Chapter 1: The Fateful Mistakes
The sun was setting over the big buildings of Harvard University, home of all the richest and smartest college students in the world. Red and orange light of the sun in October, five days before the Halloween party, cast long shadows like the necks of giraffes, a single lone figure was running fast on the sidewalks. He was going so fast, his shadow couldn't even catch up! It was Sonic the Hedgehog! Blue backpack slung over his shoulder, track shoes glinting in the golden light of the sun. Airpods lodged tight in his ears, blasting Live and Learn, Sonic ran and ran, because he was the fastest. Having got into the amazing Harvard University with his best friends thanks to his speed letting him get a full scholarship with the track team, Sonic now lives in the on campus apartments with Tail, his bestest friend, Amy, his girlest friend, and Knuckles, his old rival turned buddy. Tails got in because he was the smartest, and made so many inventions the school board had t0 let him in. Amy got in thanks to her step dad paying a lot of money, because she wasn't the smartest or fastest. Knuckles got in thanks to being a football player and getting a full scholarship, just like his friend and rival, Sonic hedgehog, who got in by running fast, because he is the fastest. Sonic had just finished his last class of the day, Psychology 101, and was ready to have some dinner with his friends. After running up all of the stairs up to their third floor apartment, Sonic slammed open the door and saw his friend, Knuckles, standing there, football jersey number 69 on his chest.
"Hey there K-nucks, how was the big game?"
"Not bad speedster, not bad. We won the game with the ball in the other court. I quartered many backs and scored the touchdown."
"Wow! Just as I'd expect from my old rival. You really are the reddest, baddest nigga in town. What're you up to anyway?"
The echidna had a pot filled with bubbling water over the stove, a wooden spoon sticking jauntily out of it.
"Spaghetti," said Knuckles with a grin. "PP."
Sonic did a dance move. "Has Amy washed her panties yet?"
Knuckles brought out the tomatoes for the tomato sauce, and a large knife to cut them up with. "Yeah, I think they're in the dryer now. Gonna steal them again you rascal?"
"You KNOW it." Screamed Sonic, moonwalking fast over to the laundry room and pulling Amy's pink panties out of the dryer. After a quick sniff, he ran to his room and stashed away the clean underwear. "I prefer them ripe." Sonic thought to himself, before rejoining Knuckles in the kitchen, the smell of tomatoes and hot water and Knuckles filling the moist air. Knuckles was just finishing up the tomatoes as Sonic camed back into the room.
"So, I hear you have a date with Rogue tomorrow at 5:35 AM, huh Big Red?" The Blue Blur asks with a knowing smirk and slanty sex eyes.
"Yeah, I asked her out because she is a cheerleader and I won the gaaaaaAAAAAAYYYY-!" But Knuckled didnt finish what he was starting to saying, because he tripped over Tails's Lego Star Wars Death Star set, and felled onto his knife, instantly piercing his heart and dying of shock and lack of heartbeat. Blood, red like him, pooled instantly over the Death Star, drowning Darth Vader, and almost touching Sonic's track shoes.
"Holy shit, what the fuck, holy fucking shit, my shoes! Also Knuckles, damn." Sonic had saucer eyes as his mouth opened wider than a cookie jar held by several orphan children who had never had momma's Snickerdoodle specialty cookies before. Sonic stared down at the red Thunder's corpse. Sonic looked on for a moment, before quickly picking up Tails's full constructed Lego Star Wars Death Star set. "W-woah there buddy, d-don't stain Tails's Lego set. You can't stain the blocks. Don't stain the blocks." Sonic waited for Knuckles to get up, but he just planked and would not stop being dead. "Hey, buddy, get up. Come on, you'll be late for your date in five minutes." But only the sounds of silence greeted the Hog as his friend lay in the pool of his own Kool-aid color. Sonic pulled the knife out of his friend's heart area, gloved hand shaking like his Mom's magic wand of happiness in slow realization.
Suddenly, a door opened across the room of living (which is ironic because Knuckles is not living.) Amy Rose was standing there, pantyless and surprised with a look of horror on her squeaky girl face.
"Sonic, what the fuck is going on, why are you wearing Gay Pods, is that Knuckles? WHy is he surrounded by… Kool-aid… Oh god… OH fuck...!"
Sonic looked down at the deadman and made a realization. She saw his knife. SHe saw his hand. She saw the blood on the knife. She must think Sonic had slain his dumbass comic relief!
"Wait, Amy, it's not what it looks like! Don't call the fucking fuzz! NOOOOO!" She had moved towards her pocket phone, but Sonic was far too fast for her number dialing hand. Before she could even get the 9 out, Sonic had plunged the Blade in the space between her left and right boobs. She stared into his Eye, and he stared at her tits. He was a ghast at what he had done, but it was the only option left to him now after what she had used her eyes to seen and misunderstood with her dumb female brain.
"Oops," Said Sonic, as she fell like a coconut from the tree is Hawaii probably and hit the ground very hard just like the coconut hitting an eggman's vulnerable skull. He stared at what he done, but then heard the other door opens. It was… Tails!
The Foxy Fox watched sonic turn around, bloody streams of splooshy blood all over his best friend. "What is this Sonic, What is going on? I was doing my sciences when Amy screamed? Are you hurt?" But then he saw the truth before his little boy eyes. Knuckles and Amy were in the planking position on the blood ground, and he felt for the first time fear. BUt… it was sexy fear, a loyal kind born from sexy feelings for his best friend, SOnic.
"I can help you Sonic, I-I-I can help you don't get any ideas about kn-kn-knifing me." ejaculated Tails. "Please… Brother friend… Lover…." Butt sonic knew he could not leave any loose ends, even if tails had too ends that could fly.
"I'm so sorry, but nobody can be allowed to view." Sonic moved at his super Sonic sound barrier braking speed and Stabbed his Tails friend in the guts.
"N-No…. I forgive you, Sonic…" Tails had a boner and a tear falling down his furry blushing almost dead face. Sonic also had a big watery tear, for his deads friends. Tails falls to the ground, not unlike the same coconut from before but this time yellow, erect and more tinier. Sonic stood amidst his dead friends, and knew what he must do to save himself.
Sonic zoom ranned into Tail's science experiment room, eyes rotating and looking fast for some paper and wood with lead in it. He found it and sat on Tail's gamer throne and began to think like his previously alive homo friend as he started to write a note of self inflicted death.
"I, Tails the Fox, AKA Miles "Tails the Fox" Prower Hedgehog, am going to commit the double murder and die. I always hated the Red man because of his race and his sex advenutres which i got none of. I was always jealous of Amy Rose because she was closer to Sonic and he never stole my panties the way he stole hers. Thus, I will stab Knuckles with this tomato slicer and dicer and then rid of AMy who would did seen it all. Now I will jump myself off this building and end my existence. I love you SOnic and mom, plz forgive. Keep my dumb science toys safe.
I wanna die high.
Tails, signing off."
Perfect, thought Sonic, as he placed the paper on Tails's's bed next to his favorite Sonic Figma and teddy hedgehog. Then, he grabbed his old friend Tails by the tails and scooted him over to his window, opening it with his strong hand. He dropped his friend out like a sack of potatoes that were not good enough to eat anymore due to them being covered in juice from the juice maker next door. As he hears the plop of Tails body on the cement of Harvard university sidewalk, Sonic whispered "Gotta go fast." Sonic yawned and scuttled back to his room to sleep and have Sonic speedy dreams, knowing his life had changed for the ever.
End of Chapter 1