vacate the premises."
Damon took on a look of genuine disgust, but before he could protest Suzanne waved her hand, cutting him off.
"Nope. You're the one with the Clark Kent hearing, not me. Unless you want to get full deets on what my boyfriend is into, you'll fuck right off."
With a resigned huff, Damon strode towards the kitchen, evidently deciding to stick it out unless he was told to leave. As Suzanne heard the quiet sound of the fridge being wrenched open, she answered her cell.
"And how are you today, babe?"
At the utter silence on the other end of the line, Suzanne figured that her pet names were off track today.
"Alright, bunny? Baby? Dear heart? Gorgeous? Lover-"
She was quickly cut off by Nik before the conversation could spiral any further, which was kind of a shame. She'd been looking up old-school descriptors and was ready to lay on some throwbacks.
"Please. For the love of god. Do not ever call me 'bunny' again or I'll ship you to Timbuktu."
"Aristocats reference? Why Nik, you utter sap."
"I was wondering if you're free the weekend to fly out to meet. I was thinking New York?"
Suzanne rolled her eyes and began scratching behind Killer's ears, hoping to get back into the dog's good graces.
"Is this an actual plan, or are you just making it up right now?"
"I'd like to grab dinner and introduce you to Bekah."
Hearing that, Suzanne perked up a little bit more. This was meeting-the-family. Some next level shit.
"Can we do drinks instead, maybe see where that goes? I'll be spazzing more than usual at dinner and will probably get nervous enough to hit on your sister unintentionally. Or intentionally, we'll see how it plays out."
"Please do not inflate her ego even further by leaving me for my baby sister."
"Hmmmm. Well, I guess I've gotten a bit fond of having you around. Pinky promise I won't swoon for anyone but you, babydoll."
"Suzanne -"
"Oops! What was that? Damon needs me right now? So sorry, gotta go-"
"I can literally hear him laughing at you right now. I'll text you the details and your flight information."
"Okay. Love you, see you this weekend."
"Love you, too."
Predictably, just after Suzanne had hung up and started deep-breathing slash trying to reclaim her zen or align some chakras or any other bullshit that would keep her from panicking, Damon sat down next to her. Opening his mouth to no doubt either mock her or give her a well-meaning but terribly-delivered pep talk, he suddenly shut it again.
"This is a two dog situation, isn't it…"
Without waiting for an answer, he walked over to the dog bed in the corner of the room and gently picked up Louie, making sure the dalmatian didn't drop his bone before settling him down on the thigh Killer hadn't claimed.
"This is a good thing, Suze. You guys are serious and he's introducing you to his estranged vampire sister. It's going to go well, and if she tries to kill you Nik would snap her neck in a heartbeat for you. Pun intended."
"I love the sentiment, but your phrasing could use a little work. Just some constructive criticism to think over."
Damon snorted, but continued in a serious tone of voice.
"No bullshit. This is good. You love New York, for one. It's not like you have to go to Nowhere, Idaho or meet them in Asia when you're jet lagged and probably hungover as fuck-"
"You get shitfaced on a major airline one time and suddenly-"
"So you'll have a good time regardless. If you can bond with Caroline fucking Forbes, you can handle any alpha bitch."
Um. Doubtful. Half of Suzanne's confidence with the Caroline meet-n-greet was that she was almost a decade older than the girl and was dealing with high school shit that she'd already been through. Centuries old family shit and a probably beautiful person - no sibling of Nik's could be anything but good looking - who had no reason to like her brother's human girlfriend did not sound like an easy sitch.
Oh - oh fuck. She was Bella Swan. This was a Rosalie Cullen moment. Shit. Fuck. Shitfuck.
After Damon gallivanted his way to Mystic Falls to deal with some more supernatural teenager bullshit, and alright it made her feel better that she wasn't the only loser going through some Twilight Saga life moment, Suzanne took what had to be a perfect nap. Slowly emerging from beneath her comforter, she shucked off her sweatpants and sweater, staring at the clothes she'd thrown onto the floor an hour before as her first step of packing.
What did one wear when meeting your immortal boyfriend's immortal sister? A dress? Jeans? Was this a formal thing or was she trying to look casual and unaffected?
Unplugging her phone from her charger and knowing that Nik was probably on his way to or in the airport to fly back to the states, she shot him a quick text.
What do I wear that will make you think I look pretty but also keep your sister from destroying me emotionally/physically?
Not expecting an answer, she nearly tossed her phone back onto her bed when an incoming text from Damon caused her to actually laugh out loud. Not just the 'lol' kind of laugh, but actual, barking laughter.
Elena just tried to hit on me?
Unhelpfully, she answered a second later.
Wrap it before you tap it.