Chapter 10 – What's with the Shirt?
The week passed fairly quickly after the fashion show was over. It had been a hard few days for Regulus, and Remus had been careful to not say anything that might upset him. This resulted in them actually getting along quite well.
The morning of the departure for Spain, Remus felt his stomach knot up. He realised just then that he had to get on a plane and he really wasn't a fan of heights. The trip to the London Eye had been almost too much. How was he going to handle flying all the way above the clouds?
At the airport, he sat with a cup of coffee in his hands, looking down at the floor and breathing slowly through his nose, trying to calm himself.
Regulus looked at him, a little puzzled. "Are you nervous? Scared of flying?"
"Eh… I never been on a plane before," Remus admitted. "I haven't been out of the UK and I've been taking the train when going somewhere within the country." He sent him a nervous smile and sipped at his coffee.
Regulus' mouth fell open. "Really? Well... There's nothing to fear. Flying is the safest means of transportation there is."
"I know, that's what people say, but you do remember London Eye, yeah?"
"Right," Regulus nodded slowly. "I made you forget you fear, though," he winked.
"Aye. You have that impact on me. You can't kiss me on the entire plane ride, though," Remus smiled. It had been a week – a whole week – without fighting, and Remus felt he had gotten much closer with the model. It had become a habit to sleep close under the same duvet. After a few times Regulus had not even bothered making up excuses for doing it, such as being cold.
o0o0o
On the plane, two girls sitting across the aisle recognised them and asked for autographs. "Are you going on holiday?"
"Yes. It's our first holiday together, so we're looking forward to that," answered Regulus.
The girls asked for a picture and Regulus whispered to Remus, "Try to smile and not look scared. They might put it on the net."
"Of course," Remus said and struck up his best smile while holding Regulus' hand and leaning in for the picture.
Rolling down the runway, faster and faster, Regulus took Remus' hand again. When the plane left the ground, Remus squeezed his hand so much it hurt but Regulus didn't complain. The plane shook as it broke through the clouds and without thinking about it, Remus pressed his face against Regulus' neck, breathing quickly and superficially.
"It's alright," Regulus whispered, an arm wrapped around him.
The plane finally settled above the clouds and Remus calmed down but didn't let go of Regulus' hand, although loosening his tight grip. "Sorry if I hurt your hand," he whispered.
"That's alright. I'm not made of glass."
o0o0o
They rested a bit at the hotel and then went into the small town, looking at stores and taking pictures of themselves like normal couples would. Remus didn't have to strain himself to keep up the act; it all just seemed so natural now.
They ended up in a very cosy court yard drinking wine and eating tapas.
"You know one of the best things about being a place like this? I rarely get recognised on the street. Of course, I'm known here, but mostly in the fashion industry. Nothing like back home where most of the public knows who I am. The only ones who have recognised me since we left the airport are the staff at the hotel, but that's because they already knew I was coming. It's very liberating. Makes me feel like a normal person."
Remus poured them both another glass from their now nearly empty bottle of Rioja. "Must be nice to be able to let your hair down for a bit." "Not having to sign autographs and smile at the camera every two minutes."
"Exactly. We have to keep up our act, though, because we will be recognised once in a while. Especially by tourists. A lot of Brits come here. And most people who recognise a celebrity don't contact them. They just take photos. So we might be recognised without even knowing it." He leaned forward and planted a kiss on Remus' lips as if to illustrate what he meant by keeping up the act.
Remus blushed slightly and smiled, resting his chin on his palm, sending Regulus an adoring gaze. "I'll keep up the act, don't worry."
"Good. We're a newly in love couple on a romantic getaway."
"Sounds like a plan I can live with."
o0o0o
They came back to the hotel quite late, both a little drunk. They climbed the stairs to their room, giggling and shushing each other as they went. Laughing, Regulus tripping over the doorstep but was caught by Remus' arms. Still holding him, Remus looked at him with a smile. "I really enjoyed meself today."
"Me too," said Regulus. "I'm knackered, though, so how about we get to bed?" He leaned forward and kissed Remus but then pulled back. "Sorry... forgot. You know..."
Remus leaned in and gave Regulus a kiss as well, only just parting their lips to say, "I'm sorry too."
"Wha... that doesn't make any sense... I said sorry because I kissed you while we we're in private, and then you kiss me and say you're sorry too?" Then he laughed. "I'm too drunk to understand:"
"You kissed me and said sorry," said Remus. "So I kissed you too and said sorry." He gave the model a wink and finally let him go. "Let's get to bed before we mess up too much."
Since they were in a suite, there was more than one bed, and since they weren't at home and Lily had said nothing about their sleeping arrangement here, Remus was in doubt as to what Regulus was expecting. He would probably want to sleep in separate beds now that he finally had the chance. For some reason Remus was a little afraid to ask, so while Regulus was in the bathroom, he just climbed under the covers of one of the beds; then Regulus would probably let him know if he had other plans.
But Regulus didn't talk about the sleeping arrangements, he just climbed into Remus' bed and under the covers. It had a double sheet and blanket, but Regulus didn't comment on that either and didn't go to get an extra sheet from the other bed; he just cuddled up to Remus the same way he had the night after the first day of the fashion week.
Remus felt his heart skip a few beats when Regulus crawled under the covers and curled up against him, and he lay awake half an hour or so, just listening to the model's steady breathing.
o0o0o
Remus woke slowly to the smell of Regulus and the feel of his warm body; and he couldn't imagine something better to wake up to. They were still lying curled up together, Remus' arm around Regulus and the model's face snuggled into Remus' neck.
Regulus called room service when they got up, asking to have breakfast served on the balcony. The temperature was perfect and the ocean view stunning.
"Did you sleep okay?" Remus asked while buttering a piece of toast. When Regulus nodded, Remus continued. "Is there summat special you'd like to do while you're here? Since you finally have some time off, I mean."
"Mostly just relax, when I'm not on the shoot. But if you want to do something active, I'll come along. Unless you would like a bit of time to yourself."
"I like spending time with you," Remus said and bit down on his toast.
"My first shoot is tomorrow, so how about we spend today just relaxing down by the pool, swimming, sunbathing, having drinks? Kreacher packed you some trunks, didn't he?"
Remus swallowed a lump. How was he going to get out of this one? "I… I think so."
After breakfast Remus went into the bathroom to change into the trunks Kreacher had packed for him and a thin tank-top, which he had a vain hope he could get away with keeping on. When he came out from the bathroom he found Regulus standing waiting for him in a pair of tight trunks and nothing else. Remus gawked at the beautiful model. His body was absolutely perfect from head to toe, making it even harder for Remus to feel confident about his own body. He prayed to God that Regulus would just let him keep his tank-top on.
The model's eyes fell on Remus. "What's with the shirt?"
"Eh…" Remus said and scratched his neck. He couldn't stand the thought of Regulus seeing him shirtless and he didn't dare tell him why. "I just felt like keeping one on today."
"Listen – that thing I said the first night about never letting me see more of your body than arms and legs – you aren't taking that seriously still, right? That was just because I was mad at the whole situation and didn't know you."
"I know," Remus nodded. "I'd just really like to keep it on."
"Come on – it's hot and we're on holiday!" said Regulus and stepped forward. Before Remus could react, Regulus was pushing up his shirt. "Lose the..." and Regulus spotted the very pronounced scars running across the escort's stomach and chest. "What the hell is that? Why didn't you tell us you had those? I can't be seen with you like this! Who would believe you're my boyfriend?"
Remus had to bite down on his lip to not let it show that those words hurt more than anything else Regulus had ever said to him. "I didn't think it would matter since I wasn't supposed to sleep with you," he mumbled. It was as he had feared: Regulus was disgusted with him, and why wouldn't he be? Remus was disgusted with himself.
"Well, keep the top on, then," said Regulus, feeling a little betrayed in some way, as if Remus had been lying about his appearance in order to get the job or something. "Let's go." He put on his sun glasses and went for the door, a towel slung over his shoulder and sunscreen and a book in his hands.
Remus hung his head, feeling his already fragile heart shatter. He didn't think he would be able to keep up the act at the pool, smiling and having Regulus treat him nicely there when Remus knew it was just for show. It would hurt too much, so he went to the bathroom and changed back to his normal clothes, deciding to spend the rest of the day alone in town or walking along the beach.
o0o0o
Regulus sat down by the pool, occupying the sunbed next to him for Remus, his towel laid out on it. When the escort still hadn't come down fifteen minutes later, Regulus sighed and went up to their room to see what was keeping him. To his surprise Remus was nowhere to be seen.
Regulus sent him a text. Where are you? Been waiting by the pool!
I'll just leave you alone today so I don't embarrass your perfect facade, was the text that returned from a clearly upset Remus.
Regulus sighed and sent another text. Don't be so sensitive. I didn't mean it like that. Come back! You can just keep the top on. Butthere was no reply.
So Regulus spent the entire day alone, and in the evening where Remus had still not returned, he was forced to make up an excuse at dinner in the hotel restaurant as to why his boyfriend was not accompanying him.
It wasn't until around midnight, after Regulus had gone to bed, that the door to the room opened quietly and Remus stepped in. He tiptoed to the bathroom, remerging ten minutes later and crawling into the unoccupied bed.
But Regulus was not asleep. He had been lying awake, waiting. He turned on his bedside table lamp and padded over to Remus' bed, sitting down on it, on the side to where Remus had his back turned. "You were out late," he said in a soft voice. "I was worried." When there was no reply, he continued, "I'm so sorry for what I said. It was very inconsiderate. It just flew out my mouth."
Remus lay quiet, pretending to be asleep, but when Regulus was still sitting there a few minutes later, he slowly sat up, although not looking at the model. "It's my own business about the scars and I didn't think it mattered because sleeping with you wasn't part of the job, so I wouldn't be naked around you."
"You're right," said Regulus. "It isn't any of my business. We didn't hire you as a model or anything, so it doesn't matter."
Remus sat with his head bent, his eyes hidden behind his fringe. No, he was no model; far from perfect looking like Regulus.
"I'm sorry I was so cruel. I don't know why I reacted like that. It must have made you feel very unattractive," Regulus said, putting a hand on Remus' knee to show that he wasn't disgusted by him. "But you aren't. Apart from those few scars you're very handsome."
"That's why I don't sleep with rich costumers anymore," Remus said. "They'd feel they didn't get what they paid for, like you just did. I don't have an attractive body anymore so I took this job because it were a chance for me to start over with that money."
"You do have an attractive body. It's only the scars that aren't so pretty. Everything else is."
Remus was quite again, trying to let the words sink in.
"I don't think you're unattractive, Remus," said Regulus, running a hand down Remus side. "Come to bed, won't you? The other one is nicer than this one." He took Remus' hand and pulled him to his feet, walking him to his own bed.
Remus followed hesitantly and crawled under the covers. Thoughts were racing though his mind. Although Regulus now said that he didn't find him disgusting, his first reaction still stuck.
Regulus slipped under the covers as well and moved in behind Remus, spooning him. He wrapped an arm around him and kissed the back of his neck. "See? I wouldn't still kiss and touch you if I thought you were disgusting, would I? What else can I do to prove it to you?"
"You don't have to do anything," Remus sighed but took Regulus' hand, tangling their fingers, feeling a little better as he started to let himself believe what Regulus was saying.
They lay quiet for a while until Regulus asked, "What happened to you, Remus? It looked serious. It must have been. If you don't mind me asking."
Remus sighed and moved his thumb a bit, caressing Regulus' palm. "Remember I told you about the costumer that hired me a lot? The one I fell in love with?"
Regulus nodded.
"Well... after I made that confession to him and he panicked, and that, I didn't hear from him for weeks, so I figured I would never see him again. I were heartbroken, but it were me own fault, you know? Falling for a costumer… it's the dumbest thing an escort can do. But then suddenly he booked me for a Monday evening – our usual day. I were thrilled. I thought perhaps he'd changed his mind, or that at least we could keep seeing each other like before. When I got there, the room were dark so I thought maybe he hadn't arrived yet, but then I spotted him by the window. He motioned for me to come over to him, but when I got close, he grabbed me by the hair and threw me on the bed. Then I realised it weren't him. It were someone else. Someone big. And strong. When he turned on the light so I could see him, I wished he hadn't. He looked like a monster. Rough and hairy, and his eyes…" Remus took a shaking breath and continued. "He looked at me like I were a tasty meal. He told me I were a problem that needed to go away. He had been payed to take care of it but he were gonna have his fun with me first, he said. He…" Remus choked. "H-he cut me. And beat me. Just for the fun of it. I don't know where me costumer had found this man but he must have called in a favour from hell."
"What..." said Regulus in a horrified whisper. "He… How can... He tortured you? How can someone... How did you get away?"
"Me agency called the police because I hadn't returned. All arrangements go through the agency, so they know when we're supposed to be done, and then we have to check in with them. We have GPS in our phones, so they know where we are." Remus sighed. "Lucky for me, this man didn't know how the system works, so it saved me life."
"Fuck, Remus... I'm so sorry. How can you continue escorting after that? How do you dare?"
Remus shrugged. "I have to make a living, don't I? I always make sure to tell costumers before we start, that the agency knows where I am and expect me to check in when we're done. But I've been scared ever since, anyway. That's why I jumped at the chance to get a fresh start when I was offered this job and all that money. So I could afford starting on an education, and that."
Regulus turned on the lamp on the bed table, pushed away the covers and gently rolled Remus onto his back. He slowly pushed his shirt up, hesitating a bit to give Remus a chance to stop him. When he didn't, Regulus pushed it all the way up and pulled it over his head. His eyes swept over the naked chest and stomach, and he let his fingers gently trace some of the scars. "Does it still hurt?"
Remus blushed a little but then shook his head. "Not physically, no."
"When did it happen?" asked Regulus, both hands now gently roaming Remus' upper body.
"Half a year ago. I spent two weeks in the hospital." Remus shivered at the touch. He had almost forgotten how it felt to be touched so tenderly.
Regulus bent down and placed a kiss on the largest scar on Remus' stomach. "You're not disgusting. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I don't know why. Perhaps it was just out of habit. That was how my mother would have reacted, but I don't want to be like her."
Remus ran his fingers through Regulus' silky locks. "I don't want you to be like her, either. "
Regulus pulled his own shirt off and looked at Remus. "There. It's only fair that we're both in the same state. Besides, it's hot here."
"Just got a little hotter," Remus smiled and hesitated before letting his hands explore Regulus' smooth chest.
Regulus laughed. "You're coming with me to the shoot tomorrow, yeah? I'm sure they take good care of guests. You can sit on the beach with a cold cocktail in your hand while watching."
"Of course," Remus said, hands still roaming. He had been wondering how soft the model's skin was and now he finally had his answer.
"Great," Regulus smiled. "I'll be proud to show off my boyfriend." He lay back down, pushing Remus onto his side, so they could spoon again. "Let's get some sleep then, yeah? We have to get up in six hours."