Even in the darkness of the night, she can make out the confused look washing over his features when the words escape her.

Still, he nods. Skeptically, she would add, and she couldn't blame him for it. One moment they were making out on her porch like teenagers, and the next she blindsided him with the statement.

He follows her inside, a wave of heat hitting her as they step into her foyer. It wards off the chill in her bones but doesn't quite make her feel as warm as he does.

"SecNav was in my office the other morning." She begins, unraveling the scarf she had tied around her neck. There's a shakiness to her voice that she prays he doesn't notice, but he's always been good at reading her.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He brought the FBI's deputy director with him."

"If this is about me pissing off their agency-" He begins.

"No," she says, effectively cutting him off, "No, honey, can you just listen for a second? It's nothing like that. The Deputy is moving to the CIA. A need to know position and I didn't need to know."

The pet name had rolled off her tongue so easily that it takes her by surprise, and in any other situation perhaps she would turn into a blushing mess at the term, but she has no time to dwell on it given the circumstances.

His posture stiffens slightly, "What's it got to do with you?"

She sucks in a deep breath, holding the air in her lungs as she works up the nerve to say the words to him.

"They want me to take the job."

The pressure of the breath she was holding all but makes her lungs feel like they're about to pop, and she has to consciously remind herself to breathe.

"They want you to work for the FBI?" He inquires, tone a bit disbelieving.

"Yes," She says, voice tentative, "They came in and sang my praises, told me how much progress I've made with the agency, and they want me to move to the FBI to help reform their crime division."

A wave of silence overtakes the room, and she watches as he tries to process the information she was feeding him. There's a puzzled look in his eyes that she doesn't recognize and it scares her all the more. She has seen Jethro Gibbs in many states, but puzzled just by a set of words has never been one of them.

"You're taking it."

It wasn't a question.

"I'm considering it," She settles on, because it's the only truth she really knows at the moment, "There's a lot of semantics that I have to work out."

"Like?"

The distance between them is practically non existent, and for a moment she swears he's able to hear the sound of her heart pounding against her chest and the blood rushing through her veins.

"The job is in California."

For a moment, she feels as though the world had stopped turning; as if time itself had frozen in place as she waits for him to respond.

"You're leaving."

If words could kill, she'd surely be dead.

"I-" she pauses, "it's not the simple."

He scoffs, tone suddenly colder than it had been, "Isn't it? You want the job. The job is on the other side of the country. You're leaving."

Instinctively, she takes a step back. Not out of fear that he would ever do anything to physically harm her, but there's a malice laced through his voice that scared her.

She had prepared for him to be less than happy, but this?

She didn't expect this.

"I haven't said yes. I have until the end of the month to decide. I wouldn't take the job without talking to you first."

"Talking to me first? You're not asking my permission, you're telling me that you're gonna take it. I told you Jen, you couldn't want this then try to undo it later. I told you that."

"I do want this!" She insisted, "but the job offer is-"

"That's all you care about, isn't it?" He counters, voice finally cracking into a yell, "Your god damn job."

Her thoughts trickle back to the night before she left him. The trembling in her hands as she wrote his letter, the fear she felt as she shoved it in the pocket of her coat, the monumental heartache she felt as she walked off the plane.

The feeling had never quite replicated itself until this moment .

"No," she tells him, trying to keep her voice steady, "That's bullshit. That's bullshit and you know it."

A cold laugh escapes his lips, "Do I? All you ever do is leave, Jen. Because of your job, because you just can't help but want to be on top no matter who you hurt in the process."

"You don't get to throw that in my face," She yells back, "Yes, I left, and I've paid for that every day since. This is real Jethro, I don't want to give this up, but my job is important to me too. I want to make this work."

"What, long distance? Like we're a couple of kids? I won't do that again, Jen. I did long distance. I was in a whole different country the first time. I won't be separated from someone I love like that again. I won't."

She gets the meaning behind his words; the clear reference the the deaths of his wife and daughter, and she instinctively wants to gather him in her arms and assure him that she's not going anywhere, even if it's not the truth.

"It's not the simple." She repeats, voice coming out in a hushed whisper, "I worked so hard to get where I am. You can't expect me to throw all that progress away."

His hands are clenched into tight fists, knuckles turning white as he speaks. He too can barely manage more than a whisper in the moment, "It always comes down to the job, doesn't it?"

There's a sudden stabbing pain coursing through her chest, and in that moment she finally understands. This is what heartbreak feels like; waves crashing into her chest as she fights to stay afloat, and for a spit second she feels as though she'll collapse from the sheer force of it all.

"Is that what you think? That I love my job more than I love you?"

"You know what? Yeah, that's what I think. You'll always choose your job over anyone else who cares about you."

The sudden burst of rage that laces through her voice surprises her almost as much as it does him, "I am allowed to be proud of what I've accomplished! I'm not leaving you with another Dear Jethro letter, I don't want to give what we have up again, but I know that this is a once in a lifetime chance for me and I don't want to waste it. I thought you would understand. I thought you would be proud of me."

"I put my loved ones first," he counters, brushing past her and towards the door, "Before any job, before anything else, I put them first. You only get one shot at a family Jen. I learned my lesson, seems like you just haven't learned yours."

"Jethro-" She tries, but he cuts her off before she can get another word in.

"I can't handle you leaving again," he says, "I can't."

When the door slams, she swears it shook the whole house.

A/n: I struggled with this chapter, because I don't want Gibbs to come off as the bad guy here. I don't want to make it out like he isn't supportive of her or that he doesn't love her enough to want to make it work, but I also feel as though his first emotional response would be something like this given the news.

Next chapter isn't as Jibbs centric, but its short and is vital to the story, so stay tuned.