Miss Queen B: Hello my lovely Readers, I'm back with my third Godzilla one-shot and boy, this one was a challenge to write. Notes:
Note one: This one-shot went through so many rough drafts I almost gave up on it. I wanted to make sure I get this one just right to avoid the uproar "Embers" caused. Again, I don't regret writing "Embers" I just didn't think I would get the reactions like I did. While I have a lot of readers already predicting what this one-shot is going to be about I hope I didn't disappoint and I'll leave it like that.
Note two: So about this one-shot, it is base around Mosura's dream. (A DREAM, please keep that in mind) While Rodan's dream was about dealing with loss and his dark fantasy of Mosura coming back to him, Mosura's dream is her dealing with the guilt from all her mistakes throughout the Fire Series. The three main things she regrets are: Not stopping her King from leaving her in the beginning of "Playing with Fire", allowing herself to fall for temptation, and of course, preventing the fight between Rodan and her King. She's literally arguing with her guilty conscience in the story.
Note three: Rated M for mental terror, a slight bit of gore and flirtation. I was inspired by the song Wait by Maroon 5. (The music video gave me the idea how to write this) Anyway, I hope you like it. Enjoy.
Ashes
~The past and the pain burst into flames
And consumed her.
Then she rose from the ashes;
Forged by fire,
The winged warrior.
Undefeatable~
~Unknown
Turn around, please, I'm begging you…
Leaning against the volcano she waited for him to respond. Her King was in trouble and he refused to let her help him. Something was going on in his mind that it was making their connection unravel. He wouldn't sleep and was suffering horrible hallucinations. He was actually harming himself just to make them stop. He hurt her too, but she knew he didn't mean it. And now with him being tired, weak, and wounded he was going to leave.
Please….you have no idea the events that are about to unfold if you leave. She whispered with tears in her eyes.
(It's a sad shame you didn't try harder?)
With his back facing her, his head low with his shoulders slouching, he didn't bother to look at her. He was halfway in the water and would have gone all the way down if it wasn't for her begging. She flew away from the small volcano island, but was smart enough to keep her distance. With him being so timid, he could easily strike her again if she tried to touch him.
Don't leave me alone…She begged.
(It makes you wonder if he didn't leave, you would have never met the fire demon with such passion)
She can suddenly feel a warm presence behind her. She knew who it was because he would visit her dreams every time she let the guilt of her mistakes overwhelm her. Every time she would have this particular dream, she would hope her King would turn around before the fire demon could take her away. She can feel those sharp, hot claws slightly gripping her wings before slowly trailing them down to her shoulders.
Her King took a few more steps deeper into the water before letting out a loud sigh. I'm sorry, my Queen. I'll make it up to you one day. I don't want to lose you. This is the only way.
No! She screamed and tried to fly over to him only to be held back. The smell of smoke filled her snout as her wings started to burn. No, don't do this! Large talons wrapped around her back in a tight grip. Please! Wait! Turn around and look at me!
~Oh, let me apologize
I'll make up, make up, make up for all those times
Your love, I don't wanna lose.
I'm beggin, beggin, beggin, I'm begging you.
Wait, can you turn around, can you turn around
Just wait, can we work this out, can we work this out?
Just wait, can you come here please? 'Cause I want to be with you~
(Don't act like you didn't want it)
Her whole body stiffen from feeling those claws cupping each side of her face, slightly burning her soft, white fur while his large beak clamp down of her antennas. Those large wings with fire burning and dripping with lava started to wrap themselves around her making the air around her hot and dry. The last thing she saw was the dull spikes of her King going underwater before being taken away. Leaving behind a cloud of ashes in the sky….
She didn't even try to resist as he pinned her to the building. She realized she was back in the ruined city. Alone with the fire demon. How in the world did all of this happen?
….She was lonely, hurt and slightly angry at her King for leaving her in such a mess. He was lonely too so it would make sense that two lonely kaijus would spark up a friendship. It would make sense some attraction would form from said friendship, but her loyalty to her King clouded her mind and blocked her from the fire demon's charm….or so she thought…
(He was there for you when you needed someone the most.)
She was lifted up, hearing those large talons gripping onto the wall of the building. The sound of metal twisting and glass shattering echo throughout their surroundings. Her wings flared up high into the sky which he touched with his nails before using his wings to cocoon themselves for total privacy. With yellow eyes staring deep into her blue ones, he brought out his tongue and licked her cheek.
…..When her King returned, she didn't think she would miss the fire demon as much as she did. She was so used to being around him it was hard not to miss his company, his appearance….his flirty attention. It was hard to explain, but the next thing she knew she was sneaking out at night to see him (His idea not hers). His flirtation was getting more frequent, bolder, and more flattering…...
(And you loved every single moment of it)
I did not…..so stop putting stuff in my head!
Her Guilty conscience snickered causing it to echo in her dream.
You're so soft He whispered. Running his tongue down her neck. The wetness of his tongue made her fur clump, revealing a few of her King's teeth holes in her skin. She should be angry, how dare he touch the top alpha's mate. Yet, how dare she allow it to happen.
You're beautiful….
….How dare she make the first move. She was the one who went in for a kiss in which he return the affection wildly and with intense heat. She clench from remembering that sinful night when she surrender to temptation. Their fighting was loud and violent, he confessed his love to her and she was flooded with guilt and despair because she so badly wanted to hear those words, but they came out of the wrong male. Everything about that night was wrong!...
(You enjoyed it. Your first time full of fire and lust)
….It was wrong, wrong, wrong, and the guilt was destroying her. It wasn't a fling to him, it wasn't empty sex as a way to get it out of their system. He loved her and it was his way of showing it to her…..
The tip of his tongue rested on her mouth, waiting for hers to open so she can have a savory taste. He told her one time, she tasted like sweet nectar from those flowers she would eat. So sweet and sticky.
I can't….She whispered. Please make it stop.
Do you really want me to stop? The fire demon asked.
She shut her eyes tight, trying to force herself to wake up. She can feel his claw tracing the outline of her face. His way to comfort her whenever she was sad.
You're not real. I'm only reliving this because of the guilt. I should've pushed you away.
(But you didn't)
We both knew it was wrong. She said, to both the fire demon and her guilty conscience.
I love you….and I know you love me as well. Rodan whispered.
I'm sorry….
(You used him. Maybe the parasite was right about you)
Oh don't bring her into this.
(Nothing, but a two-timing-)
She looked up at the fire demon, feeling the building they were leaning on crumbling from their weight. I really am….I do love you, but I don't want to hurt my King…
(Speaking of your lovely King)
~Can we talk for a moment
Got these feelings that I'm tired of holding on
Wasn't trying to get wasted
I needed more than three for four to say this…~
Rodan growled and the next thing she knew she was shoved backwards crashing right through the building only to fall down an endless black hole. She tried to scream, but no sound would come out and she couldn't get her wings to move. She looked up to see her wings in front of her, burning once again and leaving ashes behind. For a moment she thought she was going to fall forever till she landed hard on her back on a cold surface. The pain was horrible and she was so scared she didn't want to open her eyes.
And you say I bite too hard…
She opened her eyes to find herself back in her underground cave and looked up to see her King looking down at her with a sly grin and a wounded tongue. Blood was already seeping out of the bite mark she inflicted upon him. His arms had her wings pinned down to the floor with his claws caressing the fur around her face and shoulders. Her heart started to slow down from the mere sight of his glowing golden eyes and smile. Finally, the nightmare was over.
She snickered...your blood is so tasty….
She lifted herself up as much as she can and started to nuzzle his snout with hers while letting her thin long tongue snake out of her mouth to twirl around his. She loves these intimate moments with her King and blood exchange was one of her favorite kinds of pleasure. She ran her tongue across his sharp teeth causing a small rumble to escape his mouth. She wrapped her long arms around his neck so she could hold him tighter. The ground started to shake thanks to his tail wagging behind him. He gave her a bloody kiss before pushing her down to the ground again.
If you are allowed to bite so can I...He said, licking his sharp teeth. Giving them a thin coat of the red liquid.
She smirked when he brought his teeth down to nip at her soft skin. Letting out a small trill she arched her back for a deeper feel of those sharp points while his nails gripped her sides tighter. What a nice way to wake up after a horrible dream she thought while closing her eyes from the building pleasure. She suddenly felt him pulling away while running his claws down her body.
Don't leave...She teased….I want you to bite me….
The air around her started to grow hot and she flinched when his claws made her skin burn as they ran back up to her shoulders. Gripping her hard enough to cut her flesh, she snapped her eyes wide open to see the fire demon smiling.
Stretch out that neck and I will.
She found herself on Rodan's island again in the same position from their one night together and she let out a high pitch screamed. No, no, no, not again. She thought.
(You said you would never hurt your King)
Rodan started to nuzzle her tenderly while holding his grip on her. The hot sensation started to make her body shudder. Her wings caught on fire again and she tried to flap them hard enough to extinguish it, but it only made the fire grow bigger, hotter and colorful. The ashes begin to rain down on them like ugly flower petals. She clenched her teeth when she felt Rodan pressing himself closer to her body. He position himself and she can feel him out and expose. He wanted her.
(But you gave yourself to someone else.)
It was a mistake!
(He didn't see it as a mistake.)
I love you my Queen. Rodan whispered.
She happened to turn to her left to see the view of the ocean, but the everything else was covered in darkest. She felt like the wind was knocked out of her when she saw a pair of golden eyes looking back at her with hurt and betrayal in them.
(Did you know he was up all night waiting for you)
The eyes turned away and she could hear him leaving. No! Wait, please wait! I'm sorry, it was a mistake!
She tried to push Rodan away so she could chase after her King, but he held on to her to nuzzle her. .
(He knew what you were doing. You broke your precious King's heart)
It was a stupid mistake, don't leave me, please!
~Oh, let me apologize
I'll make up, make up, make up for all those times
Your love, I don't wanna lose.
I'm beggin, beggin, beggin, I'm begging you.
Wait, can you turn around, can you turn around
Just wait, can we work this out, can we work this out?
Just wait, can you come here please? 'Cause I want to be with you...~
She was pulled up from the ground and could feel those fiery wings wrapping themselves around her for a tight embrace. The same kind of hug Rodan did when they were saying their last good-bye to one another a few days ago. He was so warm it was so hard not to relax and fall for his wonderful touch.
Don't call it a mistake… He whimpered while hugging her tighter. You said don't regret me….you said you love me as well.
(You hurt them both)
Don't do this to me. We talked about this. I'm sorry. I really am, but I know where my heart belongs to...
…..Leave him…..
The fire from his wings started to spin around them and she swore if she didn't get away they would burn her down into black ash. The heat was unbearable and it was getting harder to breathe due to his smoke.
(You're a bad little Queen. How could you hurt the two males who love you the most)
Stop….stop talking to me! She thought as she struggled to get out of Rodan's embrace.
You obviously didn't love him because you kept coming back to me...Rodan whispered.
Don't be ridiculous...I will never…..She pushed him away….LEAVE HIM!
The force from her push sent her flying backwards and she was once again in pure darkest. She landed hard on the floor and struggled to get herself up. She was burnt all over, but for some reason could feel the heat and crackling sounds coming from her wings. She lifted her right wing up to see it on fire still. As if it had a mind of it's own it started to spread wildly around her. It didn't hurt for some reason, it fact the colors were down right beautiful. A mixture of red, yellow and orange, but the heat was still there. The intense glow of the heat nearly blinded her as the fire snaked around her body and over to her other wing. The fire flew up, forming a shape of the fire demon looking down at her with empty eyes. It flew down and wrapped the fire around her neck and she started to gag.
(Too bad you couldn't resist)
(So fickle, you are...because you had to love them both)
She tried to shake off the flames because the heat was getting to her when out of nowhere a small blue flame appeared right in front of her and started to grow. The blue one started to take shape of her beloved King with a firm look on its face. The fire around her neck grip tighter as if telling the blue one to back off, she's mine now. She felt like she was losing it and just wanted to curl up in a ball and end it all. Just let the fire burn her into nothing because that's all she could see herself as. Nothing.
Please….stop….make it all stop! She cried while watching the fire burn away what left of her beautiful wings. Ashes flew everywhere, swirling around the darkest like dying fireflies.
(Don't close your eyes. Don't you want to see what you have creative?)
(If you didn't leave the fire demon that morning, maybe they could've avoided that dreadful fight.)
Her eyes snapped open only to see the blue fire colliding with the orange one in one big burst. She let out a loud scream as she started to suffocate on the smoke and flames. She couldn't take it anymore, but it felt like all she could do is scream and scream and scream till her throat was raw and hoarse. She started to fall again and could now understand how her King felt in this predicament. She did watch him fall out of the sky in a big ball of fire while the False King floated above with their evil sinister grins. Was she going to break her back too or just burn till there was nothing left of her, but her guilt. She collided against a large mass of water and went under without even fighting it. The fire went out instantly, but it left her body covered in wounds. She quickly swam up to the surface and popped her head out gasping for fresh air. Where was she this time?
It didn't take long for her to realize she was back on her island and right in front of her was her King and Rodan fighting just like before. She was reliving the fight, the shear guilt of not stopping it from getting out of hand. She never thought Rodan could do so much damage like he did. She never thought her King would bashed his fist right through the fire demon's chest in attempt to crush his heart. She never thought she would have to use her own body to shield her King from a fatal blow by the other male kaiju who told her he loves her. No, she did not want to live through this again, it's even worse now since she knew what was about to happen. The thought of seeing her King lying in the water with blood pouring out of his gills made her sick. She remember herself screaming at Rodan not to do it. To show mercy, but in the end she was sent back to her egg.
(You can't stop it. You know what is about to happen)
I have to try. She whispered.
(What's done is done, now live with the guilt!)
Her King's back was facing her again as he was struggling to keep Rodan's neck clamp tightly in his mouth. His back plates were glowing bright from the anger and adrenaline. Rodan's wings were flapping everywhere to try to get away while slicing her King's chest with his large talons.
Exhausted, she lowered her head, Please stop…..
(Why was it so hard to choose?)
Rodan swatted her King in the face with his claws…
(Why did you let yourself go so far with Rodan)
Don't do this, please….She said, raising her voice a little more.
(How could you let all this happened)
Her King let go of Rodan's neck and headbutted him in the face.
Listen to me!...this is all my fault….turn around and look at me! She cried out now with tears clouding her vision.
With blood running down his forehead and dizzy from the hit, her King pushed Rodan off of him causing the fire demon to fall into the shallow water. Her King planted his foot down on Rodan's chest and she knew this is when the fire demon will go after the gills.
Stop...stop….please, stop….I can't take it anymore!….She shouted, but was ignored.
As if time slowed down around her, she leaped up from the water as Rodan prepared himself to attack with his claws out in front. STOOOP! She screamed and flew right into her King's face. Clutching on his face with her claws while nuzzling his snout with her face. Not a single sound could be heard other than her tears dripping onto her King's nose. Everything around her stood still including the two males in her life.
~You say I'm just another bad guy
You say I've done a lot of things I can't undo
Before you tell me for the late time
I'm beggin', beggin', beggin', beggin' you..~
Please stop….She cried, shaking from the anxiety and guilt. Please don't fight, I don't want you to get hurt….I'm the bad kaiju here….I know I've done a lot of things I can't undo, but before you tell me to leave….I'm begging you….don't do this!
It's too late, Mosura. Her King whispered in a sad tone. We all know what's going to happen thanks to you.
She heard a loud roar coming from behind her and she turned around to see Rodan's large talons coming towards her. NOOO!
~Wait, can you turn around, can you turn around?
Just wait, can we work this out, can we work this out?
Just wait, can you come here please? 'Cause I want to be with you?~
~Wait by Maroon 5
She screamed so loud it caused her King to snap out of his own slumber and accidentally blowing out a blast of his atomic breath. The blast made the cave shake for a moment causing a few dirt clumps and rock to fall from the ceiling and some of the little plants to catch on fire.
What the hell!? He shouted and noticed his Queen shaking in her sleep while muttering things out loud.
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU! PLEASE STOP FIGHTING!
Sharp pain began to attack his mind making it feel like his skull was about to crack in half. She started to thrash around and he could see tears coming out of her eyes despite them being shut tight. He placed his hand on her back and started to shake her.
Hey, hey...Mosura, wake up! He said bewildered.
Her eyes snapped open and she looked down at herself as if she was checking for wounds. Panting, she lowered her wings down to examine them as well….
Mosura?
She turned her head to face him only to throw herself into his arms for a tight hug. Her wings flare up as high as she can make them while curling her little body as close as she can get to his upper chest. He kept himself perfectly still till he heard her sobbing while burying her face around his neck area.
Um….I take it you had a bad dream….He asked which made her cry even harder.
I'm sorry, my King….I'm truly sorry. I don't want to burn anymore. I don't want to become a pile of ash!
Wait...what?! He asked, prying her off of him because she was cutting off his air supply. What are you talking about?
You left me for being so stubborn and I begged you not to go. You were there, he was there and you two wouldn't stop fighting and...and..and...I was on fire….I was burning up….I couldn't stop it from happening...I couldn't stop you two from killing each other….I couldn't….couldn't…..She took a deep breath and more tears poured down from her eyes. How could you forgive me for what I did!?
Mosura, for the love of Kaiju, calm yourself down before you make both our heads explode. He said, referring to their connection. His head was pounding so badly his vision started to blur.
She took a deep breath and let it out in a shaking format. She wiped her eyes and just leaned her forehead against his chest. He could feel her little antennas brushing the bottom of his chin as she took a few more deep breaths to keep her composer. I'm a horrible kaiju…..She whispered.
Not the way he wanted to wake up too especially in the middle of the night and with her sobbing. It's only been a few days since they reconnected and her saying good-bye to the bird and she's been having night terrors ever since. Though this would be the first time waking up to her screaming and thrashing around. Normally it would be him doing it and her calming him down.
What makes you think that? He asked.
I couldn't stop you from leaving me….I was so weak to his advances…..I couldn't stop you two from fighting….You almost died….I'm a horrible kaiju...how could you look at me the same way after everything? She cried while shaking her head over and over again.
He sighed, My Queen, you're letting this guilt take control of you. The more you think about it the more it's going to consume you.
She lifted her head up to look at him. Don't steal my lines I would tell you! I'm being serious here!
And so am I. Call it role reversal if you want. He said, rolling his eyes.
Well, it's nice to see you so calm and find my anguish so entertaining!
I'm not. I just know how to control my emotions better than you. Why is it still bothering you anyway, I told you I forgive you and you promise me it will never happen again.
She looked away….I'm just feeling guilty about it because...maybe one day you will wake up and find me repulsive...tried to get even with me for what I did...
He huffed and tilted her head back to face him. Do you recall all the times you would have to wake me up due to my night terrors?
Yes….they're not that easy to forget...She whispered.
Right….and I would tell you it was because of all the guilt I would feel from my past mistakes. How can you say you're a horrible kaiju knowing all the stuff I did in my lifetime.
But I hurt you in the worst way….
And I hurt you in other ways, but you still forgave me. You forgave me thousands of times before so I think you have to right to be forgiven as well. The problem here is that you need to forgive yourself….
Finally a tiny smile form at the corner of her mouth. That's my line as well. I would tell you that so many times you need to forgive yourself for all the bad things you did.
Well, maybe you should take your own advice and don't let it destroy you. He said, his eyes halfway closing from the sudden wake up.
She nodded and whispered, I know I'm asking so much, but please don't leave me.
I'm not going anywhere. He said, while pulling her close to him again. She laid down between his arms and could feel his chin resting on top of her back for a warm snug. Now let's go back to sleep and no more night terrors, alright?
She nodded and rested her head on his arm. Are we going to be OK? She whispered.
Closing his eyes, he nodded, Yes ...I did promise you nothing will tear us apart ... Now close your eyes and sleep.
She shifted a couple of times to get comfortable and whispered. I love you….
He slightly opened his eyes and could see a few pieces of plants still burning from his blast in front of him. He stayed up for a little while longer to make sure his Queen went back to sleep and didn't squirm around from another nightmare. He watched the fire slowly burn out, turning the plants into a pile of ash with a few little embers here and there.
(I don't want to burn anymore! I don't want to become a pile of ash!) His Queen's frightened words echoed in his mind.
I love you too. He whispered and blew the ashes away from their view…..
~Life is an ember
of a burning heart.
Waiting to be turned into
Ashes of memories.~
~Blessedwithsins
MQB: Stay wonderful Dear readers, Please review.