*Author's Note*
Did someone ask for a longer chapter? Well, I'm nothing if not accommodating.
But, I will warn you that this chapter has a lot of graphic depictions of sickness.
Your discretion is advised.
Also, so much love to you. I love you so much and you're beautiful and awesome. Yes, you reading this. I've gotten so much amazing feedback on this story that I write on breaks and lunches at work and it's so incredible. Thank you :)
He'd never believed in hell.
To Ben, it was just a scary story parents told their kids to get them to eat their vegetables or do their chores.
But that week made him change his mind.
Before they'd found out about the baby, Rey was convinced she had a stomach bug, as one was rumored to be going around the base. She'd been sick for a few days, being able to keep nothing down but toast or bone broth.
Ben would take that now and be grateful.
The night after they'd told his mother, he'd fallen asleep on Rey's bed. That was nothing new, he often fell asleep with her, and always woke where ever his physical body was. Most of the time, it was his own chambers on his ship.
Hours later, the Bond tore him from his sleep. He looked around, taking a moment to recognize where he was, and felt the Bond be stretched, as if it were an elastic band, and pop back, snapping into him painfully.
He kicked off the covers and stood up, his head swimming, his stomach churning, and stepped through, finding Rey doubled over the toilet of her refresher, heaving.
He brushed his fingers against the sides of her face and pulled her hair back, holding it until her stomach emptied and his own guts settled.
"I'm sorry for waking you." She apologized.
He shook his head. "You didn't." The Bond called him, as it always did when she was sick.
She brushed her teeth and he tucked her back into bed, falling asleep with her in his arms.
Only to be woken in the same fashion a few hours later.
The next morning, his alarm clock woke him in his room, and he stepped through the Bond, finding Rey asleep on her side in her bed. She stirred when he kneeled down next to her, and smiled before opening her eyes.
"Hey." He said, brushing his knuckles across her cheek.
"Hey." She said back, opening her eyes and looking at him. She pulled a hand out from under her blankets to touch his face.
"Do I need to stay with you?" He kissed her palm.
She shook her head. "I'll have Rose bring me-" An image of toast flashed into her mind, and into his, and he felt her stomach flip through The Bond. She jumped up and raced to the refresher, retching for several minutes as he rubbed her back in small circles.
"Should you see the doctor?" He asked.
"I saw her yesterday." She reached up to flush.
"You weren't this sick yesterday." He pointed out.
"I asked her about how sick I was, and she said that it was normal. That it would pass."
But, it didn't.
He felt it.
Felt her core muscles grow sore from the constant strain, the burn in her chest and throat, the angry growl of her hungry stomach, even that making her vomit.
He'd never felt so helpless. She was exhausted, growing weaker with each passing hour.
Every time she fell asleep, he would return to his ship in an attempt to at least seem as if he were interested, but the Bond would tremble, calling him back.
And he went to her, wondering with his teeth clinched so tight that his jaw ached, how much longer he could watch her suffer.
He'd naively thought that things couldn't get worse on day three, when Rey was vomiting ten times a day, regardless of whether she tried to eat or not.
A knock sounded on her door and when Ben opened it, he looked down, to find a tiny woman standing in the hallway.
He recognized her from Rey's memories as a woman named Rose and let her in.
Rose went to Rey's side, sitting down next to her on the bed, and pulled a white bottle out of her satchel. "I told the doctor that you couldn't hold anything down and she suggested these." She uncapped the bottle and fished out a pill. "They will help."
Rey opened her mouth and Rose dropped the pill in as Ben handed her a bottle of water and moved to hold Rey up so she could swallow.
"How long have you been here?" Rose asked, her almond shaped eyes going up to meet his.
"She's been like this for three days." He told her, easing Rey back down onto her mattress.
Rose looked him up and down. "When's the last time you've slept? Or eaten?"
"What does that matter?" He snapped, though he hadn't meant to.
Her face softened. "I'll stay with her today."
Ben was shaking his head before she'd even finished that sentence. "I'm not leaving her."
"You need sleep." Rose argued. "You need food."
"And she needs me more."
Ben. Rey called, and his head turned as if she'd said it out loud. I know what this is doing to you. She showed him how he looked, his hair in disarray, with several days of stubble on his face, deep purple bags under his bloodshot eyes, shoulders slumped in anxious worry.
He shoved the image away.
Get some rest. She urged and he didn't fight her. He couldn't.
He knelt down and kissed her clammy forehead. I love you.
She looked at him, broken blood vessels spotting the whites of her eyes with dots of red. I know.
He stood and stepped through the Bond, knowing it would call him back soon. He fell, face first onto his bed, not taking the time to undress or remove his boots, and was asleep in minutes.
He awoke several hours later, in the same position he'd fallen in, and put both hands on the mattress, pushing himself up to look at the clock on his nightstand.
Force, he'd been asleep for seven hours!
He went to check on Rey, finding her asleep in a fuzzy brown sweater he'd never seen before. It was huge, going to her jawbone, and covering her hands to the tips of her fingers. She was also covered in several layers of blankets.
Rose, sitting in a nearby chair, looked up from a book in her hands. "You still look like hell." She said simply, and went back to reading.
Ben ignored that.
"How long has she been asleep?"
"Not long." Rose said, sounding uninterested.
He hadn't felt anything through the bond, so the medicine must have worked. He tilted his head back and signed in relief. But, if she just went to sleep he didn't want to wake her.
He returned to his room. He ate and showered, and ventured out to catch up on the goings-on of his ship, checking on Rey periodically, but finding her asleep or hitting the walls of her shields. That confused him, but he didn't push it.
He stepped through once more to check on Rey before he went to bed that night, finding her in that hideous sweater with Rose sleeping soundly next to her.
He went to his own room, ate and fell asleep.
The Bond pulled him so forcefully, he bolted straight up in bed, gasping, pain in his stomach, his sides, his head, but it was a ripping pain in his chest that stole his breath. He got up, feeling as if he'd lose consciousness at any moment.
Rey.
He followed the call of The Bond to her, it taking much longer than just a step, and stumbled into her bedroom, expecting her to be in the refresher but found her in her bed, and there was vomit on her sheets.
She looked up at him with a pained expression and vomited again, a sob also shaking her. Rose tried to get a wastebasket under Rey in time but failed, and they both watched as Rey soiled the sweater she was still wearing.
Ben swore and went to her. "What happened?" He demanded.
"She tried to take another pill." Rose explained.
"I thought they helped." He grabbed the bottom of the sweater to pull it off but Rey gripped it weakly with both of her hands.
He looked at Rose, who looked down at the floor to avoid his gaze.
The Bond rumbled, and Rey's shields broke, flooding his mind with the past 24 hours.
Rey had hoisted her shields in place and closed the Bond as soon as Ben left. He'd been by her side for three days, the worry in his eyes tearing into her heart and she knew he was suffering just as much as she was. Maybe more, since he felt everything she felt, and was forced to watch her waste away. So, she used the last of her strength to push him out to protect him from what was going on with her. Was it going to work? She didn't know, but she had to try.
She'd asked Rose for the thickest sweater she could find, claiming to be cold. Rose had returned with one so enormous it covered Rey to mid-thigh, hiding how thin she'd grown. Perfect
And, the medicine Rose brought her hadn't helped, because Rey couldn't even keep it down, vomiting nearly as soon as she swallowed. But, the fact that she'd still tried to force them into her had actually made it worse.
And she'd wasted energy on her shields, on shutting him out, and manipulated their Bond to keep it from him.
To protect him.
His haunting brown eyes slowly moved to her, hurt and betrayal leaving his face blank, angry tears blurring his vision. His chest ached as if he'd been punched, the wind knocked out of him.
He reached over Rey's shoulder and grabbed a fistful of fabric. She didn't protest as he pulled it off, leaving Rey in her Binder that she always wore now to ease the aching of her breasts.
He drew a shuttering breath and it came out of him and a low broken moan as he saw exactly what she'd been so desperate to hide.
She'd always been thin, but a week of starving had hollowed out her collar bone, leaving pits in her shoulders. He could see her ribs, her sternum, her hips, and the bones of her wrists.
Hot tears rolled down his face and he had to remind himself to breath, taking another long, shaky breath.
Rey leaned forward, heaving, the stabbing pain in her chest blazing into him, and he heard Rose gasp sharply as bright red blood pooled out of Rey's mouth.
Ben didn't think, his body moving on it's own accord, as he hooked an arm under Rey's knees and wrapped his other arm around her shoulders and lifted her up effortlessly.
He turned to Rose. "Medical Bay." He growled through clinched teeth.
Rose did not hesitate to show him the way.