Chapter 7 – He's not a Circus Elephant

"You look unwell, sir," said the butler when Regulus sat down at the breakfast table. The model had dark circles under the eyes and his hair was dishevelled. Kreacher poured him a cup of tea and placed it in front of him.

"Mm..." mumbled Regulus. "Just a bit of a hangover. Had too much to drink last night. Have you seen Remus?"

"Our guest is outside. He wanted a bit of sun so he took his tea and breakfast out onto the deck," said the butler. "I shall fetch you some aspirin along with your breakfast, Mr. Black."

Regulus joined Remus on the deck once he had gotten his aspirin and a plate of breakfast. "You look good," he said, sitting down. "Considering last night. Better than me, I think. I don't feel too hot."

Remus turned his head and ran a hand through Regulus' hair to push it back, exposing his forehead to the cool breeze. "A bit of fresh air always helps me," he smiled at the model.

"Yeah..." said Regulus, feeling himself blush. What was he doing that for?

They sat looking out over the garden for a few minutes before Remus spoke again, "Thank you for a fun evening. I know it's me job, and that, but I had fun for once."

"For once? Am I that horrible to work for?" asked Regulus.

"That's not what I meant," sighed Remus, fearing that this was going to end up in another argument.

"Are you this ungrateful with all your clients?"

"Only one," Remus muttered.

"You mean me?" said Regulus, getting to his feet. "You get a load of money, the run of a big house and all its luxuries, attention and praise from everyone, and you don't even have to drop your trousers!"

"You must be proper insecure since you think it's you I talk about every time I say summat negative," growled Remus, his eyes piercing the model.

"You're the worst person I've ever worked with! Including sleezy photographers feeling me up!"

"Well, I can't be that bad since you keep snogging me, even when we're alone."

"Wh... I - I don't! I only did that once and that was because I was drunk! I didn't realise we didn't have to act any longer!"

"Oh, it's happened more than once! You know what? I think you're actually gay and dying to shag me. You just won't admit it because mummy might disapprove."

"What?" gasped Regulus, turning pale. Furious, he jumped to his feet. "I'm not gay and you have a fucking nerve to say that! I don't care what Lily says - we're doing this breakup NOW!You might as well pack your things!"

o0o0o

Lily was sitting with her morning tea when Regulus stomped into her house, the shock nearly making her spill her drink. "Regulus? What is the meaning of this?"

"I want him out! We're staging this breakup now! It's been nearly three weeks - that's got to be long enough!"

"We can't do that. Regulus, this is very good publicity and it will look suspicious if you break up already. What happened this time?"

"He's obnoxious and rude! And I'm not doing it anymore! Sod the press - they can speculate all they want about the reason! Mission is accomplished anyway, because nobody believes I'm homophobic now, not with kissing him like that and all."

After a bit more discussion Regulus left in a rage, telling Lily that he would go visit a friend and that Remus could have the house to himself.

o0o0o

Lily went over to Regulus' house to have a talk with Remus about what was going on. "I talked to Regulus and I put him straight. You don't have to leave. He'll cool off. You know how he is, by now."

"Sadly yes. I got to admit this is the toughest job I've ever had." Remus sighed and ran his fingers though his hair. "One minute he's propper nice to me, and then he turns completely around. I would almost prefer it if he were mean all the time – at least then I would know where I stand with him."

"I don't think he really knows how he feels himself," sighed Lily. "And he's very sensitive and insecure. What did you say to upset him that much? He was furious."

"He got angry at me for saying I had a good time last night for once. He thought I meant I never enjoyed meself with him until yesterday, which is not true. Then he went on about how ungrateful I were for all I had here and I didn't even have to drop me trousers to get paid. So I got angry and said I were pretty sure he were in fact gay and wanted to sleep with me but he were afraid of his mother." He hung his head and sighed. "I know that was probably a low blow."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "And you wonder why he got so angry? Well, I don't blame you for getting fed up with him and lashing out. But it's best that you don't mention his mother again. She's a sensitive topic. She's always been a very dominant figure in Regulus' life. Still is, even though he's an adult and lives on his own now. He's always done what she wanted, and she has never considered his wants or needs. She's been parading him around since he could walk. I don't think he got much time to play and just be a child. She always had projects for him - commercials and shoots and whatnot. She tried the same with Sirius, but Sirius has never let anybody parade him around."

"Well... I think perhaps Regulus is right. Perhaps it is best we stop this now so we can get out of each other's hair."

"Remus, please," she said, putting a hand on his. "Hold on for a bit longer, please? Just try not to push his buttons and it'll be alright, I think. I can tell he actually likes you. You had a good time last night, from what I've heard. It wasn't just acting, was it?"

"I told him I had a grand time and he took it as an insult," Remus sighed. "And if he likes me, he has a weird way of showing it."

"Well, he's a complicated person. I know he can be difficult. Just hold on for another month, yeah? I gave him a good talking to. Just avoid mentioning his mother."

o0o0o

Regulus didn't come home that night, and the next day he didn't return until late afternoon where he had to get ready for an awards show where Sirius was nominated for a supporting role. He just gave Remus a sullen nod when he passed him and hurried into the bathroom to fix himself up.

On their way out to the taxi Regulus looked Remus up and down when he wasn't looking. He didn't want him to think he was interested. He looked great in his outfit - those trousers hugged his bottom perfectly. Not that Regulus cared.

Before they stepped out of the car to the eagerly awaiting press along the red carpet, Regulus looked Remus in the eye seriously. "This is a very important night. Loads of press. On the telly live. So we both have to put up our best act, yeah?"

"I will smile and behave as always. Don't worry. I won't make you look bad. I'm not here to ruin your life, remember?"

"Skip the attitude, then, yeah? I'll do the same. We'll be just as happy together as the other night. The party, I mean."

"Aye," Remus nodded and took a deep breath. "You lead the way, luv." He stepped out after Regulus and was almost blinded by the flashes. He struck up his brightest smile and let Regulus lead him down the red carpet. They moved slowly, having to stop every so often to pose for photographers and answer questions.

"Oh, Regulus Black!" said a BBC reporter once the camera had been stuck in his face. "Are you excited to see if your brother gets an award tonight?"

Regulus gave Remus' hand a squeeze, signalling to him that this was an important one, because everybody watched BBC. "Of course," he smiled. "I hope for the best. He always puts his whole heart into his roles, so I think he deserves it."

"You both have successful careers and lately you have taken most of the spotlight – because of your new boyfriend with whom you stand here today. Tell us, how does your brother react to you being with a male companion?"

"Sirius? Oh, he's delighted! He has always been an openminded person, so he's just happy for me, and he likes Remus very much. But who wouldn't?" Regulus said and gave Remus a smile that looked so much like someone in love, that it sent chills down Remus' spine.

"So this is your first time on the red carpet?" asked the BBC reporter, turning to Remus. "Are you excited to be here with your celebrity boyfriend?"

"Aye. Very."

"It must be very different from your normal life."

"Just a tiny bit," Remus replied with a wink and a smile.

"With his charm he would fit in anywhere. I'm surprised no one snatched him up before I did. He's a real gem, aren't you, darling?" Regulus smiled at Remus.

They made their way into the building and stopped for a glass of champagne before going into the grand hall. They were seated at a table with Sirius, James and two actresses from the film in which Sirius was nominated for supporting actor.

"Oh, Regulus, hello," smiled one of the actresses, a pretty brunette. "And... what was it your name was?" she asked Remus.

"It's Remus, Dorcas," chastised the other actress, a blonde with deep blue eyes. "Haven't you heard Sirius talk about him?"

"Yes, but I'm an idiot with names. Hello, Remus," the girl smiled. "I'm Dorcas. And this is Marlene."

"Hello, miss… and miss," Remus smiled, shaking both their hands.

Marlene studied him for a brief moment and asked. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh yes! It's nowt to worry about. I've just been a bit under the weather yesterday, but I'm fine now."

"Oh, you have wonderful accent!" gushed Dorcas. "A bit like Sean Bean. I worked with him last year. Brilliant actor!"

Remus nodded. "You have an ear for accents. We're both from Yorkshire."

"You talk like Jon Snow too," said Marlene.

"Oh, yes - can you do Jon Snow? Do Jon Snow!" said Dorcas excitedly.

Regulus buried his face in his hands, hoping there were no journalists or video cameras close by. He just knew Remus was going to do it – he never missed an opportunity to provoke Regulus with his accent.

Remus cleared his throat and put on a grave face. "Winter is coming," he spoke in a sombre voice. "I never knew my mother. I'm a bastard, son of Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell."

Regulus bit the skin of his palms so hard it hurt in order to keep from groaning or saying something out loud. On the other side of him Sirius was laughing; as was everyone else around the table.

"You're good!" applauded Dorcas. "Do some more!"

"He's not a circus elephant," Regulus snapped, looking up from his hands.

"I think me boyfriend is a bit embarrassed so I think I best spare him," Remus smiled at the women.

"N-no! Of course I'm not embarrassed, darling," said Regulus and planted a kiss on Remus' cheek. He eyed the others apologetically. "I'm just a little protective of him. You know, he's not used to all this attention, but I forget how brilliantly he has taken to celebrity life. You'd think he had been living it forever."

"Well, everyone's been proper nice to me so how could I not feel at home?" Remus said and sipped at his champagne.

"You're brilliant, mate," said Sirius, leaning behind Regulus to pat Remus on the back. "Got my boring brother to liven up a bit."

"I'm not boring, am I?" said Regulus, trying to look as if he were pretending to be hurt, and took Remus' hands above the table to lace their fingers together. "My brother is just jealous that I'm the one who's getting most of your attention."

"Boring is the last thing you are, luv," Remus smiled and raised their hands to kiss Regulus'.

"Get a room, you two," James said.

"You're just jealous," said Regulus, still looking at Remus.

"Nah, I like birds too much."

Remus kept looking at Regulus, feeling the pain grow in his heart. He knew he shouldn't do it but he leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. As they parted, he whispered so only Regulus could hear him, "I'm sorry."

Regulus looked at him in surprise, then leaned in to whisper in his ear, "For what?"

"For being an arse," said Remus and caressed Regulus' hand with his thumb. "I shouldn't have accused you like that. I don't like to see you upset, so I'm very sorry."

Regulus remained quiet for a moment, his mouth still next to Remus' ear. Then he gave a short nod. "It's okay. Thank you. I wasn't… I wasn't very nice, either. Let's just forget it, yeah?" He leaned back to smile at Remus and give him another kiss.

"Seriously – do get that room," said James. "BBC is here, and last I checked, they weren't allowed to show porn in prime time."

"Fuck off, Potter," mumbled Regulus and sat back up, quickly taking a long drag from his wine glass, hoping his blush didn't show.

"We'll cool it now," Remus assured James, still holding Regulus' hand. He felt a lot better after saying sorry and even getting an apology in return.

The rest of the evening went smoothly. Sirius didn't win his award, but not many had really expected him to. He was still a young actor with a long career ahead of him.

"I'm moody now," Sirius muttered as they moved toward the exit.

"Honestly, Sirius? You expected to win?" asked Regulus. "It's an honour just being nominated."

"I know, but I still would have liked that trophy."

"I think every actor would and the lad that won were also proper good," Remus said. "But I'm sure you'll get it next time."

Sirius eyed him for a moment and then pointed at Regulus. "I like your boyfriend."

"Yeah, well, don't get too attached," mumbled Regulus.

"I feel like getting sloshed. Anyone want to join me? Go to a bar or something?"

James nodded eagerly but Regulus shook his head. "I think I had enough booze for a while the other night. I think I'll go home and get some sleep."

However, before they could get anywhere, a horde of fans noticed them and rushed over, begging for autographs and selfies. Sirius struck up a smile and happily started signing everything that was handed to him (as did James). Regulus usually gave his autograph when people asked, but he only did it out of duty; unlike his brother, who thrived on all the attention. It took a while, because the fans all wanted photos - especially with the brothers together, but many also wanted Regulus and Remus. Several even asked for Remus' autograph as well.

o0o0o

"You look tired," Remus said on their way home.

"I am. Haven't had a good night's sleep. Barty - the friend I stayed over with last night - kept me up talking until late, because we hadn't seen each other for a while. He's a talker, that one."

Remus looked out the window at the passing streetlights. "If you were a regular person, not famous, and that, what kind of life would you have wanted? What kind of work?"

Regulus looked a little surprised and considered it for a long moment. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it. My career has always been set for me. I was born in a celebrity family and I've been modelling as far back as I remember. I've never had reason to consider what to do or how to live my life."

"You just don't seem very happy... That's why I asked. Your brother's living for the spotlight and fans, but you? You seemed like you were just enduring it because you had to, when the fans came over." Remus rested his chin on his palm. "So I were just wondering if there were ever summat else you dreamed of doing instead of being a model."

Regulus shook his head. "I'm fine. I could really do without all the attention, but that comes with the job. I try getting away with as little fan contact as possible, but when I can't, then I'll pose for the bloody pictures and write those autographs, because if I don't, then I come off as a complete prick. But I just see it as part of the job. At least I'm not overloaded with attention and frantic fans like Sirius. You know how crazy people get about film-stars and Sirius is getting more and more popular. I couldn't do that. I really couldn't. At least I can walk down the street in a pair of sun glasses without being recognised by half the people I pass."

Remus nodded, sending Regulus a little smile. "I can't imagine being as famous as Sirius. Your level of famous is more than plenty."

"What about you?" asked Regulus after a short break. "If you could do anything you wanted?"

"Mm," Remus hummed. "I've always wanted to try living in the countryside. We usually went to the country on holidays and that. With me mum. Or school excursions. I always liked nature."

"I meant how you would earn a living if you weren't an escort. You would work in the country, or what? Like a farmer?" Regulus laughed softly.

"I haven't considered that, but who knows? Perhaps I would be a mint farmer," Remus chuckled. "Or perhaps summat with music. Or a teacher. Summat with kids wouldn't be too bad."

"You could be a singer," suggested Regulus. "You're certainly talented enough and with professional training I bet you could get even better. And there are plenty of successful singers who are less talented than you."

"Aye, perhaps," Remus smiled softly, the compliment making him feel all sorts of warm inside. "I just don't think I'm cut out for it in the long run. A more subtle life for me, I think."

"No, you're doing great in this lifestyle! It comes easy to you and people like you. You could definitely do it. But I suppose the music business isn't all about talent. It has a lot to do with luck, and with who you know and especially how you look. How many famous singers are there who aren't very attractive? Not many. There must be a lot more out there with great voices and talent who don't make it big because they aren't hot."

"So, I'm not hot?" Remus asked with feigned hurt.

"I didn't say that! Yeah, you're handsome enough to catch the interest of people in the field..." Regulus looked out the window, not sure if he should have given Remus all those complements. He might just think he fancied him.