Hello everyone!

This is the last chapter I've written so far (the next one is still a work in progress) so from now on the updates won't be as regular :)

Thanks for the reviews on yesterday's chapter :D

67% sure

"Has anyone heard about Spider-Man since the Blip or...?"

MJ raises an eyebrow at Flash Thompson's question, surprised. She hadn't pinned him for a fan, at all. She glances at Peter, but his face doesn't show anything else but boredom. That she understands. Their history class could have been very interesting, but it's not. The man teaching it is very clearly still depressed from the Snap. Their old history teacher used to be great, but he blipped as well and is therefor not qualified to teach them blippers about what happened during the last five years. He could probably take the class with them actually.

Everyone who blipped should, really.

"I don't think this question is relevant, Mr Thompson, please, let's focus instead on –"

MJ tunes out the rest of his sentence, going back to drawing his face instead. Even Betty next to her seems bored and is doodling on her notebook absentmindedly. Which is a lot to say, Betty is usually very studious in class. MJ glances again at Peter, on the same row but across the room near the window, and isn't surprised to see his head gradually lean more and more on his hand. He isn't even trying to keep his eyes open. What a dork.

She kind of wants to draw him now, instead of Mr McBoring, but maybe that's not a good idea. Everyone knows she mostly draws people in crisis, and right now he is definitely not in crisis, so that would be suspicious. His face is relaxed, he must be quite comfortable sitting like that, half leaning on the wall with the shy sun of December heating the back of his head and his shoulders. It makes his hair look lighter, his face even sweeter and younger too.

She doesn't realize she's staring until the bell rings and his eyes open wide and fall on her. She looks away quickly and pretends to be very busy putting her stuff back in her bag. She's the first to leave the class, and when someone catches up to her she's almost afraid that it's him, but it's not.

It's Thompson.

"Hey, MJ wait up."

"What do you want?" she asks sharply, not slowing down at all.

"You're very observant," Flash states in an unusually hesitating voice, "so have you seen Spider-Man anywhere or not?"

MJ stops and looks at him with narrowing eyes. "What do you care? I didn't think you were a fan."

"Well, with everything that's been going on, I just kinda wanted to, you know, make sure that the neighborhood's personal vigilante is still around you know?" He's looking at his feet and not acting douche-y at all, which is surprising. Now that she's watching him more closely, he actually looks different, clearly tired and somehow miserable.

She's been witnessing this a lot since the beginning of December. Earth is apparently getting better with each day passing, but people are still a mess. Emotionally.

Everyone's been touched by the Blip.

Even douche bags like Flash.

"I haven't seen him around no." she tells him, in a less severe voice. Flash's face drops even further so she adds: "But you know, maybe he's on holidays or something. He hasn't been seen these last five years, so maybe he blipped, then came back and decided to retire or something. To be fair, he probably kicked Thanos' ass alongside the Avengers, so that would make sense."

She doesn't add the other possibility she thought about. That Spider-Man died. That he was not Peter Parker and that he died trying to save the Earth. She's blunt and sharp, but she's not heartless. She doesn't like Flash but bringing him down would just be mean.

She is not, and never will be, a bully.

Flash stares at her in silence for a couple of seconds. He's surprised, clearly, but there's something else in his usually dull eyes. MJ isn't sure if it's relief or gratitude or something else. Then he nods and leaves without another word. He probably could learn a thing or two about politeness but whatever. She doesn't care. It's still humbling though, to realize that even people as dumb and full of themselves as Eugene Thompson can go through rough times too. She knew that, but it's still something to witness it.

It's snowing outside. In a couple of hours the Holiday break will start. MJ is planning on helping out in shelters all week. A new organization has been founded in Queens to help the over crowded shelters. There are still so many people that need help, and with the cold and the frenzy of the holidays, it's gotten even worse. MJ's plan is to volunteer and help out as much as she can. She's been invited at her mom's place for Christmas but she'd rather be with a bunch of strangers than with her mother's new family. And her dad's working anyway.

She gets to her Italian class and sits in the back.

Today is not a great day. It happens, every once in a while. Most of the time she's fine. She talks a lot more with Peter now. She eats with him and Ned every day at lunch. She jokes with him in physics class. She enjoys helping Blippers out during the weekends. She reads and draws and writes every chance she gets.

Sometimes though, it feels like she's drowning. She'd be fine, and then something sets it off. It can be anything, something she sees, hears, a simple thought crossing her mind. Suddenly she can barely breath, her stomach contorts on itself, she's shaking uncontrollably, and then all she can think is, it's happening again. She forces herself not to blink, because somehow she's convinced that if she does, she'll vanish again.

And she knows these are just panic attacks. She's had her fair share of them since she was little. She knows how to handle them. But it's more difficult these days. She suspects it to be because of how completely destroyed her family is. So she holds on to the thought that she has friends now. Because she has. She walks every afternoon with Peter from the cafeteria to their physics class, they sit together and joke and talk about stupid stuff. She hangs out with Ned sometimes in the library after class, and enjoys crafting impossible theories to explain various mysteries with him. Last week Betty invited her at her place to study and then for a sleepover afterwards. She has friends. She does.

She's not alone, Thanos has been destroyed, nothing is threatening the world anymore. Right?

"Hey."

MJ jumps, startled, and looks up. She's sitting on the floor in one of the deserted hallways near her locker. Peter is looking down at her with one of his shy smile, like he's afraid she's about to tell him to get lost or something. She wraps her arms more tightly around her knees. She can't get up yet. She's pretty sure if she tries to she'll fall over. Her legs are still too weak because of her stupid panic attack. It's subsiding though, finally. Maybe thanks to the look on Peter's face, or his simple presence here. His locker is on the other side of the building, next to their physics class. He is not here because he happened to walk around here to get somewhere. He came here because he was looking for her.

"You didn't make it to lunch," he tells her quietly, dancing on his feet awkwardly.

"Yeah I uh, wasn't really hungry." she lies without looking at him.

"Right," he nods, and she knows he doesn't believe her just from his tone. "Anyway, ready to go kick ass in physics? Mr Dell would be very disappointed to be missing his best students ever."

"Student or students?" she retorts with a smirk. "Wow, you're full of yourself today, Parker. I thought we agreed last time that I was the best since I beat you at that momentum test."

"By half a point," he mumbles with a pout and she lets out a little laugh. "Come on, we're gonna be late."

With a smile, he holds his hand out to help her back on her feet. She hesitates a second then grabs it, her heart jumping in her chest when their skins touch. His hand is warm and strong around hers. She's taller than him, but somehow she suddenly feels very small. He helps her up and then lightly presses her hand in his before letting go.

"You're fine, OK?" he tells her, his brown eyes closely studying her face.

She feels a light blush spread across her cheeks and quickly looks away, nodding. She grabs her stuff and starts walking, ignoring the hard lump forming in her throat. She doesn't know how, but he seems to know exactly what was going on inside her head a few minutes ago. Maybe because he's been through that before too? She's obviously not the only person on Earth suffering from panic attacks because of Thanos.

They silently make their way to the class. She hasn't checked the time but they are actually early and not late. They sit at their usual table and wait in silence for a little while. Peter seems a bit agitated next to her though. First he's fidgeting with his pencil, then with the spirals of his notebook, then he's leaning back on his chair and balancing himself on two of its legs. When he starts clapping both his hands on his thighs, MJ lets out an irritated sigh and squints at him:

"Hyperactive much?" she scolds and Peter smiles apologetically at her before dropping the legs of his chair back on the floor. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing," he makes a face at her. "So do you have any plans for the Break?"

MJ narrows her eyes at him suspiciously. "Why?"

It's insane how easy it is to mess with this guy. Straightaway Peter looks at her like a deer caught in the headlights. "I um, I'm just like, asking I –"

"I'm messing with you, Parker." she cuts him with a smirk. And she's not someone who brags – or at least not about stuff like that – but somehow she really wants to tell him the truth, and so she does. "I don't have any plans except helping out in shelters. I found this new charity that's been created to help people displaced by the Blip."

"Oh. Oh that's, that's great." he says, and for some reason he seems embarrassed, which she doesn't get. "You're not spending Christmas with your family?"

MJ hesitates for a moment before answering. Peter is looking at her with his brown puppy eyes, his whole attention on her, and that's what gets her to say the truth again – well, part of it. "My mom invited me to spend it at her place but… I'd rather spend my time helping out people that actually need me." She sees the shift in Peter's eyes and quickly moves the subject away from her family before he takes pity on her – it's really not something she wants him to do: "Anyway, I don't care much really. What about you?"

And that's something she likes about him: he never, ever pries. He moves along with her, answers her question – he's spending Christmas with his aunt –, and then Mr Dell arrives and they focus on their lesson. Like most of her classes, this one is easy. She remembers pretty much everything since it hasn't been that long since they covered it, and she knows Peter feels the same way because they've talked about it. It's nice though, to get good grades without trying that much. Even if it means getting bored half the time.

"How come you never draw in Physics?" Peter whispers to her at some point and she takes her eyes off the corner of the desk she'd been staring at for a few minutes to frown at him. "What? You're clearly bored most of the time, and yet you don't draw, why not?"

"Who do you think you are, the Inquisition?" she retorts grumpily. She will not admit the truth to him, ever. She will not say how self conscious she feels to draw and have him look. She usually doesn't care if people watch what she's drawing. Peter is not people though.

"No, just curious."

"I don't know I guess there isn't really much to draw here." she shrugs, avoiding his gaze. "You know, no people in crisis and stuff."

"I could pretend to be in trouble and you could draw me," Peter says playfully, and she can feel his eyes studying her face again, "that way you wouldn't look so miserable all the time."

MJ turns swiftly on her chair and glares at him. "What the hell Parker, you're miserable." she snaps at him a little louder than expected. A few curious heads turn towards them but Mr Dell doesn't notice.

"Wow, great comeback." he chuckles and she grinds her teeth. He doesn't say anything else and pretends to focus back on what Mr Dell is saying, but the corners of his mouth are uplifted into a sly but discreet grin that has her more annoyed than she would admit.

So she starts thinking about ways to get back at him, beat him at his own little game because yes, she kind of is a sore loser. And there's one little idea that comes, and it's bold and harsh, and she's really not sure it's a good idea at all, but apparently that's what she's going with. She starts shaping the lines, and she's never drawn him before but she's watched enough of him for it to still be easy.

Next to her, Peter lets out a little satisfied puff of air and she bites her lower lip to prevent herself from smiling. What a dork. She's sitting in a way that prevents him to have a clear view of her paper sheet, but she doesn't risk a glance to see if he's looking or not. Her heart is beating a little too hard to her taste, and her cheeks are a little flushed, but she tries and ignores it, focusing on drawing instead.

That's what she does for the rest of the class. A couple of minutes before it ends, she's finally done. She looks at it, her arm still positioned so that Peter can't get a good view of it if he tries to look. She realizes that a lump has formed in her throat and suddenly her genius plan doesn't seem that good anymore. So she folds her sheet in two and slides it into her physics book. She then lets out a sigh that seems to catch Peter's attention immediately.

"Feeling better?" he asks her, and she turns a little to meet his curious gaze. She just shrugs and he adds: "Can I ask you what you drew or are you going to murder me if I do?"

She snickers and keeps looking at him blankly without a word.

"Right, I won't risk it then." he mumbles after a minute. She can't help herself and smirks at him, and he smiles back, and then they both stare at each other for a second before looking away a little awkwardly, and MJ's heart keeps pounding in her chest.

And then the bell rings, and the class is over, and they say goodbye to each other. When she leaves, she turns a little just to look back at him, and she meets his gaze and crap he was definitely watching her walk away, and she feels her cheeks burning and almost runs out of the building because she's so embarrassed. And her heart hasn't stopped pounding in her chest the entire time and wow she definitely needs a break.

The drawing of a sad Spider-Man wondering what to do seems to be burning a hole in her backpack.

A couple of days later, it's Christmas Eve. MJ leaves her dad at around 5 pm and makes her way into the headquarters of that new charity that's been created at the end of November, and is financed by none other than Pepper Potts herself. That woman has been very active in trying to help out the world after the Blip. Like many others, but they're not as rich and influential so they don't make it to the front covers.

The charity is located in a cultural center in Brooklyn, she has to take a couple of buses to get there. It's a nice building, a banner has been hanged above the double doors inviting Blippers and people in difficulty to come and eat a warm meal for Christmas Eve. MJ steps inside, feeling a bit sheepish and out of place for some reason. Two people are talking in the lobby and she walks to them, taking her scarf off.

"Excuse-me? Hi, I'm uh, I'm here to volunteer?"

The woman with long hair turns to her and greets her with warm, genuine smile that somehow feels familiar. "Hi, you've come to the right place!" she says with enthusiasm, extending her hand for her to shake it. "Please, come with me I'll help you get started. I'm May by the way. What's your name?"

"I'm uh, Michelle. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise! It's always so refreshing to see young people like you come and help out." May tells her, leading her in the main room. Tables have been set everywhere, ready to welcome everyone. MJ sees a couple of guys setting out a buffet near the kitchen door where May seems to be taking her. "Alright! Michelle, let me introduce you, this is Maddie and James, they're taking care of setting the tables, over there is Harry, Genevieve and Curt who are in charge of the food, and somewhere around here is… ah, there he is, my nephew Peter."

She follows her gaze and there he is, staring wide-eyed at her from across the room, near the gigantic Christmas tree he's currently decorating. And she's stunned, yes, because what were the odds right – especially since he told her he was spending Christmas with his aunt, which, in retrospective, isn't a lie, but still. She did tell him she was volunteering in shelters. Why didn't he tell her he was too?

But also his face. It's absolutely hilarious. If he were a cartoon, his jaws would have dropped to the floor and his eyes would be out of their eye-sockets. They almost are. She hides her mouth behind her hand to stifle her laugh because really, his face. What a dork.

"MJ? Wh-what are you doing here?" Peter asks, walking hesitantly towards them.

"Oh, you guys know each other?" May retorts with a curious glance between the two of them.

"Uh, yeah, yes, she's uh, we're in the uh, the same uh…"

"Class." MJ finishes for him with a smirk, and his cheeks are so red she has to hide her chuckle again.

"Wait, are you the mysterious MJ he's been telling me all about?" May asks with a mischievous smile, still glancing between the two of them like she's watching a ping pong game or something.

And she would be embarrassed, and completely mortified, if it weren't for Peter's reaction. His brown eyes double in size and he whines indignantly at his aunt. "May!"

"Wow, you talk about me, Parker?" she teases him, and she feels a weird rush inside her chest when he turns back to her with panicked eyes.

"What, no! I mean, yes, I mean I just –"

"Anyway," MJ cuts him, to put him out of his dorkish misery. "What can I do to help?"

She meets May's playful gaze as the woman answers with enthusiasm: "Well, you can help Mr Peter here with the ornaments, and then there's a box in the back with gifts for the kids so if you could set these up under the tree, that'd be great."

"Right, let's do this then," MJ nods.

"Thanks May," Peter grumbles as his aunt leaves to go talk with a newly arrived volunteer. "OK, come on then."

He leads her to the Christmas tree and a big box of old non matching ornaments. For a couple of minutes they hang them up in silence, and then she can't help herself and asks lightly: "So, why didn't you tell me?"

Peter is standing on a chair to reach for the highest branches, and he doesn't look down at her when he finally answers: "I don't know I… didn't want you to think that I was, I don't know, bragging?"

"Dude, did you think I was bragging?"

"No, of course not!" he immediately assures, meeting her gaze with an indignant face that has her chuckle.

"Well there you go then," she smirks at him and he looks down at his feet, his cheeks a little flush again. She wonders if he's got a skin condition or something. For some reason though, it reminds her of when he used to talk to Liz Toomes back in Sophomore, and that thought effectively sends weird tickles in her belly, and she forces herself to focus on her task instead of thinking too much about it. Nope. Not going down that road, nope.

"I guess I…" he hesitates again, and she can't help herself and glances up at him. "I just didn't want you to think that I was just, I don't know, making small talk or something."

She raises an eyebrow at him, confused. "But we were, weren't we?"

"No!" he exclaims, somehow offended, and she stares at him in surprise. "I mean, yeah maybe but, it's not just, I mean, it's not just that it's… we're, we're friends right?"

He's staring back now, and she feels like she's about to drown in these deep brown eyes, without knowing if it's a good or a bad thing. And her heart, it feels like it's about to explode, and she doesn't think she's been that nervous in her entire life before. But he's waiting, and she is not going to bail on him because he clearly doesn't deserve it. So she takes the leap. "Yeah," she nods, and her voice sounds to her like it's coming from far, far away, "yeah, I guess we are."

His sheepish smile makes her heart miss a beat. "Cool," he nods quietly, "That's… yeah."

She can't help her chuckle because god they're just a bunch of dorks aren't they? Then he laughs with her, and for the rest of the night it is small talk between them, but it feels so good to actually know that it's because they are friends. And they have a great time. As always it is very rewarding to help out people in need, and the smiles on the little kids' faces at the sight of the Christmas tree and the gifts under it follow MJ late into the night.

When they're done cleaning after the party's over, May insists on giving MJ a lift back to her place. She sits in the back of the car with Peter, and it's a little awkward but not in a bad way. "Will we see you on New Year's Eve?" May asks when she stops in front of her building.

And MJ doesn't hesitate. She smiles at the woman, somehow in this evening spent with her she's grown to like her a lot, and nods: "Yes, absolutely." And then Peter and his aunt are smiling wide at her, and she thinks to herself that it must be running in their family or something. These huge smiles that light up the world and make you feel all warm and cozy inside.

She's very excited to go back to the cultural center later that week, on the 31st. Ned is there too, and the three of them have a great time helping out setting the tables and the buffet. At around 10 pm, May tells them to just go and have fun with the others, and so they do. They dance like idiots and eat too much chocolate. Midnight comes and goes, and somehow MJ finds herself sitting in the bleachers with Peter, sipping from a lukewarm juice box and watching Ned dance with a herd of kids definitely on a sugar rush.

She quickly notices though that Peter seems a bit down, and so she glances at him with narrowing eyes and asks: "What's up?"

She watches as he bites his lower lips and shrugs: "Nothing, I don't know." His eyes are hovering above the dance floor but MJ knows he's not really watching. She stays quiet for a moment, studying his face, wondering what's going on. He seems tired, sad, grim, when he was his usual happy hyperactive dork twenty minutes ago.

She doesn't like seeing him like this. "So new year uh?" she says after a while, her gaze back on dancing Ned. "2024… Man, the last six years really just went by like…" She punctuates her words with a snap of her fingers, and watches as his face stills and the corner of his mouth shudders. Crap. "Sorry, too soon?" she apologizes with a grimace.

He lets out a little chuckle and shrugs again. "No, I don't now… this whole thing, it's just so…"

"Unfair? Yeah."

"I just, I wish I could do more."

MJ bites her lip, somehow overwhelmed by the guilt and sadness she can feel in his voice. "Peter, hey, you're doing your best, believe me. And I'm pretty sure your best is a lot more than most people anyway."

He smiles sadly, his gaze still in the distance. "Thanks, MJ." And she thinks he's not going to say anything else, until he does, a couple of minutes later. "I'm just… I'm just so afraid all the time."

His shoulders droop and he hides his face in one of his hands, the other a clenched fist on his knee. MJ hesitates for a second. She thinks about grabbing his hand, but she feels too awkward for this and settles for a bump in the shoulder instead.

"Yeah, I feel you buddy."

And he lets out a little chuckle, but he's still not looking at her and she definitely hates seeing him like this. So she takes a big breath. "OK, I'm gonna tell you something now, and if you ever say I did I'll kill you alright?"

Peter props his elbow on his knee and his chin on his palm and looks at her with surprised eyes. She holds his gaze blankly and after a minute he simply nods.

"Alright." she sighs, her cheeks reddening a little. "It's OK to be afraid, because fear is like a super power. It can make you stronger and faster and cleverer."

He's smiling now, looking up at her with playful eyes as he points out: "Isn't that like a Doctor Who quote or something?"

MJ just stares at him daggers and he chuckles again, shaking his head with half a smile still on his lips. Then he grabs his juice box from the floor and bumps her shoulder with his. "So, to embracing our fears then uh?" he tells her, raising his juice box at her.

"And to doing our best," she adds with a smirk, and they drink to it.

And she doesn't put two and two together because she's too busy dealing with the next awful blow the Universe is throwing at her, but a few days later, Spider-Man is back.

I'm really satisfied with this chapter, I think it's my favorite I've written so far!

What do you guys think?

In any case thanks for reading!

Until next time.