Author's Note: Hey all! Just a small trigger warning for abuse in the very beginning but nothing major. Also, I can't believe we're nearing the end of season 1 (four chapters left!). I'm really happy with how writing season 2 went and I'm excited for you guys to see it. Just started writing season 3 so we'll see how that goes :)

xxxx

Elowen and Josiah were hiding in the closet. Esmeralda had ordered them to when they got home from school. Luis had a bad day at work and was angrier than usual.

"I slave all day at work! The least I could do is come home to a clean house!"

"Excuse me, but I work two jobs." Esmeralda held up two fingers. "Two! What makes you think I have time to do housework anymore than you do?"

"Well then, those ungrateful kids of yours should pick up the slack!"

"My kids? They're yours just as much as they're mine."

"Yeah, well, they're both a bunch idiotic brats."

"Don't you talk about them that way." Esmeralda pushed against Luis's chest.

Slap.

"Don't you ever put your hands on me again. Understood?"

Josiah, in a fit of rage, struggled to free himself from Elowen's grip. She was trying to hold him down.

"Joey, no! Stop it! You heard what mom said. Stay in here until she says it's safe!"

"I don't care what mom said! Let me go!" He broke away from her and burst out of the closet. He ran straight for the living room where his parents were fighting. He jumped on Luis's back and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Leave her alone!"

Luis easily pried Josiah off of him and roughly threw him to the ground. He landed with a loud thump. His head had hit the ground and immediately, Josiah saw stars clouding the corner of his vision. Elowen ran from the closet and threw the nearest thing at Luis. It was just a harmless pillow, but it was enough for him to turn his attention to her. He backhanded her without a second thought. Esmeralda tried to intervene, but he pushed her to the floor with ease.

"Who else wants to give it a try? Huh?!"

Binx was barking from outside. He could hear the commotion from the backyard and desperately wanted to make sure everyone was okay. If he scratched on the door any harder, he might just break it down.

Everything was still. The silence in the room was deafening as no one dared to speak a word.

"That's what I thought," Luis said after a long moment. "And somebody shut that damn dog up." He turned and left the living room. A few minutes later, they all heard a door slam shut upstairs. Esmeralda crawled over to Josiah. Elowen was already on the ground, helping him into a sit up position.

"I told you to stay hidden until I came to get you." She cradled Josiah in her arms and examined his head. When she was done with that, she lifted Elowen's chin and looked over her face.

"I know, mom," Josiah grumbled. "But he was hurting you again."

"I know. I know, sweetie. I know." Esmeralda grabbed both of her children and pulled them in for a hug. "I know."

Elowen was woken up by Josiah shaking her shoulders. He had turned on her bedside lamp and in the obscure lighting, she could make out his worried face.

"Jo?" She muttered sleepily. "What's wrong?"

"You were crying in your sleep."

Elowen wiped at her face and found that it was wet. She furiously rubbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her pjs to dry the tears.

"The nightmares are back, aren't they?" He asked gently. Elowen stayed quiet, confirming his question. He sighed and crawled into bed with her. She moved over so he could situate himself in her bed. "What was it this time?"

"When you fought back for the first time."

"Ah." He leaned over and shut the lamp off. "I was such a dumb 11 year old."

"Not much has changed."

"Oh, hush. Can we just go back to sleep? It's 2 in the morning."

Josiah got himself comfortable and rolled over. He was snoring in seconds. Elowen couldn't sleep after that.

xxxx

In the morning, Elowen headed over to the boarding house. She'd come over everyday for the past few days, but she never went down to see Stefan. She was still building up courage to face him after their last encounter. She didn't see Damon anywhere and assumed he was in the basement.

She was headed to the parlor when she was very suddenly sucked into a premonition of sorts.

Stefan and Damon were hiding behind a big bush, watching as men on the council placed muzzles over the captured vampires and loaded them onto a carriage. They were planning on saving Katherine.

"Circle around that way," Stefan instructed. "I'll distract them. Go." Damon went one way, while Stefan went the other. "Over there!" He called, gaining everyone's attention. "There's another one! Quick, help me!" He ran off as the council members followed him. One man had stayed behind to act as guard. Damon came up behind him and knocked him out. He swiftly fished the keys out of his pocket as Stefan returned.

"We don't have long."

Damon unlocked the carriage and spotted Katherine.

"Katherine," he whispered. "Katherine!"

Katherine weakly tried to sit up at the sound of his voice. Both Stefan and Damon lifted her out of the carriage and set her on the ground. Stefan removed her muzzle as Damon untied the vervain soaked ropes that were around her wrists.

"We're going to get you out of here," Stefan reassured her. "Damon, hurry. Hurry!"

A gunshot sounded through the air. The bullet hit Damon square in the chest. He fell over as blood rapidly stained his clothes. Stefan rushed over to his brother.

"No! Damon." He lifted Damon's head into his lap. "Stay with me! Please." Damon's breathing got shallower and shallower before it stopped completely. Stefan's eyes filled with tears. He felt a range of emotions before one came out on top: anger. He got up and grabbed the gun the guard from earlier dropped and aimed at the mob of men returning. Another gunshot fired and hit Stefan in his gut. He fell to the ground and dropped the rifle. He reached out to Katherine, who gave a feeble attempt to reach back.

"I love you, Stefan," she wheezed. The group of council members reached them both and grabbed Katherine. They tossed her back into the carriage and locked it. The last thing Stefan saw before he died was Katherine being taken away.

"Elowen. Hey." Damon waved a hand in front of her face. "Wakey wakey." He snapped his fingers and she finally came back to reality. She looked at her surroundings.

"Where am I?"

"The boarding house, duh. The hell was that?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "But I just watched how you two died."

xxxx

In the end, Elowen found herself going down to the cellar. She had a hunch and wanted to see if it was correct or not. Sure enough, when she got to the cell, Stefan was sweating profusely and appearing to hallucinate.

"I think I'm seeing whatever delusions his mind is making from going through withdrawal."

Her hands grabbed onto the bars so she could get a better look at him. Instead, she was swept into another flashback.

Stefan awakes with a start. He was confused. He died. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he ripped open his shift and touched where the bullet wound was supposed to be. It was gone.

"Katherine had me make that for you weeks ago," Emily Bennett said as she saw him examine the daylight ring on his finger. Esperanza returned with a basket of fresh clothes for both brothers to change into.

"I made Damon's. She thought it would be quicker if we each made one at the same time." She set the basket down and started to sort through everything.

"Where am I?"

"The quarry just north of town," Emily answered. "My brother, Esperanza and I brought you here last night. We found you dead in the woods."

"Where's Damon?" Stefan asked frantically. "Am I.. Am I a…?"

"Not yet. You're in transition," Emily said.

"But how?"

"You had Katherine's blood in your system when you died."

"No." Stefan shook his head. "I never…."

"She's been compelling you to drink it for weeks, Stefan," Esperanza revealed from her spot on the ground.

"And Damon?"

"No compulsion was necessary. He drank from her willingly."

Stefan joined Damon by the river once Emily and Esperanza were done talking with him.

"I woke up last night," Damon spoke as Stefan sat next to him "Didn't know where I was. I went to the church. And I watched them drag her inside. Then they set it fire to it. The whole church went up into flames. They killed her, Stefan. She's gone."

Elowen came back to the present. "That's going to get really tiring really fast."

xxxx

"Did you ever figure out what that does?"

They were back in the living room. Damon was turning the device Pearl had given him in his hands. He shook his head.

"Nope. Whatever it is, it doesn't work."

"Just because it appears to be broken doesn't mean it doesn't work." Elowen came over and snatched the compass apparatus from his hands.

"Anything?"

"Nope. But that doesn't mean it's useless." She tossed it back at Damon and settled herself on the couch. She pulled out her phone and inspected the faint bruise that was still on her cheek. She'd been covering it up with makeup whenever she went to school. She hated it. It made her feel as if she were falling back into her old life. Today, however, she didn't bother.

"That's healing up rather nicely," Damon remarked from his spot. Elowen quickly put her phone away and busied herself with something else. "You haven't seen him since the kick off party?"

"No, and I'd like to keep it that way," she snapped. She sighed afterwards. "I'm sorry."

"Aah, stop acting like that behavior will hurt me. Say what you want. I don't care."

"Now is not the time to act like you don't give a shit, Damon," she seethed. "It was my idea to lock him up, but you helped. And you're still helping. You're babysitting him. Making sure he doesn't try to escape. Hell, you even went and got animal blood for him."

"Well you're extra feisty today. Care to share with the class?"

"Not really."

Damon tried to read her, but figured out really fast that Elowen was very good at hiding what she was really feeling. He stood and slid the device into his pocket. "Well, I have better things to do today than fight with you. Toodles."

He left her and ventured down to the basement again. On the way to Stefan's cell, he picked up a water bottle he'd filled with blood. For a second, he stared at it. He thought about what Elowen had said and tightened his grip. Why the hell did he take time out of his day for this bullshit?

"Brought you something to eat. 100% Stefan diet approved." Damon set the bottle in the gap between the bars. Stefan didn't budge. "You know what'll happen if you don't eat. You'll get all rotting and crusty."

"I'm not hungry," Stefan said hoarsely.

"Of course you are. We're eternally hungry. Just take it, will you?" Damon pushed the bottle into the cell. It landed a few feet in front of Stefan. He still didn't move. "Oh, stop being so dramatic. Wanna explain why you're still in here? The human blood should be out of your system by now."

"I hurt her," Stefan muttered with a gruff voice. Finally, he lifted his head to look at Damon. "I hurt her, Damon. You should've seen her face. She was….. scared of me. She trusted me and I ruined that."

"You didn't ruin anything. She just needs space. Give her some time, she'll come around. Now, drink up. If you want to make things right, you'll need your strength."

Damon had left in favor of some sort of errand. He wouldn't fess up, but truth be told, Elowen didn't care. She was busy doing the catch homework she'd asked for yesterday so that when she went back to school tomorrow, she wouldn't be lost. She was working on a trigonometry equation when the living room transformed in front of her eyes.

Stefan filled a pail with fresh water and brought it over to where Damon was still sitting by the river. They both started cleaning their old clothes despite Esperanza bringing them new ones.

"I bet Jonathan Gilbert has told father by now. Wonder how he took the news that we're dead."

"As if he cares," Damon replied bitterly. "He betrayed us."

"He thought he was protecting us, Damon," Stefan defended. "He thought he was protecting this town."

Damon winced and turned himself away from daylight that was shining down on them. "The sun hurts my eyes."

"It's part of it," Stefan explained. "The muscle aches, the sick feeling… Emily says it's our bodies pushing us to feed, to complete the transition."

"That's not gonna happen," Damon stated shortly.

"Is that your choice, then? To die instead?" Stefan couldn't imagine a life with his big brother. If Damon refused to turn, then so did he.

"Isn't it yours? This was all to be with Katherine. But she's gone. I want it to be over."

Elowen rubbed her temples as she was brought back. She tossed her pencil on the table and stomped her way to the cellar.

"Are you ever going to stop dwelling on the past? You're giving me a goddamn migraine."

Stefan sat up at the sound of Elowen's voice. This was only the second time she'd visited him in days and the first time, he was barely conscious. She peered into the cell and squinted down at him.

"Why are you thinking so much about it, anyway?" She asked. "This stuff happened a century ago."

"It feels like yesterday to me," he admitted lowly. "It's one of my biggest regrets."

"Turning into a vampire?"

"It's more than just that."

Stefan didn't elaborate. Elowen sighed and noticed the untouched bottle of blood on the ground.

"You need to drink that."

"No. I don't want to survive."

Elowen felt a rush of different emotions all at once. She unlocked the cell door and entered the room. Stefan started to frantically shake his head and pushed himself into the corner.

"No, no, no. You're taking a stupid risk. I could hurt you. The vervain isn't in my system anymore."

Elowen slammed the door shut with her foot. It closed with a loud bang. "Yeah, and you would've hurt me by now if you wanted to." She crossed her arms. "Talk to me, Stefan. You're giving up. Why?" She demanded with a bite in her voice.

"I'm making the decision I should've made years ago."

"Which is?"

"I never should've completed my transition."

Stefan left the quarry and made the trek back to his house. When he made it, he could hear his father and Jonathan Gilbert talking in the study.

"I want to make sure the founders' archives are accurate," Jonathan said as he scribbled something down in his journal.

"Be sure you document the loss of civilian life in the church," Giuseppe instructed.

"They were hardly civilians, Mr. Salvatore."

"As far as anyone needs to know, they were. As the record keeper for the council, what you write will be passed down through generations. Certain details should only be kept between only you and me."

"For example?"

"My sons. They will be remembered as the innocent victims of the Battle of Willow Creek, not for their shame."

"Certainly, Mr. Salvatore."

He could hear them faintly as he went around to the back to sneak in. He waited until Jonathan left and then entered the office. Giuseppe looked up from his desk and stood up in surprise.

"Dear God!" He exclaimed, eyes wide.

"Even in our death, you only feel shame?" Stefan asked, hurt.

"You're one of them now," Giuseppe accused. Stefan shook his head.

"No, father. I came to say goodbye."

"I watched you die."

"You were there when we were shot?"

"I pulled the trigger myself," Giuseppe spat.

"... You killed your own sons?" Stefan whispered in disbelief.

"You were both dead to me the moment you sided with the vampires. I only thank god that your mother isn't alive to see the disgrace you've become."

"I haven't turned yet," Stefan tried to explain in a frenzy. "I don't want to. I'm going to let myself die, father. Please."

"Yes, you are." Giuseppe grabbed a wooden rod out of his desk and broke it in two. He ran at Stefan and tried to attack him. Acting on instinct, Stefan threw his father against the wall in defense. The stake impaled Giuseppe when he hit the wall. Stefan hurried forward.

"Father! I didn't mean to."

"Get away from me," Giuseppe hissed.

"No, let me help you. Please." Stefan got on his knees and wrapped his hands around the stake. He pulled it out and tossed it aside. Blood got on his fingers and it felt like time slowed. The smell, the urge, the sound of Giuseppe's heartbeat. Everything seemed heightened as Stefan brought his hand to his mouth and licked his fingers. A newfound wave of hunger crashed over him. Stefan pushed Giuseppe's hand out of the way and pressed his hand against the wound. He ravenously sucked more fresh blood off of his hand and his eyes started to transform. As Stefan yelled in pain, Giuseppe looked on in disgust.

"God, what's happening to me?!" He felt inside his mouth, where fangs were protruding from his gums.

Elowen leaned forward on the cot and twisted her face into one of displeasure. Stefan hesitantly placed a hand on her back.

"Are you okay?"

"No," she answered. "All of these flashes of the past happening all at once is killing me. I'm sorry, I need to get out of here."

She stumbled her way into the bathroom and splashed her face with water. She leaned against the sink for a moment and took deep breaths.

"Ugh," she heard Damon grunt faintly. He had just gotten home and heard her shuffling through the house. "You're still here?" He called out, wandering down to where she was. He twirled around the corner and leaned against the doorsill. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw the state she was in. "You alright?"

"Do I look like I'm alright?"

Damon threw his hands up and moved out of the way when she tried to squeeze through the door. Elowen felt like her head was going to split open any second. She had a feeling this would all stop the second she left the boarding house, but she didn't want to leave Stefan. She was still trying to warm up to him again, but she didn't want to leave him alone.

"How was your mystery errand?"

"Futile," Damon replied. "Although, I think I witnessed a teacher having an existential crisis."

"Teacher? You were with Ric?"

"Yep. He had a lead, except it just turned out to be a dead end. Has Stefan eaten yet?"

"Oh, so we're not acting like we don't care anymore?" Elowen crossed her arms.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Just answer the question."

Elowen made it back to the living room and settled onto the couch again. She put her homework on her lap and tried to use it as a distraction. It would've worked if Damon didn't follow her. "He hasn't eaten and he doesn't plan to. He thinks he deserves to starve and mummify."

"He's just making a scene out of it. He'll eat eventually."

"I don't think so. I think he's serious."

A fleeting look of worry passed through Damon's eyes, but Elowen just barely caught it. "I thought you hated him. You've made it your life's mission to make his life a living hell. Maybe if you were a bit more supportive, he wouldn't be so hopeless."

"This is my fault now?" He asked incredulously. Elowen shook her head.

"No. I'm saying that you taunt and bully him and push human blood on him when you know he'll have the same outcome every time. You tell him he's being a vampire wrong, get him to drink from the vein and then leave him to clean up your mess."

"Hey, I didn't make him do jackshit! That was Elena."

Elowen threw her homework back on the table when she realized she wouldn't be able to distract the migraine away. "This time it wasn't, but don't act like you haven't before. You enjoy seeing him spiral like this. If it weren't for the council being on high alert, you would've just sat back, relaxed and watched him blow through the whole town."

Damon approached the couch until he was standing right in front of her. "Let me ask you something. You've been getting stupid visions all day today. Have you seen the full story yet?"

"Y'know, I'm trying to block them out. If I have one more, I'm gonna fucking scream. But I'm assuming you're going to tell me anyway to try and clear your name."

It was night time. Stefan returned the quarry with a compelled woman for Damon to drink from. Damon got up from his place on the ground. His skin was pale, he was weak and he felt like he was going to pass out any second. His time was running out.

"What are you doing?" Damon rasped. "Who is that?"

"I brought her for you," Stefan grinned. Now that he'd completed his transition, his attitude had changed completely. He walked around with a new meaning, like a child fascinated with a new toy. "She's a gift. Have a seat, please." He told the woman, who followed his instructions obediently.

"What have you done, Stefan?" Damon asked in horror. He hoped Stefan didn't do what he thought he did.

"I've been to see father, Damon. He came at me. I didn't know my own strength. There was blood everywhere. He was dying and the blood was too strong. I needed it. I had to have it."

"You fed," Damon guessed, the pieces falling together in his head. No. This isn't what was supposed to happen.

"Yes. And it's incredible, brother. My body is exploding with power!"

"No." Damon didn't want to hear anymore. He was supposed to be learning these things from Katherine.

"I can hear things from far away," Stefan described excitedly. "I can see through the darkness. I can move like it's magic. And the guilt, the pain... " He grabbed onto Damon's shoulder. "I can turn it off. It's like a switch! Katherine was right. It's a whole other world out there, Damon."

"Katherine is dead, Stefan," Damon reminded. "There's no world without her."

"No. You can turn that off, too. You don't have to feel that pain anymore. You're weak. You'll be dead soon if you don't drink. You need this."

"No. I can't. I refuse."

"Please," Stefan begged. "I won't let you die."

"I don't want this life if Katherine isn't here."

"But I'm here! We can do this together, Damon." Stefan beckoned the girl over and moved her hair to one side. His fangs pushed through and sank into her neck. With her blood now exposed, Stefan grabbed Damon and urged him closer and closer until he finally gave in. Damon grabbed her nape and drank.

After the girl had been drained and both were at their full strength, Stefan approached Damon.

"How do you feel?" He inquired.

"You were right. It is a whole new world."

Stefan grinned widely. "We can explore it together."

"You got what you wanted." Damon stepped closer until they were inches apart. "But hear this, brother. I will make it an eternity of misery for you." He backed away and started heading in the opposite direction.

"Damon!" Stefan called after him. He never turned back around.

Elowen had tears building up on the corners of her eyes from the amount of pain she was in. It felt like the room was spinning and she couldn't move without the fear of toppling over. She had the heels of her hands digging into her eyes to try and block the light out. Damon was finishing up his story.

"From the moment Stefan had his first taste of human blood, he was a different person. I supposed I should thank him. It's been a hell of a ride."

"I'm not saying I agree with forcing you to turn, but... he only wanted his brother. He didn't want to live without you. Now look at you, relishing in the vampire life. And you're still mad about it? It's no wonder the guilt is eating him from the inside out."

"If Stefan refuses to feed because he feels sorry for himself, that's his choice. If he's stupid enough to make it, so be it."

"Deep down, you'll miss him. At the very least, admit that to yourself, will you?" Elowen willed herself to get up from the couch and, through squinted eyes, maneuvered her way around the furniture towards the basement.

"Where are you going?" Damon got up and trailed behind her. He still had stuff to say even though she wasn't listening anymore. When the both of them made it to the bottom, they quickly discovered the cell door open and Stefan missing.

"I told you he was serious." Elowen reached into her pocket and pulled out Stefan's daylight ring. "He's just not planning starving himself like we thought. How far is the quarry from here?"

She found Stefan right where she knew he'd be. He turned at the sound of her footsteps. She lifted up his daylight ring.

"I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be wearing this thing."

Stefan shook his head. "I should have died that night, just like I had chosen. I should have let Damon die, too. Dragging him into this life was selfish of me."

"Everyone is selfish sometimes, Stefan. That's just how life is." She slowly got nearer and nearer to Stefan. "You can't change the past. We all have 'what ifs' and this is yours. Everything happens for a reason."

"Every single person that's been hurt… every single life that's been lost, it's because of me."

Elowen a small nod. "Right, every single person in the world. That's your fault." She stopped in front of Stefan and fiddled with the daylight ring for a moment. "Remember when I told you about Josiah jumping off of our roof? I blame myself for that every single day. I run through different scenarios in my head. What could I have done differently? What if I grabbed him before he leapt? Why didn't I see it coming? Our actions are what set things in motion. We have to live with the consequences."

"I made a choice, Elowen. Because of that choice, a lot of people were hurt."

"You also made a choice to fight. To find an alternative so nobody else would die."

"No." Stefan took a step back from her and shook his head again. "Please don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Try to make this all okay."

Elowen tried to close the gap again. "I'm not trying to make everything seem okay. What you're going through, the internal fight, standing here, waiting for the sun to come up, that's not okay. I'm trying to tell you that you still have good in you, Stefan. Feeling regret, guilt, remorse, that proves that you can still do this. I know this because I've been where you're at. That feeling of hopelessness, thinking this is the only option you have." She reached up and grabbed his face with one of her hands. Stefan was beginning to tear up the longer she talked. "But it's not. It's not, Stefan."

Stefan settled his hand over hers and leaned into her touch. "You don't understand. It's different for me."

"Different how? You've gotta talk to me."

"It hurts," Stefan whispered. A lone tear fell down his cheek and Elowen wiped it away with the sleeve of her jacket. "It hurts me, knowing what I've done and the pain that follows. That pain is with me all the time. Everyday, I think that if I just… give myself over to the blood, the pain will stop. It would be so easy, and everyday, I fight that. And I am so terrified that one day, I'm not gonna want to fight it anymore, Elle. The next time I hurt somebody… it could be you."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take, because I refuse to give up on you. You don't have to fight alone anymore, Stefan! Not anymore." She opened the palm of her other hand, where the daylight ring was nestled safely. "But if this is what you really want to do… then I can't help you." Elowen stood on her tip toes and kissed Stefan, then placed the ring in his hand and closed it. "If this is goodbye….. I love you," her voice cracked slightly. She backed up and started to walk away. She had gotten a few feet away when Stefan called out to her.

"Elowen."

She looked back. Stefan slipped the ring back on his hand and ran over to her. He grabbed her face and the two shared a passionate kiss (the bruise flared slightly, but nothing Elowen couldn't handle). He pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I love you, too."