When Sarge and Washington are off having a team leader meeting, the others at Blood Gulch are left to their own devices. For Donut, that means trying to teach Caboose to drive the Warthog for some reason. For Lopez, it means just trying to avoid everyone to no avail. For Grif, it means trying to convince Simmons to nap.
Pairings Beyond Grimmons:
~N/A
Other Notes for This Story:
~Canon Divergent After Season 10
Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue or any of the show's characters. They are the rightful properties of Rooster Teeth.
Driving Lessons and Naps
With one final twist of the wrench in his hand, the bolt was firmly in place.
Lopez peered at his work with a critical eye, checking over every detail once more. The paneling over the power conduit no longer looked as if it had been slammed into repeatedly by a tank. His electronic thoughts went to Sheila, and there was even a slight electric blip where a heart would be located on a normal human body. Odd, how thinking of her could still dredge up that kind of reaction from him after all this time.
For what seemed like the billionth time, he let out what could only be described as the robot equivalent of a sigh. The robot used to keep an automated record of the exact number of sighs in his memory files, but decided after a while that the processing power he wasted on that endeavor could serve better functions. Not to mention, it had started to get him feeling even more depressed and exasperated than he usually was with his lot in life.
What had caused the damage he'd been fixing in the first place? Probably better not to know in the long run.
He glanced at the skid marks in the dirt, at the mud covering the wheels of the nearby Warthog, at the slightly dented quality to some of the weaker points on the vehicle, at the Warthog-sized damage that had been done to the side of the base.
He could make some educated guesses. The fact that Caboose and Donut weren't very subtle when it came to Caboose's recent attempts at learning to drive also helped, though Lopez doubted the other members of either team knew what was going on thanks to his repairs.
It was best to try to know as little as possible about what the other soldiers in Blood Gulch were doing. He'd surmised that fairly quickly during his time here. The less you paid active attention to, the less likely it was you would get roped into some ill-conceived and ultimately foolhardy plan.
Besides, so long as Caboose never ran him over when he was practicing his driving, Lopez had no reason to get concerned over the situation. At most, the Blue Rookie was going to set something inexplicably on fire or somehow accidently shoot a teammate, as was his track record.
No metaphorical skin or, in Lopez's case, metal plating off his back. The repairs Lopez occasionally had to make to the bases or to the vehicle kept him occupied and often indisposed when Sarge had some "brilliant" strategy he would want his robotic creation's help on. So, all in all, it was a plus for him in a lot of respects.
"Oh! Hey, Lopez!"
The brown-armored robot stiffened slightly at the familiar voice coming from behind him.
Lopez turned to see that Donut and Caboose were making their way towards him and the Warthog from the Red Base entrance on the opposite side of the building. He wondered briefly if the human sentiment about how if one thinks too much on a subject it will cause it to happen in reality could possibly have some strange logic to it that he wasn't aware of.
It could be worse, he surmised. It could have been Sarge coming to get him for some terrible battle plan or errand, or to force him to listen to one of his poorly attempted "father-son" speeches that left him feeling horribly awkward and more frustrated than a robot probably should feel.
Caboose he didn't really have much of an opinion on, especially now that their supposed "rivalry" was a moot point. Those were Caboose's words, not his. He'd never felt remotely threatened by Caboose's friendship and crush on Sheila. Caboose was truthfully more of a danger to the other members of Blue Team given his track record than anyone else.
He tried to be friendly to Lopez now, perhaps as some homage to Sheila. But, like the others in the canyon, since the rookie didn't know how to speak or understand Spanish there was no real line of communication between them. He often said bizarre things anyways, so Lopez more often than not tuned him out to avoid confusion and potential damage to his thought-processing units.
Donut always did try to be friendly and inclusive to his robotic teammate so, as far as Lopez was concerned, he was probably marginally fonder of him than some of the others. However, his "understanding" (if possible, Lopez would cringe mentally at that poor word choice) of Spanish was so poor that the pink-armored soldier's attempts at trying to translate for Lopez often had the robot wanting to just walk off during conversations. He'd done it a few times, actually. Donut kept describing him as "shy."
Red Team's robot wondered briefly if he could do it now. Just walk off and pretend he hadn't seen or heard the two of them. He'd done that sometimes with both rookies, and both were so naïve that they hadn't thought to take offense. In an odd sort of way, that perhaps endeared them more to Lopez comparatively.
Donut was enthusiastically waving to him now, and who knew who might be waiting at the entrance to Red Base if the Spanish-speaking robot walked in that direction. He knew the other Red Team members had been in there earlier, along with the teenaged girl. While she could actually understand him somewhat too, she also fell into the same "generally tuning them out for the sake of continued sanity" category as Caboose.
The robot had seen Agent Washington walking that way from across the canyon but, truthfully, he liked interacting with him about as much as he did Sarge. Lopez had a new body now, but it was hard to forget that the reason why he needed one in the first place was because he'd been shot by the former Freelancer. He was honestly perplexed and intrigued by how easygoing Donut could be around the man sometimes.
Washington seemed changed now and they could interact civilly when it came to exercises and the like. Lopez could at least respect that Washington was easily the most competent soldier in the canyon, but he couldn't help but still be a bit uneasy around him still. So, he tried keeping day-to-day run-ins with Washington to a minimum.
"How's it going?" Donut asked cheerfully as they caught up to him, though why the pink-armored soldier bothered with such pleasantries when he knew full-well he wouldn't really understand Lopez's response was beyond him.
"Multa. Sólo limpiar el desorden que ustedes dos hicieron anoche." {"Fine. Just cleaning up the mess you two made last night."}
He paused before adding something else to his commentary with a head tilt in Caboose's direction.
"Yo no todos los seguros de vehículos a cubrirlo." {"I don't think any vehicle insurance will cover him."}
"Sorry that we didn't come out here earlier to help clean up." Lopez could almost picture Donut wincing within the confines of his helmet, "Last night we were a little distracted by putting out the fire coming from the Warthog's radio!"
"We didn't even have the radio on!" Caboose tried to supply helpfully.
Lopez put yet another note in his processing unit that he would never let Caboose near him when he was doing maintenance.
Still, the robot was oddly touched and surprised by the apology he'd just received regardless, so much so that he was unable to think of a sarcastic response to what Caboose had just said. Normally, it seemed that everyone always took his repair skills for granted.
"But, the Warthog should be fine, no worries!" Donut was saying in way of a continued explanation, "I double-checked everything! Looks like it was an isolated fuse incident with the radio circuitry."
"El panel de la energía que ustedes dos se estrelló en al menos doce veces no se incendió alguna manera también." {"The power panel you two crashed into at least twelve times didn't burst into flames somehow too."} Lopez responded back, "Eso fue un puto milagro." {"That was a fucking miracle."}
"Lieutenant Scone says I'm getting better with driving now!" Caboose was excitedly bouncing on the balls of his feet, "We're going out to practice now!"
Donut nodded in confirmation, smiling at Caboose before looking over at Lopez with a welcoming grin, "Do you want to come with us?"
There were a lot of things that Lopez would probably rather do. Getting shot again by Agent Washington came readily to mind as one of the top-tier choices. He was about to sarcastically say so when another familiar voice spoke up from behind the three of them.
"Oh, so that's what you guys have been up to." Grif's tone was bored, as though he hadn't really been that concerned in the first place.
Donut looked at the ground sheepishly, "Caboose really wanted to learn how to drive."
His friend nodded enthusiastically, "But, it has to be a secret!"
Lopez and Grif exchanged puzzled, but rather lazy, glances. Truthfully, neither of them were really concerned about why Caboose often thought the way he did.
"Why is that, Caboose?" Grif finally got up the energy to ask.
"Because…" Caboose frowned, "Because…"
"You asked Washington for permission and he said no."
It was a pretty easy thing to guess.
The poor kid's head fell slightly, and he had a crestfallen expression on his face under his blond hair.
"He's getting better though!" Donut cut in, trying to encourage his friend, "Caboose thinks that once Agent Washington sees that he'll change his mind."
"Si él no coge vista de él de alguna manera la captura de la radio en el fuego o chocar contra un edificio de primera." {"If he doesn't catch sight of him somehow catching the radio on fire or crashing into a building first."} Lopez muttered.
"Once I can get through a lesson without crashing, I'm going to show him!" Caboose regained his enthusiasm thanks to Donut's support, "Everyone will be so happy and surprised. Even stupid Tucker!"
Grif wasn't wearing his helmet, and the frown on his face was obvious.
"Please, Grif?" Donut begged dramatically, "Can you just keep quiet about it for a little while longer?"
Still, nothing came from the orange-armored man beyond the doubtful look on his features.
"Lopez knows and he hasn't said anything yet!" Donut informed Grif, looking pointedly at their other teammate for confirmation as to what he had just told Grif.
"Eso es porque no me importa y nadie me entendería, incluso si lo hiciera decir algo." {"That's because I don't really care and no one would understand me even if I did say something."}
Grif remained silent.
"I'll bake those Oreo cakes you like for a whole month." Donut decided to sweeten the deal.
The orange-clad soldier grinned finally, and Donut knew at that point he had totally been played for a food bribe as was his teammate's usual behavior. Grif had really never had any intention or inclination to rat them out, he had just been trying to milk the suspense to get something good out of it.
"Make it two months and you have a deal."
Donut seemed to feel more relieved than annoyed at the trick and, truthfully, Donut liked baking as a pastime so he didn't really mind the bribe, as he nodded, "Thanks, Grif!"
An orange-armored shoulder shrugged, "All that's out here are the bases and open land, and the Warthog's pretty indestructible. So, no skin off my back if you want to risk your life giving Caboose driving lessons."
Donut fidgeted slightly again, looking sheepish once more, "He really has gotten somewhat better now that he's stopped mistaking the gas and brake pedals so much."
"They really do look alike. That is so confusing!" Caboose complained loudly from next to the pink-armored man.
Grif smiled wryly and looked at Donut with a newfound sense of appreciation, "You really are a lot braver than I thought, kid."
Lopez could just imagine that Donut's eyes had become teary underneath his helmet, "Gee, thanks, Grif!"
He then turned to his friend from Blue Team, "Ready to get started, Caboose?"
"Sí, sólo date prisa e ir para que yo pueda seguir con mi día." {"Yes, just hurry up and go so that I can get on with my day."}
Grif turned to look at Lopez then as if he had just remembered something, "Oh, yeah, I should probably give you a head's up, Lopez. Sarge is probably going to be looking for you later for some kind of special assignment." He informed him before shrugging lazily again, "I didn't really pay attention to the details."
"Mierda." {"Shit."}
That was how, when Simmons came looking for everyone later, he only found Grif resting lazily against the power panel that Lopez had fixed earlier and the Warthog long gone.
"I could have sworn I heard voices." The maroon-armored soldier muttered, "Where did everybody go?"
His teammate gave a half-hearted shrug in reply, "Beats me." Grif told him, "Caboose and Donut went off on their top-secret mission in the Warthog, and Lopez went with them at the last second."
"Lopez actually went with them?" Simmons repeated incredulously, "Why the fuck would he want to do that?"
Grif shrugged again, closing his eyes to block out the sun beating down on Blood Gulch, "You'd be surprised at what can motivate a man to do crazy things, Simmons. Even a robot."
"I guess." Simmons' voice sounded doubtful and distant now, as though he were lost in thought.
Grif sighed and opened his eyes slightly. He knew the other man was probably thinking about whatever conversation Washington and Sarge were still having inside, his overly-anxious mind undoubtedly going a mile a minute over what the implications might be.
Fuck, Grif was rather worried too. The thought of getting dragged into some other life-threatening conflict was not a pleasant one to him either and one's head couldn't help but go there whenever Washington showed up to have a "chat" with their leader given the previous track record of those types of conversations.
But, he'd be damned if he was going to let that ruin his chance for a good nap now that he had actual free time for it as opposed to all the other times when he'd just shirked his duties for one. It would probably do Simmons a world of good too to do the same while he still had the chance before whatever might end up happening would inevitably happen.
"Simmons."
The Red Team's second-in-command turned to look down at Grif questioningly the moment he heard him say his name, just in time to see his cubby teammate's hand clamp around his still-organic wrist.
Grif tugged down hard before Simmons could react and the Dutch Irishman lost his balance as a result, falling rather ungracefully to the ground on his posterior while his back hit the wall base behind him.
"Ow! Grif! What the fuck?" His human arm still hurt from the force of the pull a bit, and he glared at the Hawaiian next to him.
"Your overactive thinking's making it impossible for me to relax." Grif wasn't looking at him, though the smirk on his face showcased just how amused he was by Simmons' reaction, "We never get free time like this. Just enjoy it."
The redhead frowned, though his arm no longer hurt, "But—!"
"It won't kill you to not obsess over everything for one minute." Grif cut off his protest, "Sooner or later, Sarge will be done with his talk with Washington and you can go back to being his sycophant just like old times."
Simmons seemed to think for a moment. Then, he smiled slightly and leaned back against the wall in a lanky imitation of Grif's relaxed posture.
"Sycophant, Grif?" He asked lazily after a few minutes, a teasing smirk forming on his face, "I'm impressed. I didn't think you knew such big words."
Grif didn't open his eyes, but his smile widened, "Kiss-ass."
"Dumbass." Simmons' smile matched his own.
The two stayed like that for a long while, falling into a comfortable silence.
They could feel their armored shoulders brushing against one another's slightly, but neither of them moved away from the other or particularly wanted to comment on it.
Author's Notes: Another part of my earlier first fic that I decided to scrap that was still Canon Divergent after Season 10! This was my first time attempting to write for Lopez, and I rather liked the interactions he had with Caboose, Donut, and Grif in the first half of the story. I thought the Grimmons moment at the end was rather cute, so I ended up deciding to post this as a short story of its own here instead of just scraping it! :D
The driving excursion trio later on get the Warthog inexplicably stuck in a ditch, and Lopez subsequently regrets deciding to come along on the road trip. Naturally. XD