Day 2

Shizuo yawned as he stepped through the school gates. He'd barely gotten any sleep the previous night. Thoughts of what happened after he and Izaya had left the orphanage plagued his mind. What did this mean? Why had it happened? Did this make them more than friends now? They had kissed! He had kissed 'the flea.' His annoying yet persistent friend. Neither one had expected it, and Izaya running away was his first clue. If anything, the raven was more shocked than he apparently was at the time, but damn it, that kiss felt so right, so - good. Not that Shizuo had a kiss to compare it to. That kiss was his first, and until now, he never pictured his first kiss to be with a male. Shizuo wasn't naïve; he'd been noticing both genders for a few years now during middle school. No one knew, not even his brother. His parents already thought a demon resided inside him, so it was taboo to tell them he liked girls and guys.

Turning to the locker room because he had to bring his first report to his homeroom teacher before heading off toward the orphanage, Shizuo headed toward the stairs. Just as he took the first step, he glanced up and gasped. "I-Izaya," Shizuo stammered. He immediately noticed how off the raven avoided his gaze, and Shizuo bet he felt just as awkward. Shizuo thought about what had happened between Shinra and Izaya after the festival; they hadn't spoken in days, and he felt so bad for that. Shizuo was surprised to find he didn't want the same thing to happen with him and Izaya, but Izaya had kissed him back, so there had to be some mutual feelings because Izaya would not have hesitated to stop the kiss.

Shizuo was unsure who initiated it first, but he thought it probably wasn't important. Shizuo felt guilty because Shinra was his friend, and he knew he'd broken some kind of friendship code.

Without a grunt of reply, Izaya sidestepped to pass him. Was that how it would be, the raven just wouldn't speak to him and completely avoid him when possible? Shizuo refused to let that happen because that kiss meant something. Anger took over when Izaya took the last step. Gripping the banister, the words left his mouth before he realized. "Do you avoid everyone who kisses you?" Shizuo turned to make a grab for Izaya's wrist. "Izaya, wait - I didn't mean that!" Izaya was already gone, and this time, Shizuo didn't blame him. "Shit!" Inclining his head with a sigh of regret, he continued up the stairs. "I totally screwed that up."

…

Izaya ran from the school's grounds to the orphanage and stopped by the street corner. Izaya leaned against the wall to catch his breath and not hide that Shizuo's words hurt. Angrily wiping away the tears from his eyes, he pulled himself together and continued toward the building.

Izaya was up all night thinking about what had happened. Shizuo might have thought his avoidance was due to shock or just plain spitefulness, but the truth was that he wanted to avoid Shizuo because he was confused and unsure about his feelings and what that kiss truly meant. You didn't kiss someone like that if there wasn't any physical attraction or even an emotional one. Izaya had no idea what to do or what to think. When they kissed, his first instinct was to run away; it was a natural defense mechanism he'd developed over time to avoid any sort of closeness.

The situation had been the same with Shinra. Izaya had tried his best to avoid becoming friends with him initially, but the boy was too insistent, and after a while, Izaya realized how important their friendship was.

The sudden thoughts of Shinra made him sigh. Izaya couldn't believe how ignorant he was that he didn't notice his best friend had fallen for him. When Shinra kissed him on the Ferris wheel, he didn't run away - not that he could have anyway - but rather, he'd chased after Shinra to try and talk about it. Izaya realized what he felt toward Shizuo was beyond friendship because when Shizuo had kissed him, Izaya ran away.

What had changed between them? Or had it always been there? Izaya blamed the festival entirely and was actually beginning to hate its memory.

Izaya found himself at the orphanage's gates and pushed open the gate, and walked the path leading up to the building.

Izaya thought about the boy who he had met in the playground yesterday. He had been different from all the other kids. They acted accordingly, laughing and playing around, trying to make the best of their situation, not thinking about their previous home life - if they ever had one. Ren, however, was set so far apart from them, making Izaya feel bad for him. Izaya knew he probably shouldn't get attached to an individual in a place like this, but Ren was always sad and just wanted someone to give him attention. Izaya knew it must be hard to give one kid out of fifteen more attention. Smiling a little, he opened the door. I guess that's why we're here to help.

"Izaya!" came a shout from behind. Izaya didn't turn to acknowledge the call of his name. Shizuo stopped once he'd reached his side. "Ready for the day?" Izaya couldn't help but roll his eyes at the lame attempt at the casual conversation he had ever witnessed.

"We're classmates while we're here, and I don't want the kids or the carers to feel awkward, but we're nothing beyond this building, so don't get the wrong idea."

Shizuo frowned, trying not to get pissed off again. He grabbed the door before it hit him in the face when Izaya swung it open. "You can't possibly believe that," he said through gritted teeth.

Izaya turned to him, eyes narrowed, but a hint of denial flickered in what he said next. "The kiss meant nothing. It happened and I'm over it." Izaya stepped through the corridor without another word.

Shizuo growled and clenched his fists. "Fine. Have it your way, flea."

…

It was cold outside, so the children were playing indoors. Izaya and Shizuo found them inside the large play area, spread out in little groups. Each group played a different game: some played with toy cars, some played with bricks, and others drew. Ayaka and Hana were with them, standing off to the side. Ayaka turned to the boys with a smile and walked toward them. "Good morning, and welcome back. The kids have been looking forward to seeing you again." She gestured around the room. "Please, feel free to interact. I'm sure they would love to involve you." The two nodded.

Shizuo knelt down with the group playing with the bricks. It was the same three he'd let climb all over him yesterday. He smiled when they looked happy to see him, so he sat crossed-legged on the floor within their circle and started adding bricks when they were passed to him. "What are we building?" he asked with mild amusement.

The girl smiled brightly and added another brick to the already long tower. "Don't you know what it is Mr?" she asked with a small hand on her hip.

Shizuo chuckled at her little try for an attitude. "Sorry, I guess I don't."

She huffed and shook her head, but Shizuo knew she was only playing around. "It's Tokyo tower!"

Shizuo looked at the bricks. "Oh. Yeah. I see it now." He really didn't, but he wouldn't upset them by telling them that. Grabbing a few bricks of his own, he began to place them at the bottom. "You know, the tower should have a much wider base, and the bricks should be built inwards so the whole tower doesn't fall over. What do you think?"

The three kids cheered and agreed immediately to help Shizuo from the base at the bottom. "Yay! This way, we can make the tower pointy like it is in real life!" the girl said excitedly, causing Shizuo to chuckle.

Izaya glanced at the corner of the room where he played with toy cars. The kids had grabbed his attention before he could see Ren, and he wasn't about to ignore them. Favoring one kid over the others just seemed mean. Once again, Izaya noticed Ren was sitting by himself, watching some of the kids drawing. Sighing, he moved to stand up, crouching upon his feet. "I'm going to see if anyone else wants my help now," he told his group softly, and they nodded happily.

"Come back to us soon! The bus can't move itself," a little brown-haired boy told him.

Izaya laughed. "Alright," he said and stood up.

Ren brightened up immediately when Izaya came to sit with him. "Big brother!" he shouted with glee.

Izaya waved at him. "Sat by yourself again?" Izaya asked, keeping his tone light so as not to let on he was annoyed. "I thought you were going to try playing with the others?"

Ren hunched his shoulders, aware he was getting scolded. "Sorry. I tried to! I really did!" Ren sighed sadly. "No one wants to play. Not even Kei."

Izaya felt bad for him. "Who's Kei?" he asked. Maybe he could interfere on the boy's behalf.

"Kei was my best friend. He's not anymore."

Izaya glanced over at the kids in the room. "Why not? Did you fall out?"

Ren shrugged. "Dunno. I guess."

I know the feeling. Izaya glanced at Shizuo across the room, who was surrounded by bricks. "Point him out. Maybe I could talk to him?"

Ren looked up with surprise. "Really?"

Izaya nodded. "Why not. Couldn't hurt to try, right?"

Ren smiled and pointed over to a few kids drawing. "That's Kei. He's the one with blond hair."

How ironic. Izaya stood up. "I'll be right back." He made it look casual and crouched down beside Kei. "Need any help?"

Kei turned his attention to Izaya and back to his drawing. "Nah uh."

Izaya looked at the boy's drawing. The picture was two stickmen. One with blond, one black. Izaya pointed at the yellow-haired one. "Is that you?" Kei nodded and continued to scribble green at the bottom of the page; grass, Izaya assumed. "Who's that with you?"

Kei stopped coloring for a moment, and Izaya noticed a sad expression on his face before he continued to color. "Best friend."

Izaya bit his lip and looked at Ren. "What's his name?" As if he had to ask.

"Ren."

"Did you fall out?" Maybe Kei was more open to telling him what happened.

Kei shook his head. "No."

Or not. "Then how come you won't talk to him?"

Kei looked at him, confusion cast on his face. "I can't."

Izaya smiled. "Sure you can. He's your best friend, isn't he?"

Before the boy could reply, Ayaka blew her whistle, and the children stopped. "Okay, children, it's time for a lesson. Let's pack up all the toys and put them back in their rightful places. Those who made drawings can put them in the tray on top of the desk, and we can hang them up later."

"Kei, can I have this?" Izaya gestured to the drawing. "I promise I'll return it." Kei smiled and handed the picture to Izaya. Izaya looked down at the picture as he stood up. He glanced at Ren and was surprised to find him gone. Izaya sighed. Now, where did he go? Folding the paper, Izaya placed it in the back of his pants pocket, but before he could leave the room to go and search for him, Shizuo approached. Izaya frowned slightly but tried not to show his hostility toward the blond. "What?"

Shizuo ignored the blunt greeting and said, "They want us to help in the cafeteria today while the kids are in their lesson."

"Both of us?"

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "Well, yeah. Why, something more important you have to do then common work?"

Izaya's frown deepened. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Shizuo sighed. "I don't know. I could tell you were trying to avoid it, and I'm also pissed at you, but I didn't mean anything by it, I guess."

Izaya snorted. "You'repissed at me? Isn't that something."

Shizuo clenched a fist unseen. "Why are you being like this?"

Izaya grinned. "Does it bother you?"

Shizuo gritted his teeth and hissed. "Yes."

"Then there's your answer." And with that, Izaya walked away to go in search of Ren.

Hana approached Shizuo after he left the play area. "Ready to do some cooking?" she asked with a smile.

Shizuo scratched the back of his head. "Not really much of a cook."

Hana laughed. "It's not all that hard. The food sent here is mostly pre-packaged, so all we have to do is heat them up. The only thing we make is the vegetables, which we grow in the green house."

Shizuo blinked in surprise as they approached the cafeteria. "The food is sent here?"

"Well, mostly donated by the wholesale company that delivers food to the palmyra restaurant."

"Your food is donated?"

Hana nodded when they headed into the kitchen area, and she held open the door for him, and he nodded thanks. "It is. They've been more than generous."

"What happens when they can't donate? That happens, right?"

Hana smiled and reached for two aprons, passing a blue one to Shizuo before placing it on her own. "When it does, we use the donation money from the plays performed for the public on special occasions."

Shizuo didn't realize how much work went into this place. He was awed every time. "I kinda admire what you guys do. It really is quite commendable."

"Thank you. We do our best, and the children are never without." She motioned for him to stand by the prepping table. "Let's get started, shall we?" She then blinked. "Where is Mr Orihara?"

The hell should I cover his ass for. "He'll be along soon. Think he just went to make sure all the kids were settled, in case one decided to stray or something."

Hana chuckled. "Well, the children do get over excited and distracted sometimes."

Shizuo smiled; at least his lie seemed believable.

….

Izaya sighed when he finally found Ren standing beside the 'Kanata temple.' "Ren, you're supposed to be in your lesson. You're going to get me in trouble."

Ren turned to him with a smile. "Let's play!"

Izaya stepped over the broken wall, shaking his head. "No, it's not playtime. We need to get you back to class."

Ren pouted. "Don't wanna."

Izaya couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, we often have to do things we don't want to do. I don't want to go to school sometimes, but at least you only have one lesson a day." He smiled when he reached the boy's side. "I spoke to Kei for you, didn't I?"

Ren looked down at the ground still covered in snow, shuffling his foot. "He's mad at me, isn't he?"

Izaya crouched down. "He told me you didn't fall out, so can you think of a reason why he would say he can't talk to you?"

Ren looked at him in confusion. "Huh?"

"I asked him why he won't talk to you, and he said that he can't, so why not?"

"I don't know! It's not my fault! I keep trying to talk to him, but he just ignores me."

Izaya smiled and poked him lightly in the chest. "Are you telling me little fibs? Maybe you really did have a fight, hm?"

Ren shook his head. "We didn't! I didn't do anything wrong!" Izaya blinked at the boy's sudden anguish.

"Okay. I'm sorry." Ren wrapped his arms around Izaya's neck, sobbing. "It's okay. Shhh." Izaya suddenly felt lightheaded again; maybe he had the flu? He pushed Ren off to smile at him. "I'm sure you two will work it out. I think he misses you being his best friend." Izaya took out the drawing from his pocket and unfolded it. "He drew this for you."

Ren looked at the picture. "That's me!" he said enthusiastically.

Izaya's smile widened a little. "See? He's still your best friend. You just need to let him know that."

Ren nodded. "What if he still ignores me?"

"I'll talk to him first. It might help."

"Okay!"

"Now, will you let me take you back to class before we both get in trouble?"

Ren giggled. "K."

Izaya stood up, but heat spread through his body, and he suddenly felt dizzy again. Placing a hand over his head, he tried to steady himself. Damn, he would not faint in front of the kid. Ren looked up at him, showing his concern. Izaya glanced down, and after deeming it safe to move, he smiled. "Let's go."

"Big brother, do you not feel good?"

Izaya chuckled and shook his head. "I'm fine. I got head rush." Ren blinked in confusion. "It's a little dizzy feeling. It happens when you stand up too fast."

"Oh." Ren seemed to accept the answer no problem, and why wouldn't he? He was a kid. Ren moved into the area of trees, and Izaya followed closely behind.

You got head rush in the infirmary too, a voice told him that sounded suspiciously like Shizuo. Izaya shrugged it off; he'd take the necessary ailments once he was home.

….

Izaya approached the building only to realize the children were outside playing. Huh. He turned to see Shizuo stalking toward him, looking angrier than before. His voice had an angry tone but was low enough not to startle anyone. "Where the hell have you been?" Izaya huffed and wasn't in the mood to argue. He felt like shit.

Izaya tilted his head. "If you must know, I was trying to help Ren."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "Again? You should really tell the carers that he's running off all the time. I had to cover for you."

Izaya frowned. "I didn't ask you to. Besides, it's not like I've been slacking. I really was helping." Izaya turned to the boy beside him. "Ren, why don't you-" The boy had run off again. Izaya scowled back to Shizuo. "Well, congratulations. Your inability to keep your temper in check has scared him off. How does that feel? Knowing you've frightened a child?"

Shizuo gritted his teeth, tempted to knock Izaya on his ass. "Is this how it is now? You're all bent out of shape because of that kiss, so you're just being an asshole?"

Izaya snarled at him, about to make a snarky reply but coughed instead. "Damn it…"

Shizuo raised an eyebrow, his anger dulling for a moment in favor of concern. "Are you sick?"

Another cough took Izaya by surprise, and he batted Shizuo's hand away from his arm. Once he'd gotten his control back, he glared up at the blond. "I'm fine. Now, if you don't mind I-" Izaya was cut off by Shizuo's hand on his forehead, completely ignoring his statement. "Take your hand away before I cut it off."

Shizuo clicked his tongue. "Yeah, right, we both know you're not that stupid to carry your knife around here." But he did remove his hand. "You have a fever."

Izaya rolled his eyes. "I don't have a fever. Give me a break."

Shizuo sighed and turned away. "Whatever, I don't care anyway."

Izaya scowled and watched the blond walk away toward the kids. "Fever. Ha." Izaya scanned the playground; the kids were dressed warmly while playing in the snow. So much for too cold outside to play. He supposed they couldn't keep the kids inside for too long, especially with all the excitement of snow to play with. The necessary precautions had been taken, and they appeared well dressed for the occasion. Izaya looked at his own attire - unlike himself. Izaya always had been one to forget to take care of himself, especially when other things were on his mind. Izaya glanced at his watch; it wouldn't be long until the children were called in to eat the meals that Izaya had been supposed to help with.

The raven spotted Kei sitting on the swing. Shrugging, he walked toward the boy. "You know, you're supposed to swing on these." Ah, that was probably not a good thing to say to a child. Izaya shook his head, still in 'teasing Shizu-chan' mode. "Tell me about you and Ren. Why can't you talk to him? You were about to tell me earlier." Izaya sighed dramatically. "Until the boring lesson had to start." Kei giggled, and Izaya smiled.

"S'not so bad."

Izaya swung a little. "Wanna tell me now?"

Kei lowered his head. "Can't talk to him anymore cause he went away somewhere."

Izaya's mouth opened in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Kei shrugged. "Miss Ayaka said Ren went away to be with a new family."

Izaya frowned. "Kei - Ren didn't…." Izaya glanced up when the whistle blew, and the children, including Kei, ran toward the building. Izaya sat there, utterly dumbfounded. His eyes moved to a snowman and finally spotted Ren staring at it. Izaya sighed and stood up. Maybe Kei was angry with Ren for leaving him at one point, and now he was back, and the two weren't friends anymore? But why did the other kids have to shun him too?

Trudging over to the boy, he was interrupted by Shizuo - again. "Are you coming inside?"

"Are you completely ignoring my attempts to avoid you, or are you just extremely bad at hints?"

Shizuo clenched his fists, knowing they were alone now and grabbed hold of Izaya's shirt. "God damn it, Izaya. Wake the fuck up, will you!" Izaya's eyes widened at the emotion displayed in Shizuo's eyes. "Is it that hard to believe that I might actually give a damn about you? I know you're going through some shit with Shinra, but that doesn't mean you have to hide from everyone else. I'm just as confused about the kiss as you are, but I'm not acting like the asshole!"

"Don't act like you know me!"

"I don't know you as well as Shinra or Kadota, but I do know that right now, you're scared of getting close to someone."

Izaya shoved him back. "That's a pathetic assumption."

"Is it? Then why the hell did you run away yesterday?"

Izaya tensed, afraid to answer. "I'm not afraid of getting close to someone! Shizu-chan, I'm afraid of getting close to you." Izaya's breath hitched, and he stepped back.

Shizuo frowned and turned away from him. "Or maybe you were repulsed by the fact that you had kissed a monster."

Izaya clenched his fists. "No, that's not it."

"Then what is it?"

"I-" Izaya refused to look at him, and Shizuo stepped in front of him and lay his hand on his shoulder.

"Izaya, tell me."

The raven bit his lip. "You, Dota-chin and Shinra are the first friends I've had, and I've grown accustomed to it."

"Are you worried about losing our friendship or something?"

Izaya shook his head. "Not really." He huffed a laugh. "Let's face it, we could hardly call what we have a solid friendship."

Shizuo gave a snort of derision. "You're right about that."

"There's a reason for that, and I didn't know what that reason was until yesterday. There was always something different about you, something that set our "friendship" apart from the others. It got stronger the more time we spent together, and every time it did, I pushed you away by teasing you and pissing you off for no reason."

Shizuo blinked in surprise. "Izaya…are you-"

Izaya glared at him, switching his emotions instantly. "It meant nothing!"

Shizuo was so confused and couldn't tell if Izaya was joking. He really doesn't know what to do. "It meant something otherwise you wouldn't have said all that just now."

Izaya laughed dryly. "Well, you seem to think I have a fever, so perhaps that's all." Izaya tried to walk away, but Shizuo grabbed his wrist. His eyes looked toward Ren, watching them the whole time in curiosity. Feeling slightly awkward, Izaya pulled at the hold. "Forget about it. Just go inside, Shizu-chan, and leave me alone."

Shizuo frowned and sighed as he let go of Izaya's wrist. "Fine, but it gets lonely when you hide away from others. Trust me, I know."

Izaya's eyes followed Shizuo as the blond-headed back to the building. The raven stepped across the snow toward Ren and the snowman with a sigh. "Did you make that yourself?" he asked with a smile, crouching down to the boy's level.

Ren shook his head. "No, mine would be better."

Izaya laughed. "Is that so?"

"Yep."

Izaya's expression turned serious for a moment. "I spoke to Kei, and he's really upset."

Ren looked at him. "Like how your friend was with you?"

A tug pulled at the corner of Izaya's lip for a second. "Saw all that, huh?" Ren nodded. "Just a disagreement. We argue a lot. I don't know if we're really friends, but this is about you and Kei." Izaya paused for a moment, unsure how to proceed with his question. "Ren, did you go away for a little while? Perhaps to live with a family?"

Ren stared at him in confusion. "No."

Izaya smiled sympathetically. "It's okay, you can tell me."

"I didn't."

"Did you run away then?" Ren shook his head. "Kei said you went away somewhere to live with another family. Maybe that's why he's upset with you because he feels that you left him behind."

A frown crossed Ren's face. "When I get a new family, Kei is coming with me. I won't leave him behind!" The boy ran off toward the building.

"Ren!" Izaya moved to stand up but was soon overcome by another coughing fit. Izaya breathed deeply and rubbed his sore throat. When the cough finally subsided, he straightened and walked into the building. Something happened to Ren and Kei that the carers have yet to mention.

…

Izaya waited until the end of the day, following Shizuo outside accompanied by Ayaka. Good. It was her he wanted to talk to. Izaya glanced at the blond, ensuring he was far enough away before turning to her. "I've got a question to ask."

Ayaka tilted her head, surprised by the sudden seriousness. "Go ahead."

"It's about Ren."

Ayaka's expression changed to one of sadness. "Has Kei mentioned him to you?" Izaya raised an eyebrow and couldn't figure out how to reply. When he didn't respond, Ayaka continued. "He's a brave boy, but I know he misses him."

Izaya frowned in confusion. "Then why haven't you tried to help? They're best friends aren't they? Surely you can get them talking again."

Ayaka sighed, laying a hand on his shoulder. "What has Kei actually said to you?"

Kei? What about Ren? Are they siding with one child? Nevertheless, Izaya decided to indulge her. "Just that he can't talk to him, and that he went away to be with a new family."

Ayaka nodded and turned slightly, bowing her head. "That's - that's what we told him."

Izaya wasn't sure what she meant, but he started to get a very bad feeling. "What do you mean?"

Ayaka looked at him, tears in her eyes. "Ren passed away two months ago."

Izaya's eyes widened. No, it can't be. "H-how…" his voice was barely a whisper.

"It was an accident. He and Kei were quite the adventurers. Always heading off into the forest. They found an old part of the church. I told them not to play there because it was unstable."

The steeple…. Izaya felt his heart clench the more she spoke. His secret spot….

"One evening, we noticed Ren was absent when putting the children to sleep. Hana and I went out searching for him. We found him, and the steeple must have collapsed…. we - we pulled him out from the wreckage, but he wasn't breathing."

Izaya didn't know if he could hear anymore.

That's why he thinks everyone is ignoring him.

They can't see him.

Izaya swallowed back a choked sob.

And he doesn't know why. He doesn't remember what happened….

"We called an ambulance, but it was already too late…."

He's dead….and he doesn't know.

"We told Kei and the other children he went to live with a new family because we didn't want to upset them. Please, can you keep this to yourself? Don't tell them the truth."

Izaya could only nod slowly, left speechless. He turned away from the woman and stumbled over the snow before breaking into a full run.

Shizuo watched him suddenly run past him. "Izaya! What-" but he was too fast, "happened."

Izaya ran as far as he could, the cold stinging his face as the wind whipped past him. He stopped suddenly, ducked into a crevice at the corner of the street, and collapsed to his knees with a single punch to the wall, tears falling from his face. He sat on the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face. Izaya couldn't contain the sobs that shook his body. Why hadn't he noticed? What was he supposed to do now?

How do you tell a six-year-old they're no longer alive?

Izaya laid his head against the wall and looked at the sky through tearful eyes. It was snowing again. His heart clenched painfully, and deep sorrow filled his entire being. "I'm sorry….."