The Angel Part Four.

Winding our way through the basement of Bart's hospital was an extraordinary experience. It was to me incomprehensible why anyone would wish to traverse these cold corridors with their dark empty rooms, yet Mr Holmes moved in a fashion that indicated an intimate familiarity with his surroundings and also an air of contentment.

"Turn left here Miss Watson and then proceed to the second door on the right, there is a shortcut through that room which will take us directly onto a parallel corridor and into a small stairwell."

"I say, it looks pitch-black in there, are you sure it is quite safe?"

"Not at all, I believe it contains both combustible chemicals and a fair amount of broken glass, fortunately we are not barefoot. However please hold that lantern a little higher as a precaution, a small explosion would be most inconvenient."

We were making slow but steady progress and as I moved the light upwards it cast our long shadows against the opposite wall, like some huge drunken beast slightly swaying. But as soon as we entered the darkened room Inspector Lestrade went pale and collapsed, instinctively I turned to catch him, sadly throwing us all off balance. There was a combined undignified grunt as we hit the floor, then Mr Holmes' restraint seemed to also crumble. "Miss Watson, if you had allowed yourself to be leaned upon correctly and not feel the urge to administer aid every few seconds, then I would not now be kneeling in shards of glass, will you please do as you are told!"

"And will you please refrain from instructing me on how to proceed with a patient Mr Holmes. You evidently have great natural abilities to-to, well to do whatever you do, but will you leave the sick to those of us whom have some sympathy with their suffering, as I perceive you do not." I stood and brushed myself down, "I did turn to catch the Inspector, indeed it was somewhat unfortunate that I instigated a collective collapse, however it was not I assure deliberate."

"Then if you intend to do something positive, please approach it with more deliberation madam, your current efforts are merely resulting in increased suffering for us all."

"I was able to hold his head to prevent further injuries."

"Unfortunately you were unable to also save mine, perhaps if you just allowed him to faint he will become more pliant."

"Pliant yes, but it will not help his condition. Inspector, INSPECTOR! "

"Oh for gods-sake Lestrade do wake up, your little angel here is becoming loud and unreasonable, thus alerting the whole building to our presence."

"Eh?"

" Will you stop elbowing him sir, you are only adding to his discomfort."

" His discomfort will be much worse if this incompetence persists. Here, do try to focus on those steps Inspector, one at a time."

"Hummm."

"Now madam, we all need to steady ourselves, follow my directions without question and proceed with a little more determination."

"Must we move with such haste Mr Holmes? Some of us like to walk with dignity and not dash about everywhere."

"Time is of the essence."

"I understand that, but please also bear in mind that my shoulder and leg are not at their best."

"I am thoroughly acquainted with your condition madam, I have accounted for it and therefore you are required to do little more than act as a counter-balance, keeping the Inspector upright and to also light the way. You may further indulge me by abstaining from persistent chatter and walking in silence."

" You are dashed impossible; indeed I have never met anyone so rude?"

"And honest madam, "

"That's it; I shan't go another step until you desist with these insults."

" Very well, I have also accounted for your inept ability to engage in logical interaction; after all you are a female. Therefore I have anticipated a possible delay," he checked his pocket watch, "you have exactly eight minutes to overcome this stubbornness. Obviously what is desperately needed is teamwork, something a woman is incapable of."

" No Mr Holmes, teamwork actually requires respect and trust, not just a man."

He shoved the Inspectors head to one side and scowled at me, "I trust you implicitly, as your motivations are entirely transparent, there is no malice where ignorance exists, however it is blatantly obvious that you do not wholly trust me. I advise you to dispense with these irrational fears as they are becoming a hindrance to our present progress."

"Do you occasionally speak common english Mr Holmes, or is it just constant dictionary?"

"Oye both of you, stop that now or I swear I'll have us all down the yard ... for ... for ...well for mistreating an officer of the law."

I nearly dropped the little policeman again, "I'm sorry Inspector, you are quite right, we are behaving deplorably."

"I doubt the legitimacy of that charge Lestrade and its ability to stand in a court of law. Now both of you remain here, theoretically there should only be one other door in this room but I now observe a third, you now have six more minutes to consider your poor attitude Miss Watson, of course I will use that time wisely and re-examine our options."

The Inspector waited until Mr Holmes had disappeared and then leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "let im be Miss and it's best for us all if he as his way, he likes the last word You see. He's always right anyway and if he's wrong then it's his opinion and believe-me, he always has a bathtub of opinions." He looked quickly over his shoulder, "you see Mr Holmes gets into these snappish moods... he hurts people, but that's just ow he is. I sometimes think he'll willingly hack off is arm to solve a case and then slap everyone else with the one he's left with." He briefly smiled at the oddness in his own metaphor, then his face went deadly serious, "Miss, I very much need to get back to my missus, an they'll already be ell to play when she claps eyes on this leg, but she'll skin us all alive if we leave her waiting all night."

(I was seriously beginning to warm to this wonderful little man and his constantly shifting accent, but the idea of anyone 'skinning' Mr Holmes made me thoroughly respect his wife.)

Mr Holmes said nothing when he returned; he simply checked his watch again and signalled that we proceed in the direction he had just come. We started to slowly walk forward and I wisely kept silent, indeed the Inspectors advice was sound, if I did not take his poor attitude personally then it would not cause offense.

"STOP!" We immediately all collided and almost collapsed again. He had raised his hand but now quickly lowered it and caught us. "Stay here" and he raced ahead, flattening himself against a wall, then twisting his head around a corner. We both waited, slightly swaying.

When he returned his voice was a low whisper, "there are two people ahead, a doctor and a young excitable nurse, neither can be trusted and both are currently somewhat busy, they are not about to move any time soon. Unfortunately, as they block our exit we will now have to go back and take the main staircase."

I learned inwards towards his ear, "you know we will never manage those stairs. We can hardly walk straight as it is. And what the devil are staff doing down here at this hour?"

Mr Holmes pulled backwards so rapidly that I suspected my proximity had unnerved him, "do not pretend naivety madam, they are here as we are, because this part of the hospital is normally empty and they require some privacy."

Inspector Lestrade dipped his head between ours, "I think I can handle stairs, actually I'm feeling a little better already."

"You have been frequently experiencing alternative waves of lucidity and drowsiness sir, this is normal in your situation as your body is being fueled by adrenalin, indeed we can use this to our benefit, but it will soon tire you out. Very well Mr Holmes, we will take the large staircase, but be prepared to carry him once we reach the top."

" Agreed, however once outside and in full view of that look-out we must play our roles, so do keep a little of that adrenalin in reserve Inspector, I have a cab at Grayfriars. "

"You have a cabbie waiting?"

"Absolutely not madam, I trust no-one in this matter. I have temporally borrowed a hackney."

The Inspector looked at Mr Holmes in horror, "you, you stole a cab! An.. an... an not the orse too Mr Olmes?"

"Lower your voice inspector," he hissed, "what would be the point of taking the cab without the nag? Dear-me, for a police officer you can sometimes ask the most preposterous questions. Now this way and do be quiet."

It was perhaps better that we required concealment as we made an amusing sight. Mr Holmes's great height meant he had to almost bend double to support the little Inspector and my limping had us going in all different directions. However it was the Inspector's outlandish costume that was our main handicap, we were all tripping over his skirts, Mr Holmes included. Then his large hat kept slipping or loosing something from the odd assortment of silk flowers and wax fruit that embellished it. I had suggested he simply remove this disguise until we reached our destination, but Mr Holmes was adamant that we all kept in character and not divert from his original plans.

"Here, let us stop at the stairs and rest, Inspector give Miss Watson back that cane, she may need it as her leg is tiring. But would you please desist from poking me with it madam or I shall simply confiscate it again."

"Thank you Inspector, I do not promise any such thing Mr Holmes."

He stood and examined the steep staircase and then turned to look at us in clear frustration. "Miss Watson, you will have to go first, continue to hold the lantern and act as a guide, I will take the rear to both prevent Lestrade from falling and to push him upwards."

"Very well" I held out my hand and the little policeman took it, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

" I'd be honoured follow the nurse Mr Holmes," he gave me a lob-sided smile, "though I'd rather you found your wings and flew us up my dear."

"I am afraid not this time Inspector; I seem to have lost them, rather careless of me."

"Will you both concentrate, we are wasting time!"

"Come along Inspector, slowly now... that's it."

"Dam this leg, it doesn't want to move."

"That muscle paralysis is worrying, can you feel any pain in your heel?"

"Miss Watson, will you please deal with the matter in hand!"

"His foot is a hindrance sir, I suggest it may help if I lifted it for him."

"If you insist."

"I do. Wonderful, you are doing fine Inspector, we have managed at least eight steps already."

"I don't feel steady."

"You are not. Miss Watson, try to relax that...Watson!"

I had stood on Lestrade's skirt again but realised too late, once more I was slipping and then falling backwards. Time seemed to slow as I fell through the air, my wrist was grabbed in a vice-like grip and I found myself being swung around. I braced for the hard impact, but was surprised to find my landing was rather soft.

It took a moment to realise I had landed on top of someone and what's more I was positioned on his lap, my legs straggled across his hips, "MR Holmes! You have your hand on my, my..." I was frankly speechless.

He ignored me and seemed to be fixed on what was happening behind my right shoulder, a look of alarm crossed his features, and then I was abruptly flipped over again to find myself under him. It was when a heavy object hit us both that I realised the Inspector had now also fallen.

Then all went black.

Someone groaned in the darkness and although I was crushed, I frantically reached for the fallen lantern, dragging it towards me. Bizarrely my nostrils rapidly filled with the seductive aroma of cinnamon and then tobacco, I shifted my nose upwards and it scraped against the rough texture of skin with bristles...then I was face to face with him. He was panting and obviously resisting pain, his huge nose brushed against mine and his hot breath flushed my face. "Mr Holmes?"

Gray eyes snapped open and as the dying flame flickered they flashed pure silver piercing into mine, I blinked back in fascination. They narrowed and moved slowly across my features, searching until they stopped at my mouth... I found myself following his lead. The thin pink of his lips lent colour to an otherwise pale face, but then there was a sudden flush colouring his cheeks...

"Oh for christ's-sake, my bloody other leg has gone now."

"Do stop billowing Inspector, it serves you right, you almost crushed Miss Watson to death." He had not moved as he spoke, his eyes still fixed on my mouth and his hot breath warmed my lips.

I began to feel something hard prodding into my thigh and as I moved my hand downwards and between our bodies his eyes locked with mine again, then they widened slightly. I gave him a shy smile as my fingers gingerly gripped the solid, round thickness of his discarded cane attempting to pull it free, but he snatched it from me and threw it aside.

"Miss Watson, it appears we have a mutual dilemma here, one that neither of us desires; I suggest we irradiate it immediately."

"But why would you think that Mr Holmes?" I was completely aware his words had a double meaning.

"Accelerated heart-rate, rapid breathing, pupil dilation and increased vein dilation allowing blood to flow across the facial area. These are all alarming indicators."

" Yes, we both seem the worse for it, what do you suggest?"

" Simple logic madam, purge your mind of everything except simple logic. I can easily put this problem behind me by taking a firm grasp of myself and the situation, you will follow my example." His breath was further igniting my cheeks as he spoke. "If we stay calm and act sensibly then neither of us will ruin our current situation, which although not entirely satisfactory is at least without encumbrance."

"It's not bloody satisfactory for me either, will you both get off each other an help me get up." The Inspector was flapping his hands about wildly in the air again, "I'm in pain ere."

" Please sir," I pushed Mr Holmes away and struggled to sit, "if you excite yourself further you will cause my stitching to rip and the wound will bleed again."

Mr Holmes suddenly appeared above me, reaching out his hand to help me rise. "The angle of that staircase and the sheer number of steps pose some risk, but matters cannot be helped. Brace yourself Lestrade, I intend to lift you onto my back, this will certainly be dangerous and necessitate perfect stillness. Miss Watson will stay safely at a distance should we fall again, from now on we will both be a little more disciplined," he looked pointedly at me.

" I am prepared to attempt anything that gets you out of here directly sir."

" Agreed madam, come along Inspector, 'once more unto the breach' with you. We shall indeed fly and leave our good nurse to some well deserved peace, I fear tonight has been a trial for us all. One, two, three..."

With a renewed and somewhat dramatic expenditure of energy Mr Holmes lifted the little Inspector onto his back and marched upwards. There was determination in that assent, step by step we reached the top and in probably less than three minutes. Gasping for breath at the top he turned to me, deliberately avoiding my eyes and pointed to the cane, "I understand you still require that, but the Inspectors needs are greater, we will have some distance to cover outside."

"Of course, please take it, it is yours anyway."

"Thank you. Now Miss Watson, do not trouble yourself to follow us further, we can here-on manage quite adequately without you. See, these corridors have splendid illumination."

"Are you quite sure..."

"Yes, I insist."

"Very well."

"Well madam, good morning and thank you for your help."

The little Inspector managed to raise an arm and his deadly white face whist being swiftly carried away, "good-bye little angel, hope to meet again" he shouted.

ooooooooooooo0000000000OOOOOOO00000000oooooooooooo

Gosh... I hope this does not have too many errors, it was thrown together rather quickly while I was in the Christmas sprit :D Please, please, please point out any obvious mistakes!

I have been 'nagged' into writing this by Argos's 'little sister Arnia', though I apologise to her for my unpredictable muse, it has decided to keep Holmes hanging for a bit longer in 'Time and Tide', but had him dashing about and catching everyone in here. Sadly for him, it is that cane of his that is getting the best 'action' this Christmas in both stories ;)

Arty Diane, I wanted to write tons and tons about Lestrade in drag, but he kept stopping me and so my descriptions just sounded silly. Book girl fan... I do intend to make Holmes very, very naughty ... I just need to finish 'Time and Tide' first :D

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all the fanficy writers and readers out there, it has been a pleasure to read so many wonderful stories this year and may you all 'Live Long and Prosper.'

Tegan.

oh,oh... I forgot, there are the usual tributes in this to all my favourites; of course Permanentnerds fanfiction (the cane prodding) BBC 'Sherlock' and I watched an interesting American film last night called 'Sherlock Holmes Returns' ... That's in there too.