The Forest Temple. Everyone's favorite Ocarina of Time dungeon. Let's do this!
Also, the Elder Skullfos, Kumangiriza, and Maoqiu come from the rejected Breath of the Wild Guardian concepts. I'd post a link, but I can't because of FF dot net's filters. Screw the filters.
RRRP:
ChangelingRin (FF): Okay, good. The last thing I wanted was to make you mad. ToM is Malink because that's my personal preference (and for the reasons stated in Chapter II), but it's perfectly easy to enjoy the fic without liking Malink all that much.
Regarding Demisedorf… well, there are two reasons. The first is that Link sort of blames himself for what happened and doesn't really want to talk about it, although he's not all that angsty about it for the second reason: He's in a really weird position. Keep in mind that Zelda had already sent him back once, and he sees it as having failed to save them. But now, pretty much everything is repeating itself in the same way. And Link thinks that if he goes through what he did last time and doesn't change any of the grand swaths of the story, he can bring back the world he lost better than when it was when Zelda sent him back. Mentioning Demise to Zelda, or how Ganondorf threatened him with the slaughter of the Hyrulean people, may change her actions as time progresses, thus jeopardizing the world Link wants to recreate. Link does relate something a bit closer to what actually happened to other people, who won't really be able to change much in the grand scheme of things. It's selfish, sure, but that flaw makes Link more human, and I thought readers would be able to empathize with Link better if they didn't see him as an infallible hero (beyond all the swearing, of course.)
Agent3Novi(AO3): It makes me really happy that ToM affects you so!
James Birdsong (FF): Thanks!
DISCLAIMER: I can't think of a funny and/or witty disclaimer, so I'm just going to say it: I don't own LOZ. Done. Can I stop doing these now? Yes? Cool.
Chapter IX: Temple of Trees
The door was locked.
Link knew there was something on top of the two trees that stood on either side of the way forward, but the Hero was reasonably distracted by the two Wolfos that had appeared in front of him, howling madly. Fortunately, a quick dodge caused the wolves to expose their vulnerable backs, and were easily felled by the Hylian.
After the last Wolfos had dissolved into piles of green flame, Link set his attention on the wall to his left, which was covered in Skullwalltulas. Not wanting to deal with them, Link jogged over to the other side of the leftmost tree and climbed up the vines on that side. There weren't any Skulltulas on that side.
Link stepped onto the top of the tree and proceeded to almost jump to the branch of the rightmost tree before Ivan yelled at him to stop. Confused, Link did just that, only to nearly be slapped off the branch by a Big Skulltula. Silently thanking Ivan, Link retrieved his Hookshot and shot the giant spider, felling it instantly.
Now that that was out of the way, Link crossed the branches and stepped on the golden switch that rested on top of the rightmost tree. A chest dropped on the leftmost tree, which Link hookshotted to. The chest contained a small key, which Link used to open the door.
Behind the door was a Big Skulltula. The Hylian smirked, readying his Hookshot once again. Then another Skulltula nearly dropped on his head, and in his surprise, he shot it. Regaining his composure, Link killed both of the other two Big Skulltulas and a Golden Skulltula hiding behind some vines. That made twenty-three.
The next room was some kind of dark, large amphitheater. Four torches, burning red, blue, green, and purple were situated around some sort of elevator, but they soon went out and manifested as the four Poe Sisters. The ghosts then turned and flew off into different parts of the Forest Temple, laughing all the way. The elevator descended, preventing Link from venturing to the Boss Room.
There were five doors, excluding the one Link had walked through. One of them was out of reach. Two others were activated by conspicuous Eye Switches that were set above each door. Link wouldn't be able to enter them without the Bow and Arrows. One of them, Link knew from experience, lead to a dead end.
He decided to do the dead end first, as there was probably a key in there.
"Hey, Ivan?"
"Da?" Ivan replied.
"This room is kinda dark, do you think you could brighten up a bit?" Link asked. He wasn't concerned about the room; rather, he had noticed that Ivan didn't seem glow quite as bright recently.
"What is leetle man saying? Ivan can see just fine, and Ivan knows that you can too. Ivan will not waste energy engaging in such pointless activities. Ivan hopes you don't mind. Okay?"
"Fine," Link acquiesced, mentally noting Ivan's unwillingness to talk about it.
!0*0!
The last notes of the Song of Time exited the Ocarina of Time, as the Block of Time was teleported away from the Hero of Time. Behind the Block was a door, which Link strode over to and opened.
Walking through the door made it seal behind him, and a pack of Wolfos appeared, filling the air with their cacophonous cries. Link smirked, knowing that the Wolfos were weak, and brandished the Master Sword. The sacred blade whistled through the air, slaying or injuring any cursed wolves it touched. Ivan's Mind Hacking was extremely beneficial in the chaotic battleground, and it saved Link's live several times from any Wolfos that managed to sneak up behind him. Evidently, the seven-year gap had done wonders for the length of time that Ivan could hold something in stasis.
At least they weren't Stalfos. Like last time.
Eventually, the last Wolfos exploded into a shower of flames, and the door back to the central chamber reopened. A chest also appeared, which held a Small Key. Not done in the room just yet, Link smashed a few clay pots hiding in the back of the room and captured the singular pink Healing Fairy in a bottle.
It was time to go back, Link mused. So he did, soon finding himself back in that dark central chamber. Despite the lighting, it smelled of life, of nature slowly working itself into the temple, reclaiming it in the name of the woods. Fitting for a Forest Temple.
Link took a left and clambered up some stairs. He then opened the door, which closed and locked itself behind him. There was nothing in front of him, only a sealed door. He was in a hallway, and not a very long one, either. Cautiously, Link took a step forward, only to be caught off guard when a Stalfos leapt out of nowhere, brandishing a jagged copper sword. It towered over the Hylian by at least two heads, and as soon as it had appeared, the Stalfos was already leaping towards him, swinging its sword down over its head. Link barely had time to summon his shield, but he managed to get it between himself and the skeletal warrior. Unfortunately, the brutal hit made his Stalfos shield explode into a maelstrom of black diamonds, rendering it unsummonable for a time. The Hero soon found himself backed against the wall of the tiny corridor, the Stalfos shuffling towards him. Thinking quickly, Link ducked under the skeleton's guard and rammed his sword into its jugular. The Stalfos viciously shoved the Hero away before swinging its blade at him, succeeding in slashing Link across the ribs. Grunting in pain and cursing himself for being careless, Link attacked. The Stalfos jumped back before launching itself forwards again, expecting to execute a Jump Attack. Unfortunately for the Stalfos, however, Link was expecting it, and landed a Jump Attack of his own, nailing the Stalfos in midair. The skeleton fell to the stone ground, dazing it just long enough for the Hero of Time to charge and release a Spin Attack, felling the undead warrior.
Link's Stalfos hand twitched as the opposing skeleton dissolved into green flame. Hesitantly, the swordsman put his left hand closer to the flames, only for them to suddenly go out. Link noted that his dark magic was slightly replenished. Evidently, it could drain some of the dark energy of other Stalfos and add it to its own. Given that he didn't feel the twitch after killing other enemies, Link correctly assumed that his hand could only absorb Stalfos dark magic.
Link progressed through the now-open door, ending up in a confusing room full of ledges and thin hallways. Following a scratching noise to his right led the Hero to a Golden Skulltula, which he killed. He then glared at a diamond switch placed conspicuously on an upper balcony, blocked from his Hookshot by a strange, see-through crystalline substance. Deciding that he'd probably end up there later, Link instead climbed up a ladder and Hookshotted up another before continuing deeper into the miniature labyrinth, noting the grotesque sounds of Bubbles somewhere.
"Leetle man, look!" Ivan suddenly said. "There are arrows painted on this floor!"
"I see that you've taken to calling me "little man" again," Link grumbled.
"Da," Ivan confirmed. "It still suits you. Because even if you've been seventeen twice, you don't have a brain to match. Given what Ivan has seen, you act… about… thirteen or fourteen. And Bogini, does it explain your edginess."
"What the- I'm not edgy!" Link contested hotly.
"A rose will smell just as good if Ivan calls it a dead fish," Ivan countered. "It helps make you you. Ivan wouldn't worry about it."
Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Link set his attention to the arrows. They started from a blue block that Link knew covered another hallway, then pointed down the hallway and to the left, but Link could see another blue block that Link could push. He knew that without the Silver Gauntlets, he wasn't quite strong enough to push two of these massive blocks. With that in mind, Link tugged at the closest block until he could slip past it into the other hallway. Once completed, Link ignored the ladder and continued forwards, turning left so that he was behind the other blue block. He pushed it into place, and then jumped on top of it, allowing him to ascend to the next level.
His path was immediately blocked by a red block, with the Gerudo insignia emblazoned on it. Grumbling, Link tried to push it out of his way, only to realize that it wouldn't budge.
"Maybe if you climb that ladder that was in the other hallway, you might find something," Ivan suggested.
"That's what I was just going to do," Link replied hotly, jumping back down into the maze. "Stop distracting me and let me finish this Temple already."
"And you say you aren't edgy!" Ivan yelled back, laughing.
"Shut up, Ivan!" the Hylian hollered.
Ivan stopped laughing and followed.
!0*0!
Link finally shoved the last red block into place. The issue was simply that there was another red block in between the first red block and the way forwards, and he just needed to drag it down the other hallway before doubling back and pushing the first block into place. The Hylian wiped his brow with the back of his hand, grumbling about the sweat that had accumulated there. He hauled himself up onto the block, and then used it as a stepping stone to enter the highest section of the room.
There was a gold floor switch right next to him. Curious, Link stepped on it, only for his right hand to collide with the sudden Hookshot panel pillar that arose from the ground right next to him. Looking down and to his right revealed that a series of Hookshot pillars had appeared, accompanied by several floating crystal lattices that created a path straight up to the ledge on which Link was standing. Appreciating the convenience of such a thing, Link turned left and clambered up another ladder, killing the pair of Bubbles that were guarding the door by bashing them with his shield. The Hero prepared to be disoriented by the twisted corridor that lay beyond the locked door in front of him, but fortunately for him, once the door unlocked and he walked through it, Link realized that the hallway was not, in fact, warped.
"Be careful, leetle man," Ivan said suddenly. "Wallmasters. You know what those are?"
"Yeah," Link confirmed. "I just gotta keep moving."
He grinned when he walked into the room and saw a gilded chest casually sitting on the floor below him. Link leapt down onto what would soon be the wall, shoved the chest open, and retrieved a Boss Key. Well, he could fight Phantom Ganon now, but that wouldn't help him until he got the Arrows.
The ethereal glow from the chest soon faded, and Link, who saw nothing else in the room around him, proceeded to jump down a hole in the floor. He fell into a room with only a sealed door, filled with the disgusting noises of a Floormaster. However, Link couldn't see the giant disembodied hand, and instantly worried that it was invisible. It was pitch black, Ivan's luminescence the only source of light in the room.
It turned out that he could see it, and that it had only been hiding in the darker corners of the chamber. Link only realized this when he saw it as a slightly darker patch amidst the blacks of the room. Blindly, Link charged up a Spin Attack, summoning his Shield for when the Floormaster decided to hurl itself at him. Eventually, it did, colliding with his shield with a resounding clang. Somehow the shield didn't break, but Link's dark magic had taken a huge hit. As soon as the Floormaster hit his shield, Link released the Spin Attack, forcing the hand to split into three smaller hands. As soon as it split, Link released Din's Fire to fry the smaller hands alive before they could reform.
!0*0!
The door near the back of the room opened, allowing warm sunlight to spill into the room. Link was sure to refill his magic with the several vials of magic that the Floormaster had dropped, fully replenishing all of his energy. Judging by the position of the sun in the sky of the courtyard, it was about three o'clock.
The Hylian and his fairy pressed onwards, taking a left into another dark room. Once again, the only reason Link could see anything was due to the light Ivan passively emitted. Unlike the other room, however, this smaller room was filled with the telltale moans of a Redead. Thinking quickly, Link pressed the Ocarina of Time to his lips and played the Sun's Song, its notes soothing the undead soul and freezing it in place. With that done, Link unsheathed the Master Sword and started hacking away at the wooden corpse, eventually causing the monstrosity to crumple to its knees, twitching occasionally in its death throes.
The door behind him opened, and Link retrieved a key from the chest that had appeared in the wake of the Redead's death. Seeing that his job was done in that room, Link exited, and pondered jumping down into the grove below. It was either that, or go through the door to his right and hit that switch that he couldn't reach before.
The clearing beneath him, on closer inspection, only had the exit to that well section, some ruins that didn't hold anything, and a vine-covered wall that led to another door- only it was blocked by a large spider web that Link couldn't burn because he had no access to fire up that high. Therefore, Link decided to walk through the closer door, hitting the diamond switch with a resonating kreeng. Just after the distinctive sound, Link heard the whole of the Temple utter a cacophonous groan, as ancient stone shifted with the machinations of the mechanism.
"What just happened?" Ivan pondered.
"If my hunch is right, that hallway from earlier just twisted," Link answered. "We'll have to backtrack."
"But… how does that help?"
"You'll see, Ivan!" Link said, turning around and walking through the door into the courtyard. He jumped down off the ledge into a small pond, summoning his shield when several Octoroks appeared, and then hauled himself out of the water, running over to the door and throwing himself through it.
The door sealed itself behind Link, and the Hero found himself back in the central room. He shook himself in an effort to fling all the cold water off of his skin before going back to the maze room. Using the new Hookshot panels and crystal platforms, Link easily scaled the room and, after killing the Bubbles again, entered the twisted hallway.
As the Hylian predicted, the hallway was warped now. The floor appeared to smoothly rotate ninety degrees so that it was on the right wall.
"Okay… but… this doesn't help us!" Ivan argued. "We're just going to walk on what was once the wall!"
"That's the idea!" Link yelled back, having already walked down the hallway. From his perspective, Ivan was now floating sideways above the left wall. "I forgot to mention that this hallway fucks with gravity!"
"Watch your language, leetle man!" Ivan hollered before fluttering over to Link, struggling to adjust to the gravity change. Now that the room was on its side, Link could jump over to a locked door, and using a key, could open the door, stepping into a dark room with a staircase and several paintings of one of those Poe Sisters. It was the red one. What was her name? Jail? Joel? It didn't matter. He couldn't fight her until he had the Bow, after all.
Link ignored the stairs in favor of backflipping over the railing, much to his fairy's chagrin. Eventually, Link made it to another door, which was fortunately unlocked, as he had no keys left. Unsheathing his sword prematurely, Link walked into the dark room.
A Stalfos leapt out of the large hole in the ground. Upon closer inspection, it led to that other room with the Wolfos in it. The skeleton brandished its sword and shield before charging at Link at full speed, jagged, coppery blade raised for the kill.
The Hylian habitually flipped his sword in his hands, summoning his Shield and managing to bash the Stalfos over the cranium with it. It staggered back a bit before attempting to stab its opponent. Link sidestepped the blow and retaliated with a powerful, two-armed chop, severing the Stalfos' neck.
The good thing about the Stalfos Shield was that, unlike the Hylian and Mirror Shields, the magic shield didn't encumber his left hand. This meant that he could generate more strength with the Master Sword and- theoretically- use the Biggoron Sword without having to sacrifice his Shield. Of course, there was the issue of it exploding very easily, but with all pros came cons.
As if reacting to the Stalfos' defeat, a large platform collided with the hole in the floor, sealing it, and two more Stalfos emerged. Grinning sadistically, Link rushed to meet them, calling on Ivan to Mind Hack one of them and give him time to deal with the other.
The holy blade and cursed sword connected in a crossbuck, as both the undead and living combatants struggled against each other. From what little of his consciousness was dedicated to sound outside of the grating of steel on steel, Link could hear Ivan yelling that his Mind Hacking was about to expire. Upon hearing that, the Hylian forced his blade to point towards the Stalfos' neck, pouring all of his energy into forcing the skeleton's blade back. Once in prime position, Link thrust forwards, the Master Sword grinding against the Stalfos' before finding its mark in the skeleton's jugular. This blow forced the skeleton to stagger backwards, giving Link the opportunity to throw a Deku Nut, stunning the Stalfos and allowing Link to follow up with a jumping slash, killing the un-Mind Hacked Stalfos. Seeing that one of the skeletal warriors was downed, Link turned his attention to the other being just as Ivan's Mind Hacking gave out.
The Stalfos immediately began sidestepping around Link, keeping its guard up. Link did the same, to avoid being outflanked by his opponent. He was patient, knowing that the Stalfos would eventually attack.
Except, oddly, it kept on strafing around him, keeping its shield out in front of it to prevent Link from attacking. The Hylian knew that he couldn't stay here forever, so he dispelled his shield, hoping to incur an attack.
The Stalfos attacked, but Link hardly expected it to randomly charge him, bashing his head with its armored shoulder. Regrettably, Link had missed the timing for a Backapparate, not allowing him to capitalize on the attack. A sticky, warm substance started oozing from Link's nose, and an experimental prod confirmed that it was blood. Feeling at the tip of his nose ensured that Link's prognosis was correct; the Stalfos had succeeded in breaking his nose.
Another attack arced towards Link from above, but his instincts kicked in and the Hylian scrambled out of range before charging back in and stepping on the Stalfos' blade, as it was now below his knees. Having essentially disarmed the skeleton, Link proceeded to swing the Master Sword through both of its forearms and then brutally decapitating it, allowing the offending bonepile to dissolve into a green fire.
Now that his job was complete, the doors opened. A chest appeared in the center of the room, and Link, convinced that it was the Fairy Bow, ecstatically opened the chest and unboxed the elegant ranged weapon. There was also a quiver of thirty slender, straight arrows in the chest, which Link graciously took. Now properly equipped, Link ran back into the rightmost staircase room, notated by the Joel pictures and the red carpet.
!0*0!
Killing the Red Poe had yielded a Dungeon Map, and killing the Blue Poe had revealed a Compass. Unfortunately, the door out of the leftmost staircase was locked, and Link didn't have any keys with which to open the door. Link consulted his compass to ensure that he hadn't missed anything. And, lo and behold, there were two objects hiding inside of the well and in that courtyard that Link had yet to explore. Coming to a decision, Link backtracked all the way back to the original central chamber before taking a soft right, heading towards the leftmost sealed door. Taking aim, Link attempted to shoot the gold eye switch above the door, only to miss horrendously several times in a row.
He blamed Navi.
Eight arrows later, the Hylian finally hit the gold switch. This caused the great gold eye to squeeze shut, causing the door to open. Triumphant, the Hero of Time ran through the door before being assaulted by a Giant Deku Baba, which only succeeded in biting a lock of Link's hair off of his head and chewing it to pieces.
"You little s-" Link started, cutting himself off at Ivan's disapproving glare. He then proceeded to ram the Master Sword down the carnivorous plant's gullet, making it explode into a pile of Deku Nuts, which Link pocketed.
The courtyard was now silent save an odd scratching noise. Link looked around, and only saw a few Blocks of Time suspended in the air. Two were located by the small hill separated from the rest of the courtyard by a little stream, and there was a third situated between a vine-covered section of wall and the door. There was also a well tucked away, but Link would need to step on a red button somewhere to drain it. It was late evening, nearly night.
"Okay, that scratching is really messing with my ability to concentrate," Link grumbled, scanning the room again for the source of the offending sound. Eventually, he noticed a Golden Skulltula perched on the stone outlet covering the door, and the Hylian slayed it with his Hookshot. The skull-shaped spider fell to the earth, writhing in agony and revealing that it had situated itself on top of a Hookshot panel. Thanking Farore, Link raised his hookshot once again and used the chain to yank himself up on top of the little outlet. From there, Link thought he could jump to the Block of Time, only to miss by a rather large margin. It was only after the fact that Ivan decided to help, flying over to just in front of the outlet and turning green. Returning to the top of the alcove, Link played the Song of Time, causing another two blocks to appear. He jumped to on top of one, played the Song of Time again, and then jumped across to the newly spawned Block of Time. He then shot the Skullwalltula that was patrolling the vines before Hookshotting onto the vines and clambering into one of the balconies. There was a chest, in which there was a small key.
The Hero of Time knew that he would need more than one small key, and he also knew that there was another key in the chest just on the hill. He knew that he couldn't reach it from the balcony, so he had to reach it in some other way.
Deciding that he would deal with it later, Link opted to Hookshot to the other balcony, going through the door. Inside was a lit torch, a Giant Skulltula, and a massive cobweb. Link killed two Keese with one stone, and shot an arrow through the torch at the web, lighting both it and the Skulltula it was attached to. Now there was a way between the two courtyards… but that didn't help him at all! He needed another small key, because there were two doors separating Link from the last room on the second floor, and both of them were probably locked. So he either had to get the chest on the island or the chest at the bottom of the well, neither of which he could appear to access!
With a groan of frustration, Link retreated back into the left courtyard and sat himself down on the cold stone steps, puzzled, before he had an epiphany.
"Oh, I see!" Link thought aloud, standing. He pulled out his Hookshot and aimed for the chest up on the island. The little red laser that accompanied the hookshot was dim, meaning that the chest was out of range.
"Come on, I can totally Hookshot to that!" Link said through gritted teeth, trying again from a different spot.
"Uh, Ivan does not think Link can get to that chest," Ivan noted.
"Shut up, Ivan! I can totally hookshot over there!" Link refuted, trying again.
He tried again. And again, And again. And again.
Dusk turned to night. Night turned to midnight. It was only at the break of dawn that Link gave up, angrily flinging the Hookshot into the corner before dejectedly walking over and picking it up again.
"How am I supposed to do this!" the Hylian screamed. "Do I need to go get the goddamn Iron Boots?!"
"Language!" Ivan chastised. "Leetle man is tired. Take a break. Ivan will get you some water from the well."
"It's fine. I have some water in my canteen," Link tried to object before realizing that his canteen was, in fact, empty. "Never mind, I don't have water in my canteen."
The fairy snatched the sack from his partner and struggled to fly across the courtyard. When he didn't come back, Link looked up, confused, at his fairy staring open-mouthed at the well.
Ivan looked up at the Hylian. "Link, promise Ivan that you won't get mad."
"Did you drop the canteen?"
"No," Ivan said. "It's just… well… there's an eye switch inside of the well."
Link stood motionless, staring at Ivan from across the courtyard. His eye twitched. Then it twitched again. He let out an odd breath…
And started laughing. Hard.
Soon, Link was doubled over, collapsed on the ground, tears of hilarity streaming from his eyes as he laughed at the sheer insanity of the reversed dungeon. Eventually, he got over his laughing fit, retrieved his Hookshot, and then walked over to the well entrance. Sure enough, an eye switch was just sitting there, about eight feet below the surface. It was easy enough to shoot with the Fairy Bow.
Once the eye closed, the water level in the well started rapidly decreasing, allowing Link to jump inside. At the bottom of the weill was a tiny stream and a chest, which contained a small key. Link grabbed the key, refilled his canteen, partook of the water from the stream, and then killed a Golden Skulltula. He then climbed out the other side, in the right-side courtyard, and walked back into the central chamber.
"I hate this place," he sighed.
Now came the chore of walking all the way back to the second floor of the dungeon.
!0*0!
The locked door opened, and Link found himself in a cube-shaped room. The green Bubbles outside hadn't been much of a problem. This room contained four pillars rotating around a fifth, which had a blue switch and an unlit torch on it. The pillars were situated inside of some sort of red substance which almost looked like lava. There was also a silver eye switch, but it was frozen over.
Link looked at the raised section of floor just under the eye switch and noticed a wooden crate. Instantly, he knew what to do. The Hylian deftly jumped over to the column, grabbed the box, and then jumped onto the central pillar, setting it down on the blue switch.
The switch caused the torch to light. Link then hopped onto one of the rotating platforms, and aimed for the eye switch. He waited for just the right time, and then fired. The arrow sailed through the flames, lighting the arrow on fire before it hit the eye switch dead on. The ice melted and the eye snapped shut, accompanied by the harsh grating of ancient machinery doing its job. He knew from experience that the hallway back had just rotated.
Link confidently turned back to the door- only to find that it was sealed off by a crystal structure. Was there something he had to kill in the room. Link couldn't see anything, and there wasn't any distinctive flapping that would identify invisible Keese. He prayed to Farore that there weren't invisible enemies.
His prayers went answered, as careful scouring of the room revealed no such beasts. Now truly confounded, the Hero of Time contemplated the conundrum. Was it triggered by shooting the eye? Possible, but Link doubted it. Maybe the crystal wall was destructible by bombs? No such luck; explosives seemed to do nothing to it. Sword slashes had a similar effect, and Link couldn't Backapparate behind it because there weren't any enemies to hit him.
So what else had changed? The only thing Link could think of was that the blue switch had compressed. Figuring that it was worth a shot, Link hopped to the central pillar and kicked the box into the red liquid, causing the crate to disintegrate.
Lo and behold, the crystalline lattice soon dissipated.
"Very good!" Ivan encouraged, urging Link onwards.
The hallway back was all twisted, allowing the Hero and his partner to walk, or fly in Ivan's case, on what was once the wall. This allowed them to fall down a hole and back to the first floor, into a long room with a checkerboard floor.
"Watch out! The ceiling is falling down!" Ivan warned before parts of the roof started shaking violently. Just a few feet in front of Link, the entirety of the ceiling collapsed, falling onto the floor before raising up again. Ignoring it entirely, Link instead took a left and walked down a smaller hallway, only to come to a sealed door. He'd probably need to press a button or something in the hallway.
Judging by the shadows on the floor in the large room, there were at least ten giant Skulltulas perched in the stronger parts of the roof. They wouldn't fall and crush their skeletal residents. With this in mind, Link pulled out his bow and started shooting, each arrow causing the death of a skeletal spider. There weren't all that many; Link estimated that there were seven or eight. He waited patiently for the ceiling to fall again and, once it had risen, Link dashed across the room and stepped on a gold switch.
Even from all the way down the hallway, Link could tell that the previously locked door had unlocked. Stepping on the other switch caused a chest to fall. The chest contained five arrows.
Soon, Link found himself back in the leftmost courtyard, on a little ledge that overlooked the previously inaccessible island hill. There were two Song of Time blocks, three if you counted the one that hadn't been summoned yet. Ignoring the Blocks, Link jumped down onto the island, killed the small Deku Baba, and opened the chest that he had tried to Hookshot to ages ago, revealing the small key needed to progress.
Now came the puzzle of getting back up again.
Link clambered on top of the lowest Song of Time block and played the Song of Time. This caused another Block of Time to appear in front of him, but it also caused the Block of Time closest to the ledge to disappear. Link guessed that he could probably jump from block to block, so he climbed onto the new Block and played the Song again. This caused the lowest Block of Time to teleport to the ledge, allowing the Hero to jump back into the hallway with the collapsing ceiling.
This time, Link was able to unlock the door out of the hallway, and progress into the next room. This room had a massive painting of the green Poe in it, as well as five stone blocks suspended in space above him. Knowing what he had to do, Link pulled out the Fairy Bow and shot the painting right in the eye. The stone cubes shook a little before falling to the ground. He only had a minute, so the Hylian needed to act fast. He quickly shoved a blue block out of the way before jumping on top of it, seeing which blocks would need to go where. With this knowledge in mind, it was pathetically easy to push the stones into position.
Once the blocks were arranged in the correct pattern, they assimilated with the floor and the Green Poe was left in their wake. She was easy enough to kill.
The next room had… absolutely nothing in it. Surprised and thankful, Link continued further into the dungeon, arriving back at the central room. The green torch was lit.
This time, however, the Purple Poe was there, convulsing in the center of the room. Readying his Fairy Bow, the Hero vaulted over the railing and down into the center of the room, nocking an arrow as he approached the vengeful ghost.
The spirit had other ideas, though, as she proceeded to split into four copies of herself and surround Link with them. All of them were rotating around him, spinning on an identical axis, save the one that was spinning the opposite way. Smirking in superiority, Link loosed an arrow into the odd Poe out. The copies coalesced with the ghost as it disappeared, only to appear again a few meters away. It was the same procedure; just shoot the odd one out.
Eventually, the Purple Poe disintegrated into nothingness, its lantern breaking. The purple torch lit once more, and the stone elevator reappeared. Stepping into the structure caused it to descend into the bottom floor, which was some kind of carousel. There were two entryways, both of which were sealed with an iron gate.
Link ran up to one of the protrusions in the wall and pushed. The entire room rotated forty-five degrees clockwise, revealing a new room just behind Link. Inside, there was a chest that contained more than enough Arrows to refill Link's quiver. The room held nothing else, so Link once again rotated the room clockwise. This door was also sealed, but there was a diamond switch just in front of it, which Link activated with the Hookshot. Triggering the switch caused the iron gate to descend, allowing the Hero of Time to step on the gold button inside. He heard another iron gate lower somewhere, but he wasn't sure where.
So he pushed the room again. The last little alcove contained some Giant Skulltulas, a Golden Skulltula, and three pots, which had Rupees and a Fairy inside. Finally, Link pushed the room back to its original position. He noticed that the iron gates barring him from the alcove that wasn't the Boss Room was open now, and he walked inside to find…
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Link looked around. The room was barren. Maybe he missed something in one of the other spots? Probably. He made to leave, but he noticed an eye switch hidden just above the entryway. Grumbling, Link shot it, causing the last iron gate to open. Finally able to fight Ganon's Phantom, Link pushed forwards, unlocking the door with the Boss Key and stepping inside.
But first, he took the time to appreciate the art that lined the walls of the short hallway.
"These paintings are very avant-garde," Link noted. "Ivan, once all this is over, you'll have to remind me to come back here and take some."
"Ivan does not think the Kokiri would appreciate that," Ivan refuted. "Besides, all these paintings are really edgy."
"For the last time, Ivan, I'm not edgy!" Link complained, finally entering the final chamber.
!0*0!
Iron pikes jutted out of the stairwell, preventing Link from retreating back into the Forest Temple. He heard a snort. Despite knowing exactly what was coming, Link was still shocked to see Ganondorf on his horse, just kind of sitting there.
"How did he get there?" Ivan exclaimed.
"This isn't the real Ganondorf!" Link explained. "This is only his phantom. An evil spirit from beyond!"
The Ganondorf brought his right hand in front of its face as it erupted into a blue flame. The mask of humanity melted away, leaving only a skeletal skull with horns and glowing, hate-filled golden eyes. Then his horse started floating, as Phantom Ganon brandished its trident before galloping straight into a painting through a portal the color of suffering.
Link could only stare as Phantom Ganon galloped out of sight into the painting. As soon as it disappeared, though, it came back, galloping into the foreground with a bone-chilling chortle.
He could do this. He just needed to find the one that was brighter. Everything was-
Link turned to see that the other Phantom Ganons were all the same shade. And that all six paintings had a Phantom Ganon in it.
Great. Now what?
The sound of the horse's hoof steps were coming from his left, so Link dove to the right as five of the Ganons turned back into their paintings. The sixth, the leftmost one, jumped out of the painting and released a huge electric explosion, electric tendrils crawling all over the floor. Link was barely able to summon his shield in time, which somehow deflected the blow without exploding. But Link's dark magic reserves were nearly spent.
The Ganons were back again, and Link focused his attention on the sounds each Ganon made. It sounded like it was coming from one of the northern paintings, so Link focused his attention on those. Sure enough, the specter emerged from the northmost painting - only to be greeted by an arrow to the cranium. Grunting in agony, Phantom Ganon receded back into the painting and returned the way he came, later coming back in absolute silence. Now how was Link supposed to determine which one was real?
He looked at all of the Ganons, instantly finding the brightest one and loosing an arrow at it as soon as it emerged from the painting. It gave a morbid laugh as it regressed back into the painting.
Link knew he was coming, the auditory cues told him as much. However, he couldn't even see Phantom Ganon in any of the paintings. Trusting his ears, Link aimed at a painting and loosed an arrow when Phantom Ganon suddenly became visible.
This time, only the horse regressed into the painting. Phantom Ganon itself, however, remained floating there, trident pouring magical energy. It brandished the trident, flinging a torrent of magic in the form of an electric ball. Link slapped it away with the Master Sword, only for it to fly nearly forty-five degrees off of its intended course. Nevertheless, the ghost attacked again, allowing Link to whack it back at Ganon. The hit connected, forcing a wounded Ganon to fall down to the stone floor. The Hero of Time wasted no time in driving the sword into his cranium as much as possible. The phantom soon recovered, however, and launched itself into the air while knocking Link away.
The Hero and the specter traded blows, each hitting an electric ball back at each other. At this point, the ball was whizzing between them at about fifty miles an hour, and Link didn't want to give first.
So he didn't.
As soon as he slapped the ball away, he readied his Hookshot. Once Phantom Ganon hit the ball again, Link hit the ball with the Hookshot just a few feet from Ganon's face. The ghost had no time to react and fell once more, allowing Link to administer the coup de grace.
The spirit writhed in agony, somewhat dissolving into a pile of blue flames. It lifted off of the ground, still twitching in its death throes.
"Hey, kid, you did quite well… it looks like you may be gaining some tiny modicum of skill…" Ganondorf's gravelly voice emanated. Instinctually, Link tightened the grip on the Master Sword, choruses of Demise coursing through his brain.
"But you have defeated only my phantom… When you fight the real me, it won't be so easy!"
"If anything, it'll be easier, Ganonwhoref!" Link shouted.
"Watch your tongue!" Ganondorf's disembodied voice shot back. "I could kill you at any instant! The only reason you are alive right now is because I want your death to be slow and painful! Bah! What a worthless creation that phantom was! I will banish it to the gap between dimensions!"
Meanwhile, Phantom Ganon was writing in agony as it was slowly sucked into an oozing black portal, leaving nothing in its wake. Once it was finally gone, Link wiped the sweat from his brow and stepped into the blue, diamond-shaped portal, whisking him away to the Sacred Realm.
!0*0!
The light dropped him off in front of the Deku Tree. He fingered Saria's Medallion absentmindedly before stowing away his Fairy Bow. Link looked at the Deku Tree Sprout, knowing that it would emerge soon and not wanting to be startled by it like last time.
So he was confused when it didn't emerge. Link approached, cautious. But when he was only a few feet from the sprout, the entire head of the new Deku Tree emerged, throwing Link off of his balance and making him land on his back in the most undignified manner possible.
"Hi there! I'm the Deku Tree Sprout! Because you and Saria broke the curse on the Great Deku Tree, I can grow and flourish! Thanks a lot!"
"It's nothing," Link tried to correct, only for the Deku Tree to ignore him.
"Hey, have you seen your old friends? None of them recognized you with your grown-up body, did they?"
"No, they did," Link corrected. "They know Ivan."
"Da!" Ivan chimed in.
Anyway, Link, I suppose I ought to tell you something-"
"That I'm Hylian?" Link answered. "We knew that. Kokiri don't age, so I can't be a Kokiri because I no longer have the body of a ten-year-old."
"Yes, actually!" the Deku Tree Sprout said. "Wait… Ivan, I really need to talk to you. I'm sorry we couldn't have told you that. You know the ramifications of… well…"
"Ivan knows the risks," the sprite assured cryptically, "but leetle tree cannot stop Ivan."
"Very well," the Deku Tree Sprout surrendered. "There's also something else. Something that I've been debating whether or not to give you. But since you seem more mature than expected, here."
A rustling sound came from overhead, and something fell just in front of the Deku Tree Sprout. It was some kind of silver medallion. Link picked it up, fingers running over the word "Hyrule".
"This was on the body of your late mother," the Sprout revealed. "She wanted it to be given to you when you were of age. As… something to remember your father by."
Link stared at the medal with a newfound wonder. "So my father served Hyrule?"
"Yup!" the Deku Tree laughed. "Hyrule was the country he was a knight of. I think. Your father's name is Arn. It's on the other side."
Sure enough, the name 'Arn' was engraved into the other side of the medal, as were a few other glyphs too small for Link to decipher.
A smile graced Link's features, the first genuine one in who knows how long. "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to," the Deku Tree Sprout replied. "Being alive is thanks enough. Feel free to come back any time!"
Link continued grinning as he sauntered out of the Deku Tree's grove. Then he remembered something and slapped himself on the forehead, running into the Lost Woods and taking a right.
The Hero ended up in a small clearing, where he had once played Saria's Song for a Skull Kid. The wooden gremlin was absent, however; in his place was a pale, pasty, hunched-over Hylian. Knowing what to do, Link pulled Cojiro out of hammerspace. Upon seeing its keeper, the blue Cucco uttered a mighty crow, instantly changing its demeanor.
The fellow reacted instantly, raising his head and staring at Link with unbridled emotion. "You… Cojiro! Then… you must be a nice guy! Mr. Nice Guy! You have to-"
"I'm not wasting my time with a goddamn mushroom," Link said, cutting off the other Hylian. "You're coming with me."
"No! No, no, no, no, no!" the man started yelling, writhing on the earth like he was having some sort of epileptic fit. "You're not a nice guy! You're disgusting! Just like everyone else!"
"Look, if you stay here, you'll turn into a Stalfos," Link tried to reason, showing his Stalfos Hand to back him up. "That's more disgusting than any living person could be. So either we leave the forest and go see your sister, or I drag you out of the forest and we go see your sister. Okay? Good."
With that, Link grabbed the man by the scruff of his neck and lugged him out of the clearing.
"And while you're at it, put a shirt on!"
!0*0!
The reunion of Anjou and her brother was surprisingly heartfelt, given how violently the man had reacted beforehand. It was better than turning into a Stalfos by a long shot.
"Thank you so much, mister Link," the red-haired woman said to him. "I wish I could repay you with something, anything, but… well, we don't have much."
"It's fine," Link assured, looking around aimlessly. "I don't really need anything. Well, actually… there's something that your dad has that I need, but I'm not quite sure how I should get it from him… Maybe that saw?"
"But this is the only thing I have of Mother!" Anjou's brother vetoed, scandalized. "I can't part with it!"
Well, this is a conundrum.
"I'll figure something out, I guess," Link said. "It's fine. I'll be heading out, I'll drop by again tomorrow. Sound good?"
"Oh, no, you're not!" another voice rang out. "You just got back, and I'm not letting you slip out of my sight again!"
"Malon, the sooner I leave, the sooner Death Mountain gets fixed," the Hero tried to explain. "I don't mean to be rude, but-"
"Well, you are being rude!" Malon argued. "Is our hospitality not good enough for you? Huh? Is it?"
"The last time I let anyone be hospitable for me, they proceeded to die the next night in a fiery inferno. You know the one I'm talking about," Link spat. "I'll be back tomorrow."
With that, Link turned on his heel and stalked out of the Ranch, whistling Epona's Song so that the horse would follow.
But as soon as Link mounted Epona, the horse proceeded to turn around and walk back into New Lon Ranch. Confused, Link tried to spur his steed the other way, only for the mare to disregard him entirely.
"Good girl," Malon cooed, rubbing Epona's side before turning to the man riding her. "Look here, Fairy Boy. You know you're not the only one who's been suffering. But you've still been locked in the Temple of Time all this time, so you haven't seen what's happened.
"The smog from Death Mountain covers the entire village, almost blocking out the sun. It smothers the crops and starves them to their roots. We're living off the fortunately massive stores of foodstuffs preserved in Kakariko, but it won't last forever. The other towns aren't doing much better. The water from Zora's Domain is pure poison, completely undrinkable. Hyrule Field is filled with monsters, and we can hardly even go out of Kakariko without being assaulted. Old Lon Ranch is overrun. The Gorons haven't spoken to us, and neither have the Zora. Castle Town is a ruin. Everyone has lost hope. So don't give me this crap about not wanting to be rude. You've helped us, and it's only right that we help you too."
Link had never known Malon to be this fierce about things in the other timeline. He liked it, although he didn't know why.
"Ivan agrees with Malon," Ivan added. "Leetle man deserves leetle break and a night's rest. Da?"
Link sighed in defeat. "Fine."
"Excellent!" the ranch girl said, losing all the anger she had once had in an instant. "Come inside!"
Reluctantly, Link forced his feet to move into the building, the door closing silently behind him.
There's Chapter 9. Let's all be honest, Link deserves a break from hero-ing. Plus, the entire novel can't be just Link running around doing MQ dungeons.
NOOTTD: I don't think there was anything.
REVIEW PLEASE!