A/N: I apologize or not writing in a while. For those of you who have read my profile updates, you know that I spent the month of November participating in NaNoWriMo. I will not update this story anymore for December because I have other stories I have not updated for several months.
Much thanks to kateryne1 for reading the chapter in advance and giving a few suggestions on how to improve it.

Enjoy (or not...).

Chapter 13

A cool breeze shoved itself against the body of Spencer Reid. It slowed his pace, but he never noticed. His mind was blank, but his heart was full. He was unsure of himself. He was confused and frustrated and so very tired. And, yet, he kept walking, despite wanting to rest. That was all he could do. It was the only option he had left. He didn't know how long he had been at the hospital, but he hoped that it was not long enough for them to figure out who he was or to examine him. He hoped that the team had not been contacted. Perhaps they were too involved in the case to answer any other calls. Or maybe...they did get a call, but they simply didn't care enough to come to the hospital. Why would they care? It was his own fault. If he was healthier, if he had more control over himself, if he was more motivated to get better... But he wasn't. He still had more work to do. He couldn't let the team see him in this state-not even able to stay conscious. Hotch had already realized how weak he was. If they found out about this, Reid might be grounded for months...or fired. He needed to prove himself. It was too soon for him to be found out.

Reid stumbled slightly but paid no mind. He kept walking, head down, fighting his growing sense of dissociation. The world around him was inconsequential, and he didn't even notice as it all faded away from him. The only thing he was aware of was the scuff of his feet along the pavement and the sinking feeling of his inner organs. Even his own thoughts seemed lost to him, causing a blank cloud to form, hiding everything else. It was when a car rushed by, horn blaring and men shouting, that Spencer finally looked up. He found himself halfway across a wide street that he did not recognize. His vision filled with an intense light as another car came his way. Uncertain, he stood there, blinking at the brightness. The car hurriedly swerved around him, causing it to screech as the air filled with the smell of burnt rubber. Reid knew that he needed to get onto the sidewalk, but his mind was having trouble comprehending the situation. None of it felt real. Perhaps if it were a dream, he would wake up if a car hit him. And if he woke up...maybe the person he saw in the mirror would no longer exist. It was such a quiet whisper amidst the foggy state Reid was in that tried to reason this. But he did not have the energy to trust in this uncertain logic, so he stood there in a daze, waiting for a sign to tell him if he was indeed dreaming or not.

"HEY, DICKHEAD! HEY!" The shout barely registered in Reid's mind. "You there! What, are you tryin' get yourself killed or somethin'?! Hey!" As the screaming grew louder, it threatened the shroud that covered Reid's mind. "What, are you deaf?!" Reid blinked and slowly raised his head toward the direction of the yells. He managed to see that a man was marching toward him. It was then that he realized several cars had stopped behind him. People were shouting and honking their horns. Some were insulting him and even threatening him. And then there was one man who was exiting his car and coming directly toward Reid. Something sparked, telling Reid that this man posed a threat and that he should raise his adrenaline levels to prepare to either fight or run. He ignored it, continuing to stare as the man came closer and closer, yelling the entire way there. Finally, the man was within a foot of Reid. Through the haze, Reid noticed the man was slightly shorter than him with a muscular build and almost white, blond hair. He did not look pleased.

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doin', huh?" Reid knew that the logical thing to do was to reply, but he could not bring himself to form any words. "Look, you're holdin' up traffic. You gonna move on your own, or am I gonna have to help you out, huh?" Reid blinked. "Well?" Nothing. "All right, then." The man grabbed Reid roughly by his collar. "Guess I'm gonna have to force my way to work, 'cause I'm not being late for some suicidal idiot." On the last word, a large fist connected with Reid's abdomen. The breath was knocked out of him, and he gasped desperately. His eyes widened as he suddenly realized the depth of the situation. His mind began to clear just enough for him to notice his surroundings. There were people in their cars who watched on with a look of horror on their faces. Some drivers did not care and were simply waiting until it was over. But the ones Reid noticed most were the ones who actually encouraged his attacker.

Reid wrapped an arm around his midsection and slowly stood up straight to face the man. Upon this second examining, he noticed the man was around his sixties and had several scars along his face. On his neck was a tattoo of the U.S. Marine Corps Seal. Reid swallowed, regretting the situation he had walked (or rather, had not walked) into.

"Ah, so you're finally awake, now, huh?" Reid straightened further, despite the pain in his stomach that hurt far more than it should have. "You gonna move now?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to inconvenience anyone," Reid said softly.

"What's that, Sunshine?" The man turned his head, prompting Reid to speak louder.

"I said 'I'm sorry'," Reid spoke a little louder and hated the way his voice cracked on the final word.

"Aww, looks like someone's still going through puberty. Maybe you'll learn some respect when you grow up, kid."

Reid gritted his teeth. "I am not a kid. I can take care of myself!"

The man looked Reid up and down before chuckling. "You sure about that? 'Cause that..." The man moved his hand downward while motion in to Reid's body. "...sure as hell isn't healthy."

Reid clenched his hands into fists as he glared at the man. "What the hell do you know?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said. You know nothing about me! You don't know how hard I'm working, and it still isn't good enough! You don't know what I've been through! You don't know anything!"

"Listen, kid, you need to watch what you're sayin' and get your ass out the damn road. What's the matter? You mad 'cause your momma isn't feedin' you right?" The man approached Reid, his face mere centimeters away. "I think it's time you grew up and started taking care of yourself, 'cause I'm sure your momma doesn't wanna be taking care of your crazy, screwed-up ass anymore. Why don't you just accept that your problems aren't enough for anybody to give two shits about, and they sure as hell aren't enough to make me late for work. So, get your ass out the road!"

Reid glared into the man's wild eyes. "Fuck. You." The words surprised Reid even as they left his mouth, yet he could not bring himself to care. His mind barely had enough time to register the quickly-approaching fist before he fell to the ground, wincing at the pain surrounding his left eye. Suddenly, the man was towering over him. A wad of saliva hit the side of Reid's face. When he attempted to wipe it away, he felt a sharp kick to his abdomen, followed by another and then another. Around him, Reid noticed people staring. No one attempted to stop the pain he was enduring. Some people were cheering, giving the man suggestions of where to hurt Reid next. It was like before, in high school, when he had been tied to the post. He was tortured, and no one did anything about it-they all just laughed. No one cared then, just as no one cared now. He was foolish to have ever thought anyone cared. Truly, truly foolish.

After a minute of abuse, the man finally stopped kicking. Reid watched through squinted eyes as the man roughly picked Reid up and carried him to the side of the street where he was thrown onto the sidewalk. The man spat on Reid once more, mumbling about being late to work as he walked away. A moment later, everyone had returned to their cars and was driving away. People on the sidewalks walked passed Reid, acting as though nothing had happened. The day continued like any other. Reid realized that it would always continue, regardless of whether he was there or not. In the eyes of those around him, he was only as noteworthy as a speed hump. Easily run over, annoying, and quickly forgotten. Nothing more than a minuscule footnote in the autobiographies of those he encountered. What difference would there be if he disappeared? Would anyone even notice if he stayed on that street, if he never returned?

After a long while, Reid was able to ignore his throbbing stomach long enough to sit up. He carefully dragged himself to the nearest building, gritting his teeth at the pain each movement caused. When he reached the brick wall of the building, Reid slumped against it. He fought for breath, yet feared the pain breathing caused him. He tried to assess his injuries, but part of him did not care enough to do so. It hurt...and, yet...the pain was strangely refreshing. It reminding him that, yes, he was still alive. Yes, he was still a part of this world. Yes, he was a person-perhaps not a worthy person, but still of human flesh. He still had a life, and the pain was proof of it. It kept him away from the foggier regions of his infected mind. It kept him awake. It kept him aware. It kept him focus on what he needed to do. And right now, what he needed to do was get up. But he couldn't-the pain was too much.

'No. No. I have experienced worse pain before. I know how to handle pain. My entire life has prepared me to deal with pain. This barely registers. It's nonexistent. I can manage it on my own.'

Reid grunted as he placed his hands on the building and slowly lifted himself up. He stood, leaning against the wall, gathering his strength. And, then, he continued walking with a look of determination upon his face. He was able to think for the first time in days. The primary thought in his head: 'I still have work to do.'

He walked, somewhat limping, for more than 17 blocks until the clouds of his mind threatened to take over again. Reid shook his head. 'No. I'm not ready yet.' As the distance he walked grew, so did the fog. It was not long before the veil had finally swallowed his thoughts, and once more, he was walking aimlessly. Part of him clung to the small bit of clarity that shone through his vastly shrouded mind, but that clarity was only strong enough to force himself to stop and sit under a small tree. He stared at the world in a blank daze. He felt as though he was waiting for something, but he could not be certain of anything. Should he continue walking or stay? Why was he walking at all? What would happen if he stayed? Was there a third option?

Reid continued to sit, feeling the world become more and more distant. Yes, he was waiting. But he did not know what he was waiting for. An answer? A solution? A guide? A reason? Motivation? Or perhaps...a person? Reid mindlessly surveyed the area, finding nothing of interest. He would wait until whatever or whoever he was waiting for would come for him. His eyes glanced at his surroundings again as a raindrop landed on his neck. Soon, the city was hidden within a watery veil.

A/N: Although I doubt it, if anyone wants to read the story I wrote for NaNoWriMo, you can find the first 2 chapters on FictionPress.
Also, I am considering writing a short Criminal Minds story for Christmas, so stay tuned. ;)

REVIEW RESPONSES:

CM-Reider: Terribly sorry! I never meant to become a murderer!

kateryne1: Merci beacoup pour lire le chapitre à l'avance et donner vos pensées. ^_^

Doclover: Cool, it must have been fun to have a horse. And I would highly recommend watching Doctor Who (although, it might be best to skip seasons 6-8). :)

MW3addict: Thanks. I was worried that I put too much useless information into the last chapter. I haven't looked at the word count for this chapter, but I think it is the longest I've done in a while. Dialogue certainly helps, as I discovered while doing NaNoWriMo.

cordelia. watsinhimer: Hopefully this chapter cleared up your confusion. Remember that Reid is not in a proper state of mind. He is sleep deprived, starving, and dissociated. And, yes, the team is definitely going to find out some things very soon. ;)

miyuki. asaba: Yes, it's a bit late, but I managed to upload in December like you requested. Unfortunately, the next update will not be until some tie in January.