Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters. Kubo Tite does! If I did own bleach I'd be rich! Muahahahahahaha!
I just wanted to say thank you to those who read/reviewed and favorite my story! You guys made my day! Now onto chapter 2!
Grimmjow made his way down the narrow corridors of the sleeping quarters of the espada. He was mad, no he was fucking pissed. Ever since the high and mighty lord Aizen enforced this bullshit "cutting expenses" rule everything in hueco mundo just plain sucked! He couldn't relax without his special medication and he already killed off several of the fraccion just this morning. He was never a pleasant person, but lately his anger was out of control. He cursed to himself loudly as he stopped in front of his destination. He knocked loudly on the door. A rustling noise is heard before he hears Szayel yell from inside the laboratory.
"Get lost I'm busy"
Grimmjow stares at the door, "come on man open the door. I really need some! That prick Aizen got rid of my stash!"
"I already told you Stark, Aizen confiscated all my plants, now GET LOST!" more rustling is heard inside the room. "Perhaps with you not being fried twenty four seven, maybe then you can actually stay awake and get some work done."
Grimmjow begins pounding on the door. "This ain't Stark fagboy, now open the fuckin door before I blast it with a cero!"
"Oh, Grimmjow it's you. All out of meow mix I presume?"
Grimmjow growls "Dammit Szayel I'm losing my freaking mind! I need a bag, NOW!"
"Oh grimmkitty what makes you think I have any?" Szayel's voice comes from behind the closed door. "Besides don't you have like eight plants growing in the attic? Let's not forget the ones under your bed as well."
Grimmjow hits the door with his closed fist. "Argggh! That freakin fox faced bastard took them too! He claimed that the plants required water, which costs extra money, so they had to take them."
The door unlocks and swings open revealing a disheveled looking Szayel. "Okay then, here take it." He throws a small ziplock bag at the startled espada. "That'll be $100."
Grimmjow quickly catches the bag and immediately begins rubbing it against his face. A content purr is heard from his throat. "Wait, why is it so much? Hey! I usually only pay twenty dollars!"
Szayel runs his fingers through his matted pink hair. "Well prices went up Grimmkitty, and I have to have extra so I can buy my makeup-I mean my playboys."
"Fag." Grimmjow throws his wad of money at the pink haired man before skipping off to his room, a very noticeable spring in his step.
"Who cares if I don't have money for food. I'll just start prostituting myself to Harribel's fraccion again just like last year! Sex for a tuna fish sandwich, it's a freakin full proof plan!"
Grimmjow makes it to his room and shuts the door. "Yay, catnip for me!"
(A/n: shame on you for thinking grimmkitty was referring to something else! You all have terrible, criminal minds! )
Aizen whistled happily as he made his way to the meeting room. Despite his lack of sleep from the previous night, he was in an excellent mood. He and Gin had spent the entire night playing video games and watching avatar on his super cool new television set. He chuckled lightly as he entered the room.
The espada (minus Luppi who died of his previous injuries), all looked up as their lord entered the room. Aizen smiled as he observed his bitches, I mean loyal subjects. Harribel , who was noticeably pale, sat in her seat with a miserable look on her face. Syzael had his head lowered with his pink hair covering his face. Grimmjow sat at the back of the table, whistling some upbeat tune. Stark, well he was actually wide awake and sat with his eyes focused on Aizen.
"Good morning my beautiful espada! How has your week been so far?"
A murmured "fine" was heard from some of his subjects.
"Wonderful!" Gin smiled.
"I'm awake." Stark stated.
"I think I started a diet, but I'm not sure" Yammy whined.
"You twisted fuck, you blocked all the porn sites!" Yelled Nnoitra.
"I can't find my reading glasses." Tousen says, as he looks around the table.
"Everything is just awesome!" said an enthusiastic Grimmjow. "I love you all so much!" He then reaches over to hug a surprised Ulquiorra.
Aizen sits down at the front of the table. "Fabulous! I was worried you all would have killed yourselves by now."
Gin laughs. "Yes, that would have been unfortunate to say the least."
Aizen takes a sip of his tea, letting the delicious honey flavor take over his senses. "Mmmm That's good! Now on to the business. I've decided to push our weekly sparring sessions to three times a week because I couldn't help but notice that some of you are slacking in your espada duties. After all, we must stay on our toes if we want to kill those goat raping soul reapers in a few months."
"They have goats at petting zoos in the human world. You even get to feed them little pieces of corn!" Grimmjow says, still holding onto Ulquiorra.
Ulquiorra pushes away the sexta espada and looks over at Aizen. "Yes lord I believe that some of us have started to act like lazy, whiny trash. I think it's a good idea if we increase our sparring sessions."
"Pfft! You stay so far up Aizen's ass Ulquiorra, why not give him a blow job while your at it! Your not having any problems cause we all know your not missing out on shit, considering the fact that all you fuckin do is sit in your room all day and read books." Nnoitra growls, his one eye narrowed at the green eyed espada.
"You illiterate trash, I doubt your tiny brain can even spell blow job." Ulquiorra replies without even glancing at the angered man.
Stark begins banging his head on the table in front of him, mumbling incoherent words.
"I also wanted to pass out this week's issue of the espada news letter!" Aizen says as Gin begins passing out a copy to each espada. They each silently read over the bright orange colored paper. "This week's charades will be held in Tousens room at 8 pm. Please make sure you bathe and wear clean socks so we can avoid any altercations like last time."
Harribel rolls her eyes and puts down the flyer. The blonde headed woman was still holding a grudge against her lord for his denying her precious self tanner. She looks off to the side, completely ignoring Aizen as he continues to read off the paper.
"Also, I now declare every first Monday of each month to be Aizen appreciation day. I expect all of you to write me a heart felt card describing how much you love an adore me being your leader. Please make sure you put effort into these cards, as I will be unhappy if they just plain suck. Gifts are to be turned in to Gin's office and make sure you use white wrapping paper. Because if you don't, I'll probably kill you."
Several of the espada stiffen at Aizen's statement. Yammy speakes up.
"So, do we like get a prize if we write the best "appreciation" card?"
Aizen frowns. "Your prize is having the honor of basking in the greatness that is ME!" Aizen brushes his loose curl back from his face and continues.
"Funeral arrangements for Luppi have been called off due to the obvious budget cut. I have instead disposed of his body in a more proper manner. I had Tousen butcher up his remains and incorporate them in last night's Lasagna."
Each person around the table immediately begins throwing up the contents of their stomachs. Stark pukes directly onto Harribel's lap. She screams loudly and slaps him across the face. Stark passes out and Grimmjow just sits there laughing to himself.
"What the FUCK is wrong with you?" yells Nnoitra.
"So that's what that odd flavor was." Yammy says, being the only person who didn't throw up.
Aizen picks up his paper and continues reading. "If we could all flip on over to the back I'd like to go over a few more things." The queasy, bewildered espada all turn over their flyers to read the back. A picture of Gin in a hot pink bikini greets them on the back page.
"Oh my god! What is this shit?" Grimmjow yells.
"Gin, for the love of Aizen!" Harrible covers her eyes.
"That's cute, what other size does it come in?" Syzael states with a smile on his face.
Aizen ignores the espada. "Wednesday is now bikini Wednesday! And whoever has the best ensemble will get a ten dollar gift card to Bestbuy."
"Oooo a gift card!" Gin claps.
Grimmjow pulls a bag out his pocket and begins rubbing his face against it.
Harribel crosses her arms across her chest. "I'm not going to wear that. I refuse to exploit myself like that Lord Aizen."
"Please, wearing that type of thing will be more of a cover up for you Harribel" Yammy mumbles.
Aizen folds his hands and smiles. "There also will be a 11 p.m. lights out rule that will go into effect during the weekdays. I have gotten several complaints about someone's "nightly activities" that have been keeping people up at night."
Harribel glares at Nnoitra. "Sheesh, you would think Aizen getting rid of your porn would keep you from doing that, but I guess you still found something to get off of! Pervert!"
Nnoitra grins. "You should be happy dear, considering that I'm using nude photos of you I bought from Syzael."
"What! Syzael you bastard!" Harribel yells as she leaps across the table onto the surprised man. The two proceed to beat the crap out of each other, all the while Aizen sits calmly sipping his tea.
"I'm so glad we could go over this news letter and I'm very sure you are all eager to get started on your thank-you cards. With that note, you are all free to go."
"FREE TO GO CRAAAZY!" Grimmjow yells as he strips off his clothing and begins dancing naked on the table.
Aizen rubs his temples. "Who gave Grimmjow catnip!"
A/n: So am I the only one that thought Grimmjow's release form looked like the goat guy from Narnia? ….I guess I am….ha ha ha Review?