AUTHOR'S NOTE: Not precisely a "story" chapter - more of a side-story or spinoff, albeit one that fits into the storyline proper. This bit takes place between Part 24 and the upcoming Part 25, so consider it Chapter 24.5, if you will. And yes, I had to write a Domovoi Christmas special. Because giant robots trying to celebrate Christmas is adorable to me.
According to Dr. Newton Geizler's claims, he'd been in a band for a few years before committing himself full-time to xenobiology. Dr. Hermann Gottlieb had evidence of that, at least – CDs of the Black Velvet Rabbits occasionally found their way on his side of the lab along with the usual Kaiju entrails and empty drink cups, and the biologist's name featured prominently in the liner notes. And occasionally his fellow scientist would subject the entire Shatterdome to his band's contributions to the musical world… though ever since Cherno had become self-mobile he had only done that once, as the Jaeger had whined and groaned the entire time and the Kaidonovskys had lodged a complaint on his behalf.
But one certainly wouldn't know Newt had any musical inclination from listening to his voice, the mathematician groused as he watched Newt flit about the lab like a deranged butterfly, belting out a song at the top of his lungs as he festooned the lab with tawdry decorations.
"City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style!" he howled at the top of his lungs, standing on a table in order to hang a string of lights. "In the air there's a feeling of Christmas!"
"I can tolerate your decorations if you keep them on your side of the labs, but for God's sake stop singing!" Hermann demanded. "You're attracting the Shatterdome cats!"
"Oh come on, Mr. Grinch, have a little holiday spirit!" Newt retorted as he jumped down from the table and went to plug the lights in. "There! This place looks a whole lot better now!"
"That all depends on your definition of better," Hermann grumbled as he surveyed the sparkling yuletide damage. Ropes of glittering garland and multicolored lights hung in merry swags from the walls, and a ratty-looking artificial tree stood at a precarious tilt in one corner, its branches weighed down with so many mismatched ornaments that it was a wonder the thing didn't collapse under its own mass. Wreaths occupied any wall space not dominated by Kaiju anatomy charts or monster movie posters, and clumps of holly the size of pineapples hung from every light fixture. Even the skull of Otachi Jr., taking pride of place in one corner of the lab, bore a Santa hat atop its crown, as if the addition of a goofy Christmas decoration could make a Kaiju any less terrifying.
"Dare I ask where you got all this?" Hermann demanded.
"My uncle shipped it to me," Newt replied nonchalantly. "Found most of it in storage. I figured that with that time of year rolling around, we should do something to make this place a little more cheery."
"Did it not occur to you that not all the Shatterdome personnel celebrate Christmas?"
"So? They can decorate their rooms or hangars or work areas for Hanukkah or Solstice or the Flying Spaghetti Monster's birthday or whatever it is they celebrate! I still think this place needs some holiday cheer." He straightened his tie, one garishly patterned to look like a decorated tree with lights that actually flickered and blinked. "I'm going to lunch. I'm assuming you're working through it again, so want me to get you anything?"
Hermann glowered, then sighed and relented. "A cup of soup and a strong coffee. Toast only if it's fresh. You'd think that with the increased funding they'd get us something other than three-day-old bread here."
"Hey, the world doesn't rebound from a Kaiju War overnight," Newt pointed out. "Don't work too hard, all right?"
Hermann watched him walk out, shaking his head. The other scientist still got on his nerves, but at least Newt had his health in mind, and made sure he got rest, food, caffeine, and other basic needs. One didn't survive several weeks in the "care" of the Kaiju Cult without developing a sense of comradeship with their fellow captive, it seemed.
A plaintive whimper sounded behind him, and he turned to find three miserable sets of eyes staring up at him. Max and Bruno wore headbands set with reindeer antlers, and the elder bulldog was gazing at Hermann with a pleading expression while the younger pup scratched furiously at the side of his head in an effort to dislodge his headgear. Spike gurgled and gave a full-body shudder, as if the wreath of holly around his middle were irritating his carapace.
Hermann sighed. "On Newton's behalf, I apologize. He does things like this; you just learn to get used to it."
Spike gurgled again and ripped several leaves and a scattering of berries from his collar with his mandibles, spitting them out at Hermann's feet.
"I quite agree, bug. I quite agree."
Gipsy turned to the disembodied Conn Pod resting on the platform beside her, glaring as best she could without actual eye sockets. What's so funny?
Nothin'.
You don't laugh at nothing. Spit it out.
Just think it's amusin' that when ya first got here we couldn't get ya to talk. Now we can't get ya to shut up.
You weren't even here when she first got here, Crimson reminded him. And what's wrong with her talking about something that her Rangers are excited for? Even if it does seem a little silly at first glance?
A little silly? It's bloody ridiculous!
Says the talking head, Gipsy retorted, giving Striker a cuff over the top of his helm.
Oi, stop that!
What, can't handle the truth?
I'll give ya a truth t' handle, ya sassy lil' sheila!
How, by rolling on me?
Break it up, you four, Coyote growled.
I wasn't even saying anything, Cherno protested.
Break it up regardless, Coyote advised. Don't make me start knocking Conn Pods together.
Striker grumbled and Gipsy huffed, but both Jaegers went silent. The Shatterdome's Jaegers – those capable of conversing, at least – had gathered near Gipsy's hangar to exchange small talk and pass the time. Somehow Christmas had been mentioned – apparently the human holiday was approaching quickly – and Gipsy had practically burst with excitement. According to her the Becketts had loved the holiday, and she was greatly looking forward to seeing it celebrated in the Shatterdome in some capacity.
Why? Coyote finally asked, voicing the question that was lurking in the computer cores of every other Jaeger. Why insist we celebrate a human holiday? We're not humans. What use is this holiday to us?
Well… uh… Gipsy fidgeted her fingers together as she pondered that. I dunno. I'm not even sure why humans celebrate it. I just know it was very important to my Rangers… or at least to Raleigh. Mako celebrated it with Pentecost, too, so it must have had some importance to her, too.
My Rangers celebrated it as well, Cherno offered. Though not this time of year. Their Christmas was in January, not December.
Weird, Striker huffed. Then again, them Russians gotta do everything their way.
And Aussies aren't the same? asked Crimson mildly.
I wonder if they can get a tree here, Gipsy mused. They might have to ship one from somewhere. Do pine trees even grow in China?
Not pines, but a few kinds of conifers, Crimson supplied. Though not many people in China celebrate Christmas. The Weis did sometimes, but they mostly saw it as a Western holiday that leaked into popular culture.
Oh… does that mean we can't get a Christmas tree here?
No, not necessarily. We might have to settle for a small one or an artificial one, though.
Still don't see the point in draggin' a dead tree in the base, Striker griped. What's the point?
They decorate it, Gipsy explained. Shiny ornaments, lights, sometimes even fake snow. They do it because… uh… I don't know! It's a tradition!
Mighty stupid one if ya ask me.
You take that back!
Okay, Striker, how did YOUR Rangers celebrate Christmas? Crimson asked, hoping to defuse the situation before Coyote could intervene. What do you remember the Hansens doing for the holiday?
Not prissin' up a bloomin' tree, that's for sure. When Chuck's mom was still alive they decorated the house with palm leaves an' flowers, then had a barbecue with a bunch of other families on the beach. After th' Kaiju War started an' Miss Hansen passed on, they cut back on the decoratin' but still did the barbecue, though they moved THAT to someone's backyard.
A barbecue for Christmas? Gipsy repeated, puzzlement in her tone. And the beach? That's weird. How did they not freeze themselves?
Australia's south of the equator, Crimson explained. The seasons are reversed there. Christmas falls during their summer, not their winter.
Oh, right. I forgot about that.
You said your Rangers sometimes celebrated Christmas, Crimson, said Cherno. Did they have a tree?
Crimson shook his Conn Pod. They never had the money or space for one. The only Christmas trees they saw were in the big shopping centers in the city. They would decorate their apartment with paper chains, though, and exchange small gifts with each other. Their landlord would give them a bag of apples every Christmas too – which to them was a huge luxury. I suppose apples are a traditional Christmas gift in China. What about your Rangers, Cherno?
Cherno shrugged. A lot of it had to do with food… and since we don't need food or fuel the same way they do, I didn't ever pay much attention to that. But I remember stories from Papa… about Father Frost and Baboushka and the Ice Dragon…
What the bloody hell's Father Frost or Baboosha or whatever it is? Striker demanded. An' the blasted Ice Dragon sounds too much like a Kaiju to me.
It wasn't a Kaiju, Cherno replied, though Papa says some of the Kaiju that attacked Russia were named after Russian myths – Bannick, Rusalka, Baba Yaga, Kaschei, and others. He leaned back on his hands, settling into a sort of storyteller mode. Father Frost and his granddaughter supposedly go from home to home on New Year's Day, giving gifts.
Like Santa Claus! Gipsy exclaimed.
Father Christmas, Coyote corrected.
Whatever, Striker huffed. What about that Baba-thing?
Baboushka, Cherno corrected. An old woman who travels the world looking for the Christ child, and who leaves gifts for any child she sees.
Christ child? repeated Striker.
That's why humans celebrate Christmas, Coyote told him. To celebrate the birth of a god. Did you not know that?
Herc an' Chuck ain't exactly religious.
Not many humans are anymore, Crimson added. Even the Kaiju Cult's been mostly dissolved. Then again, can you blame them? I mean… if there is a god, wouldn't He or She have done something to close the Breach and protect the world from the Kaiju?
A moment of uncomfortable silence reigned, and the Jaegers glanced sheepishly around the bay, as if worried their conversation had been overheard. The techs and mechanics continued on their business, oblivious to their conversation. But it was still a long moment before any of them ventured to speak again.
Maybe whatever god or gods there are DID do something, Gipsy suggested. They created us.
Striker cackled. You sayin' Dr. Lightcap's a goddess? Won't she be chuffed to hear that.
Not like that! Gipsy huffed, smacking his helm. I mean like… like inspiring her to create us. Or making sure we had lives of our own… souls, I guess they're called. Making circumstances come together just right for us to be built, to operate smoothly, to have just the right Rangers matched up to us… to give us life. Maybe divine intervention wasn't needed… because WE were the right answer. WE were the intervention.
Crimson gave a huff of his own. I'm not sure I like the idea of chalking our existence up to an unseen, remote god. I would rather trust the idea that Lightcap and our Rangers brought us to life. Because we have proof of that. And I would rather honor and celebrate someone who was directly responsible for our creation than someone who merely "inspired" us, or created "circumstances."
Always the logical one, aren't you? Coyote noted.
Crimson shrugged. What other way is there to be?
Silence. Then a snort from Striker. Well, THIS got philosophical in a hurry. Lighten up, mates. It's Christmas. An' even if us Jaegers don't exactly have a stake in it, our Rangers do. That's enough reason to celebrate it alongside the humans, right?
Well said, Gipsy replied, nodding eagerly. The question is how to celebrate it. We have so many people from so many countries here, and they all seem to celebrate it in different ways. How do we do something that everyone here will appreciate?
Coyote cocked her head to one side. Christmas… apples, Father Frost, Father Christmas, Baboushka… gift-giving seems to be a theme. Perhaps a gift from us is needed. From us to those who gave us life, and defended us from those who would destroy us.
But what can we give? Cherno asked. We have nothing to give them.
Not necessarily, Crimson replied. True, we may not have material possessions… but surely an act of appreciation would not go unnoticed. If nothing else… the Shatterdome seems to not have a Christmas tree, as Gipsy pointed out. And that may not be a universal symbol of Christmas, but it's widely recognized, or at least enough that most here would appreciate it.
An' where ya gonna find a Christmas tree in Hong Kong? Striker demanded.
Hmm… there's the trick. Though perhaps a substitute would be acceptable…
As one, four Conn Pods turned toward another hangar, one currently quiet as the technicians who normally serviced it were busy with other projects or enjoying a quick break. The same wicked idea seemed to cross all their computer cores at once, and Cherno, Crimson, Gipsy, and Coyote immediately hunched together, lowering their mental voices to conspiring "whispers."
Crimson, scavenge whatever you can from in the base as decoration, Coyote ordered. Striker, help him by pointing out anything likely. Cherno, go outside and collect things – comb the beach if you have to. Gipsy, you are the Jaeger most welcome in the city. Search there. Try to take things that will not inconvenience the humans too much.
Yes, Coyote. Gipsy fired off a salute, then dissolved into mental giggles. This is going to be fun!
Mako was combing through Striker Eureka's blueprints on her tablet, making notes as to which components they could find replacements for and which would have to be built from scratch, when a familiar smell roused her back to the real world. Despite priding herself in her self-discipline, her mouth watered and her stomach gave a demanding rumble. She hadn't smelled that in a long time… and it brought back memories…
"Happy holidays!" Raleigh exclaimed, thumping the bucket of fried chicken on the table before sitting across from her.
"Raleigh!" she exclaimed, a grin blooming on her lips. "How did you know?"
"Newt dropping a not-so-subtle hint," he laughed as he handed her a stack of napkins. "He told me that it's custom for families in Japan to eat at KFC for Christmas dinner – something American soldiers started but the Japanese picked up on. I know we've got a week before Christmas Eve, but I figured there wasn't any harm in splurging a little early."
"He was right," she replied, selecting a chicken leg and a napkin. She bit into the leg, savoring the crispy, greasy coating and the salty-sweet meat beneath it. Such food had been a rare treat for her family, and her father had been forced to make reservations months in advance for them to get a booth at the nearest KFC restaurant, but it had always been the highlight of the holiday for her. Pentecost had continued the tradition after her family had died, knowing how important it was to her even as he also taught her the more British ways of celebrating the season.
"So do you have any plans for the holidays?" asked Raleigh, grabbing a chicken breast and tearing into it with gusto.
She shook her head. "Staying here, with the Jaegers. Gipsy has been excited about Christmas. She must have picked it up from you."
Raleigh laughed. "Our family always made a huge production out of Christmas – decorating the house, having the big Christmas dinner, going caroling through the neighborhood, the whole bit. I guess she's seen enough of it through the drift that it made an impression." He took another bite of chicken, chewed, swallowed, and wiped at his mouth with a napkin. "Only family I have left now is Gipsy, though. So… I guess I'm staying here for Christmas too."
Mako suppressed a sigh as she set aside the bones from her drumstick and reached for a wing. One of the consequences of Pentecost's tendency to collect all manner of strays and outcasts under his wing – said strays and outcasts often had no families to return to, or at least families who would accept them. As such, holidays tended to be lonely affairs for those in the Jaeger program.
Of the Shatterdome personnel Mako knew, only Hermann and the Rossis were leaving for the holidays – Hermann back to his family in Germany, the Rossis to stay with their parents in Las Vegas. Well, at least things would be relatively calm with Mustang Omega's Rangers out of the picture, however temporarily, even if Hermann's absence would make Newt mopey and irritable for the next couple of weeks…
She let her sigh escape as two irate voices broke into her reverie. Speak of the devils…
"I don't care if they're giant mecha, I'm gonna kill 'em!" Lance roared.
"They've gone too far this time!" Lexie added, storming up to Raleigh and Mako, eyes flashing in rage. "If you're going to play Frankenstein's monster with your Jaegers, fine, but can't you freaking keep them under control?"
"What happened?" Mako demanded, wiping her hands and pushing herself to her feet. "Is anyone hurt?"
"They're gonna be hurting in a few minutes," Lance growled. "Was this your idea, Beckett? Some kind of sick joke?"
"What are you talking about?" Raleigh demanded with a scowl.
"I'm pretty sure you put Gipsy up to this," Lance retorted, shaking a finger in Raleigh's face. "It'd be up your alley, wouldn't it? Messing with our Jaeger and blaming it on yours…"
"Get out of my face," Raleigh ordered. "And I don't order Gipsy to do anything! She's her own creature now – she and I work together. I don't give her orders like she's a slave or a dog or something."
"What the hell's goin' on here?" Hercules barked, storming up at that moment. "Rossis, back the hell off!"
Lance lowered his hand and stepped back, though he still looked irate. Lexie just glared at the elder Ranger.
"Those Jaegers made a mess of Mustang Omega," she snapped. "We came out into the hangar to find he was covered with… stuff."
"Stuff?" Mako frowned. "What sort of stuff?"
"Junk," Lance replied. "Just random garbage like tree branches, wires, lights… I dunno what they're trying to pull with it, but it's not funny."
At that, Raleigh's expression shifted from angry to puzzled. "Lights?"
"Yeah, lights! Like they ripped them straight off a business of some kind."
Raleigh's brow furrowed as he pondered that. "I wonder…" And he took off at a brisk jog. Mako hurried behind him, worried but also curious. If this really was Gipsy's doing, what was she trying to accomplish?
They emerged in the Jaeger bay to find all four sentient Jaegers – five if you counted Striker's head cradled in Gipsy's arms – standing on either side of Mustang Omega's hangar, all expressionless but somehow managing to exude a sense of eager pride regardless. Gipsy even rocked back and forth on her heels, as if delighted with her handiwork. Cherno, too, shifted from foot to foot, practically glowing with excitement, and Coyote beamed smugly. Only Crimson seemed to sense that they'd done something in violation of some set of rules, but even then he didn't look contrite at all – if anything, he looked as if he expected punishment but was nonetheless unrepentant.
As for Mustang Omega… perhaps "covered in junk" was the wrong term. Yes, his frame was draped with all manner of cast-off detritus – fresh branches ripped from trees, fronds of kelp and seaweed, scraps of metal, street signs, and even strings of Christmas lights that someone had probably "borrowed" from a business trying to attract holiday business. But there was a carefully constructed order to how said items were draped and hung from Mustang's armor, a deliberateness that the Rossis had overlooked. Some of the scraps of metal had been twisted or cut into recognizable shapes like snowflakes or bells, while others had simply been scraped and rubbed until they glittered and shimmered in the light. And perched between the Mark VI's shoulders, in place of a proper Conn Pod, was a massive star cut from a sheet of corrugated metal.
Mako smothered a smile behind her hand. Just when she thought that the Jaegers had ceased to surprise her, they came up with something new to do the job.
Herc, for his part, showed no such restraint and belted out a laugh. "Lookit that! We got ourselves a Christmas tree in the Shatterdome! Love it. Don't change it."
"What the hell?!" screeched Lance. "That's our Jaeger! Are you really just going to let them vandalize it?!"
"For starters, that ain't your Jaeger," Herc retorted. "That's Shatterdome property. An' so long as it ain't damaged, havin' a little extra décor on it ain't hurtin' a thing."
"What if a Kaiju attacks?" Lexie protested. "How are we supposed to keep it combat-ready when it looks like that?"
"You two are leavin' for two weeks, what do you care? An' it ain't like we don't got other Jaegers…"
While the Rossis continued to bicker, Mako felt a gentle "nudge" from Gipsy. The blue Jaeger looked fixedly at her new Ranger, and Mako could feel a pang of anxiety from her.
Are we in trouble?
Mako laughed and shook her head. "No, you aren't. You made Marshal Hansen laugh. I think that means you're okay."
"You brightened up the Shatterdome for the holidays," Raleigh added. "I think that counts for something. Thank you, Gipsy." He eyed Mustang's new décor curiously. "Dare I ask where you got most of that, though? I don't think Hong Kong's going to be too happy with you."
Gipsy glanced down at the disembodied Conn Pod in her arms, then back to her Rangers. Striker says Hong Kong can sit on it. We protected them for so long, we can take something back for once. She hesitated, then pressed on. Is it bad that I agree with him?
"We'll let it go this once," Raleigh replied. "Just don't make stealing a habit. And if we're still here next year, we'll get you guys a real tree to decorate, okay?"
Okay! Gipsy bobbed her Conn Pod up and down in an eager nod. Mako gave another laugh. They weren't going to have to spend Christmas alone after all. Not so long as the Jaegers were here to brighten their spirits.