Putting on my old identity was like slipping into a coat that no longer quite fit. My first year at Hogwarts had required that I always be on my guard, and that I keep a distance between myself and everyone else.
I'd been creating an image of myself as someone dangerous and competent; I was that, but there was more to me than that.
At first I'd been alert for attacks that never came, but as the summer had progressed I found myself relaxing a bit. I'd never completely relaxed; the possibility that they'd wait until the middle of the summer to attack had occurred to me more than once.
Yet it never happened.
It had been amazing just to lie on the beach and simply be in the moment, even if I'd been amusing myself by having the crabs under the water stage mock battles with each other out of the sight of everyone.
These were experiences I wouldn't have had even if I'd stayed in my own world. There I'd have been working to repair the damage Scion had done to the world, assuming that people hadn't just abandoned it altogether. Even if Scion had never attacked, I'd have been busy working for the Protectorate.
Even if they'd let me go to college, the summers would have been filled with work. I never would have had months of uninterrupted rest and relaxation.
If it wasn't for the fact that I was likely never going to see anyone I cared about from my old life ever again, I'd have thought that this was a blessing. It was the first time in years that I'd gotten to relax and just be a kid.
I'd spent my days with the Grangers, and my nights practicing fighting with Lupin. He was enormously better than the students I'd fought, and I'd lost more times than I'd won. I hadn't cheated, because there, in the silence, I was free to lose. I didn't have a reputation to maintain, and failure wouldn't result in me being in more danger.
I could finally relax a little, and actually be myself.
I'd been free to laugh, and play, and be the child that I hadn't had a chance to be even the first time I'd been through this. It should have been boring; most teenagers found spending time with children to be tiresome. But Hermione wasn't most children, and the Rangers were actually interesting people.
They'd taken us to museums that were actually interesting, and to see things that I'd never seen before.
It had been a shock to realize that beaches in France were topless, but it hadn't seemed to bother Hermione, so I assumed that she'd experienced it before. It wasn't mandatory, though, which I was happy about.
Hermione had even stopped having nightmares. Apparently the Death Eater attack had affected her more than I'd thought, because I'd heard her moaning in her sleep for the first couple of weeks. The nightmares had become less frequent with time, and within a month they were gone.
"At least we weren't attacked on the train platform," I muttered to Hermione.
She was sitting in a compartment in the middle of the train, along with Neville and Millie and Harry. I hadn't seen Tracey.
"The Ministry has tightened up security this year," Hermione said. "I'm not surprised at all."
The aurors in the first and last cars, with two more riding on top of the train certainly seemed alert. I wondered if they'd taken pepper up potions or some other kind of stimulant.
"The Death Eaters have been quiet all summer," I said. "Probably regrouping and reevaluating their plans."
It's what I would have done if I'd been Voldemort. The kind of losses he'd already taken weren't sustainable, not given the limited population of Wizards. I'd have probably started using imperiused patsies and maybe hired foreign mercenaries.
My guess was that he'd spent the summer cleaning house. I'd have been imperiusing as many people as I could to find out who the traitor was; someone like him wouldn't have been able to believe that an eleven year old child had been able to slaughter so many Death Eaters, so his first and natural assumption would have been that someone had helped me.
He'd assume that traitors had given away the information about the attack on the train, and that someone had helped me slaughter his men. Given that Moody's men seemed more interested in capture than killing, that would suggest that it was either a third party, or someone within his own ranks who was getting rid of competition.
If that was the case, it might mean that someone was preparing for a coupe within the Death Eaters, and something like that would be terrifying for Voldemort.
The name he'd chosen for himself revealed his own fear. Flight from Death?
Why call yourself something that meant you were running. Why not simply call yourself Death?
Thanatos was a classic, although that could also mean a desire for death.
The truth was, I wasn't good at coming up with names, but sooner or later people would have named me something. Of course, if you were terrifying enough, even Bob could become a name to be feared.
"Are you excited about the school year?" Hermione asked.
"Personally, I think Lupin could have taught me everything I needed to know," I said. "But I can't leave you and Harry by yourselves."
I wouldn't saddle Lupin with the task of raising me either. I'd come to respect him over the summer, even on the days before the full moon when he became irritable and snappish.
The fact that he'd had to leave once a month hadn't escaped the Grangers, but they hadn't asked questions.
I'd given him a few tips about raising funds in the muggle world with magic. He'd told me that they were in a gray area, legally speaking, but he'd looked thoughtful.
It would be easy enough for him to buy salvaged cars and repair them magically. He'd never be able to sell them as new, now without magically changing memories and documentation. He assured me that actually would be illegal. Even as salvage could easily sell them for ten times the price he bought them for, possibly as much as fifteen hundred pounds a transaction.
Finding the cars would be harder in this pre-Internet world, but I'd suggested that he find a Squib car dealer or auto mechanic. If he couldn't find one, then convince one to be his front man, to do all the leg work and take half the profits.
At five hundred galleons each, he might be able to make up for some of the income that the Ministry and Wizarding society had cheated him out of.
I'd had some other ideas, but Lupin had assured me that most of them would be highly illegal and end up sending him to Azkaban.
The door to the compartment slid open.
Pansy looked in.
"Taylor!" she said, her voice artificially sweet. "I'm surprised to see that you came back this year!"
We'd heard through the grapevine that people had withdrawn their children from school in the aftermath of the train incident. I could understand the impulse, but unless they were going to leave the country, it was even less safe in their homes.
"I'm surprised that you passed last year," I said mildly. "Weren't you worried about not passing?"
She flushed.
"At least I'm not a werewolf," she said.
"What?" I stared at her.
"You and Potter and Granger disappeared during the werewolf attack," she says. "Everybody is just horrified about how the boy-who-lived was infected."
From the look on Neville's face, he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or insulted that people weren't talking about him too.
Harry scowled. "That's a lie! It wasn't werewolves at all! It was the Death Eaters and Voldemort!"
Pansy shook her head.
"Poor, deluded little boy. You just don't want to admit the horrible truth. It was in the papers over the summer, so everybody knows about it. That's probably why so many kids aren't coming back to school They don't want to be in class with three werewolves."
"Say Pansy," I asked. "Is werewolfism contagious when you are in human form?"
"What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.
"Well, if I were to bite you right here, and right now, would you become a werewolf, or maybe something halfway, like a were-poodle?"
Harry grinned. "She looks like the kind who'd become a poodle. Wanna try?"
Pansy sniffed. "You can't make fun of me... werewolves aren't real people."
"Whoever said I was a real person in the first place?" I asked. "Do you think that the boggarts are all out of the castle? Do you think some of them might have slipped onto the train?"
I smiled at her, channeling my best Jack Slash grin. I cocked my head, and began walking toward her with a jerky motion.
Her face paled and she staggered back, falling onto her rear. She stumbled to her feat and slammed the door shut, and we heard the sounds of footsteps racing off into the distance.
No one else came to disturb us, but as I closed my eyes and listened in to the conversations in the other part of the train, it amazed me to find that the students had bought into the Ministry line that it had been werewolves who had attacked the Hogwarts Express.
They really did believe that I and my little group were werewolves, and even Harry's House was uncertain about dealing with him.
The door opened again, and Ron Weasley slipped inside.
"You'd tell me you were a werewolf, wouldn't you mate?" he asked Harry. "When my brothers told me, I thought they were lying like usual, but I heard it from Romilda Vane and a couple of Hufflepuffs."
"It's a lie," Harry said tiredly.
"Then why didn't they let you have any visitors over the summer?" Ron asked. "I tried to send you a letter, but they were all returned."
"The Death Eaters were trying to kill me," Harry said. "So the Ministry was sending all my mail back just in case something cursed got through. And it was Death Eaters that attacked the train, not werewolves."
I wondered if anyone had tried to send me any packages over the summer. If they had, it had probably been a bomb.
I'd have to find out whatever spell kept us from getting our mail and learn it myself. If I could use that and if I could find some way to evade the Trace, then I'd be able to slip into the muggle world entirely, and I'd be able to do whatever I wanted.
Lupin had taught me the disillusionment spell over the summer. He'd been reluctant, but when I'd explained to him that it might save lives, he'd finally agreed.
I think he'd caught the underlying meaning; I might not have to kill so many people if I had other options for escape.
That was the law in the Muggle world, after all. Self-Defense only applied if you had no way to escape. If you did, it was your duty to try.
Listening in to the children in the other cars for the next few hours, I realized that there was an element of unease to many of their conversations. They spoke more quietly this year, and it was only with their closest friends that they spoke about overheard conversations between their parents.
Almost everyone had parents who'd discussed pulling them out of school. Many of them had parents who'd talked about leaving the country. That was less true of the Slytherins, of course, but even among them there were some. They were quieter about it.
I'd taken to checking my foe glass all summer; I'd checked it shortly before packing today. It had looked like Avery and several figures I hadn't recognized were closer than they had been all summer. They weren't so close as for me to be terribly worried.
It was dark by the time we reached our stop.
A prefect stopped by our compartment.
"You don't go with the first years," he said. "You go to the left, where there are carriages."
I nodded.
We disembarked.
I still felt uncomfortable letting the House Elves manage my luggage; part of me was afraid that people would interfere with it before the House Elves got to it. I'd just have to go over everything thoroughly when I got to my rooms.
"Are those thestrals?" Hermione asked, blinking.
I'd mucked their stalls out enough to know more about them that I wanted to.
"There's nothing there," Harry said. "Are they pulled my magic?"
"Thestrels," Hermione said. "Only people who have seen death can see them."
For some reason everyone turned and looked at me.
"How can you not see them?" I asked. "You were all at duelling club last year."
"He didn't die until later," Hermione said. "And none of us saw that."
"What about you?" I asked Harry.
"With the Acromantulas?" Harry asked. "It was dark. I didn't see anything except a guy with his jaw blown off."
"So you've seriously been hanging around me for months, and you've never seen anybody die."
"It seems incredible, but no," Hermione said. "Some blood on a broomstick doesn't count when it comes to thestrels."
As we approached, I stepped up beside one of the thestrels. I patted its side.
"They know ye," Hagrid said, walking up.
"Aren't you watching the first years?" I asked.
He shook his head. "The Aurors have taken over. Wanna make sure the sprogs get to where they're going. New security this year."
I nodded.
"You be careful this year, Taylor," he said. "I've heard that it isn't just the Death Eaters that have it out for ye. There's people who'd love to see ye in Azkaban."
Not all of them were Death Eaters either. Some of them were sympathizers, and others were just uncomfortable with the way I interfered with the status quo. Unfortunately, some of them had the power to make problems for me.
"Thanks, Hagrid," I said.
I patted the Thestrel on the side.
"I'd be happy to help you with these," I said. "As long as it isn't poop duty."
"There won't be any of that this year," Hagrid said. "The Ministry is serious about security, and there's a curfew after dark. No student is to be out on the grounds."
I nodded.
After what had happened last year, I'd had no intentions of being out where Death Eaters could take potshots at me. It had been easy enough for one to apparate outside whatever protections the school had and then walk onto the grounds.
"Let's get you in the castle, where it's safe," he said.
As we made our way up the trail, my bugs smelled disillusioned people all along the trail. I suspected that these were the aurors who were providing security, but I couldn't be sire, so I kept my wand in my hand until we reached the castle.
It was a relief to step inside the door; a single Killing Curse from a disillusioned imperiused patsy could have ended me before I'd had a chance to respond. The only reason they likely hadn't tried it was because of the aurors, and because they would have assumed I could see the attack in advance with my seer powers.
As I sat through the opening feast, everything felt unreal. The summer itself had already felt like a dream, and getting back into my role as the person who everyone feared didn't feel like something I was going to relish.
Partially it was because I hadn't been suppressing my emotions much over the summer. I'd been getting better over the school year, but it had been terribly slow.
I found myself tired as I went to my room; Tracey still hadn't shown up, so I could only assume that her parents had planned to home school her.
Mildred didn't know anything about it; they hadn't been in contact all summer, since her parents had decided to take her to Venice for vacation. I had the impression that this wasn't their normal way of doing things; they had been afraid and had friends in that area that people didn't know about.
Despite my exhaustion, I began going through my trunks methodically. The last thing I needed was some cursed item giving me an incurable and fatal condition. Cursed items could be some of the deadliest things around; I'd heard that there were curses that no wizard had the cure for.
So it was with some trepidation that I found a box in my trunk, one that I hadn't put there.
It was plain and nondescript, about ten inches on a side. It had been stuffed haphazardly into my chest, which was now filled with all kinds of clothes that Lupin had gotten for me over the summer. I levitated the box and put it on the floor.
"Get Snape," I said tersely.
Lupin wouldn't have left me a box without telling me; he was sensible enough to know that I'd never open one without knowing ho it was from. That meant that this was likely from someone who didn't mean me well.
I stared at the box. I had an uneasy feeling I knew what was inside; my bugs could smell rotting meat inside. The fact that it smelled tantalizing when filtered through their senses was vaguely disturbing.
Snape arrived shortly afterwards.
"This box shouldn't have been in my trunk," I said. "And I haven't learned cursebreaking yet."
He nodded grimly.
He spent the next ten minutes performing a series of spells and actions that I watched carefully. Was this what cursebreaking was, and if so, was he any good at it?
Eventually, he said, "I have detected no curses on the box, nor poison on its surface. I will lift the lid off now."
I pulled out my wand and cast a shield spell.
He levitated the lid of the box off the wand, and floated it to its side. A moment later he leaned forward; if there was hesitation he hid it well.
His face turned grim.
"I fear that I must summon the Headmaster," he said.
I leaned forward.
Beside me, I could hear Millicent begin to scream.
Tracey's head was in the box, staring up at us, an expression of agony and horror permanently imprinted on her face.