"Wait a minute, Rook-You have to jump over that one."
Rook paused mid-step as she followed Fred's red hair through the semidarkness. George had stopped her just in time, holding her shoulder gently as he spoke. Still, Rook lost her balance momentarily, pulling back her foot and stumbling slightly. George steadied her, preventing her fall with surprisingly powerful arms.
"S-sorry..." Rook apologized bashfully, jumping the indicated step and continuing up the stairs. "What's wrong with that step?"
"It'll eat your foot," George answered casually.
"Wait, you mean, like, literally?" Rook asked, feeling nothing would surprise her at this point.
George laughed. "No, no... You'll just get stuck there for a while. I mean, I could pull you out again, but it's a bother."
"You're, um... You're pretty strong. Are you some kind of athlete?" Rook was blushing violently, she knew, but she tried to play it off. It did not seem to be effective, however. Rook could see a smug sort of smile on George's face as he replied.
"Very astute, Miss Rook. Fred and I are Beaters on the Gryffindor Quidditch team."
"Beaters?" Rook pondered this, forcibly reminded of the broken down 1963 Ford van one of her foster parents had used to drop her at school at four in the morning for an entire year. "What-"
"We can tell you about it later," Fred whispered. "Right now we ought to keep conversation to a minimum. This is it, by the way."
They were at the corner of two intersecting passageways, pausing at a pedestal supporting a formidable stone column. From behind it they could just see the entrance to Dumbledore's office, guarded by an unmoving granite gargoyle.
"This is it, I guess." Fred ran his fingers through his hair, checked his breath and smoothed out his robes, making no real impact on them whatsoever. He then turned on his heel to face his brother and Rook, with an air of exhibition. "How do I look? Debonair?"
"I've never seen anything quite as handsome, unless we're counting mirrors," said George.
"Such charming modesty."
"Now, Miss Rook, sarcasm is so gauche," Fred retorted, sticking a finger through a frayed hole in his school robes. "Let us try for a touch of class, shall we?"
Rook blew a raspberry in response.
"All right, here goes... Yoo-hoo!" Fred sauntered along the corridor, swishing his hips seductively and batting his eyelashes. Rook giggled and George wolf-whistled as Fred licked his upper lip suggestively. Rook had to admit there was something highly likable about Fred's willingness to look utterly ridiculous. He hiked up his robes a little, pulling them tight about his rear in a rather feminine fashion, and approached the gargoyle. He caressed its face lovingly as he spoke. "Hey there, big boy. You're looking mighty fine tonight. Do you mind if I...?"
Through all of this, the gargoyle remained motionless, but Fred did not stop there. He kissed the cold stone tenderly and, to his alarm, felt the gargoyle's arms close tightly around him as he did so. He cried out, but his voice was muffled by the gargoyle's mouth. The gargoyle was kissing him back!
As Fred struggled against the embrace of the grotesque sculpture, Rook rushed past the rococo column concealing her and George, agitated by the scene before them. "Fred, are you all right?" she asked anxiously, before she could stop herself.
The gargoyle released Fred, who gasped for air, and glared at Rook. "Excuse you," it spoke waspishly. "He and I are clearly having a moment, and you are intruding."
Rook took a step backward, passively pondering whether the gargoyle was able to leave its niche. The gargoyle resumed its smothering and Fred's eyes pleaded with Rook as she watched.
"That's a problem... He's my boyfriend," Rook improvised in what she hoped was an assertive tone. Fred's eyes widened in mute surprise and the gargoyle glared at Rook disdainfully, lips still glued to Fred's face.
"You? Really?" the gargoyle replied at last, voice dripping with incredulity.
"Y-yes?" Rook faltered self-consciously.
The gargoyle turned on Fred, who was still gaping at Rook. "Is this true?!" it demanded of him.
"Ah... er... Yeah, yeah... That's my... er... girlfriend," he answered, flustered.
The gargoyle's expression was stony, in every sense. Fred eyed it nervously. He tried pulling away, but it was impossible to escape the statue's grip. A moment later, though, there was no need. The gargoyle threw Fred from it.
"You two-timing scum!" it all but wailed.
"Shhhh... Calm down!" Fred attempted to console the gargoyle from a safe distance.
"George, you scoundrel!"
The three of them looked around at George, who had appeared from behind the column to join the ad-libbed drama.
"To think that my own twin brother would betray me like this!" he put an arm around Rook. "You thought you could pose as me to steal my girlfriend, did you? All to get me back for the Curwhibble Incident!"
"I would have gotten away with it, if I hadn't fallen in love with this, er..." Fred gestured to the gargoyle, "...beautiful creature."
The gargoyle swooned. "I love you too, Fred!" it cried.
"He's not Fred, I am!" George protested, then turned to Rook. "Of course, I don't blame you, Rosey. I should have told you about my evil twin!"
"That is a bit harsh, don't you think?" said Rook fairly. "He doesn't even have a handlebar mustache."
"My mildly irksome twin, then."
"Way to add insult to injury, you wank biscuit!"
"Shhh!"
A grinding sound emitted from beyond the gargoyle's post.
"The headmaster!" Fred exclaimed. "Please," he spoke imploringly to the gargoyle, "Give him any excuse so we don't get expelled, and I will come back for you, my dear!"
"Of course, my darling love!"
Fred blew the gargoyle a kiss for good measure, and the three took off down the corridor at a run.
After a brief waiting period in another of the twins' strategic hiding places to be sure the headmaster was dissuaded from pursuit by the smitten statue, the night continued with minimal caution and shenanigans galore. Rook's bond with the brothers was further established as she ran about the school alongside them, casting fishing lines into toilets and boldly boasting their prowess in the area of breathing by way of bagpipes located in a disused and long-banned band classroom. They only managed to evade Filch by slightly modifying the circumstances of the rules they broke. Fred placed a Silencing charm on the bagpipes, and George stunned a foul-smelling sickly green creature that had managed to drag its way out of the Hogwarts toilet with the help of their fishing line. Their night led them at last to the Astronomy Tower, where many activities were strictly forbidden. As Rook flew a kite shaped like the external reproductive organs of a human male, and George utilized his own such organs to urinate off the edge of the highest tower of Hogwarts castle, the three noted that they were indeed running out of time judging by the swift setting of the moon. It hardly mattered, though, as they were on their seventh rule: tobogganing down the spiral staircase of Astronomy Tower.
Most conveniently, Rook had stumbled upon a room full of illicit-looking items which had contained the fishing pole, the "tallywacker kite" (as Fred had referred to it), a traditional toboggan and and smaller, circular sled, which they now poised before the staircase.
"Going to make it snow first, Rook?"
"Why me?"
"It was your challenge originally, wasn't it?" explained Fred.
"Oh... Right, okay."
"Something wrong?" George asked.
Rook sighed. "I was waiting to tell y'all, but I didn't exactly transfer from another school. Actually, I didn't even know I had powers until this summer."
"You're joking!" Fred exclaimed.
"Wouldn't be very funny if I was."
"No, but... I mean, that's weird." Fred turned to George for confirmation. "It's weird, right?"
"I like weird," George grinned at Rook fondly. "You're about fifteen, right?"
"-Ish. And I know it's weird. That's just how it happened. No idea why. But, um... I may need help with this snow conjuring thing. All I've gotten to is the Aguamenti charm, but that was hard enough."
"No worries, Rook," said George encouragingly. "Here, it's not as difficult as it seems." George brought out his wand and Rook followed suit. He demonstrated a complicated wand movement and spoke the incantation, "Niveimenti Maxima."
A substantial burst of snow erupted from George's wand and flurried across the stairs. Rook copied George uncertainly, but only managed to turn her hair bright white. "Oh, puttanesca! What did I do?"
The twins laughed at her excessively, she thought. George recovered first. "It doesn't look half bad, actually. Reparifarge." Rook's hair returned to it's normal state. "There. Pretty as ever."
Fred stopped laughing abruptly. "I think you should have left it, but whatever. We don't have time for this, anyway. Here-" Fred took out his wand and demonstrated the Niveimenti charm slowly for Rook. "It has to be a wispy movement like this... Yes, that's right, light like snow."
Rook practiced the movements a few times and managed to perfect the incantation at Fred's direction after about a minute. Soon, the tower was lousy with snow through the combined efforts of all three of them.
"This is going to be noisy. Filch is on the other side of the castle, but Mrs. Norris is close enough that she's bound to hear us, so we have to be very quick."
Rook sat on the wooden toboggan, her breath forming a mist in the now freezing air. "I'm ready," she announced.
"After this," Fred strategized, "we need to run full tilt for the common-"
George jumped onto the back of the toboggan, grabbing Rook around the waist as he pushed them off down the staircase with his free arm. George and Rook hurtled over the thick snow and Rook tugged frantically at the reins of the toboggan, but was unable to avoid noisily scraping against the stone walls as they descended. George's arms reached around to help her maneuver the sharp turns and they accelerated steadily until they crashed at the bottom of the stairs, where the snow had thinned considerably. They fell forward clumsily. George caught himself on his forearm and managed to avoid crushing Rook as he landed.
"All right, Rook?" George asked, looking down at her on her back, his devilish brown eyes twinkling.
Rook righted herself hurriedly, unsure whether she was shaking from adrenaline or George's close proximity. "I-I think I get why that's against the rules."
"Because it's way too fun to be allowed?" he asked, sitting up and ruffling Rook's hair with both his hands, shaking out the accumulated snow. Rook scooped a handful of snow and dropped it onto George's head in turn.
Fred skidded to a halt on the landing, standing upright on the circular sled and expertly dashing snow onto George and Rook as he braked just short of their crash site. He stepped off of the sled and pulled Rook to her feet. "Time to run, folks."
Fred, George, and Rook took off, certain they had made enough noise by now to wake up the whole castle.
"No, no-this way!" Fred directed them. He stopped at a statue Rook recognized as the healer Gunhilda. He tapped the hump on her back with his wand and muttered a password that revealed a secret passageway. They clamored inside, Rook first, and fell silent in the darkness.
"Lumos."
Fred grinned. "Congratulations, mates! We did it!"