A/N: Nice to see you all again. Thank you Artemi7, Thrawn13 (to everyone saying why that wasn't as over-the-top hilarious, simply put, those are gods we're talking about. I usually try to keep my characters, well, in character, but sometimes as you may have seen they end up OOC, but these tricks are, for the most part, stuff that I could genuinely imagine the four demigods doing, but the Olympians? No, they wouldn't engage in that. Which is also why there was no 'refuse you lose' round, because none of them could handle being given orders from the others), Verteller (well, he meant none were directly involved), ConnorPerson, Guest, WinterWind14, a-halfblood-with-attitude (I also like the horizontal lines, I'm re-introducing them, thing was that I would need about sixteen on one page for the last chapter and I didn't think that would look neat), Annabeth and Percy Jackson, SolangeloismyOTP, Luna (things I'd like to do, but I'll have to wait and see).
Now, I have been accused of favoritism enough that I decided that you now what, I'll make the results random. So in this arc, everything, including the line-ups, and who wins, will be random and beyond my control. Of course, that's assuming that random number generators are truly random, which is something I think isn't true at all, but you know...
It was kind of hard for Percy and Frank to explain to everyone as to why they smelled so bad, and so the story they came up with was that they were walking around in the woods when a skunk came. People usually didn't stick around long enough to hear any more of the story and just usually nodded understandably before dashing off.
Aside from that, the two of them had no other real problems save for the fact that for some reason, Percy's hair was dyed greenish-yellow and was falling off.
"What did you put in that stuff?" Percy asked Leo one day.
Leo shrugged. "Hey, my hair began falling off too when you guys dyed it pink! So stop complaining."
As such, Percy had now fallen on wearing a hat whenever he went around to hide the patches of hair that had fallen off.
But, such were the times, and times change, and soon enough, time for the next arc had started.
Of course, they had to wait until Percy and Frank began smelling somewhat normal before they could do this.
Task One: In this task, which is a Joker Vs. Joker Challenge, two contestants will go up to a person and say that the two of them had exchanged presents, and they want to know who gave the worst present out of the two of them. The 'winner' or the person whose gift is judged to be the worst will move on to the next round in a tournament fashion.
The original idea was to let the other two non-participants choose the gifts in question, but then this was changed to allow each of them to choose what horrible gift they were giving to each other by themselves. Only the winner of the tournament will escape having received a penalty point.
Round one started off with Jason and Percy. They were each holding boxes and they found someone in the park who looked like he wasn't busy.
"Hey, can we talk to you for a minute?" Percy asked.
The guy took off his headphones and said, "Uh, what?"
"Uh, nothing, just uh, Merry Christmas," Jason said. "And happy holidays. D'ya know what, my friend and I have this Christmas tradition going- I'll try to keep this short- we each try to get each other the worst gift possible, there are some rules y'know, we don't repeat gifts and we can't give each other nothing, and we ask someone to see who wins."
"Wow," the guy said. "That's seriously messed up. I mean, that is so not in the spirit of Christmas at all."
"Yeah, it sort a weird tradition," Percy said. "It all started off in first grade, when I got him a shoe string and he got me a wad of gum for Christmas- we sort of made it a challenge after that."
"Okay, I guess I'm in," the guy said.
"Wow that guy turned really fast," Leo said.
"So what did you guys get each other?" Frank asked.
"So, this is the present that Percy over here gave me," Jason said, unwrapping it. "Let's see… oh, it's a pack of microwavable popcorn."
"And it expired five years ago," Percy pointed out.
"Which dumpster did you drag that out of?" Leo asked.
"Right, so an expired pack of popcorn, right," Jason said.
"That's gonna be hard to beat," the guy said.
"Well, I tried," Jason said.
Percy opened his box to see that his present was… a bucket. One that had small holes at the bottom, and was therefore, useless for storing water.
"Wow," the guy said.
"Okay, okay, now what you guys should do is explain why your present was the worst, and why you actually loved what you got," Frank said.
"Okay, but I got the worse present, right?" Jason asked. "I mean, I actually like what Percy gave me. I can microwavable popcorn all day."
"No, no he can't, he's lying," Percy said. "He doesn't even own a microwave, that's why I got it for him. I'm being that inconsiderate of his feelings."
"Wow Percy, that makes you a really nasty person," Leo said. "I like it!"
"And the thing is I can always borrow a microwave," Jason said. "And you know how it is right, when you ask somebody for a favor, they end up liking you better? So now this'll give me the opportunity to be better friends with someone when I ask to use their microwave. Plus I occasionally enjoy eating microwavable popcorn uncooked, y'know, just the uncooked kernels. And on top of that, everyone knows that food tastes better when its past its expiry date."
The guy laughed. "That is not true."
"Oh, no, it is," Jason said. "I think it's true, and the reason that they have expiry dates in the first place is because they want to hoard all the good stuff for themselves- you know, that's why they make sure that shops can't sell stuff beyond their expiry dates so they can keep it all for themselves, it's a big conspiracy theory, I tell you."
"You know, Jason, now that you've said all of that, we're going to make you microwave that packet and eat it," Leo said.
"Yeah, definitely," Frank said.
"No, no, I mean, my present was bad, don't listen to him," Percy said. "You should never eat expired food."
"I've got to agree with him on that one," the guy said.
"Yeah, but I like my present," Percy said. "I just love this bucket, even if it does have holes at the bottom, because you know what, if I want to carry water from one place to another it might be heavy but it automatically becomes lighter over time. I mean, it's like magic!"
"Percy, much like that bucket, your argument does not hold water," Frank said.
"And see, look, it means that I have to take more trips to fill up water, which is good exercise," Percy said.
"Yeah, but think about it this way, even expired popcorn can be used as packing material," Jason said. "Face it, I'm a terrible gift-giver, and Percy gave me a great gift."
"Packing material?" the guy asked.
"Yeah, you know how they put those small Styrofoam popcorn-like things in boxes, right?" Jason asked. "You can use popcorn instead."
"No you can't."
"I don't think you can," the guy said.
"And see, even if I don't eat it, I can always give it to the birds or a dog, right?" Jason said.
"Yeah, but this bucket has holes in it, but I can patch that up pretty easily," Percy said. "And I could fill it up with soil and plant something in it."
"Uh, yeah, you're right actually, you could grow something in that," the guy said.
"See, Jason is the one who gave me a good gift," Percy said.
"But the soil would still leak out a bit," Jason said. "But popcorn- I mean I still it's a delicacy, you know, especially since it's expired. It's just like wine- it gets better the more you age it."
"Okay, I'm gonna have to go with… uh, I think, your name was Jason, right? Your gift was more terrible I think," the guy said.
"Yes, yes!" Jason said and turned to other people in the park. "I'm terrible at giving presents! Woohoo!"
Result: Percy loses this round and Jason will move on to the finals.
Next up were Frank and Leo who were clutching their presents, looking for someone to ask.
"Hey Percy, these guys are taking a whole lot of time," Jason said. "So in the meanwhile, I decided to make some popcorn. You want some?"
"Only if you eat it first," Percy said, looking at the bowl warily.
Jason chuckled. "This isn't the same one you gave me… promise. I kept the one you gave me to make you eat it in case you lose this round as punishment."
"Right, then take a bite first then," Percy said.
"Oh, hey look, that guy looks depressed and is just sitting there with his dog," Leo said.
"Yeah, kind of reminds me of you," Frank said. "Let's go visit him."
"Uh, hey, can we have like five minutes," Frank asked the guy.
"Uh, why?" the guy asked.
"Well, my friend and I have this Christmas contest to see who can give each other the worst gift possible," Leo said.
"That sounds dumb," the guy said.
"Yeah, well, we want you to be the judge, y'know, your decision is final and all," Frank said.
"Well, I guess I have like five- maybe ten minutes, tops," the guy said.
"Right, so let's see why my best friend Leo got for me," Frank said and began opening his box.
"Is it that painting that he made?" Percy wondered. "Because that would quite genuinely be the worst present ever."
Well, it wasn't a painting, Frank opened the box to see a cage in which there was a small, crumpled up piece of paper in it.
"Uh, what is this supposed to be exactly?" Frank asked.
"Oh, that's a pet rock," Leo said. "Y'know, they were in fashion a lot earlier, so I decided to make an origami pet rock and paint it grey so it would add a modern twist to it."
"An origami…. rock?" the guy asked.
"Yeah, but it turns out I couldn't find a way to make a rock using origami so I just crumpled a piece of paper a bit,' Leo said. "Yeah, you don't need to tell me, I'm really lazy and that was a lousy gift."
"Uh, well, do we have some sort of points system here?" the guy asked. "Like, I'm wondering, what is it that I'm supposed to be grading you guys based on? That gift is technically homemade, so I guess that's bonus points to it for that…"
"Well, I mean, there's no scorecard," Leo said. "You just need to score it based on how you feel about it… and let's be honest here, man, my gift was terrible and thoughtless and seriously speaking if you were given it right now, I'd think you wouldn't want to be friends with me at all, isn't that right?"
"I love this challenge," Percy said. "Because there's no way to win without losing…."
"Of course not," Frank said. "I'll have you know that I really like this gift. I've always wanted a pet, but you know what, my, uh, apartment won't let me keep pets like a dog with me so I think this would be great. And the fact that it's homemade, just like you said, will remind me of my friendship with Leo every single day that I look at it. If you ask me, this isn't a terrible gift at all, but one that I'll keep and admire for ages to come."
"He's gonna throw that in the trash can five minutes after this is over, isn't he?" Jason asked Percy.
"Make it three minutes," Percy said.
"Right, well let's see what thoughtful gift you got me," Leo said and opened his box to see that there was a piece of paper with a link to a Youtube video on it. "Uh, what is this?"
"Oh, I made a music video for you," Frank said. "I put it on Youtube for you to see, but I should warn you that it's a terrible video."
Frank took out his phone and began playing the video. It started with Frank standing in his bedroom with his hair messed up and part of it made into braids.
"So, this is lil' Frank, y'all," Frank in the video said and began saying, "Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang,…." over and over for at least three minutes. And there was no music at all in the background, just Frank dancing (or to be slightly more accurate, angrily flailing around) while he kept saying that.
Now, thing was that with the angles the cameras were placed, Jason and Percy really couldn't get a good luck at what was playing, but they got a good gist of it.
"I don't see how that's a bad present," Percy said. "Frank, I'd pay to see that."
"I… I hated this song," the guy said.
"Yeah, see, the thing is that I'm the one who got the worst present," Frank said. "Everyone hates that song, and I know Leo really hates it, and I made it even worse. I mean, what kind of friend am I? I didn't even actually get you anything."
"Oh, come on Frank," Leo said. "This is video is amazingly hilarious. I'll laugh at it all day long."
"Wow, the first statement in this challenge that I think is true," Jason said.
"And anyway, this means that this a piece of art from my best bud, Frank. I can't possibly hate this," Leo said.
"Well yeah, I did think it was kind of funny," the guy said.
"Yeah, and let's be honest here, though everyone says so, nobody likes homemade gifts," Leo said. "It just means you're too cheap to buy one, you know, like I was with Frank's gift. So let's be honest here, my gift was far worse."
"Well, when I really get to think about it," the guy said and scratched his chin, looking at the two things. "I'd have to go with the pet paper rock, that really seems to be the worst out of the two of them."
Leo fist-pumped the air. This mean that he won.
Result: Leo moves on to the next round while Frank loses.
It was Leo versus Jason for the final round. Both of them were given a day to think up their next presents and then it was on.
They both shuddered in the cold- Leo couldn't exactly start a fire here and Jason wasn't too used to it anyway.
Percy and Frank were back at HQ, sipping hot cocoa and not eating the popcorn that Jason had left for them.
"Hey, that lady over there looks free," Leo said.
"Uh, would you have two minutes?" Jason asked.
"Um, what is it?" she asked the two boys.
"Uh, my friend and I here have a contest every year to see who can give each other the worst gift, so you know, uh, we need an uninterested third party to judge who wins," Jason said.
"That's… a very weird idea," she said.
"We won't take too much of your time," Leo said. "And your decision is final, y'know, so are you okay with this?"
"Alrighty then," she said.
"Right, let's see what I got," Jason said and opened his box to reveal a large, black, lump of coal.
"Well, someone was a naughty boy this year," Percy said.
"Yeah, can't say that Jason doesn't deserve that," Frank said.
"Yeah, see, look what I got him," Leo said. "It's a literal lump of coal! How could anyone possibly be more inconsiderate than that-"
"You know what, I just want to thank you Leo," Jason said. "Thank you for this… interesting specimen for my rock collection. I was just looking for this sort of bituminite to add to my gallery. This really helps."
"Bituminite isn't a word," Frank said. "But you're lying like a master."
"So, yeah, I really love this," Jason said. "Hey, uh Leo, see what I got for you."
Leo opened up his box- which was pretty big and the moment he saw the black fabric on top it was enough for him to know what it was before he even took it out.
He took it out. Yup, it was a maid outfit. Thankfully with less frills and ribbons than the others, but embarrassing nonetheless.
"Man, some coal and a maid outfit?" Percy said. "You guys are really lame at thinking of new stuff to give away. I had way better ideas…. you know, like how about something original… like a baby alligator or something."
"I'd actually like a baby alligator," Frank said.
"No you wouldn't- not once it gets big," Percy said.
Leo was clearly struggling to get the words that he had to say out of his mouth, like he'd rather be anywhere than there at that moment. "I-I uh, absolutely love this Jason. I think this is my size and will fit me perfectly. I completely and truly enjoy dressing up like this. Thank you."
Frank and Percy could not stop laughing.
"It's killing him," Percy said. "He can't keep this up."
Leo's face had turned a dark shade of red but he was continuing, "I uh, am a bit embarrassed Jason- you're not supposed to put me out like this in front of strangers…"
"Oh, that's alright, I don't judge," the woman said.
"Yeah, so I just wanted to repeat how much I loved this," Leo said.
"And I bet you look pretty cute in it, too," the woman said.
Leo winced, he wished Frank and Percy wouldn't laugh so loud into the microphone- it hurt. Quite a bit.
"But I think that Leo's present was far better," Jason said. "After all, this is a perfect piece for my collection-"
"- no it isn't I just got it as a joke and I totally love wearing maid outfits all the time," Leo interrupted.
"Yeah, Leo, we have that on recording and you can bet we're going to broadcast that all over Camp," Frank said.
"Well, I'll be honest here, the lump of coal seems like it's the gift I wouldn't want at all," she said.
And so, Leo wins this whole tournament. Everyone else gets a negative point.
A/N: And that's all for now. By the way, last time I tried Joker V. Joker I'm aware it didn't turn out to well... your thoughts on it this time?