Chapter 7
Audra suddenly noticed Jarrod was smiling. It was a sweet smile, a loving smile, one that had been missing since Julia Saxon was here. "Jarrod – come here – feel this!"
Jarrod blubbered. "Oh, I can't – I don't know – "
Clarence reached for his brother-in-law's arm. "You've been invited," he said. "Never turn your little sister down, haven't you learned that yet?"
Jarrod got up and let Clarence guide him to where Audra sat. "I suppose I did learn that one a while back."
Clarence moved Jarrod closer to his wife, and he took Jarrod's hand and guided it to Audra's belly. Jarrod shivered. He hadn't touched his sister like this since he tickled her when she was little, but now, he was sharing an incredibly intimate moment with her and her husband. In his darkness, he could feel genuine closeness to people he loved. This was life. This was light.
And the baby gave another lusty kick. "Oh!" Jarrod laughed. "He's not only getting comfortable, he's rearranging the furniture!"
Jarrod couldn't see his family members grinning at each other, not just for Audra, but for him, too. Something on his face, something in his eyes, was more alive than it had been for weeks. Maybe Jarrod didn't know it was showing to the others, but he was feeling it. He wanted it.
No more brooding over what had been once, long ago when he was young and could see. Life was different now. Life had to change, but it could still be life. The moment he felt his niece or nephew move under his hand, he knew completely that it was time to climb out of the past and more important, make a new future. He wasn't sure how yet, but he was sure it had to be.
His thoughts began to gel when he heard Audra and Clarence discussing how many children they might want. It was a private conversation that they were having after dinner, out on the back porch swing, but Jarrod was not far away, taking a walk in the dark stable yard, using his cane. He realized they couldn't see him out there when they started talking about how many children they might be able to afford. Clarence said to Audra, "I suppose at some point I'm going to have to strike out on my own if I'm going to make enough money to support a family."
Audra said, "But Jarrod can't work without an assistant, and you've been so good for him, I just can't picture him working with anyone else."
"He's been good for me, too," Clarence said. "I'd never have learned as much as I have working for anyone else, and frankly, I don't want to up and leave him high and dry. I know I need to have my own firm, but I really just don't want to leave him." Then he laughed a little. "I don't think I can see anyone else in my place either. I'd be jealous!"
Audra laughed a little too, and down in the darkness even Jarrod smiled. Then he started thinking, and he remembered the idea he had before, and his smile grew.
"Retire?!" Victoria blurted when Jarrod brought the subject up the next day. "You want to retire?!"
"Yes," Jarrod said, still smiling.
"Why, in heaven's name?" Victoria asked. "Your career is going well, you and Clarence are working together famously – "
"But Clarence is starting a family and he needs his own firm," Jarrod said. "Ours is ready made for him. Our clients trust him and enjoy working with him. I can hand them over to him with no qualms at all, and the firm would be his. The income would be his, except for paying me off a bit at a time for my half of the partnership. Don't you see, Mother? He's earned it. He's earned his own practice, and he needs the income. And he sure doesn't need to be saddled with me anymore."
"Saddled?!" Victoria blurted again. "You haven't saddled anyone with anything!"
"Of course, I have," Jarrod said.
"You've brought him along and helped to make him a fine lawyer!"
"I know I have, but it's time for him to spread his own wings, and it's time for me to put my practice aside. He's ready, and he needs this, and I'm tired."
Tired. That upset Victoria. "Jarrod, you can't just put everything down and slip off into oblivion."
"Oh, Good Lord, that's not what I'm talking about," Jarrod quickly said. "Retirement won't mean stopping. It'll mean changing, rejuvenating."
"And doing what?"
"I don't know. Teaching, maybe. I've liked bringing Clarence along as a new lawyer. I can do that again, with even more young lawyers. Maybe I'll teach little children! I'm looking for something new, Mother, and now, with Audra and Clarence starting their family, this is the time for me to do it, and help them along, too."
Victoria sighed. She couldn't fault his logic, but, "Jarrod, you're just turning 35. You'll be retired for a long time."
"No, I'll be working at something different for a long time." He wasn't exactly sure how far away she was standing, but he reached for her, and she came into his arms. "I've loved being a lawyer, Mother, but it's not something I can do alone and I can't lean on Clarence forever. He needs something of his own, and our firm is exactly what he needs."
"Are you still going to do the family work?" Victoria asked.
"No, Clarence is, and since he doesn't live here, you're going to be paying him to do it," Jarrod said.
"You're driving a hard bargain for your client, Counselor," Victoria said.
Jarrod laughed a little. "My client deserves it, and so does your granddaughter or grandson. Clarence and Audra can have a wonderful life with a house full of children, Mother, and I want to help them get it."
Victoria sighed again. "You've been an excellent big brother all of your life, you know that?
"I don't intend to stop," Jarrod said. "I just intend to change my own life a bit and benefit theirs in the bargain. Believe me, Mother, I will work this all out, and Clarence and I will work it all out, and it will be one of the best things I ever did. I'm sure of that."
"Have you thought about running for public office?" Victoria suggested. "You'd be a good senator."
"Perhaps, but the political life is not for me. I'm looking for a happy retirement, doing something that energizes me, not something that drags me around all the time."
"So, you're leaning toward teaching."
"Right now, yes, I am, but I'm still thinking and evaluating and we have a way to go in working this out. But I want a new life, Mother, and I want Clarence and Audra to have their chance, too."
"All right," Victoria said. "I'm with you."
Jarrod kissed her forehead. "I knew I could count on you."
XXXXXXX
It was only the next day when Jarrod took up the subject with Clarence. They were in the office in town, getting ready to prepare for a negotiation in Denver over the sale of a mine one of their clients had in Colorado. It was going to be a long trip – the longest Jarrod had taken since he was blinded – but it really didn't give either one of them pause. What Jarrod wanted to talk about were his plans for when they got back home.
"You may not like this, but on the other hand, you may," Jarrod started off as he sat down behind his desk. He heard Clarence sit down in front of it. "This trip to Denver is going to be my last hurrah as an attorney. I'm planning to retire when we get home."
Clarence was silent at first, but when he finally spoke, he said, "Well, I'm actually not surprised."
Jarrod was. "You're not surprised? What, have you been reading my mind again?"
Clarence laughed. "No, but I think you might be reading mine. I've been wondering if it's getting to be time for me to strike out on my own."
"I was sure you were," Jarrod said, "and I know I've been far too gloomy over the past few weeks for you to think a lot about it but you pulled me out a bit, and then Audra pulled me out completely. When I felt that baby kick, I knew you two were on the verge of a big step forward in your lives and you need to be starting your own practice to support the family you're going to have. But then I realized, you don't need to start one. You already have one. This one."
Clarence couldn't help but smile at the peaceful look on Jarrod's face. "You really mean that, don't you?"
"I really do," Jarrod said. "For me as well as for you, it's time for you to take over this firm."