A/N: Well, hello there! After a long break Zayhad and I are back with a new multi-chaptered semi-long fic.
We plan on posting a new chapter every Thursday.
We hope you'll enjoy it; we certainly had fun writing it!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to J. K. Rowling

Chapter 1 – Are You Bloody Serious?

"An escort? An escort, Lily? Are you bloody serious?" Regulus Black, son of the prestigious Black family, super model and brother to the rising film star Sirius Black, scowled at his manager. "Absolutely not! Is it your mission to embarrass me as much as you possibly can?"

Lily Evans crossed her arms. "You were the one who made that nasty comment about homosexuals and now it's all over the bloody web, Regulus."

"Yeah, but an escort? Why would I degrade myself to buying a prostitute when I could go into any gay club and have my pick? I'm not saying I'm going along with your crazy fake boyfriend plan, but if I were, then a bloody prostitute would be out of the question!"

"I will explain to you why it's a good idea. Firstly, the escort signs a contract of confidentiality. Secondly, he is a professional who is used to protecting his clients' personal life. You can't count on a regular man to just play along."

"Why not? He's paid well and it would be a dream come true, dating a supermodel, even if it's only pro forma," said Regulus, sticking out his jaw in defiance.

"Yes, darling, but you know they might want to have sex with you and go bragging to their friends about it. An escort will do precisely what we pay him to and be quiet about it afterwards."

"Well, either way I'm not doing it. I've explained in several interviews that it was only meant as a good-natured joke. I'm sure people will understand, and even if they don't, it'll soon be old news."

"I can promise you it won't," said Lily and handed him a newspaper.

Regulus eyed the paper and then tossed it away. "So what if they don't believe me? I don't care what people think of me. I don't have a need to be worshipped like my brother has."

"If you don't fix this quickly, you will be out of work before you can say model. There are more homosexuals in the fashion industry than anywhere else, but if you think it will be fine, then go ahead and see."

Regulus stood contemplating her for a minute, biting his lip. "What about we just arrange for the paparazzi to catch me on a date with someone, and then people will think 'Okay, he's bisexual, so clearly not a homophobe', and end of story. Why do I have to fake a whole relationship?"

"Because it will be much more convincing if you keep him around for a few months. One date could easily be staged, and I bet lots of people will suspect exactly that. We have to do something more elaborate than that in order to be convincing."

Regulus crossed his arms and set his jaw. "Well, I'm not doing it, so there's no more to discuss!"

o0o0o

"His name is Remus. 21 years old, handsome and charming. The public is going to love him. He's arriving in two hours, so if you want to make yourself presentable, I suggest you start."

"I'm always presentable. Besides, I don't really have to woo him, do I? In fact, the less we see of each other, the better."

"You are going to spend as much time together as possible - even when out of the public eye. It's important that you get to know each other well so you are comfortable together," said Lily.

Regulus just scowled at her. He had no plans on following her instructions, except for when she was present.

Two hours later the doorbell rang. A nervous looking young man was invited in by Kreacher, the elderly butler. He struck up a confident smile when Lily came to greet him, followed by a sullen looking Regulus.

The model stood in the background until Lily turned and sent him a glare. Then he sighed and stepped forward, offering Remus his hand. "Regulus Black," he mumbled.

Remus' jaw dropped. He had heard that celebrities, such as film stars and models, generally looked better on pictures, but the opposite was true in this case – Regulus Black was even more beautiful in person. Remus quickly schooled his face into a normal expression and then shook his hand. "Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you, sir."

"You can't call me that. It would be very strange if my boyfriend didn't use my first name, wouldn't you agree?" said Regulus, eying the young man up and down, his expression impossible to read.

Remus nodded. "You're right, Regulus. I'm just used to being polite."

"Well, get used to it, or you will blow the project, and I will be finished in the business. Do you understand? The press and public are ruthless judges and although I didn't mean anything by that remark - honestly it was just a bad joke - they will not forgive me unless I prove that I'm not a homophobe. I'm sure Lily has filled you in on your purpose?"

"Aye," Remus nodded, looking from manager to model. "How much service do you expect me to provide?" When Regulus raised an eyebrow, looking puzzled, Remus explained: "Do you want to kiss in public? Hold hands? Summat more intimate?"

Regulus sighed and eyed Lily who gave him another strict look. They had discussed the kissing and she had ended up (as usual) winning the argument. "Yes to the first two. But we're leaving the kissing to a minimum. And no frenching, yeah?"

Remus nodded. "All right. I'll do whatever you want."

"Remember that I'm neither gay nor bisexual so none of this will be pleasurable for me. It's only for show."

Remus nodded again. "I realise that. I got a thorough explanation from me employer, and later from Miss Evans." This had to be the weirdest assignment he had ever taken on.

"Why are you talking like that, by the way? Can't you speak proper English?"

Remus looked taken aback. "What do you mean? I If you're referring to me accent, then there's a perfectly good explanation – I'm from Leeds, so naturally I have a Northern accent."

Regulus did not look impressed. He turned to Lily. "Why did you have to get a Northerner? You would think there were enough escorts in London to choose from."

"There's nothing wrong with Northerners," replied Lily. "And it's a smart move because Remus is much less likely to be recognised by a former costumer than a local escort would be."

Regulus huffed and turned back to Remus. "Can't you turn off the accent? Speak neutral English?"

"Not perfectly, but yes, I –" started Remus but was interrupted by Lily.

"No, Remus – you go ahead and speak in your normal accent."

"Why?" asked Regulus. "He just said he could –"

"Because it's charming and Remus doesn't need to focus on the way he speaks all the time. He should do what comes natural to him. Wouldn't you prefer that, Remus?" she finished, turning to the escort.

"Aye," nodded Remus. "And I'm not embarrassed by me accent, although I know many Southerners look down on Northerners," he said, throwing Regulus a subtle glance.

"And you shouldn't be," said Lily. "I'm sure Regulus will get used to it. He was just a bit surprised, isn't that right, Reg?"

Regulus gritted his teeth but didn't make any further comments. Instead he turned to the butler. "Kreacher, have you prepared a guest room for my... Remus here, like I asked?" Regulus spoke to the butler in a much kinder tone than he had to Remus.

"Yes, sir. The corner room in the south wing."

Lily shook her head. "No, no, that won't do. Boyfriends sleep in the same bed."

"What?" exclaimed Regulus, staring at her in disbelief. "Absolutely no way! This is my private home - there's no need to pretend!"

"We can't risk it. The paparazzi may find a way; you know their creativity is endless. Or one of your guests could notice something. Remember that only your parents and brother know about this, apart from us."

"I will not share a bed with him!" said Regulus, looking like an angry spoiled child.

"Yes, you will!" Lily demanded, hands on her hips.

Remus felt a little caught in the middle. "I can just sleep on the floor in your room," he offered.

"No, you won't," said Lily. "That would seem even stranger. And we are not treating you like Cinderella," she smiled at Remus. "Are we, Reg?"

Regulus rolled his eyes. "No..."

o0o0o

"Well, tomorrow we will do the set-up," said Lily when they had sat down in the parlour and been served tea by Kreacher.

"Yes, the sooner we get started, the sooner we can be done with this charade," said Regulus.

"You will have dinner at a restaurant, and one or two paparazzi will get an anonymous tip. Then there will be a nice big picture of you on the front page the next day and journalists will want to interview you. Make it convincing. Remember to hold hands and smile. For God's sake, Regulus, remember to smile!

Remus bit his lip. It was clear that Regulus was quite spoiled and arrogant. He had a feeling that this was going to be a hard job, but the pay was more than he had made the whole past year so he figured he could endure a spoiled kid like Regulus for a few months.

"Remus, you've had a long trip, you must be tired. Perhaps you would like a nap before dinner? Or would you like something to eat first?" Lily asked.

Remus shook his head. "I ate summat at the station when I arrived. I were hungry, so I thought –"

"Was," interjected Regulus.

"What?" said Remus, looking at the model.

"Was. It's I was, not I were. Didn't you learn that in school?"

"Yes, I know it's grammatically incorrect, but in Yorkshire we like to say 'were' instead of 'was' as in 'I were, she were, he were'. It's part of the dialect, just as many of the other things I say. I use it in spoken language only. I never use it in writing."

"Regulus, you will stop making fun of Remus' accent!" scolded Lily.

"I wasn't making fun! I was simply pointing out –"

"Yes, and you got an explanation, so enough!" she said, closing the subject.

When Remus took his things to the bedroom, Regulus followed him. "This idea of sleeping together is preposterous, but as you see I don't have much control over my own life. Make sure to wear pyjamas - I don't want to ever see any naked skin, apart from arms and lower legs."

"Aye," sighed Remus. "As you wish."

o0o0o

In bed, Regulus lay on the far left with his back turned. He had never been happier to have such a big bed. Sleep, however, wouldn't come. After an hour he asked the escort, "Do you usually sleep with your clients? I mean literally sleep."

Remus, who wasn't sleeping either, rolled onto his back. "Sometimes, but not often. They're paying by the hour, you see. But sometimes. Mostly rich men who don't care how much they spend. Or lonely ones."

"Right. But all clients want sex, yes?"

"Not all of them. Some just want me to accompany them to fundraisers and such. Both men and women. I know how to act around wealthy people and be the perfect date. It's me profession, you know. Not just the sex part."

"You sleep with women too?" asked Regulus, turning to face Remus. "Are you bisexual?"

"No, I don't sleep with the women. I only go on dates with them."

"Right... Do you enjoy it? The sex."

"Sometimes," Remus admitted.

"Really?" said Regulus in surprise. "Is that when you have a hot client?"

Remus found it peculiar that Regulus asked all those questions when he had seemed like he had no interest in him at all, but he decided to answer. "No, it's when they know what they're doing and care about my pleasure too. Like it is with sex in general."

"Huh..." said Regulus, again quite surprised. "Must be strange, though, Selling your body for money."

"You sell your body for money as well. I just do it differently," Remus retorted.

Regulus was so dumbstruck he just stared at Remus for a minute. Then he exploded. "You have some nerve! It's not the same at all! I don't let people touch me, let alone shag me! And I don't even do underwear! Well, except for a few times, but that was tasteful and non-sexual!"

"I'm sure it were," said Remus, not seeming like he was upset or affected by Regulus' acting up. "You asked me about me career and then throw it at me like I should be ashamed. If I were more privileged, like you, I wouldn't be doing it. Yet here we are and you are the one who's buying me now, so me job can't be all that bad. Even if I don't have sex with you. People rent you for shoots; they rent me for company. By the way, I'm quite sure your tasteful underwear pictures are being wanked to plenty." Remus turned his head and looked at Regulus.

Regulus sat up in bed, absolutely livid. "You... how dare you? I'm having Lily replace you tomorrow!" he finished and lay down again, turning his back to Remus.

o0o0o

"He's rude and disrespectful! You'll have to exchange him!"

"We can't hire someone else now. We need to get this show on the road today. I suggest the two of you sort things out."

"Do you want me to put up with his cheek? He insulted me!"

"See, I've known you for years, Reg, and insulting you is quite easy," Lily said. "What did he say that was so terrible?

"That's not important. It was very insulting, is all you need to know."

Lily sighed and then shook her head. "I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Just play along and when it's all over I bet you will look back and be grateful to him."

o0o0o

They took a taxi to the small restaurant Lily had found. It was a rather unknow place in a non-posh part of town. It had to look as if they were trying to go undetected, otherwise it might seem suspicious that they were caught just when Regulus needed some positive attention.

"Remember," said Lily, pointing at the two. "Hold hands. Smile a lot and a few kisses would be good."

Regulus sighed. "Send me a text when the paparazzi have arrived, yeah? There's no need giving a show to random people."

"Some might recognise you, Regulus, and people talk. You will put on a show all the way through!"

Regulus sighed again. "Yes, but the snogging part I will save for the paparazzi. Just remember to text me, yeah?"

"Yes, like I said."

"Take this," said Regulus and handed Remus a roll of breath mints. "If I'm going to snog you I would like to avoid bad breath."

"I'm an escort, not a dosser," Remus said but took the mints anyway. "I do brush me teeth. See?" He flashed him a pearly white smile.

"Just making sure," mumbled Regulus. He looked the other boy over. At least he was well dressed and quite handsome.

As soon as they stepped out of the taxi Regulus turned on his acting, taking Remus' hand and helping him out. "Come, darling, let's see if that restaurant my cousin recommended is any good, shall we?" he smiled.

Remus was a little taken aback by the sudden change in demeanour but he too turned on the charm and smiled lovingly at his companion. "Thanks, luv."

They walked the short way to the restaurant and Regulus gave his name to the waiter so he could show them to their table. Lily had asked for one by the windows so photographers would have a clear shot. A few people in the restaurant turned their heads and started whispering as they walked by.

Regulus ignored them. He hated being recognised on the street. It was as though the only place he could actually have a bit of privacy was his house, and now Lily had ruined that as well by insisting on going all the way with this boyfriend act and having Remus sleep in his bed. "You pick the wine, darling, as long as it's not a Chianti. You know I'm not too fond of Tuscan wine."

"Hmm," Remus said, scanning the wine list before pointing at a picture. "How about this one?"

Regulus eyed the chart. "Alright. We'll share a Chardonnay."

When the waiter arrived to take their order, Regulus asked for a large sea-food platter for two, figuring that eating from the same plate would send the right message.

Twenty-five minutes later Regulus' mobile, which was lying on the table, buzzed with an incoming message. He glanced at the screen discretely to read the text from Lily:

Paparazzi in place

Regulus intertwined their fingers and leaned forward to give Remus a gentle kiss. There was no tongue, but it was sensitive and sincere.

Remus closed his eyes and returned the kiss. For someone who isn't gay, he sure puts his soul into this. Not a bad kiss if I have to be honest.

o0o0o

They kept up the charade for the rest of the meal and on the way home. Lily arrived at the house a little later, looking very satisfied. "Things went according to plan. Two paparazzi spied on you for nearly an hour."

Remus smiled and nodded. He cast a glance in the direction of Regulus, who just ten minutes earlier had been loving and caring, but as soon as the doors had closed behind them was back to his obnoxious self.

"Tomorrow morning journalists will start calling, bombarding us with questions and asking for interviews," said Lily. "If anyone calls here, don't comment. Tell them to call me," she said, looking at both Regulus and Kreacher.

The elderly man nodded quickly and then turned to Regulus. "Do you wish for me to bring you anything, sir?"

"Yes, please, Kreacher. I would like to take tea in the south lounge. And please give Remus a proper tour of the house like we talked about earlier. Should have done it yesterday when he arrived, but I didn't think of it until today. Yesterday was a bit confused."

"Yes, Mr. Black," said the butler and bowed.

"I wish you would stop calling me that," sighed Regulus. "I have known you since I was 5. You're practically family."

"It is not fitting for servants to call their masters by their first name," said Kreacher, looking quite offended.

"Yes, yes, you keep saying that."

When Kreacher and Remus had left, Lily turned to Regulus. "So how did it go? Is he still obnoxious?"

"He behaved as was expected of him. At least he knows how to do his job, I'll give him that. Let's just hope he will be able to handle it when the whole media circus begins."

o0o0o

Kreacher showed Remus around the many rooms of the giant house. "Mr. Black says you can have the run of the entire house as you please, except for his private lounge and private bathroom. Feel free to help yourself to food and drink in the kitchen," he continued, turning on the light switch in the large kitchen. "The pool is in the basement - I doubt you would want to use the outdoor pool since it is only April. If you have any requests, feel free to come to me."

The young man looked around the kitchen, amazed by the size and luxury of every room he had seen. "Is this entire house only for Regulus?"

"What do you mean? He is the only one who lives here, yes. He has had a few lady friends live here shortly, but apart from that, just him."

"Just seems like an awful lot of space for one person," Remus continued while looking around.

The butler eyed Remus as if he were stupid. "Well, if there's nothing else, I will leave you to it," he said and left.

Remus looked over his shoulder as the butler left and mumbled to himself, "Must be lonely."