Author's Notes: Hi everyone, and thank you for tuning in to the next chapter of "Who's Banished Now?". I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but in a few days I'll have a project for a client that will take at least a few weeks, so I'm trying to get in all the writing I can for both novels and fanfics this weekend. Thank you for reading, and I hope you guys enjoy this new chapter :)

Chapter 9

Dearest Companion

The next day Gaz woke up late since she no longer had to go to skool. She started her day with some sugary cereal and orange juice, and then went to find Purple, who was nowhere in sight. She didn't even know why she was looking. Purple was a grown...whatever he was. He could find her when he was good and ready. At the same time though she got a weird feeling from him the night before, and she wondered if he was malfunctioning or something. Aliens with robo-backpacks malfunctioned, right?

She searched the castle grounds and found nothing, but when she went outside she heard snoring coming from a well. She raised an eyebrow, wondering if Purple had been stupid enough to get stuck down there. When she looked however she remembered the previous day's events, as Dib was the one who was sleeping in the well.

"Guess they never finished the dungeon," Gaz said to herself, "Hey Dib! Wake up!"

"Wah!" Dib shrieked, and then looked up to see Gaz was standing at the well's lip above him, "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"

"You're not still mad, are you?" Gaz scoffed, "You were the one who just barged in, and it's not like I ordered your execution or anything."

"You know, you're a real brat sometimes," Dib grumbled, "I came here to see if you were okay, and I get manhandled by your stupid guards! You know what? Forget it. You and your alien monster friend just go on having the time of your lives! Mark my words though, this isn't going to end well for you."

"Heh heh, well." Gaz chuckled at the wordplay.

"I'm serious!" Dib shouted irately, "Gaz, I've spent five years of my life learning about the Irken race. They don't make friends, and they don't care who they hurt. Purple is using you Gaz, and when he's done with you he'll kill you. Why do you think I came down here? I'm trying to save your life!"

"You don't know anything!" Gaz snapped defensively, "Purple is my friend! Maybe you just don't know what one looks like because you've never had one!"

"Neither have you!" Dib pointed out.

"Why can't you mind your own business?" Gaz's words were harsh, but Dib could hear the way her voice broke.

"Are you crying?" Dib asked.

"No!"

"Gaz...Look, I'm sorry, okay. I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm trying to protect you. We may not always get along, but I'm your brother. I don't want to lose you."

For a long moment Gaz said nothing, and Dib feared she had walked away and left him to rot in the medieval well. Finally, after a few moments however...

"I don't know what I'm doing," Gaz said in a small voice Dib almost didn't hear.

"What do you mean?" Dib asked.

"It just sort of hit me," Gaz explained softly, "I rule earth now. I wanted to help out Purple because I was bored and he was too. I didn't want him to kill you, at least now right then, and I thought it would be fun taking on the system and hanging out. It's more than that though. We won. We won and it was easy. Now we rule the earth, and neither of us are qualified. I just assumed he would nuke the whole thing when he was done. I thought the human race wasn't worth saving, so I didn't try to convince him to save it. Now though, I have the power to change things...and I don't know how. How do you fix something that's so broken? How do you help people that seem to want to be destroyed?"

"Believe it or not Gaz, I understand what you mean," Dib replied, "You've seen me try to expose Zim. You've seen me try to help people, and every time it's the same. They call me names and ignore me."

"They're jealous of you, idiot," Gaz interjected.

"Jealous? Of what?" Dib asked bitterly, "Jealous that I'm an outcast and that no one listens to me?"

"No Dib, they're jealous because you're smart and you're the son of a rich and famous scientist," Gaz told him, "They're jealous because from the outside your life looks great. You can afford anything you want for any hobby you want. To be fair you chose to be a UFO spotter, but that doesn't matter. The point is you have what most kids want; money and freedom."

"She says as I sit at the bottom of a well," Dib muttered to himself.

"You don't get it! They don't hate you because you're a loser. They hate you because they want to be you. And frankly...I do too."

"You? Why?" Dib asked incredulously.

"Because Dad loves you," Gaz spat venomously, "He notices you, works with you, and wanted you to be the next Membrane scientist in the family. I could've gone into science and he wouldn't even notice. You're his namesake, and I'm just the extra kid that came around after he stopped being interested in parenting. You may just be his project, but I'm not even that. No one notices I exist unless I'm hurting someone, and now I've hurt the whole world. Everything on earth is nothing more than a chocolate wasteland because of me...and I don't even want it. I don't want to be a ruler. I don't know how to make things better or even worse. This whole thing is a joke, and it's not even funny anymore."

"Well, why not try to fix things?" Dib suggested, "I mean, I'm guessing there's no more military spending, right? So that means there's lots of money around the world for other things like infrastructure, pollution management, research into efficient and disposable packing containers, better education programs, and so on."

"How'd you do that?"

"Do what?" Dib asked in confusion.

"How'd you come up with so many ideas so fast?" Gaz elaborated.

"I've thought about it before," Dib replied, "I mean sure I care about my paranormal studies, but I also know the world is a dangerous and toxic place. That's why I never really bothered Dad. His entire field of study is about making the planet a better place. The thing is though, the universe is bigger than our planet, and the Irkens are ruining and destroying countless other planets too. You're just helping to keep the Irken machine running. That's why we have to stand up to Purple! He's just one Irken, but there are many more of them out there, making people's lives miserable. Join me, and we can be rid of them forever!"

"Do you want out of that well or not?" Gaz asked dryly.

"Yes," Dib replied meekly.

"Then we're going to pretend this conversation never happened."

"Okay."

Dib wouldn't bring it up to Gaz again, but he wasn't finished yet. He would find a way to destroy Purple, Zim, and every Irken that dared to invade his planet. He would save the earth from their death grip if it was the last thing he did. As for Gaz being queen of everything, well...that was a horror he would have to deal with one step at a time. At the moment however, he had no plan.

Later that day Gaz found Purple sitting in his room and eating snacks. He seemed to be stress eating, but it was hard to tell with that guy. He would eat for every emotion, to the point where Gaz wondered if every Irken was like that or if Purple had some sort of extraterrestrial eating disorder.

Gaz wanted to talk to Purple about working on some of the ideas Dib had brought up to her, but she knew Purple had the same aversion to real work that she did, so she decided to ease into the conversation by getting Purple to play Portal with her. He agreed, but she could tell that something was bothering him. Purple seemed more distant than usual, and Dib's warning popped into her mind. It seemed stupid, thinking this timid goofy alien could actually want to harm her. She didn't believe it, but she knew things weren't right with him either.

For over an hour the pair took turns playing the original Portal. It was better than trying to play co-op mode in the second game as that always led to Gaz yelling at Purple for being so slow. Even with single player in the first game it was hard for Gaz to keep her snide comments to herself.

Things took an odd turn however when the duo got to the companion cube level. It was Purple's turn, and he was solving the puzzle quickly enough since he had played it once before. Despite playing well however, Purple seemed to be getting more anxious as the level progressed. Then when it got to the part where it was time to burn the companion cube, Purple stopped.

"Hurry up!" Gaz egged him on, "Dump that thing in the fire so I can play."

"Uh...are we sure that's the only way to beat the level?" Purple asked, "Maybe we can disable the grid and take it with us."

"It doesn't work that way," Gaz replied, "I've played this game enough times to know it's secrets, and there's no way to save the cube. Now burn it so I can play!"

"No!" Purple protested, "I don't wanna burn it! It's my cube!"

"Oh for-! Fine, if you won't burn it then give me the controller so I can burn it."

"No! I won't let you hurt my cube!"

"What is wrong with you? Give me that controller!"

"No!"

"I said give it!"

"You can't make me kill it!"

"Purple!"

"I won't kill my friend!"

"It's a stupid cube! You don't need it!"

"Yes I do!"

"It's holding you back! Just dump it!"

"Leave me alone!"

Gaz then struggled with Purple over the controller. Purple managed to hold her at arm's length, and she clawed at him trying in vain to get the game controller out of his grasp. Finally she sighed sharply and gave up. Purple defensively held the controller close to his chest and darted his eyes over to the screen to make sure the cube was okay. His character had dropped the cube, but it was safe.

Realizing something else was bothering Purple and getting nowhere in their game, Gaz did something that she normally considered unthinkable. She went over to the game console, and turned it off. Purple looked at her with owlish eyes, stunned that she had done that.

"Okay Purple, something is obviously going on with you," Gaz said sternly, "Now, tell me why you're acting so weird."

"You...you shut off the game," Purple muttered quickly.

"Yes, because we need to talk about this," Gaz insisted.

"You shut off the game," Purple repeated.

"Purple! Are you going to tell me what's on your mind or not!?" Gaz demanded.

Purple didn't reply. He just looked from Gaz to the screen. Gaz wondered if she had made him snap or something, and started to get uncomfortable in the silence. Purple finally blinked and looked back at Gaz questioningly.

"Purple...about ruling earth," Gaz began cautiously, "Has an Irken invader ever...given back a planet they conquered?"

"No," Purple replied, "One time an invader got shot out of a cannon and onto a planet they conquered. I ordered that, actually. It was pretty funny at the time."

"Purple, how would you feel if we didn't rule earth anymore?" Gaz asked.

"It would screw up my progress report," Purple replied honestly, "Then again, that isn't going so hot anyway. Tell you what, if you don't want to be Co-Tallest anymore I won't make you. I'll keep the planet for myself and put you and your family on a protected list. That way nothing has to change for you and you don't have to work in a chocolate factory."

"Can I give you advice if I think of something?" Gaz asked.

"Always," Purple replied with a smile, "You can go home if you want. I'm sure you miss your house and your stuff."

"Yeah," Gaz admitted, "My brother's already on his way home. We're supposed to eat out with my dad tomorrow, if he remembers. I probably won't be here then."

"That's okay. I'll find something to do," Purple assured her.

Gaz decided to leave right away. She hoped Purple could rule earth without her. He probably couldn't, given how much a flake he was, but Gaz just didn't want the responsibility. Whether the earth was saved or vaporized, she just didn't want that to be her choice.

When Gaz left Purple went back to the game room and looked at the screen where they had played Portal. He still couldn't get it out of his mind. His options had been to either kill his best friend or stay in that room and be tortured by GLaDOS forever because he wouldn't kill his best friend. Gaz had found a third option though. She didn't like that game, so she just turned it off. If Purple wanted to save Gaz and please Zim he had to find a third option in his own mission. The only question was, how?