I would love to say that our trip to Maine was eventful and that Edward and I finally got our groove on, however I'd be lying.
The events of this week went as follows:
Emmett and Rose get caught having sex in different parts of the house including the hot tub which I will never go in now.
Alice mopes around pining for Jasper.
Esme and Carlisle alternate between cheering up Alice and glaring at Rose and Em.
As for Edward and I, you know when you're really looking forward to something and you built it up that the law of fuckuperey that says something has to fuck it up, well I'd like to thank my period for ruining or vacation. Between my mood swings from hormones, the cramps the hurt so bad they even hurt in my vag walls, I in no way felt sexy, nor was I going to have sex for the first time like this. No fucking way.
Now back to Alice, in a way to cheer her up Carlisle has in fact let her put together a "small" gathering here on New Year's Eve. Until I saw how many guest she had planned for, I didn't know that rich people have a different definition of small, seriously I'm thinking us and maybe up to ten other guest, multiply that by six. Yep sixty people were invited to attend this little party tonight. Thankfully Alice in planning mode kept her mind off Jasper and she even thought to get me a better dress than the one I had brought with me.
So now I'm slightly less crampy, a lot less cranky, wearing shoes that Edward has to hold me constantly to make sure I don't faceplant. The shoes I have to thank Alice for later. Rose the goddess in red is on the phone with her other half aka Jasper trying to find out what has crawled up his ass.
This is the first call he has taken from any of us all week long. Fucker.
"Bella the guest are starting to arrive." Alice my friend in her bright pink I think she calls it fuchsia or something like that tells me.
"Coming." Edward helps me walk to the door where Carlisle and Esme have started some sort of receiving line. It is like something out of those high society magazines that Alice subscribes too. Instead of meet the royals it's meet the Cullens. Edward is standing straight up dashingly handsome in his tux and you can tell he was born into this life. Emmett is trying not to fiddle with his bow tie and Alice is in her element. Seriously this one old lady's ring was a baseball sized diamond. Alice and Esme do these in the air cheek kisses with the women and I have the sudden urge to start curtsying or something.
"Edward!" A beautiful blue-eyed black-haired girl maybe a year or two older than us says in delight, her accent is slightly British from what I heard.
"Gemma how are you?" He gives her my crooked grin and I want to plant my heel into his foot, but I'm a lady so I behave.
"Wonderful, it's been too long. We really need to catch up later tonight." She smiles and even I feel like smiling it's so infectious.
"Yes, it has been too long, we can talk later." He smiles back.
"Hello." She says politely to me.
"Hello, welcome." I say and try to turn to the next person in line.
"You're Edward's step sister?" She asks.
"No, I'm his step brother's cousin." I inform her politely.
"I'm Imogene Kensington-Barnes." Really? Wow poor, girl I'd hate to fill out forms with that long of a name.
"Bella." I say, no need to say out my whole name like a snobbish prick who thinks that their name should mean something other than being a name.
A delicate cough signals Gemma aka bitch with really long name who was way too happy to see my boyfriend that she needs to move her ass along.
Thank you, really old lady who looks like the Crypt Keeper, with make-up and diamonds on.
By the time we have received more people than I can remember, but seriously I think sixty was a low estimate, I have calmed down. I remember the mistake I made about Bree the poor rape victim/lesbian and decide not to smack the new skanky with any blunt objects until I have proof that I need to.
"Bella, I need your help." Rose says in my ear softly and I excuse myself from where I'm standing with my favorite Crypt Keeper discussing who is better Charlotte or Emily Bronte.
"What's wrong Rose?" I follow her up the stairs. Seriously she is mumbling like crazy and I can't make out a word of it.
"Your cousin." Ut oh. She said it in that I'm going to fuck him up voice.
Walking into Rose and Emmett's bedroom I'm a little stunned and a whole lot grossed out by what I'm seeing. Emmett is in his boxer briefs dancing around the room singing Freebird. Seriously don't fuck with the classics man.
"Emmett?" I say softly.
"Baby bear!" He picks me up and spins me around and I'm all kinds of freaked out now because seriously this is just nasty. Naked cousin germs.
"Rose what is going on?" I beg her.
"Your idiot snuck off an hour ago, deciding he was tired of the tux and instead wanted the Jager." Oh. Ohhhhhhh!
"EMMETT!" I scream and smack him on the shoulder. "Bad Emmett."
"I know right?" Rose says sarcastically.
"We need to get food into him, lots of carbs and a shower. Or wait I remember something about shoving ice up the ass." I mutter.
"Ice up the ass only in cases of drug overdose." Alice says coming in. "Food, shower and bed for drunks." She rolls her eyes and grins at me. "I'll go get him some food, you two get him showered and into bed." We all agree and spend the next hour getting Emmett settled.
"Should one of us stay with him?" I ask quietly as we back out of the drunk's room.
"I don't see why we should ruin the rest of our night for his dumb ass." Rose laughs. It's already quarter to twelve and I want my midnight make out, I mean kiss. Yea kiss. Edward kisses yum.
"Me either." Alice quips. So, we left the dumb ass passed out in bed and went back downstairs to visit with the rich people. "I'm going to make sure everyone has champagne before midnight." Alice tells us before she runs off in search of her wait staff.
"Bella do you think if we joke around about meeting Buffy and Muffy at the club people might actually believe us?" Rose jokes. I giggle.
"Probably." I look around. "Do you see a copper topped stud muffing with lips of sin?" I ask her.
"Umm ya over there in the back, come on girlie let's go get your man." Rose and I take off to get to Edward laughing about my idiot cousin and Buffy and Muffy. Seriously when we said Muffy this one lady asked if we were calling her.
"10, 9, 8, 7," The countdown started and I'm nearing my target I mean my boyfriend.
"6, 5, 4, 3, 2" Shit that slutty skanky whore got my midnight kiss! What the fuck!
"Edward?" I say with an edge to my voice because I honestly didn't like the kiss but it was a chaste kiss, light peck nothing Em hasn't bestowed upon me in a cousinly manner.
"Bella?" He looks shocked to see me.
"Bella not here." Esme somehow materializes behind me and takes me out of the room. I notice that Edward is following me as well.
"Bella baby I swear it's not what it looked like. It was just two very old friends and a New Year's kiss. That's it. I'd kiss Rose or Alice the same way."
"Uh huh." I pout. I'm not mad, everyone just seems to think I should be so I have decided to joke a little with them.
"Bella, I swear it hasn't been like that with Gemma in over a year." Sexy boyfriend say what?
"Edward?" I notice we are all alone now.
"Bella oh God this isn't a conversation I wanted to have tonight."
"Edward how can we be anything if we don't have honesty. You know my dating record, let's see there is you, and umm you. Why do we never talk about yours? I mean I know it has been implied that you were a man whore, but seriously give me a number Edward, how many Images Kendoll Barnes and Nobles do I need to worry about?" He sits down in the wing back floral chair and his green eyes are filled with pain.
"I don't think I can be classified as a man whore, even if I may have given people that image. Most of it was self-protection. When I came to Forks I was still hurting from my break up with Gemma. She was my first girlfriend, my first…" He trailed off. Shit.
"Go on." I say simply.
"A year ago, right after my Grandmother died Gemma and I had a falling out, she found out that I had inherited this house and my Grandmother's home on the hill and she wanted me to move to Boston. Permanently living away from my family so we could be together all the time. You see since birth our grandparents believed us to be a perfect match and Gem and I just gravitated towards each other because of the many commonalities of our backgrounds."
"Ok." That's all I can say when he looks at me.
"Along the way I thought I had was in love with her. However, Dad had Alice and I in Chicago with him and Gemma and I didn't get to see each other but on weekends and vacations. She was tired of waiting for us to be together. The plan had been to go to the same university and then get married out of college." He shakes his head. "However, we had a huge fight and of course you know about my wild times with Bree, even though I was faithful to Gemma she didn't understand my rebellious stage."
"Uh huh."
"We ended it about three weeks after Grandmother passed away. Not long after that Dad and Esme hooked up and then we moved to Forks. There I saw this beautiful brunette on the sofa in my new step mother's living room and she made me want to love again. Even though I fought it, as at the time I thought she was selfish and cold. Then I got to know her. You see I believed you were the reason I was dragged to Forks, why I had to live in a tiny house in the middle of nowhere. I wanted to hate you. So, I picked two slutty blonds to mess around with. Though I can honestly say mess around is all we did, I never had actually intercourse with either of them." And is that supposed to make me feel better?
"Ok."
"I couldn't fight being with you though, you drew me in like a magnet to metal and I needed you." He smiles and I give him half of one because I'm actually thinking about taking my heel off and hitting him upside the head. "The actual number of girls I've gone all the way with is one Bella, just Gemma. I may have made it seem like more to everyone, but it wasn't." Ok once again this is supposed to make me feel better?
"And you kissed her why?" I ask softly.
"We had been talking, catching up and midnight hit and we had a peck, just two old friends. Nothing more Bella."
"We'll talk about this more in the morning Edward I need to sleep on it or I'm going to hit you upside the head with my shoe." I blurt out. He steps back and I walk upstairs and crawl into Alice's bed.