Chapter 9

Reid sat in the back seat, watching street light after street light pass them. The car ride was eerily silent, but Reid did not notice. He was too focused thinking about the meeting earlier that day. The entire team had grouped together to review the information they had found. As much as Reid tried to pay attention and contribute, he couldn't. He kept thinking about the conversation—argument—he had with Rossi and about how all of his plans kept unraveling. He noticed everyone on the team giving him looks throughout the entire meeting, but couldn't do anything about it without seeming suspicious. All he could do was sit quietly and pretend to think about the case.

Hours later, Hotch finally decided they weren't going to get any farther that day and told everyone to head back to the hotel for some rest. Reid absentmindedly got into the SUV with Prentiss and Morgan and the ride had been silent since. Everyone now and then, he could tell Morgan was looking at him in the mirror or that Prentiss was shooting him side-glances, but he honestly could not bring himself to care. There was nothing he could do. He was losing control of everything.

The vehicle halted to a stop and Reid felt the engine switch off. He looked up and saw the words "Trader's Hotel". Collecting his bag, he opened the door and stepped out just as the other SUV was arriving. Everyone gathered in the lobby while J.J. checked them in. She returned a few minutes later with their keys.

"All right. Hotch, here is your key. Rossi…Emily…Morgan…and mine. Our rooms are all on the second floor."

"Okay," Hotch announced. "Let's get everything into our rooms and rest for the night. I want all of you down here by 8:00 tomorrow morning." He watched as everyone nodded their heads sleepily before dismissing them with a short nod. The team was about to disperse when Reid spoke up:

"Uh, J.J.? You forgot to give me my key." He watched as she hesitated and glanced at Hotch.

"That's because you're sharing with me, Reid," Morgan said, showing the key to Reid.

"What?"

"We're sharing a ro—"

"Yeah, I heard that. Why do we have to be in the same room?" Reid tried hard not to let his annoyance show but knew he was failing.

"Well," J.J. started, "We couldn't pay for six full rooms. The most we could get is five, so someone was going to have to share."

"Why does it have to be Morgan and me? Why can't someone else share?"

"I…it just seemed like the best option."

"I offered to share." Morgan said, suddenly feeling twice as tired.

"Well, I didn't. Did no one think to ask me what I wanted? You can't just make decisions for me. If two of us needed to share, why couldn't J.J. and Prentiss share? They usually do. Or here's another idea: we could jus—"

"Reid." He looked up to see Hotch's "no-further-arguments" face, and wanted more than ever to argue. But he instead bit his tongue and glared at Hotch for a moment before snatching the key from Morgan and heading to their room without another word. It took every bit of self-control he had not to slam the door behind him.

Two hours later, everyone was in their respective rooms and fast asleep. All except Reid, who was lying wide awake in bed, trying to ignore the endless ache in his stomach. He dared not move in fear of worsening the pain. Instead, he focused on his breathing and mentally reviewed pain-management techniques. For a while, the pain minimized, and Reid believed he might actually be able to sleep. Suddenly, an unbearable wave of cramps washed over him and he could not prevent the whimper that escaped him. He turned his head and was relieved to see Morgan still sleeping peacefully. After occasionally sharing a room with Reid for so many years, Morgan learned to ignore the sounds Reid made at night or else Morgan would not sleep at all due to Reid's constant nightmares.

When the pain finally lessened a bit, Reid decided he couldn't take anymore. He carefully slipped out of bed and made his way over to his suitcase. He pulled out a clean(ish) pair of clothes and quickly, but quietly, put them. He kept his eyes on Morgan the entire time, thankful that the older did not stir once. Stuffing his wallet into his pocket, Reid gently walked to the door and hesitantly put his hand on the knob. As he unlocked the door, he slowly tuned the knob, wincing with every squeak. Morgan remained undisturbed as Reid carefully opened the door and slipped out, gently closing it behind him. Reid crept passed his other teammates' rooms and then hurriedly paced out of the hotel onto the streets of Omaha, Nebraska.

He slowed to an average pace as he wandered in the direction of a convenience store he vaguely remembered seeing on the way to the hotel. As he walked, he came across a group of teenagers who were smoking. He saw the two girls in the group eye him in what he figured must be disgust. The realization made him walk a little faster. As his pulse sped up, he felt slightly dizzy, but pushed passed it until he saw "BERNIE'S CORNER STORE".

Reid weakly pushed open the door and heard the bell faintly ring. A middle-aged man briefly acknowledged him before he returned to polishing the counter. Reid shuffled over to an isle full of over-the-counter drugs and vitamins. He looked at the labels searching for pain killers he can take without having to eat anything. He found something suitable enough and went down the aisle for protein supplements. As he stared at the various bottles, his vision blurred and he wavered slightly on his feet. He shook his head in an attempt to re-focus and quickly grabbed the pills in front of him. He then unsteadily wandered toward the next aisle to find bottled water.

He never made it to the next aisle…

In one second, Reid's vision blurred before going completely dark as he lost his footing and fell to the tiled floor.

He heard a noise…a voice…someone was talking to him… He felt something brush his cheek and he cracked his eyes open. There was the blurred figure of a man with his hand on Reid's face. Gradually, Reid's senses returned, and he opened his eyes a little more.

"…hey…hey…you all right, guy? Hey…" Reid let out a groan and attempted to get up when he felt a hand on his chest. "Whoa, hey, just calm down, guy. Not so fast. How're you feelin'?"

"mrrmm…I'm fine…" Reid lied, mumbling. "...Just need to…" Again, Reid tried to get up, and, again, he was stopped.

"Just hold on, guy. Help is coming."

"Help?" Reid scooted a bit away from the middle-aged man and tried to sit up for the third time.

"I called an ambulance. They're on their way." The man tried to hold Reid down again, but Reid lazily swatted his hand away.

"An ambulance?" Reid sat up more in alarm.

"Yeah, it won't be long 'til it's here."

"No…no…" Reid attempted to stand, ignoring the man's protests. "I can't…" Reid looked around nervously. "I need to go." He stumbled as he took a step.

"Wait, you need help. You could be hurt." The man followed Reid's unsteady movements, arms ready to catch Reid in case he fell. "At least let the guys check you out first to make sure you're not too damaged or anything."

"Thank you, sir, for all you've done, but I really need to go." Reid said with annoyance as he mustered up the strength to push open the door.

"But, guy…!" Reid heard the sound of the bell followed by the soft thump of the door closing behind him. He looked around for any signs of the ambulance and headed back to the hotel when he saw none. Having forgotten his pills and water, Reid walked along the route he'd taken before. He passed the teenagers again, but refused to look at them in fear of what he would see in their eyes. Occasionally looking behind him in paranoia, Reid finally neared the hotel. He faintly heard sirens as he opened the door and slipped inside. He waited for the sirens to fade before he journeyed upstairs. Reid opened the door to his hotel room with only a fraction of the caution he had used earlier.

His heart paused and his blood ran cold at what he saw inside…

Derek Morgan was sitting on the edge of his bed, fully awake, and appearing to have been waiting. It was clear that he was not happy. A cuss word Reid rarely ever used was the only thought in his head.

"Where've you been?" Morgan said simply. Reid could recognize the look on his face; it was Morgan's "no-bullshit" look. And, yet, Reid tried to push his luck.

"Oh, uh, I was just walking around. I, uh, couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk to tire myself."

Morgan didn't even blink. "Nice story. Now, do you want to try telling me the truth?"

Reid opened his mouth to insist his honesty, but then thought better of it. He took a deep breath and released it slowly, hoping Morgan wouldn't push too far. "I…had gone to the store…the convenience store we passed on the way here."

Morgan continued to stare at him. "Uh-huh. Do you want to try a third time?"

Reid gave him a confused look. "No, I really had gone to the store. I went to buy…" Reid paused. He couldn't say he was buying protein pills. That was pathetic. "…some sleep pills." Morgan didn't change. "I'm not lying to you."

"Oh, you're not?"

"No."

"Then where's the bag?"

"What?"

"The bag, Reid. You said you went to the store, so what did you do with what you bought?"

Reid felt what little color he had left in his face drain away. 'I…"

"Save it, Reid," Morgan said with increasing anger as he stood and made his way to where Reid was still standing in the doorway. "I know where you were."

"…I told you, I was at—"

"Enough with the lies, Reid!" All at once, Reid went quiet as he and Morgan stood face-to-face. He dared to swallow. "I know you went out to buy drugs."

Reid's eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. "Wh-what?!"

"Stop playing games, Reid. I'm sick of watching you destroy yourself."

"I'm not on drugs! Why do people keep thinking that?!" 'Is it because I'm so weak that taking drugs is the only reason I would ever be able to lose weight?'

"Because it's obvious, Reid." Reid felt frustration build within him. Why couldn't anyone understand?

"I'm not doing what you all think I am. Search me, if you don't believe me!" Reid held his arms up, inviting Morgan to search all he liked. "I guarantee you won't find any drugs on me. Go ahead and look."

For a moment, Morgan just stood there staring at Reid who held a determined look on his face. Morgan then took Reid's offer and patted down the younger agent. After a minute, Morgan stepped back, having found nothing besides Reid's wallet.

"You could have hidden it."

"Morgan!"

"Reid! We know there is something going on with you, and if it isn't drugs, then tell me what it really is." Reid stared at Morgan, making no attempt to explain anything. "If you can't do that—if you can't come up with a reason that has nothing to do with drugs—then it can only be assumed that you are using again. That's all there is to it, Reid. Either give me another reason, or it's drugs."

"But I'm not using!"

"Then prove it!"

Reid quickly lifted up his shirt sleeves and shoved his arms out at Morgan. "See? There isn't any new track marks."

"There are other places to insert a needle, Reid. I know you know that."

"Well, then, look…" Reid stopped himself from telling Morgan to search the rest of his body. He couldn't do that. He couldn't let Morgan see how disgusting he still is. Morgan would laugh. And he would have every right to. "Morgan…I promise you, I am not taking drugs. Please, if there were ever a time you believed me, please, believe me now."

Morgan stared at Reid for a long moment, searching for anything to suggest Reid was lying. Reid's eyes said he was genuine, but the facts pointed elsewhere. In the end, Morgan let out a sigh and took a few steps away from Reid.

"Come back in here. We have to wake up early, and it looks like you haven't slept in weeks." Reid remained still as Morgan sat down on his bed. He looked up at Reid. "Are you just going to stand there all night?" Reid didn't answer. "Well, when your legs get tired, remember that there's a bed in here waiting for you." Morgan lay down and turned off the lamp on the nightstand. When Reid still hadn't moved after a minute or two, Morgan got a little annoyed. "Reid, get in here now, or I'm going to turn off the nightlight and let you sleep in the dark." A moment later, Reid hesitantly entered the room and closed the door behind him. Morgan closed his eyes as he heard Reid slip into his own bed.

That night, neither agent slept in peace…

A/N: I don't know when the next chapter will be, since I am in the process of moving. Hopefully, I'll write again soon.

REVIEW RESPONSES:

Couragexoxo: Hmm…let's just say that a few secrets will be learned in the upcoming chapters. "Young grasshopper"—I've heard that before, but I cannot remember where…

KellieKat: Thanks, I do try to keep everyone in character. Rossi, Prentiss, and Morgan are easier. J.J. can be difficult when it comes to word choice and reacting in certain situations. I haven't tried to write much of Garcia yet, but I think she will have her difficulties. Hotch and Reid are the toughest ones to write because Hotch has to be authoritative but also underlyingly kind, and Reid has to be a genius who can be really clueless at times. But it is nice to know that I am succeeding at this. I thought for sure that I was messing up Reid's character.

Love Of Blood: The case is not going to be very important—just a plot device. I'm really sorry; the second part of that review was not for you. It was for misuki. asaba (the review was written in Spanish, which I haven't taken since fourth grade). FanFiction. net automatically deletes any word that looks like an address. I forgot to add spaces in his/her username after the periods, so it was deleted. Sorry, for the confusion. Although, regardless of language, please do not EVER apologize for a long review. The longer, the better. Is Spencer Reid going to die? No, I am not going to kill him. But that does not mean he is going to be okay by the end of this. He might be better or even worse. We'll see. :D

MW3addict: IF they find out the truth. I make no promises one way or the other. But, yes, confrontations are absolutely delicious to read and to write. It was a little challenging, though, because I had to keep Reid somewhat respectful since Rossi is his superior, but enraged due to the allegations. I think I handled it decently enough. Although, with this chapter, Morgan is not his superior, so I didn't have to hold myself back at all.

Cas67Impala: I'm sorry you had to wait so long; I've been a little busy. But I SWEAR that I had already written out the outline for the chapter (something I NEVER do) a month ago. I've been typing bit by bit with each chance I got and have finally finished it. And, yes, when I introduce the self-harm factor (which will be about half-way through this ever-lengthening story), it will be a while before someone notices, IF they notice at all. But that is going to come (I'm not sure how many) chapters from now. But thank you for reading and leaving a review. I is good to know that people are still interested in the eventual self-harm aspect of the story.

miyuki. asaba: I was not planning for this to be related to schizophrenia, but I might now decide to do something with the idea. No, Reid won't actual have schizophrenia by the end of the story, but I will play with the topic a bit.