Ginny came to fetch him a short time later. In her absence, he had lavished praise and attention on Buckbeak, who had stayed close to his side and watched over him as he had his breakdown last night. Harry knew Sirius had been Buckbeak's only companion for a time and it felt like the creature had been grieving with him. Both releasing all that pent up sadness and feeling like he was not alone in it had helped him greatly, and Harry was determined not to forget that; he intended to keep the creature company often. It was comforting in a strange way that was second only to being in Ginny's presence.
Harry felt he had very quickly adjusted to the fact that he was physically attracted to Ginny. In fact, now that he had seen what was hidden beneath her robes when they had been at school, he would have to say that he'd be more concerned if he wasn't sexually attracted to her. He still felt bad for having overlooked it until now and his seeming inability to keep his eyes off her, but his newest revelation helped alleviate the guilt. As the day passed, he had come to realize he was not just attracted to her physically, but flat out attracted to her all around.
He had been worried and uncomfortable after wanking to thoughts of her in the shower. After that finish, there had been no way for him to deny it had been her in the fantasy. Embarrassed and ashamed, he had panicked over how he was going to avoid her. She had said she was heading down to the kitchen to help her mother, so he headed for Buckbeak hoping to buy time in order to sort himself out. Instead, he had walked right into her, almost knocking her over.
Except, she hadn't reacted at all - not when he had to reach out and prevent her from falling over, nor when he repeatedly asked her what was wrong. The panic he felt taking in her vacant and pale expression far overshadowed his negative feelings regarding his shower activities. All that mattered then was figuring out what had happened to her and doing whatever he could to fix it.
There had been more embarrassment in the subsequent conversation, but it enabled him to all but forget his earlier issue. How could he focus on that when he was marveling at the strength of Ginny's character? She was incredible.
He couldn't begin to fathom the decision she had been asked to make. Now that he knew how he had gotten his magic, that they provided a direct link to his parents, he couldn't imagine giving up his father's magic for anything. Of course, he would if it came to it, but the prophecy and Voldemort's defeat lay solely on his shoulders and he didn't have the luxury of being selfish. Ginny didn't have the fate of the wizarding world bearing down on her, yet she was willing to give up a significant part of her magical heritage to fight the good fight.
Harry didn't know how he possibly could have been unaware of the bravery and selflessness she possessed. It wasn't just the big things, either. As funny as the story about Fleur had been to Harry - she had been dismissive at first, but had treated him much better by the end of the tournament - it was glaringly obvious to him that Ginny was still rather upset about the whole thing. Despite this, she had been willing to accept how her brother felt and promised to play nice with a woman she clearly did not want anything to do with. He admired that quiet selflessness too.
The more time he spent with her, the more he admired her, he was finding. It was a relief, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it made him feel less like a cad when he stared at her. Moments like now, for instance.
At present, he was watching her backside sway pleasantly as she led him down to the kitchen. He didn't feel nearly as guilty about it as he would have earlier, because he had stared at her face and the rest of her just as intently before she had turned around. In fact, he had been looking at her so intently he had surprised even himself by how much he had noticed.
There was a slight pinkness to her face that he couldn't quite describe; her eyes and nose weren't the swollen red of a thorough cry, but it looked like she might have been on the verge earlier. He wondered, at first, if that meant things had gone poorly with her mother but didn't have a chance to ask before she was beckoning him from the hall. It was there that he really observed the difference.
Harry had noted that every time she left the privacy of the study, her demeanor shifted so that she looked for all the world to see as if she were perfectly composed. When they left this time her shoulders were still back, but the posture lacked its former stiffness. He hadn't recognized the effort she had been putting into the pose until it was gone. There was an easiness to her now, from the tilt of her head to the way she bounced on the balls of her feet with each step, that made him feel relief. Maybe that means it went well.
The walk down to the kitchen had passed in silence, Harry having been lost in thought. He only became aware of his surroundings again when Ginny stopped suddenly on the first floor, pulling him into the entrance hall. There was a new nervousness to her mannerisms that had him feeling cautious, so he performed a cursory examination of the hall looking for any signs that something was amiss.
He quickly realized what was missing; the portrait of Sirius's horrible mother was gone, nothing but a damaged section of the hideous wallpaper remaining. He gaped at it.
Ginny cleared her throat and he turned his attention to her silently. She looked rather nervous, her hands behind her back as she looked between the wall and him.
"I wanted to talk to you about this before we head down there, as I'm sure someone will ask." She looked at the floor. "I talked to Kreacher earlier… I'd been thinking about what you said - about what Dumbledore said about Sirius and Kreacher - and I just didn't want to repeat his mistakes." She sighed heavily and bit her lip, looking conflicted.
Harry wished she wouldn't. He didn't want to talk about this, didn't want to think about any of it, and especially didn't want to deal with it when it was making her upset - she had seemed so carefree just moments ago.
Hoping to be able to just move on, he said, "Gin, it's fine. Whatever you did…"
She shook her head in the negative, determined to have the conversation it seemed. He wanted to beg her not to but kept quiet. Maybe she'll feel better once it's out.
"I was nice to him. I apologized," she sounded a strange mixture of disgust, surprise, and sadness. Harry didn't much like the thought either. "I - he did this horrible thing and I hate him for it, but can he really be blamed? This is all he knows. He's never been allowed to think any other way, and Sirius hated him." He knew she was right, but hated to admit it. The pained look on her face made him feel a little better though, because he knew she wasn't saying these things lightly. "I did what needed to be done to make sure nothing like that ever happens again… but he was just so sad and pathetic, honestly, that I told him he could have the portrait for himself if he could get it off. Clearly, he succeeded."
Skirting the emotional aspect of it all, Harry asked, "How are you so sure? Before… well, we never thought Kreacher would or could do that. How do you know it's safe now?"
"I gave him very clear orders that he shouldn't be able to work around." Her face shifted to something like amazement. "Honestly, I'm not sure anymore that he would even try to find a loophole even if he could. He actually called me Mistress Ginevra. He's never used my name before."
Harry nodded. He couldn't remember the elf ever having called Sirius by his name either. It was a good sign, at least. While Harry would never consider anything foolproof anymore, he also chose to trust Ginny's judgment if she believed that she had been comprehensive in her orders.
She gave him a long searching look, apprehension in her eyes, before nodding and heading in the direction of the kitchen. He wanted to stop her and say something reassuring, but his mind couldn't conjure anything decent at the moment. It was a mass of conflicted thoughts and feelings regarding his godfather and the rotten old elf.
As he watched her walk, Harry wished they could go back to before the heaviness of discussing Kreacher and Sirius. He could tell by the way she was moving, stiff and measured, that her nerves had returned in force now. Given the way she slowed as she came to the bottom of the stairs leading to the kitchen, he had a decent guess that it wasn't just because of the conversation they had just had.
He stopped her outside the door and asked quietly, "You okay?"
She paused and nodded, closing her eyes as she inhaled and exhaled once deeply. Harry watched curiously as she composed herself; the underlying tension in her body was still there, but she purposefully loosened her shoulders and smoothed the worry away from her expression.
"I'm good. Let's go!" She smiled at him, bright but fake. He still probably would've been fooled if he hadn't seen the transformation for himself.
Just before they opened the door, Mrs. Weasley's stern tones reached his ears. They appeared to have caught the tail-end of her lecturing the occupants of the kitchen, "...and not a single one of you will say anything to them about the betrothal. Is that understood?"
He heard the disgruntled confirmations of Ron, Hermione, and the twins. The boys sounded as if someone had just stolen their new toy, but relented quickly. Surprisingly, it was Hermione who put up the most fight. "But I did all sorts of research today. Ginny asked -", she made her case, but her request was shot down by Mrs. Weasley, who insisted that their family dinner would not be clouded by such discussion and that it could wait. "Oh, well, I suppose we can talk after dinner…" Hermione trailed off, sounding thoroughly disappointed.
Ginny shook with silent laughter beside him, her face split into a wide, carefree smile that was genuine this time. His heart-rate spiked at sight, but he smiled back, quite relieved himself that he wouldn't have to deal with interrogations or teasing of any kind.
An idea hit. "Hey, how many times do you think we can goad the twins before they break your mother's edict and make a comment?"
Her eyes danced. "It depends on what she said before we started listening, but I bet I can get more in than you can."
He chuckled at her competitiveness and shook his head. "No bet. You grew up learning from the twins - I wouldn't stand a chance."
She laughed fully, tossing her head back and sending a wave her flowery scent in his direction. It smelled so good that he almost closed his eyes, but then he would have missed the way the shades of red in her hair shifted as she vibrated with laughter. Still chuckling, she pushed the door open and led him into the kitchen where the others were waiting.
The occupants of the kitchen all stared at the sound of Ginny's mirth. She hardly batted an eye, giving them all a casual greeting before making her way over to greet her father, who was still wearing his traveling cloak and had apparently just arrived back from the Ministry. Harry blushed slightly, realizing that he was smiling widely as well and avoided the eyes of his best friends as he followed Ginny in greeting the new arrivals.
When Ginny settled into the seat beside George, he sat down on her other side. She sent him a questioning look because his placement had left the table unbalanced, with the twins, Ginny and him on one side and only Ron and Hermione on the other, with her parents at the head. He looked at the twins - who already looked like they desperately wanted to comment - pointedly and winked at her. She smiled broadly in return. His friends caught the gesture as well, Ron doing his best to contain his smile while Hermione rolled her eyes in exasperation. It wasn't why he truly wanted to sit with her, but it was a good excuse.
Dinner passed interestingly... well, dinner passed as normally as a Weasley dinner could. Ginny was right, in that the disappearance of Walburga Black's portrait was brought up. The topic passed rather quickly, but Harry was still grateful that Ginny had given him an advanced warning and that he was able to listen to the discussion about Kreacher without showing any emotion. There had been a slight admonishment from Hermione that caused Ginny to calmly defend her treatment of Kreacher - Harry spoke up in her support and the conversation was dropped. For the most part, the conversation was dominated by small talk, Quidditch, and compliments on the dinner spread.
It wasn't dinner that was interesting - it was that Ginny was interesting. He spent most of the time watching her, evaluating everything she did through newly opened eyes. The more he did, the more he noticed it.
She seemed to lie a lot and happened to be excellent at it. She did it with such ease that he never would have caught most of the lies she told if he didn't have factual evidence to the contrary.
What surprised Harry though, was how often she lied for the benefit of others. She lied to her mother when asked if she had slept well by smiling cheerfully and saying she had (even though Harry knew she hadn't) because she knew her mother would fret otherwise. She lied to Ron when asked if she knew what had destroyed his new slippers by saying she had seen some mice recently (even though she and Harry had caught Crookshanks in his room just before Neville arrived earlier) because she didn't want him and Hermione to fight. Sometimes she lied for the fun of it, but that was almost for the sole purpose of goading the twins for their competition.
Beyond those instances, however, she was really rather honest. She never seemed to outright lie to those she trusted. As far as he could tell, she had been completely honest with Bill earlier, going so far as to speak poorly of his new fiancee to his face. She had even given her father an unguarded look and shrug when he quietly asked if she alright when she greeted him - his best guess was that she knew her father could handle the truth better than her mother.
And I thought she always let people know what was on her mind, Harry thought to himself as he remembered their fight last Christmas. While he had been correct that she always had something to say, he had come to realize more and more that she rarely showed people anything other than what she wanted them to see. It was a new experience for Harry to see her this way, mostly because he had never fallen into the latter category. It suddenly occurred to him that maybe he still didn't.
The thought didn't sit well. It was probably true though - Neville had said she played things close to the chest. It was clear this was the case even with her family.
Harry couldn't quite understand her distance from them as he looked around the table and observed her trueborn and his makeshift family; it was a warm and loving picture they created- the way they goaded each other, smiled, laughed, and even yelled at each other without hate. He was grateful that he could be part of moments like these, but right now it made him long for Sirius more than ever. These people - this family - included him, but he was still somehow removed. He felt as if he was a part of their life because he was a part of Ron's - and Mrs. Weasley's habit of picking up strays - but Sirius had been just his.
Maybe it was that Sirius had needed him, something he had never really felt before. Sure, the Dursleys had benefited from his slave labor, but Petunia could have easily done it all herself had he not been there. The Weasley's were much the same; while they enjoyed his company and were happy to include him, he was an extra that they could be just as happy with or without. He viewed them as an indivisible unit that wasn't entirely whole when one of their members was missing, as evidenced by the constant tension Percy's absence had created.
The feeling of a hand on his arm - he would have known it was Ginny's even with his eyes closed, simply because her touch was comforting instead of startling - drew him from his melancholy thoughts. Her eyes were concerned, but she didn't voice her concerns over his distraction.
She leaned in a bit, enough for him to feel her breath as she spoke, and said lowly, "I think it might be best for us to hang around here for a bit, while everyone is forbidden from discussing the hippogriff in the room," her eyes danced mischievously at the thought of being able to avoid their friends' and family's questioning without being accused of avoiding everyone. "But I'll no doubt end up in Sirius's room tonight if you'd like to join me in going through some things."
There was a small part of his brain - the part that was linked directly to his dick, he decided - that jumped to all sorts of conclusions that she most definitely did not mean at the combination of that light in her eyes and the hushed words she said, but it was overshadowed by the larger part that was grateful and relieved by her plan. He could be around everyone without facing interrogation and have time to feel close to Sirius tonight in relative privacy.
He smiled gratefully and whispered, "Thank you."
She winked again and that small part of his brain got carried away at the image. He forced himself to laugh instead of blush and, remembering what Sirius had said, asked her, "How did you get so sly?"
She grinned widely and went to reply, but a crumpled napkin hit the side of her face. Harry let out a laugh at her insulted expression.
"Yeah, Ginny. How'd you turn out to be such a little sneak?" Fred asked, having been the one to throw the napkin. She threw it back.
"Imperturbing the door like that," George continued, shaking his head.
"Just when it was getting good too!" Fred said indignantly.
"Didn't get to hear anything," George said feigning sadness.
"And damaging our goods to boot!" Fred carried on with a dramatic flourish.
"Twice, no less!" George finished.
She lifted her nose in the air dramatically, "Well, it serves you right. You should've learned after the first time." She glared at them theatrically, "Plus, it was none of your business. Shame on you for eavesdropping in the first place."
The twins rolled their eyes in unison. George shoved her shoulder, knocking her into Harry who righted her. "Some sister you are, impeding our spying."
"Yeah," Fred said after swallowing a massive bite of food. "You know Mum never remembers to charm the door when she's upset."
"Oh, I know," she said smugly. "Why do you think I always picked a fight with her before meetings?"
"Now, that's a sister we can be proud of," George clapped her on the back.
"Here, here," Fred replied raising his drink to her.
Harry leaned past her and clinked his glass of pumpkin juice with the twins'. George raised his brow, but Fred nodded approvingly, "Smart man, Potter, bowing down to your betrothed's prowess." Ginny met his eyes in amusement.
"Fred!" Mrs. Weasley, who had just stood to gather the pudding, exclaimed. "I warned-" Her admonition was cut short by the arrival of Percy's owl Hermes. All conversation died as the owl flew directly to Ginny. She quickly and efficiently removed the letter while Harry provided it with some leftover bits of chicken as a reward.
Ginny nodded her thanks distractedly and began reading immediately. Harry leaned over to get a better look and was pleasantly surprised when she immediately angled the paper to allow him to read over her shoulder, her eyes never leaving the page. While Percy's impeccable penmanship was clear, the content was intentionally vague.
My dear Ginevra,
I'm sorry this response is late, as I imagine you've already begun dinner. Unfortunately, I will be unable to accept Father's request that I join you tonight. Minister Fudge has sent me to Gringotts on behalf of one of his benefactors regarding a petition they would like to make for a recently deceased member of their extended family with no heirs. The particular goblin I'm dealing with tonight is in a rather black mood and it seems likely I will not be able to provide the Minister with any information until tomorrow morning. Despite the delay, I expect the matter will be handled within a day from when the Minister receives the news, as Cornelius has been having a rather frantic week and will likely want a matter such as this resolved as quickly as possible.
Please forgive me for my ramblings. It is so good to have reconnected with a member of the family that I have forgotten myself. I had forgotten for a time just how lucky we are to have been born into such an understanding and forgiving family - not many can say that their family will love them no matter where their life leads them.
You, dear sister, in particular, have the ability to go far, and I look forward to seeing the great things you will no doubt accomplish. Do not forget, however, that your time to buckle down and accept responsibility is fast approaching, and you must act quickly if you hope to do so. Bill has become quite successful in his own field, I have heard, and would be an excellent person to talk to regarding the direction in which you should take your future.
With love,
Percy I. Weasley
Junior Assistant to the Minister of Magic
"That's odd," he murmured, just for her to hear. She turned to look at him, eyes questioning. "It's obvious he's talking about Sirius's will. Given that Bellatrix is wanted, it's probably Narcissa Malfoy that has made the bid for the Black family inheritance and that Percy found out that it could go to you instead. The only thing I don't understand is why is it so veiled?"
Her lips were slightly turned down at the corners, a worried crease between her brows. "This reads like the letters we would send from Hogwarts when Umbridge was screening our mail. His earlier letter was rather basic as well, though at the time I thought it was because he was begrudgingly helping. Now I think he's being watched, or he believes it's a possibility at least." She sighed, shoulders slightly slumped. "Though he did manage to effectively give me a warning without giving anything away to a potential spy. If they didn't already know, I doubt anyone would put it together."
"Oi! Stop whispering!" Ron ordered, sounding irritated. "We all want to know. What's Pompous Perfect Percy the Prefect want now? Still trying to warn us off Harry?" The last bit was spit out bitterly.
Ginny straightened out. "I actually reached out to Percy last night, asking for his help in preventing news of the betrothal from getting out. He accepted." Fred, George, and Ron were all looking at her like she was insane while Mrs. Weasley and Hermione beamed. Mr. Weasley had a rather guarded look on his face as if he feared to dare to hope that it could be true.
She focused on her father, sensing his apprehension. "The letter," she gestured to where Ron and Hermione were now sitting shoulder-to-shoulder reading, "is a veiled warning, indicating that Narcissa Malfoy is trying to seize the Black family inheritance. It looks like Fudge is going to grant it, though why he would do her any favors right now when her husband and sister are known Death Eaters is beyond me."
Her father nodded. "It actually does make sense. Fudge will likely be out of office within a fortnight and will lose his current level of protection. With the true loyalties of Narcissa's husband and sister exposed, he is more than likely terrified of making an enemy out of her."
Harry guessed that's what Percy's comment about the Minister's current troubles and the urgency with which he would handle the matter had been about. Based on everything he knew about Fudge, it wasn't surprising that the man would take the coward's way out. The scowl on Ginny's face said she agreed.
The letter was passed to the Weasley parents next. Mrs. Weasley's brow furrowed while Mr. Weasley frowned. "I haven't attempted to speak to Percy for quite some time…"
Ginny sighed. "I figured as much. I'm guessing it was an excuse for writing. Given the rest of the letter, it seems he has reason to believe he's being watched."
Mrs. Weasley's face was lined with worry as she reread the text before turning to her husband. In a small voice, she asked, "Do you think he's in trouble, Arthur?"
Mr. Weasley had been rereading as well but shook his head negatively. He passed the letter on to the twins before replying pensively, "Not necessarily. I think he knows better than anyone the lengths the Ministry will go to and is being cautious. There is nothing here to signal that he needs help. It's possible he's just taking care to protect Ginny's secrets."
"So Narcissa Malfoy is trying to take control of the Black family assets? How can she even do that? Kreacher has been following Ginny's orders since we got here, so clearly the will Sirius left is valid," Fred said, looking up from the letter he and George were reading.
"Can the Ministry override it?" George tacked on.
Ginny piped up, "I don't believe the Ministry is aware that the will exists at all. I didn't tell Percy either. It seems Gringotts is aware of it and passed the knowledge on to him." She appeared perfectly composed, but Harry noticed the little tells that he hadn't known to look for before. The tenseness had returned and he could see that she was playing with her fingers below the table. Despite the fact that it wasn't about him, his nerves grew sympathetically, recognizing where the conversation was headed.
"I believe that is correct," Mr. Weasley added. He continued in a formal tone, "The Ministry isn't capable of overriding the designated heir if Gringotts has accepted the will as valid, as it appears they have, but there are certain customs that must be conformed to in order for the transition to be completed. If the inheriting party fails to do so, then the Ministry may designate another party as the recipient of the estate, so long as they are the closest blood relative petitioning for it." His back was straight, but there was a nervousness about him as he looked at Ginny, almost in apology.
The Weasley patriarch's overly technical explanation was nearly lost on Harry, who actually knew what the man was saying without words, so it was no surprise that Ron, Hermione and the twins all looked confused.
Ron said, "Er, what?"
"I didn't inherit everything automatically. Receiving the full Black inheritance requires giving up the Weasley family magic and becoming a Black. What Dad is saying is that if I don't, then the ministry can declare Mrs. Malfoy the heir," Ginny explained.
Ron scoffed. "So that's what all his talk about your 'ability to go far' was about. Of course, Percy thinks you should do it." He shook his head in disbelief. "He'd sacrifice his family in a heartbeat for that kind of power."
Ginny shot her brother a dirty look. "A year ago, I might have agreed with you, but he just sent me a warning when he didn't have to. If he is being watched, he's risking a lot. I think that's earned him a little leniency."
Hermione said, "She's right, you know. It could put his whole career in jeopardy by delaying this information, and that's not something I ever thought we'd see. I think he's trying to make amends, with all that talk about forgiveness and being grateful for the family."
"He's still encouraging her to leave the family," Ron argued.
Knowing that the disapproving tone Ron had taken meant that he would surely say something negative without thinking and hurt Ginny, Harry spoke up. Strongly, but calm, he asked, "What's the alternative, Ron? Would you see the Malfoys control the Wizengamot proper?" Ron looked at him in shock. He felt some embarrassment now that the attention was on him, but he carried on in Ginny's defense, "Ginny wouldn't pull a Percy," he immediately felt bad for phrasing it like that in front of the Weasley parents but continued, "and make a decision like this based on ambition. She's brave and strong and loyal. She'll do what is right, not what is easy."
Harry would have sworn he felt the air shift as Ginny steeled herself and said plainly, "Harry's right. I don't want to, but I've thought about it and am going to do it. There is no other agreeable alternative."
Mrs. Weasley looked at her with a sad sort of approval. "As I told your sister, your father and I were aware of this and approve of her decision. As Lady Black, she will be safe from many of the darker families that have long-standing alliances with the Black family."
No one spoke for a time. To Harry, it seemed like a very long time as his body tensed in response to Ginny's nerves. Movement spotted in his periphery had him looking down- Ginny was picking furiously at her fingernails and one of them had started to bleed. He reached out and took her hand, encasing it in his before she could do any more damage to herself. She cast him a fleeting look full of surprise before schooling her features and placing her other hand over the top of his, giving it a squeeze.
Fred broke the silence first. It was not a good thing in Harry's opinion, as Ginny's hand tightened further around his at the sound. "I'm sorry, but am I the only person who has a problem with this?" He asked, looking around the table searchingly.
"No. I'm with you brother." George backed him up.
"She is going to become Lady Black?" he said dubiously. The lightness that Harry had been so happy to see in Ginny since dinner had dissipated when the reason for Percy's warning had been revealed, and now tenseness had settled back in Ginny's shoulders; he just barely suppressed the mad urge to rub her back until it was gone.
Harry hated both it and Fred for making it worse. He would never want to be at odds with any of the Weasley's, but if her brothers made this harder on her, he wouldn't take it lying down; he fully intended to support her.
"Preposterous!" George exclaimed. Beside him, Ginny's shoulders relaxed and her hand loosened, causing him to look at her in confusion. She was actually grinning at the twins, her eyes sparkling.
"I refuse to accept," Fred said resolutely.
"Seconded!" George proclaimed, his fist smacking the table like a gavel. His own grin started to break out when he met his sister's amused gaze. The icy anxiety that had been building in Harry's chest dissipated.
"You'll always be Ickle Gin-Gin to us!" They cried in unison. All three burst out laughing together, tears shimmering in Ginny's eyes. He had never before seen them call her "Gin-Gin" without her threatening to hex them, but this situation seemed to have changed that as the smile she now wore was so wide that it probably hurt her cheeks. She let go of Harry's hand and threw her arms around George, blowing Fred a kiss over his twin's shoulder.
Molly gave them an exasperated look, but there was relief in her eyes as well. The rest of the table joined in the merriment lightly. Harry laughed a bit himself, mostly in relief. Despite their outlandish ways, the twins had broken the moment and supported their sister. He had no rational reason for it, but he was grateful on her behalf.
Announcing the topic closed for now, Mrs. Weasley distributed the pudding and conversation returned to lighter topics. Harry followed Ginny's suggestion and hung around well after the meal had finished, using the opportunity to peacefully spend some time with his friends. He knew it was still safe under Mrs. Weasley's watchful eye as she cleaned up the remains of dinner and started on breakfast preparations; Harry suspected she lingered intentionally to keep an eye on her sons. Hermione excused herself to head to the library for more research shortly after they had finished, and Harry felt a bit bad for wanting to avoid her after seeing how dedicated she was to the task. Harry agreed to a game of Wizard's chess with Ron while Ginny brainstormed ideas for the twin's shop beside them - he shouldn't have been surprised that she was able to give the twins some ideas on how to work out the kinks on several items they were having trouble developing.
Eventually, though, Mrs. Weasley finished all her tasks and was ready to follow Mr. Weasley to bed - the man had already excused himself to have some downtime after work - and Harry grew a bit worried about the conversation he knew was to follow. He tried to think of a quick out that wouldn't include Ron or the twins following but was coming up blank. It was Ginny who offered him the solution.
"I should probably write to Bill and let him know I'll be at Gringotts tomorrow. Harry, do you think I could borrow Hedwig?" She voiced the question at a normal volume, quite unlike the quiet asides she'd been speaking to him in all night, so he figured she must have felt the same way he did.
"Sure," he agreed calmly, for there was nothing to gain by demonstrating to the Weasley brothers how eager he was to escape. "She's probably sleeping though, and she doesn't like being woken, so I'll get her for you." He ignored the funny look Ron gave him.
"Great." She turned to her brothers, bidding Fred and George farewell with an extra-large smile and indicating to Ron that she would see him in the morning, leaving without waiting for Harry. He wondered if he could get away with doing the same, but simply nodded at Ron and said his own farewell to the twins before making a quick escape.
Assuming she actually did need Hedwig, he fetched his owl before making his way to the study, knowing she'd be there. Sure enough, she was just signing her name on a scroll of parchment to Bill. When she looked up and smiled, he was surprised to see how exhausted she suddenly looked. Were the lights in the kitchen really so low that couldn't see how bad the bags under her eyes were? It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her how she could put on such an effective show when she was feeling this way, but she spoke first.
Looking back down at her fingers as they traced the roll of parchment, she asked quietly, "What's one of our family dinners like for you?"
His brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"Well," she began, looking up at him for only a brief moment before dropping her eyes again, "You're as close as you can get to being a Weasley without actually being a blood relative. Tomorrow… I will be too. So, I'm just wondering, what's it like?"
Harry thought of how he had felt earlier at dinner - included but separate. She's scared, he thought, I'm not about to tell her that. It wasn't the same thing though. Her name would be different - and her magic, the cynic in him said - but she was born into that family, had grown up with them, and was firmly ensconced in the web of love they had between them all.
Gently, he said, "It's not the same, Gin," because he had no intention of lying to her. "No matter what, you'll always be a member of the family. That won't change."
She shook her head in denial.
He didn't quite understand her. She kept them all at a slight distance but seemed terrified of losing her status with them. Since they were alone, he voiced the question.
Her brown eyes latched onto his, looking large in her small face. Instead of answering the question, she said sounding slightly desperate, "We can feel each other - did you know that? It's nothing major… just an awareness. We just know that each other are out there, really. It - I'm the youngest. That feeling of my brothers has been there my whole life... and I have no idea what to expect when it's gone."
Harry considered that in slight awe as she busied herself attaching the letter to Hedwig and sending her off. He'd always been on his own. Would he have felt less isolated and scared growing up if he was able to feel that connection with someone else? Without a doubt, he knew he would. He almost felt jealous, until he remembered she would be losing that. He missed it without ever having had it, and she was practically being forced to give it up - something that had been an intricate part of her since she was born.
When she sat back down, her posture was slumped. There was nothing he could say besides, "I'm sorry."
She gave him a sad, tired approximation of a smile. "There's nothing to be done for it. It is what it is. I'm just… nervous, I guess."
"Understandable," he replied, sympathetic. "I can't even imagine what that's like."
She looked off with a wistful smile. "It's… comforting. Knowing they're out there." Her smile fell, "It was terrifying last Christmas when Dad was touch and go. I couldn't tell if I was imagining the feeling of him fading or not."
"Can you really feel all that?" He questioned, surprised that he had never heard about something so intense.
She colored slightly. "Probably not, in terms of a normal injury. But I heard later that Dad's heart stopped and they had to force the antivenom through his system with magic. I think I felt that and kept imagining that it was happening again. It's why I was so hard on Sirius. I was panicking."
Sensing an opening, he asked, "You're really close with your father, aren't you?"
"Yeah." There was a new warmth coloring her tone. "He's… he's loving and caring, but understanding - not overbearing like Mum can be, you know?" she asked with a tilt of her head. "I don't have to worry about him as much."
"Is that why you lie to them?"
He caught it as she transformed her face into one of innocence. "What are you talking about?"
"C'mon, Gin. You lie more than the twins combined, except it's not malicious. It's more like you're holding back. Is it because you worry about them?" He pressed.
Her lips quirked. "Should I be worried? Are my skills slipping?"
He rolled his eyes and stared at her expectantly. She eyed him shrewdly in return, something turning over in her mind that he couldn't guess at, before giving her head a little shake.
"It's not that I worry about them knowing things. It's that they worry about me a lot because I'm the youngest or a girl or what have you." She shrugged, but the way lips flattened at the end had him thinking it was more. "It's best I keep anything unpleasant to myself and then no one has to worry."
She looked away and smoothed her hair with her hands, before slipping them under the desk. He wondered if he would find her picking at her nails again if he were to look. They were her nervous tells, though she was usually better at maintaining her composure. He knew her mother, and her brothers too, had worried over her after her first year and wondered if it was after that when she developed the habit of keeping things to herself.
The further he thought about the idea, the more it made sense actually. Not only about them worrying about her, but also in terms of protecting herself. She had nearly lost her life by revealing herself to Tom Riddle, so it wouldn't be a surprise if she did an about-face on the issue of sharing secrets. While he had no doubt that she trusted her family, their overbearing tendency to fret over her likely compounded the issue until it became a habit for her to keep everything in. As someone who was also frequently guilty of this type of behavior, he couldn't really judge her for it.
He didn't want her treating him like that though. Already, he had seen that she let her walls down slightly in his presence, but he didn't want her to feel like she had to keep anything from him for his sake or because of a lack of trust. They were partners now, and he wanted her to trust him to be there for her. He told her so.
She paused, weighing him in a similar fashion to how she had this morning when they discussed the prophecy. It occurred to him that he must have failed her terribly on a personal level for her to so quickly affirm that he would defeat Voldemort, yet have to assess if she could count on him. Instead of sinking into the guilt her pause had ignited, he hardened his resolution. He would be that for her if only she'd let him.
Her brown eyes softened and she smiled softly, genuinely. "I meant to thank you already, actually. I appreciated your support tonight. It really helped get me through all that, knowing that you were there to back me."
The sincere gratitude warmed him and settled the lingering disquiet today had caused. Things were only going to get harder and more complicated from here, but he finally felt like he was doing something right with her.