Rey opened her eyes slowly, blinking as she recognized Bens arm crooked under her neck, his bicep against her cheek, and his hand sprawled across her sheets. Her back was pressed against his bare chest, and his other arm was wrapped around her waist, his knees tucked behind hers. She turned her head to glance over her shoulder, somehow still surprised when she saw Ben's sleeping form.
She smiled. He's here.
She snuggled closer to him, surrounding herself with his scent and warmth, the two things that never came through the Bond.
They'd fallen asleep together nearly every night since sealing the Bond, either with her in his bed, or, most often, him in hers, but they would wake up alone, having returned to their physical bodies.
But, he was here. She could feel the healthy thump of his heart and hear his even breathing.
She laid there until her bodily needs had her leaving Ben's arms and tip-toeing to the refresher.
She was washing her hands when she felt her stomach flip, and swallowed. "Oh, no." She whispered, feeling the blood drain from her face and rushed to the dining table where her medication sat.
She grabbed the packaged syringe and the glass vile, then heaved, the involuntary movement sending pain through her still sore stomach.
Ben gasped, jolting awake.
She heard the rustle of the blanket and the creak of her bed frame, and then he was next to her, taking the things out of her hands, and easing her into a chair.
She tried to focus on her breathing, the smell of rubbing alcohol burning her nose, as Ben popped the top off of the vile and cleaned it with a tiny white square. He removed the syringe from the packaging and uncapped the needle, before sticking it into the top of the vile, and drawing clear liquid into the barrel.
He knelt down infront of her, and cleaned a patch of skin on her stomach with another white square.
She heaved, crying out as pain tore through her chest.
Ben winced, feeling it too, and pinched her clean skin with one hand, and quickly stuck the needle in with his other, pushing the plunger down with his thumb.
She watched him stand, and grab a small bandage, kneeling back down to sooth it over the drop of blood that oozed out of the injection site.
"How do you know how to do that?" She asked and he looked up at her.
"Do you really think I would have stepped out of that infirmary not knowing how to take care of you?" He bent down and kissed the bandage, then stood up to clean the table off, capping the needle before he threw it away.
She realized then that they were both still nude, and she studied the scars that criss-crossed down his arms, and the blue tinted puckered scar on his abdomen.
She watched how the muscles moved under his skin as he threw the rest of the trash away and became painfully aware of her own naked body, the considerable amount of weight she'd lost and the fact that she wasn't wearing her sleeves, exposing the slave markings from when she was bought, paid for, and every cent she'd paid back for her freedom over the course of her life.
She pulled her legs up to her chest, folding her arms behind them to hide their ugliness.
Ben straightened, and cast her a blazing look.
She cursed herself, realizing she'd left her shields down, and felt heat flood her cheeks as she blushed.
He knelt down in front of her, his expression reverential. "Even now, you doubt how much I love you."
"No." Rey denied, her eyesbrows rising. "I know."
He studied her, looking at her as if he'd found something miraculous that he never believed existed, wonder and awe mixed with disbelief.
"Look." He instructed her, and lowered his shields.
She obeyed, at first only seeing darkness; thick, black smoke swirling everywhere she looked, and then, she saw herself on Takodana, her light as bright as a sun. Blinding, brilliant, seeping into his soul, something he thought long dead.
And how he'd fought it. Fought the call of the light, of her.
He'd thought that killing his father would erase her imprint on him, cast him back into the chilling nothing of his darkness.
She felt a callused hand caress her face, tears welling in her own eyes as she stared at Han, his dying mind shouting his forgiveness into her head as he fell from the bridge.
The deed that Ben had been so sure would rescue him from the turmoil of the constant war within him, split him in two and he was left with the realization of what he'd done, the soul-searing anguish stealing his breath away.
She saw herself again, like a beacon of hope in the inky abyss he'd flung himself into, and the truth that he'd been fighting since he first saw her screamed at him so loudly he was sure she could hear it.
She's mine.
He'd fought her until she cleaved him nearly in half, the wound across his face matching what he'd done to his spirit and Rey gasped, tears streaming down her face.
"There's more." He urged, taking her hand, and holding it in his.
She went back in and she heard his voice. "You have no place in this story, you're nothing." But, you're everything to me, his gods-damned pride wouldn't let him say.
He'd begged her to be his queen, and instead of taking his gloved hand, she reached out for his grandfather's lightsaber.
He'd thrown everything in him into trying to pry it from her grasp, knowing that if she had it, and left him there, she'd be his enemy and he'd never be able to fight her. He'd never be able to raise a hand to her, and if she had that lightsaber, he might as well fall to his knees and beg her to end what was left of him with it.
The final lie that Snoke told him, that he was the one that bridged their minds, withered and died with his slain master when he looked up in the control room on Crait and saw her.
He'd vowed on his broken spirit and ruined heart that he'd stay away from her, that she'd earned happiness.
And, that she'd never find it with a monster.
The Force still called him to her, still showed her to him. He took it as penance, the constant reminder of her, eventually showing her who he really was whenever he would see her. Baring his scars , his insecurities, all of his faults, knowing she'd be repulsed.
The more darkness he threw at her, the more she soothed with her light. Until he stopped fighting the Bond that was obviously between them, because he didn't want to anymore.
And, he'd taken her up on her offer to meet face to face, his stomach tied into a ball of nerves as he watched the ramp of the Falcon descend.
Her eyes, the color of warm milk chocolate, met his, and he had time to remind himself to breathe before she was in his arms
It had taken him a moment to realize that she was kissing him, her tongue dancing with his, her hands were in his hair, her legs wrapped around him, and she was grinding her hips against him.
He'd carried her to what had been his room on the Falcon, where she'd been sleeping, his shins hitting the mattress he was about to fall with her on, when he'd pulled away. He explained what the physical act of love would do to them, thinking there was no way that was what she wanted and when she asked if he loved her, he answered too quickly, the word ripping its way out of him, as if on it's own accord.
Yes.
When she said that she loved him, his knees had gone weak, gratitude misting his eyes.
He'd fought her, he'd laid all his terrible deeds at her feet, baring himself, expecting her to run, as everyone else had, but she didn't.
It was more than he could ever dream of, more than he could hope for.
She loved him.
She chose him.
His equal, the most beautiful creature he'd ever dreamed of existing loved him, and when he'd kissed her, it was a silent vow to never forget how privileged he was to have her.
He'd made love to her with the same gentle passion, taking his time to prove to her exactly how treasured she was.
His equal. His lover. His future.
His everything.
And, Maker above, the Bond.
He felt it snap into place, as a piece of him that had always been missing and finally found it's way home.
He could feel her, feel her joy and pain and pleasure and he could hear her every thought as the Bond coursed through them.
After, he was on his back, panting, with her cradled to his chest when she tilted her head back to look at him.
His insecurities threatened to steal that moment from him, filling his head with whispers that she'd regretted it, him, their Bond, the unimaginable gift she'd just given him...
But, she'd smiled at him.
It was the first time he'd seen a smile light up her face.
He might as well have been blind.
His heart sputtered.
His breath caught.
And he fell in love all over again.
Ben hoisted his shields back up, watching two tears slide down Rey's face.
"I'd fly to that miserable sand pit you grew up in and cut down everyone who ever laid a hand on you, if you'd let me." He told her, his eyes burning. "But these," He traced the marks from her wrists to her shoulders. "Are just one thing of the millions that I adore about you."
She put her feet on the floor and leaned forward to kiss him, her arms going around him and pulling him to her, urgently.
He kissed her back, pulling away after a moment. "Food first." He said, standing up and walking to the bed to retrieve his clothes.
Her traitorous stomach growled in agreement.
They dressed, and headed down to the cafeteria, accepting the whispers and open mouthed stares they received.
Ben opted for fruit and toast, and Rey, grabbed a giant muffin and fresh juice.
They made their way back to her room, Rey eating the last of her muffin and asking for a bite of Ben's banana, which he handed over.
"If you're feeling up for it, we should pack." Ben suggested, as they walked into her room.
She looked up at him, a smile creeping across her face.
"Do you want to pack?" Ben asked, and she shook her head, keeping her eyes on him.
He smiled back at her. "Is there something else you'd rather do?" He asked, raising an eye brow and she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his.
He pulled her to him, his arms going around her, and one of his hands traveling down, to grip her ass.
Her arms went around him, dragging her fingernails down his back, grabbing the tail of his tunic and pulling it up, their lips breaking apart long enough to pull it over his head and throw it to the floor.
A knock sounded on her door, and their heads turned toward the sound.
They knocked again before Rey could make it across her room to answer, and when she opened the door, she was taken aback at seeing General Organa staring at her, her face white as death.
"General." Rey said, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice.
"I need to see Ben." Leia said, skipping the greeting. "Now."
Rey looked over her shoulder to see Ben pulling his shirt back on. Something in her voice told Rey that she wasn't a mother coming to see her son, but a General coming to see the Supreme Leader, and she shivered.
"I'll be right back." Ben assured her, before kissing her, and closed the door behind him as he walked out.
Her door opened twenty minutes later, and Ben came in. He pressed his back to the door, closing his eyes as he let his head fall back.
Rey's heart fell into her stomach, seeing his defeated demeanor.
Please don't tell me you have to go back.
Ben sighed, covering his face with his hands and Rey frowned. That's exactly what he needed to tell her.
"What happened?" She asked, her bottom lip trembling.
"Hux attacked a planet in the Outer Rim." He answered, pushing himself away from the door.
"I thought the TIE Fighter was bait so he would attack here." She said.
"And that didn't work." He snapped, looking up at her, agitation written across his features.
He sighed, seeing the look she gave his sharp tone. "I'm sorry." He told her, rubbing his temples with a migraine she felt blooming behind his eyes.
Rey swallowed, pulling her shields up and pushing her own feelings into the corners of her mind. "You have to go." She told him, and he looked up at her.
His face softened, and he went to her, pulling her to his chest. "I'm sorry-"
"Don't." She said, shaking her head. She couldn't be selfish. She couldn't beg him to stay just because she didn't want him to go back. He was Supreme Leader, he had a job to do, and currently, it was stopping his second in command from destroying the galaxy.
She looked up at him, hoping her eyes said to him everything she couldn't. Stay. Please. Stay with me. "Go." She said, simply, and he crushed his mouth to hers, kissing her deeply.
"I love you." She said, against his mouth.
"I know." He breathed, and she fell to her knees sobbing into her hands when the door closed behind him.
oOo
Several hours later, Ben landed in the hanger of The Finalizer, and jumped out of the cockpit, storming furiously toward the Bridge.
"Ah, Supreme Leader." Hux said, and Ben didn't slow his pace and he walked directly to the General and backhanded him hard across the face.
oOo
She'd made sure to take both of her daily doses of medication and she'd eaten, before changing for bed. Rey sighed, turning the covers back, and turned out the light. She hadn't heard from Ben, no news is good news, she reminded herself and climbed into bed. She heard the door of her room open and softly shut.
Ben!
What are you doing here? She asked, happily, her happiness turning into terror when he said I'm not and an unfamiliar hand stroked her cheek in the pitch black.
oOo
What are you doing here? Rey asked through their Bond.
The blood in Ben's veins turned to ice.
I'm not. He told her, his mind barely able to form the words. His hands started to shake.
Rey.
Hux smiled at his horrified expression, blood streaming freely from his broken lip. "Welcome Home."