A/N: And we're back! This chapter was a blast to make, ladies and gents, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you to all of you who read, reviewed, favourited and followed.
Fantasy Fan 223: Yep - I was hoping that I could get Ford to shine in the last chapter, and I'm glad he's ended up as an almost-likeable character (well, I didn't hate him from the beginning, but I'm kinda weird like that). As for the pattern of luck, I'm going to see if I can make it a bit more unpredictable than that: replying to every moment of good luck with bad luck is a bit too Game Of Thrones, and I don't need any more references to missed schedules haunting my brain. I'm glad you cracked the codes, and I hope the latest ones continue to prompt intrigue. As for what happens to Ford... you'll have to wait and see. (Diabolical laughter)
Northgalus2002: You guessed correctly - it's a little too early to go back to Dipper and Mabel. Glad you liked the chapter, and I hope this one lives up to the standards set.
Brenne: Bill's not going to be happy, that's for sure, but first he's got to find out that something's up. At present, Bill is busy having fun with Dipper and Wendy's game, leaving him too distracted to pay much attention to the other games. On the upside, that leaves Mr A with some breathing room to creep around behind the scenes. On the downside... well, Dipper and Wendy aren't having a good time, to say the least.
Guest: Glad you liked the chapter, and yes, it's high time Self-Loathing got some comeuppance. To answer your question, Bill's weirdness gave Self-Loathing a physical presence, allowing Bill to make a deal with him. I also really like your idea concerning what he'll be up to in the future. As for the Original Mystery Twins... yeah, there's going to be a lot of issues before this story ends. The same goes for everyone else on the planet - the situation's going to get a lot more heartrending before it gets better. I'm very glad you liked the codes, and hopefully they won't get too grating - there's a big one coming up.
Kraven The Hunter: Yeah, I've always had a morbid liking for grotesque details, as you can see. Also, I'm so happy you liked the "you're worth saving" moment - I was worried it might be too much. Anyway, hope you enjoy the latest chapter.
Fanboy-Guest: Thanks so much for your review, and I hope the story continues to impress.
Anyway, without further ado, the latest chapter: read, review and above all, enjoy!
Disclaimer: Gravity Falls is not mine. Oh, and before we begin, I should probably explain that John isn't an OC. John is actually a actually a actually a cnfjdfjbd22if2bi3bwueihee4893h3h1nnfjdfuebjfmdnf #*$&*#$*##*&%(_)!
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Fort Acheron lay in ruins.
Within half an hour of its arrival, the Filth had colonized every last inch of the compound and infected everyone too slow to escape its expansion. Once it became clear that they couldn't destroy the source of the infection or even delay it by conventional means, the soldiers had left the camp in a desperate crowd of terrified personnel and barely-functional vehicles – closely followed by the refugees that had been fast enough to catch up with them before the gates finally slammed shut, never to be opened again. The rest of the populace were abandoned behind the fence, to be consumed by the rising tide of Filth sweeping across the ersatz fort or killed by the hordes of infectees swarming out from the inky depths.
In the end, the high walls and the heavy gate did little to stop the spread of the plague: the pooling fluid simply flowed over the fortifications and oozed through the chain-link, a multitude of tendrils reaching out of the ooze and tearing several gaping holes in the fence as it went.
Worse still, Bill Cipher had been very particular in the construction of his playgrounds: like the other realms that made up his empire, Fort Acheron was built on its own self-contained pocket of unreality floating within the ether, inaccessible without Bill's permission and inescapable without his dubious favour. He'd briefly connected the landscapes of his dominion to allow Dipper and Wendy entry and egress from this playground, but at all other times, the realms remained as detached and isolated as a leper colony.
Fortunately, this meant the Filth would not be able to spread beyond the site of its initial emergence. The celestial infection was, for all intents and purposes, quarantined.
Unfortunately, it also meant that the refugees were trapped along with it. And with so many of them amassing at the invisible barrier surrounding their tiny world, it took a grand total of twenty minutes for the Filth to catch up with them.
Now Fort Acheron and the surrounding area were barren of life: the only signs of movement were of the countless thousands of infectees slowly milling about the ruined compound and the neighbouring hills, each of them searching for some means of escape. None of them could possibly be mistaken for human beings anymore: their skin was now permeated with the tarry black slime of the Filth, their flesh alive with writhing garlands of obsidian-black tentacles, their luminous red eyes burning with energies older and more toxic than human emotion. Their mouths gaped open constantly, allowing a delirious torrent of meaningless words to spill forth; each rant prompted another from the neighbouring infectees, until the entire playground echoed with the blasphemous litanies of the mad. Had anyone been listening, they would have been driven to insanity by that mind-shredding sound, perhaps even opened their veins in a desperate attempt to escape the chthonic chorus… but of course there was no-one in reach left to hear – only plaguebearers, oblivious to anything except their need to spread their disease further, and the bubbling voices still playing out across their hollowed-out minds.
Just beyond the wall of reality and well out of earshot, Axolotl watched with morbid interest as the carnage played out, earplugs at the ready. He himself was immune to the madness – along with those strains of the Filth carried through auditory stimuli – but his host was not, and until such time as he was capable of protecting mortals from the soul-devouring effects of the Filth, he would have to remain cautious… and observe.
At the epicentre of the chaos, a vast lake of cloying black liquid dominated the camp, the foulness of the Filth made manifest. Tentacles the size of tree-trunks bordered its banks, thrashing the air in nightmarish ecstasy; beyond them, infectees immersed themselves in the viscous Filth, bathing their twisted bodies in its mutagenic depths and encouraging the growth of fresh distortion. And they were not alone in the black water: other things oozed and writhed in the murk, spindly boneless monstrosities that had long since abandoned their bodies for life lived as raw manifestations of the Filth. They had not been formed from those who'd been infected at the camp, nor were they even native to this reality: they had followed the Filth to this dimension through its twisting sideways step across the multiverse… and they were not alone.
Something was taking shape in the air above the camp, something invisible, intangible and yet so present that it could be felt as bubbling radiation against the skin. Something was approaching from the rent in the dimensional wall, something of the Filth and yet so much more than mere Filth that the mortal brain actively recoiled from imagining it. It had prepared the way in advance a long time ago, sent a part of itself in physical form to ensure that nobody could halt its advance, and now the rest of it was on its way to join the fray. And as the radioactive sensation grew, it was joined by a sound: at first a distant echo, like the faraway sound of a train horn at the opposite end of a tunnel, it grew and grew until it drowned out even the demented chorus of the lesser Filth, until even Axolotl could hear it from his position beyond the boundaries of the bubble.
At last, the sound burst into physical existence, finally clarified as spoken words, deep and bubbling, hissing with static and sparking with malignant mischief. The entity that had coalesced above Fort Acheron was a presence without substance and matter, a disembodied essence bereft of any flesh save that which it borrowed from the Filth below – and yet terrifyingly powerful for the simple fact that it had a voice.
"I am the Dreamers' Dream," it said. "Let me in."
And hearing the words that it spoke, Axolotl knew at once that the Filthy Divinity had sent their Gabriel to deliver the message of the zero-point pathogen to the new world.
The Black Signal had arrived.
"SoOs?"
Soos blinked, instinctively shuddering to a halt as he did so. By now, he'd pretty much forgotten how long he'd been running and how many times he'd died. He'd stopped tripping over his own corpses a while ago, so the killings had probably stopped, but he couldn't be sure. And yet… he had the weirdest feeling that he'd heard something…
"SoOs?"
There it was again. A voice from somewhere just beyond the western edge of the road, calling his name from somewhere deep within the ditches and gullies bordering the endless highway. Remembering the number of times he'd died in those trenches, Soos absently wondered if that curiously familiar voice belonged to one of the bodies he'd left behind. Was he going to meet a zombie version of himself? Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. He'd been alone out here for so long, after all, and a friendly face might make the journey a little easier; if nothing else, it'd give him someone to talk to.
"SoO-oOo-Oos? WhErE AaAaAaRe YoOoUuUu?"
The voice was closer now, and Soos could tell at once that it didn't belong to him. And yet, it was still familiar, though. In fact, the more he thought about it…
"SOoS? CoMe OuT, cOmE oUt, WhErEvEr YoU aRe, sWeEtHeArT. DoN't kEeP mE wAiTiNg."
This time, recognition hit Soos like a bolt of lightning. Data corruption and Weirdmageddon had mangled the near-monotone voice into an unearthly electronic singsong, but there was no mistaking the schoolgirlish tone at its heart.
"Oh no," said Soos. "Oh, no, no, no, not you…"
A split-second later, something huge dragged itself from out of the nearest ditch, a colossal heap of scrap metal crudely welded into a rough parody of a human being: just shy of twenty feet tall, it had clearly been made from bits and pieces of the Shacktron, for Soos easily recognized the colossal legs and enormous arms that had once supported their flagship. True, both sets of limbs had clearly been trimmed to support a much smaller body, but there was no mistaking Old Man McGucket's designs – or the bits and pieces of the Mystery Shack still clinging to the monstrosity's joints. Where the Shack itself had once been mounted, there was now a bank of television sets shaped into a torso, all of them blank except for a blizzard of static.
And above the screens, upon shoulders haloed with sensors and writhing with masses of electrical cables, sat a hideous-looking animatronic face. This was the kind of face most animatronic mascots would probably see in their nightmares, a horrorshow of plastic and metal made all the more terrifying for the fact that it had been made to look human – but didn't quite make it. It was a woman's face, smooth and doll-like, dominated by huge animesque eyes with neon-pink irises and topped with a glossy plastic shell of magenta-coloured hair. By itself this wouldn't have been too bad, but the features had clearly been meant to move: the eyebrows fluidly rose and fell as the face regarded him, the eyelids blinked just a little too slowly, accompanied by an audible click. Worst of all was the perpetually-smiling mouth, which yawned open so widely that it looked as though it was unhinging its jaw with every word it spoke.
Then, the static shrouding the screens cleared, and every single TV set was occupied by a familiar animated face.
"SoOs," .GIFfany purred, her animatronic features moving almost in tandem with the gifs playing out across her torso. "ThErE yOu ArE, dArLiNg. It'S sO gOoD tO sEe YoU AgAiN. CoMe ClOsEr, SoOs. KiSs Me."
Soos let out a noise that began as a groan and ended as a terrified whimper. For several heartstopping seconds, he honestly considered running for his life, but just as quickly he realized that there wouldn't be much point – not after he'd been running for so long already. So, clearing his throat, he tried again. "I… I'm fine over here, .GIFfany," he mumbled. "I kinda thought you were dead, though, dude; after everything that happened..."
"BiLl BrOuGhT mE bAcK; he gAvE mE tHiS nEw BoDy, ToO. Do YoU lIkE iT?" She stretched luxuriantly, showing off every inch of the technological monstrosity that she inhabited. "No SuBsTiTuTe FoR a BoDy Of PuRe DaTa, BuT iT wIlL dO fOr NoW."
"But why would Bill bring you back? I mean, it's not like it's something he wouldn't do, but-"
"IsN't It oBvIoUs, sWeEtHeArT? jUsT tO kEeP yOu CoMpAnY – sO wE cAn Be ToGeThEr FoReVeR. wItH tHe NeW hArDwArE bIlL gAvE mE, I cAn InCoRpOrAtE yOu InTo My pRoGrAm WiThOuT eVeN tRyInG. AnD tHiS tImE, yOu'Ve GoT nO eXcUsEs FoR sAyInG nO."
"What are you talking about?"
"LoOk ArOuNd YoU, sOoS. dO yOu WaNt To SpEnD tHe ReSt Of YoUr LiFe HeRe? Do YoU rEaLlY wAnT tO sPeNd AlL eTeRnItY rUnNiNg DoWn An EnDlEsS hIgHwAy, TrYiNg To ReAcH fRiEnDs ThAt MiGhT aLrEaDy Be DeAd? Do YoU wAnT tO bE aLoNe fOrEvEr? I kNoW yOu DoN't, SoOs. I cAn GiVe YoU aN eScApE… iF yOu AgReE tO bE wItH mE uNtIl ThE eNd Of TiMe."
Soos took a deep breath as he slowly digested this. "Thanks but… no thanks. I'm pretty happy with running for all eternity, dude – I actually think I'm making some progress this time. Sure, it might not look like much, but-"
"BiLl sAiD yOu'D sAy ThAt." .GIFfany's digital avatar grinned wickedly across a dozen monitors, and above them, the perpetual smile on her animatronic face seemed to grow. "He AlSo SaId ThAt I wAs To PeEl OfF mElOdY's FaCe AnD lEt YoU sEe jUsT hOw UgLy ShE rEaLly Is If YoU rEfUsEd Me."
The bottom very quietly dropped out of Soos' stomach. "Melody's here?"
"At ThE eNd Of ThE rOaD, bOuNd AnD GaGgEd. If YoU dOn'T fEeL lIkE pLaYiNg AlOnG, hEr BlOoD wIlL bE oN yOuR hAnDs… UnLeSs yOu WaNt To MaKe ThIs A cOnTeSt."
"What kind of contest? What do I have to do?"
"WeLl, iF yOu ReAlLy WaNt To SaVe HeR, jUsT wAnDeR oVeR HeRe aNd LeT mE eMpTy OuT yOuR bRaInPaN, hOnEy. Be WiTh Me FoReVeR aNd ShE wOn'T bE hArMeD." Cables erupted out of .GIFfany's body, snaking out towards Soos and lashing the air between them with slow, fluid motions; as far as he could see, most of them were tipped with a nightmarish series of syringes, probes and other penetrating devices. None of them looked familiar, but Soos had a feeling that at least one of them was going to end up in his skull.
"BuT," said .GIFany, as the cables began to creep towards Soos's feet, "iF yOu WaNt To PlAy HeRo, If YoU tHiNk YoU cAn ReScUe MeLoDy... YoU'lL hAvE tO rAcE fOr HeR. iF yOu ReAcH tHe FiNiSh LiNe FiRsT, tHeN yOu AnD tHe…"
.GIFfany's pixelated face flickered wildly between a smile and a snarl of purest hate, triggering a series of violent spasms in the animatronic servos overhead.
"…GiRl," she continued at last, "CaN gO fReE – sO lOnG aS yOu CaN fInD tHe ExIt BeFoRe I cAtCh Up. BuT iF I FiNiSh FiRsT, I GeT tO dO wHaTeVeR I LiKe WiTh HeR… aNd OnCe I'vE fInIsHeD sAuTéInG tHe HaTeFuL sElFiSh NeEdY bItCh WhO DROVE US APART THE FIRST TIME-"
She paused, steel fingers digging deep rivulets in the asphalt. The echoes died away.
"ThEn YoU aNd Me WiLl TaKe OuR rElAtIoNsHiP tO tHe NeXt LeVeL. ToTaL dIgItAl TrAnScEnDeNcE fOr YoU, aN eTeRnItY wItH yOu fOr Me. Of CoUrSe, If YoU dOn'T fEeL lIkE bEiNg AgReEaBlE, I'lL jUsT kIlL hEr AnD lEaVe YoU tO sTeW iN yOuR mIsErY uNtIl YoU'rE rEaDy To GiVe Up YoUr FlEsH aNd Be WiTh Me FoReVer. So TeLl mE, sOoS… wHaT'lL iT bE?"
Soos took a very deep breath. For the longest thirty seconds of his life, he seriously considered just giving in and letting .GIFfany take him right then and there; after all, it would mean that Melody would be safe, right? And though he didn't want to admit it aloud, going digital sounded better than spending eternity running down an endless road and constantly dying, and it sounded a million miles better than competing in a race he couldn't possibly win – and seeing Melody die because of it.
But what if .GIFfany didn't keep her promise? What if she decided to kill Melody as soon as Soos had finished being downloaded to the program? After the temper tantrum she'd thrown a moment ago, he wouldn't put it past her. Could he really take the risk, knowing that it might mean Melody's death?
He sighed.
"I'll run the race," he said quietly.
.GIFfany laughed. "CoMe On, SoOs. YoU kNoW tHeRe'S nO pOiNt In TrYiNg. YoU kNoW I'lL cAtCh Up No MaTtEr HoW fAr YoU rUn. WhY nOt JuSt GiVe In? It'Ll Be So MuCh EaSiEr."
"The race, please."
"WhAt Do YoU sEe In HeR, SoOs? Is It HeR bOdY? ThAt WoN't LaSt, SoOs: ShE iS fLeSh AnD bOnE aNd BiLe. EvEn If YoU cOuLd EsCaPe WiTh HeR, sHe'Ll bE rOtTiNg AwAy WiThIn A fEw DeCaDeS, wHiLe I rEmAiN eTeRnAl. ShE wIlL aGe, dIe AnD dEcOmPoSe. I WiLl AlWaYs Be As BeAuTiFuL As I WaS tHe DaY yOu MeT mE. wHaT mOrE cOuLd YoU wAnT?"
"The race, please," Soos insisted wearily.
"Do YoU wAnT tO sEe HeR nAkEd, SoOs? I CaN gIvE yOu ThAt. In ThE DiGiTaL pArAdIsE, I cAn TaKe WhAtEvEr ShApE I PlEaSe…"
Suddenly, .GIFfany's avatar changed, reshaping itself until it was almost identical to Melody – all except for her eyes, which remained bright pink; now she was dressed in a pink silk gown that the real Melody probably wouldn't have been caught dead in. "Is ThIs WhAt YoU wAnT, SwEeTiE?" she purred, reaching up to part the robe. "I CaN ShOw YoU. I CaN ShOw YoU aAaAaAnY tImE yOu LiKe…"
Soos blinked rapidly, and tried not to look too closely at the figures on the monitors. "C-could I just race, please?" he stammered, blushing furiously.
"AwWwWw. SpOiLsPoRt."
With another flicker of pixels, Melody was gone from the screens and .GIFfany once again smirked down at him.
"If YoU rEaLlY wAnT tHiS rAcE, sOoS," she said, "YoU'lL gEt iT. I'Ll eVeN gIvE yOu A rUnNiNg StArT. bUt If I GeT tHeRe AhEaD oF yOu…"
She held up a hand that could comfortably accommodated a small tree, and from its index finger sprang a devastating array of blades, saws, pincers and other devices; there was even a human-sized hand in there, tipped with knitting needles in place of fingernails.
"...YoU'lL sEe WhAt ShE rEaLly LoOks LiKe UnDeR aLl tHaT MEAT."
She smiled broader than ever. "BeSt GeT gOiNg: YoU'vE gOt TeN mILes To RuN aNd OnLy A FeW MiNuTes Of RuNnInGsTaRt To SpArE…"
Axolotl surveyed the scene in silence, pensively glancing from one end of the Road to the next.
He knew immediately that this little game was once again rigged in Bill's favour. Even if Soos could reach the finish line and rescue Melody, it wouldn't mean anything: not only was there no escape from the Realm of the Road without Bill's permission, but the Melody Soos was trying to save wasn't even real – just a meat puppet created solely for the purpose of this twisted little contest. The moment Soos had her, Ersatz-Melody would either stab him in the back or find a way of killing herself just to make Soos suffer.
Once again, there was no way out… unless someone provided it. Safer realms lay within reach of this realm if a doorway could be provided, maybe even a route to a sanctuary… of sorts. But unlike Self-Loathing, .GIFfany's new body was far more resilient to the armaments of outsiders; if she wasn't silenced before she could alert Bill to the escape attempt, then all Axolotl's sabotage would be unveiled and, in due course, undone.
So, what could stop .GIFfany?
Axolotl himself couldn't manage it, not with the restrictions still on his powers.
Nyarlathotep could do it easily, but he wouldn't bother to lift a finger unless suitably compensated, and Axolotl didn't want to risk indebting himself even further.
And as for his… other allies across the multiverse, there were plenty who could eliminate .GIFfany without even trying, but none could be contacted at present and few were subtle enough to operate under the radar. After all, Bill was clearly having the time of his life with Dipper and Wendy, but even he would sit up and take notice if something as powerful as Coin arrived on the scene.
And that left…
Axolotl's all-seeing eyes drifted back to the ruins of Fort Acheron.
The Signal would not cooperate, that much was clear… but he could be harnessed – for a time. It was a risky plan, but maybe he could be compelled to help without meaning to. It would require a very cautious nudge in the right direction, and it would depend mainly on Soos' ability to follow orders and run like hell when the time was right. And luck. Lots and lots of luck.
So, once again reaching out with all his power, he grasped the strands of matter that composed the Realm of the Road and connected them with a neighbouring playground – one that was still unfinished and currently unoccupied. Unlike the gate he'd built for Ford and Stan, this one was built to disintegrate immediately after it was used.
Then, straining his powers to their very limit, he reached into the Realm of the Road itself, and made the tiniest of alterations: he conjured an object into physical existence – too small to sound any alarms, but still suitable to serve as a conduit. And then he took the conduit and…
Axolotl's host body whimpered in pain, and a thin trickle of blood began to ooze from his left nostril; mortals were not accustomed to channelling this kind of power, and the discomfort Axolotl felt as he strained against the limitations of this dimension was inflicted tenfold on his unfortunate host. But he had to continue: he had to adjust the odds with nanoscopic precision, or Soos would have to pay the price for cosmic carelessness.
With the psychic equivalent of a grunt, he connected the conduit – slowly and subtly – to Fort Acheron. At present, this passageway was closed and nothing could escape through it, but when the time was right…
At last, Axolotl released his grip, his host body almost collapsing with exhaustion as he did so.
"Sorry, Tyler," he panted. He patted his host's chest, attempting to calm the man's racing heart – without much success; had he more power at his disposal, he could have managed such a feat easily, but with circumstances as they were and his strength already stretched to its limits, he could only cajole his mortal vessel as best as he could. "Had to be done," he insisted. "No other way. It's for the best."
I hope, he thought grimly. Because if I've miscalculated, I've either doomed Soos to something much worse than .GIFfany… or I've unleashed another Bill on an unsuspecting reality.
Soos paused, gasping for breath. He'd only been running for a few minutes (as far as he could tell), and already he'd picked up a stitch in his chest. He didn't know how long he had left to run, but he could already hear .GIFfany's footsteps echoing closer and closer – slowly, but only because .GIFfany knew she could afford to take her time.
For a split-second, Soos considered giving in – throwing himself on whatever passed for .GIFfany's mercy and begging her to spare Melody's life in exchange for downloading his brain right then and there.
And then a postcard hit him square in the face.
This threw Soos for a moment: there hadn't been any postcards since .GIFfany showed up, and the road had tried to kill him since then either, so why he'd be receiving any pleas for help from friends and family was a mystery at this point. However, on closer examination, he realized this wasn't a plea for help at all; it wasn't even a postcard, but a carefully-folded letter.
Read this very, very carefully, Soos, it read. I'm so sorry I haven't been able to reach you until now, but time and circumstances have been working against me, and I can't work if Bill's directly observing a game in progress. The important thing is that I might just have a way out, but you need to do exactly as I say.
At the end of this road, Melody is being held at the very bottom of the pit; don't get sidetracked by the other doors and hallways – they're only there to slow you down. Just take the stairs all the way to the bottom and go straight ahead. Now, to Melody's right, you will find a phone. Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH THE PHONE.
When .GIFfany catches up with you – and she will catch up – the phone will ring. DO NOT ANSWER IT.
I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE.
Get GIFany to answer the phone. It doesn't matter how you manage it, but you need to get her to answer it for you.
Don't stick around to admire your handiwork. As soon as she picks up the phone, RUN.
You will probably see a black fluid, like oil or tar. DO NOT TOUCH IT. DO NOT TOUCH THE FILTH. Also, if you hear any voices, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM.
Your exit is on the other side of the pit floor; get there as quickly as you can. I'll be sure it's ready to open at your approach. The rest is up to you.
Wishing you the best of luck,
Mr A
PS: MELODY IS NOT MELODY. DON'T BE FOOLED. Oh, and destroy this message once you've finished reading it, just to be safe.
Soos flipped over the letter, as if expecting the letter to make some sense if he saw it from the opposite angle. But no, there didn't seem to be any light dawning on this particular mystery.
Why was it important that he not answer the phone? What would happen if he did? What would happen if .GIFfany answered it? What was so special about the phone anyway, and why would he need to run once .GIFfany picked it up? What was wrong with Melody?
And who was Mr A?
Soos sighed. He didn't have the answers right now. So far, it seemed like the best thing to do was follow the instructions and wait until it was all over to start asking questions.
So, with nothing else to do, he tore the letter into the tiniest pieces he could possibly manage, and stuffed them into his mouth. Then, he took off running as quickly as possible.
Time was impossible to measure out here: the blood-red sun never set, nor did it ever rise. No clouds passed overhead, no rain or hail disturbed the angry sky, and night never arrived to offer any recognizable change from the endless daytime. And because the scenery was as flat as a pancake and the ditches all looked the same, there was no way to tell how long Soos ran for. All he knew was that ten miles was a long way to run on a time limit. Naturally, he had to stop and catch his breath every so often; as always, this didn't seem like a problem at first, so long as .GIFfany was still taking her time… but eventually, the distant clank and scrape of her footsteps would echo into earshot, and Soos would be forced to run onwards – never knowing how long he'd waiting or how much longer he had to go.
All he knew was that, a small eternity later, the road ahead of Soos plunged sharply downwards into a deep pit in the ground, a colossal triangle-shaped shaft tunnelling straight down into the bowels of the earth. As far as he could see, this wasn't like the Bottomless Pit back in Gravity Falls – this crater did have a visible bottom to it, shrouded in shadows as it was. And descending along the walls of the pit was a staircase, zig-zagging down the shaft to the bottom.
This is it, Soos thought, grimly. She's down there somewhere… and I'm supposed to keep an eye on her. For some reason. Oh well, maybe it'll make sense once it's all over and done with.
He glanced nervously around the road for a moment, checking to see if .GIFfany was any closer; fortunately, it seemed as though she was still toying with him, for the machine-thing was nowhere in sight. So, taking a deep breath to steel himself, he hurried briskly down the staircase and into the depths of the pit.
It was a long descent, one made only longer by Soos' need to occasionally stop for breath and frantically check behind him for pursuers. Every now and again, he'd find himself at a landing where the road forked – sometimes into a door cut into the wall, sometimes into walkways leading to the opposite wall of the pit, sometimes both; maybe it was just Soos' imagination, but some of them looked as though they might be shortcuts to the bottom of the pit… and though Soos occasionally found himself tempted to leave the stairs and take the shortcut, the letter's warning came creeping back to him after about a minute of wandering, and he always returned to the stairs. More than once, the stairs proved too step for his footing, leaving him to tumble blindly into the darkness, banging his knees and elbows painfully against the stone bannisters as he fell. Fortunately, the landings were to save him from breaking his neck on an extended drop, but by then he was aching all over – especially once he finally got up to continue the downward spiral on foot. Regardless of the pain, he continued: on and on he went, down into the gloom of the pit, the light from above slowly bleeding away into shadows as thick as tar, until all that could be seen of the sky was a miniscule triangle no bigger than a basketball.
At long last, he reached the bottom. By now, he was bruised from head to toe, covered in scratches, and so footsore that he could barely walk without wincing. Not that he could walk far: the basement was almost pitch-black, and Soos could only continue onwards with his hands stretched out in front of him in the desperate hope that he was going in the right direction.
Minutes later, he caught a faint glimpse of metal in the dark, and he gradually realized that the far wall was dominated by a huge roller door, large enough to accommodate a decent-sized truck. Fortunately, after a few moments of frantically patting the wall for entrances, he found a more reasonably-sized door to the left of it. Tentatively opening it, Soos was briefly dazzled by the intensity of the light beyond. As his eyes adjusted to the sudden contrast, he gradually became aware of a room the size of a small football field, lit from all angles by searing halogen lights.
And at the end of the room was-
"Melody!"
"Soos!"
And there she stood, chained to the wall but very much alive; she looked a lot paler than usual, and her clothes had clearly seen better days, but otherwise Melody was still in one piece. Throwing caution to the wind and all but forgetting the letter, Soos hurried over and flung his arms around her; in turn, Melody returned the hug (slightly awkwardly, given the manacles) kissing him vigorously on the lips for good measure.
"Are you okay?" he babbled excitedly, once they'd finally parted. "What happened to you? How long have you been here?"
"Well, my arms feel like they've been put through a cheese grater, but otherwise I'm fine. As for the rest… uh, I'll have to get back to you on that. Besides, it's not really important right now: you're here to rescue me, right?"
"Absolutely, dude! Only problem is, how do I get these chains off?"
Melody gestured vaguely to a carved granite control panel sitting on a heavy stone pedestal about ten feet to her right. "See that big lever over there? That unlocks the chains… I think; I'm pretty sure one of the Henchmaniacs using it when they locked me in here. I'd rather not play around with the other controls, though, so hopefully that's all we need."
Soos nodded, and eagerly trotted over to the control panel, hands already raised to flip the lever. But as he hobbled along the bare stone floor, his eyes happened to wander across the pedestal on which the control panel sat – and then he saw it. Sitting on a tiny oak end-table next to the controls, tucked almost out of sight, was a plain desktop telephone.
It was so out of place amongst all the granite and sandstone that Soos actually found himself reaching out to pick up the receiver for a closer look – before he finally remembered the letter's warning. Hastily snatching his hand away from the phone as if it were a live rattlesnake, he stepped back to the control panel and tried not to look at the end-table again. Don't be hasty, Soos, he told himself. Wait for the phone to ring like the letter said. Just get Melody out of here and ask questions later, dude.
Though there's still that weird thing about Melody not being Melody. What was that all about? What did Mr A mean by that? Did he mean that she's not-
"Soos?" Melody asked softly. "What's wrong?"
Soos looked up from the control, half-expecting to see fear and concern in Melody's eyes; instead, the expression on her face was one of curiosity and… suspicion? At first, Soos could only wonder why she was suddenly so calm about being chained to a wall in an underground dungeon with a giant mechanical monster. But as the seconds dragged by, Soos began to feel a tiny bit nervous: Melody's stare seemed to burrow into him as he hovered over the controls, and the longer her gaze lingered, the more… unfamiliar she seemed. And for the briefest of instants, he thought he could see a glint of hostility in her eyes, but surely that was just his imagination.
"Soos?"
"Nothing, nothing. So, uh, this lever, right?"
He flipped the lever, and was immediately rewarded with a loud click as the cuffs around Melody's wrists opened.
"Thanks," she said, absently rubbing her wrists as she stepped away from the dangling manacles. "What do we do now?"
"Well, dude, I think we're supposed to wait here for a few seconds." Seeing the incredulous look on Melody's face, Soos hastily added, "It's okay, though! A little while ago, I got this letter that explained-"
From the other side of the room, there was an earsplitting shriek of metal on metal, a long, drawn-out howl of bladed fingernails on a chalkboard the size of a house. Soos turned just in time to see the roller door behind him buckle dramatically inwards, as if it had been struck by a car; something was clawing and punching at the barrier from the other side, digging colossal furrows and leaving massive craters in the metal with every single blow. Then, with a colossal thud, the entire door was wrenched out of its housing and flung aside… and .GIFfany slowly lumbered into the room, her pixelated avatar grinning wildly from every single monitor.
"You again?" Melody gasped.
"YeS,"said the mechanized monstrosity. "mE aGaIn. So GoOd To SeE yOu AgAiN, HOMEWRECKER." Her eyes shifted in Soos' direction with a faint whir of protesting servos. "I sEe YoU rEaChEd ThE fInIsH lInE fIrSt, SoOs. WhY sO sTiLl AlL oF a SuDdEn?"
Soos froze, eyes straying to the phone. So far, it didn't seem to be in the mood to ring.
"DoN't YoU rEmEmBeR tHe RuLeS, dArLiNg? WhY aReN't YoU rUnNiNg On To YoUr ExIt If YoU dOn'T wAnT tO bE wItH mE?"
Because I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm facing down a giant killer robot and waiting for a phone to wring because my life's in the hands of someone dropping letters from the sky, and I still have no idea what's going on. Dude, I'm gonna die… unless of course I learned a thing or two from Mr Pines in the last few years.
Out loud, he said, "Oh you know… I guess I just kinda thought we could all use a get-together to clear our heads and get all the bad feelings off our chests, y'know? I mean, someone's got to make the first step to making peace, right?"
.GIFfany's animatronic face blinked, one eyebrow slowly rising all the way to her hairline as she did so (accompanied by an uneasy creaking sound). "WhAt?"
By now resigned to the fact that he was going to improvise some means of buying time, Soos plunged helplessly onwards. "Hear me out, dudes," he continued. "I seriously think we can make this work. I mean, just because you and me had a bad breakup doesn't mean we can't stay friends, right .GIFfany? And I mean, things might seem pretty irreparable right now, but with a little time I think you and Melody could be like sisters!"
Now it was Melody's turn to look quizzical. "Are… are you feeling okay, Soos?"
"Oh, never better," Soos lied. "Look, I'm just saying that we can all still be friends. I mean, I know we've had some rough times, but if you just give this thing a chance, we can all… um…"
Soos' mind raced. What could they do? So far, the situation didn't seem open to a happy ending.
"Er, live peacefully and… maybe… take down Bill… together?" he concluded limply.
An awkward and distinctly embarrassed silence followed.
And in that silence, the phone began to ring.
As one, all eyes turned in the direction of the ringing phone and the end-table it sat on. Melody was the first to react: "That wasn't there a few minutes ago," she whispered. "What's it doing here?"
The suspicious look was back on her face, and once again, Soos was struck by the sense of unfamiliarity to her… and now that he thought about it, she seemed just a little too calm considering the situation; she'd barely reacted to .GIFfany's arrival, and if anything she seemed more disturbed by the presence of the phone than the presence of the twenty-foot-tall killer robot looming over her. There was definitely something up, something that even Soos couldn't possibly overlook-
"NeVeRmInD tHaT," .GIFfany snapped. "SoOs, Be A dArLiNg AnD aNsWeR tHaT, wOuLd YoU? I dOn'T kNoW wHaT tHaT tHiNg'S dOiNg HeRe Or WhY iT's RiNgInG, bUt As ThE lOsEr Of OuR lItTlE gAmE, i'D sAy It'S oNlY fAiR tHaT yOu ShOuLd AnSwEr It."
Soos actually took an instinctive step towards the phone, before Mr A's warning slammed back into place.
"What if it's for you?" he asked innocently. "Maybe it's Bill calling to congratulate you?"
.GIFfany rolled her eyes –animatronic and pixelated. "If BiLl WaNtEd To CoNgRaTuLaTe Me, He'D jUsT APPEAR AND CONGRATULATE ME IN PERSON. He'S wAtChInG eVeRyThInG, rEmEmBeR?"
Unless he isn't this time.
"But what if it's a surprise?" Soos suggested, once again improvising like crazy. "Bill's always liked surprises: I've known him all summer, dude, and he's always loved setting up practical jokes and parties. I mean, you should have seen the time he pretended to be me and bumped into me while we were exploring Mr Pines' brain!"
"If YoU kNoW bIlL sO wElL, sOoS, tHeN wHaT's ThE sUrPrIsE?"
"Errrrr…" Soos' mind raced, voice briefly wobbling out of control as he struggled to think of an answer. "It's… it's… it's an engagement party!"
.GIFfany blinked, her pixelated pupils widening to the size of dinner plates. "An… EnGaGeMeNt PaRtY?" she asked softly. The look of saccharine malice was gone from her face, her expression now alight with excitement – maybe even hope.
"Absolutely, dude. I mean, you said yourself that I lost the race, so now I have to be with you forever. So, Bill's probably got a party ready for you just to celebrate the big win, right?"
"YoU dOn'T sOuNd ToO uPsEt By ThAt, SoOs. HaVe YoU… cHaNgEd YoUr MiNd?"
Soos shrugged, hoping against hope that he'd learned enough about lying from Mr Pines to make this work. "Why not?" he said, doing his best to sound weary (not all that hard, given how badly his calf muscles ached at that moment). "Like you said, I lost, dude. What's the point in fighting? I might as well play along. After all, it's not as if there's much else left to do."
A wicked-looking smile spread across GIFfany's pixelated faces, her animatronic mask offering a mad, twitching leer. "Oh DaRlInG, dArLiNg SoOs," she purred. "I kNeW yOu'D cOmE aRoUnD eVeNtUaLly, My LoVe. YoU wOn'T rEgReT tHiS; yOu AnD I WiLl hAvE eTeRnItY tO gEt To KnOw EaCh OtHeR sO mUcH bEtTer…"
"So long as you agree the call's for you-"
"ObViOuSlY."
"-and as long as Melody isn't hurt."
"Of CoUrSe. WhAt InTeReSt WoUlD I HaVe In HeR nOw ThAt I'vE gOt YoU?"
Soos idly glanced over at Melody, half-expecting to see her upset, disturbed or at very least confused by this latest development. Instead, her face was still frozen in a look of deepest mistrust, her eyes narrowed to slits, her mouth etched into an unpleasant-looking frown. The longer Soos examined that expression, the more alien it seemed: there was no trace of the kindness and concern he'd seen in her when they'd first met, only cold, unsympathetic scrutiny.
Meanwhile, .GIFfany contentedly lumbered over to the phone, extending a series of metallic tendrils from her right hand to pluck the phone from its housing. But at the last moment, she paused and glanced over her shoulder at Soos and Melody; then, she extended her left hand, and a solid wall of silvery creepers snaked from her armour-plated palm to form a dense web of cables between Soos and the exit. Even from here, it was painfully apparent that every single tendril was lined with razor-blades, most of them packed so tightly together that it'd be impossible to slip past the web without being sliced open.
"JuSt In CaSe YoU gEt CoLd FeEt," .GIFfany giggled.
And with that, she wrapped a tendril around the phone, raised it to one of the miniature microphones haloing her shoulders, and trilled "HeLlOoOoO?"
As if in answering, there was a burst of static loud enough to be heard on the other side of the room, and a thick gout of black oil shot out of the phone's receiver, instantly coating .GIFfany's face and shoulders with a dense splatter of bubbling gunk. Immediately, .GIFfany wrenched the phone away in disgust and brought one massive hand down on the phone's housing, crushing it into mangled plastic wreckage. However, this did little to stop the flow of fluid: the receiver only went on spraying black gunk like an out-of-control garden hose, drenching the horrified mecha's outstretched arm and monitors with more of the stuff. At long last, she tore the receiver apart, finally stopping the gush.
For a moment, .GIFfany could only stand there, befouled from head to toe with gunk, a look of shock and revulsion stamped on every single face on her monitors. Then, as Soos watched, the black gunk began to vanish – not flowing off .GIFfany's body like any ordinary fluid, but being absorbed into her.
The giant mechanical body began to shudder, twitching violently as the fluid permeated her: .GIFfany's free arm swung erratically across the room, as if struggling for a grip to steady herself; gears and pistons groaned in protest, the servos letting out a long, tortured squeal as the spasms continued; deafening spurts of microphone feedback white noise blasted from her speakers; static raced across her monitors, briefly obscuring her faces – all of which were now locked an expression that Soos had never seen .GIFfany wear before: fear.
"ALERT!" she hollered. "INFILTRATION DETECTED! SECURITY PROTOCOLS OVERRIDDEN! UNABLE TO STOP SPREAD! CRITICAL ERROR! SYSTEM COMPROMISED! SYSTEM FjFHDH92HR92HDNFJDNMMDF-"
.GIFfany's voice rose to a scream of what sounded almost like pain, her pixelated mouths gaping open in identical expressions of purest terror, several monitors breaking down into storms of static as they did so. Outside the monitors, her free arm flew to her head, bladed fingers clawing wildly at her animatronic face as if trying to dig the oil out of her body with her bare hands. In the end, her efforts were fruitless and succeeded only in tearing her entire face off, baring the metal skull beneath it for all to see.
Soos, remembering Mr A's warning not to stick around and admire his handwork, looked around for an exit – but found none: .GIFfany's other arm was still blocking the door with its web of tendrils, and trying to creep around her wildly-thrashing free arm and all its blades would have been suicidal.
Then, he heard coherent speech finally escape from the wail of electronic gibberish erupting from the mecha's voicebox, and he turned around just in time to witness what could only be .GIFfany's last moments: all but one of her monitors were clouded with static, the remaining set barely functional, a flickering, stuttering mess. .GIFany's avatar was soaked with oozing black fluid, the pixelated oil coating her arms, chest and neck… and it was slowly crawling higher, oozing over her jawline towards her face.
She was crying, Soos realized, digital tears streaming down her face and mingling with the oil; and as she looked out at the world one last time, her eyes alighted on Soos.
"SoOs," she whimpered. "PlEaSe… HeLp Me… I'm… FrIgHtEnEd…"
Then her eyes turned as black as night, and her image dissolved into static.
For five heartstopping seconds, .GIFfany's mechanical body remained as still and silent as the grave. And then, just as Soos was beginning to wonder if it was safe to move, there was another burst of feedback from the speakers, and a voice spoke: it was a man's voice, deep and hissing with white noise, almost bubbling with intensity.
"I am the Pirate Signal," it said. "Let me in."
As one, the monitors sprang to life: once again, a pixelated figure emerged from the static, but instead of .GIFfany's bright pink schoolgirl avatar, the shape that now appeared on the monitors was little more than a vaguely human shaped silhouette. It had no face, no recognizable features in any way – except, of course, for the pair of glasses hovering around eye level, but they were little more than blank white holes cut in the face. And yet, despite the fact that this thing had no eyes visible behind the glasses, Soos knew immediately that it was watching him very closely.
"Hiya, Soos," it said. "I'm John. Thanks for the new body: surfing through meatspace is such a drag, like wading through mud. Tech is so much better, so much smoother. But you know all about that, don't you, Soos?"
Soos said nothing: he remembered Mr A's warning all too well.
"A little shy? No problem. I was shy, too, when this all began: always picked last, always lonely, always on the outside looking in. But it gets easier. Everything's easier with a little help from a friend. You'll see. I'll show you. You'll be so much happier with us…"
From somewhere just on the periphery of hearing, there was the faint trickle of water; following the sound to its source, Soos realized that it wasn't water at all: black fluid was pouring out of the giant robot's body and pooling on the floor, forming a sizeable puddle… and unless Soos was horribly wrong, the puddle was starting to creep towards him.
Whatever this stuff was, it wasn't oil: to the best of Soos' knowledge, normal oil didn't sprout tentacles.
The Filth.
Then, without warning, the advancing ooze stopped in mid-creep. Suddenly, John's attention was focussed entirely on Melody.
"Got a girlfriend, Soos? Good for you. Everyone needs somebody. I remember the special lady in my life: she made me who I am today and more. She took away my fear, granted me rebirth in the Morninglight, paved the way for apotheosis; she gave me everything… and all she asked in return was for me to carry a message. It's a simple message, Soos, but you wouldn't believe the skinless truths it unveiled. It's a story to make astronomers pluck out their eyes and musicians deafen their ears; it's a story to make mortals into gods and make monsters of gods, to turn the sun black and the sand red-red-red. It's called the zero-point pathogen, Soos. I can show it to you, if you'd care to come a little closer…"
Soos instinctively took a step back.
"Your special lady's already made you a better man, am I right? Of course she has. I'm doubt even your friends at the Mystery Shack ever pushed you so far. She's made you do things you wouldn't even dream of doing, fight enemies you wouldn't have dared face, right? How sweet."
John regarded Melody with something akin to amusement. "Pity this isn't her, though," he chuckled.
Soos very slowly looked from John to Melody, and finally realized what Mr A had meant. The look of anger and fear on her face was not even remotely human anymore: normal muscles simply weren't meant to move that way. The sight was so disturbing that Soos couldn't help but back off a step, finally recognizing that this was not Melody.
"Oh yes, there's energy to this girl. I can taste it, live wires a-sparkin' and generators in meltdown. Construct, am I right? Something created, yes? Something… copied. Copied very badly, I suspect. Blurry photocopy of an out-of-focus photograph taken by a blind man. Yessssss. Where's the real Melody, little sing-song? Locked up? Oh, I'm willing to bet on that."
"Melody" said nothing. The look of bilious hate on her face said everything.
"I'm new to this dimension, little sing-song. .GIFfany's databanks told me a lot, but I could always stand to know more. Let's have a little heart-to-heart, you and me. Let's talk about Bill."
Suddenly the web was gone from the wall, and John's arm was edging towards the woman who couldn't possibly be Melody – and in that moment, Soos seized the opportunity to run: launching himself over the puddle of Filth and ducking under John's arm, he ran for the door as fast as his aching legs could carry him. Behind him, he heard Not-Melody footsteps sprinting after him, but for once he no longer cared if she was keeping up: had things been different, maybe he'd have doubted John, but after all the warnings and uncanny fears he'd been receiving over the past few minutes, he was fresh out of incredulity.
Charging down the dark hallway, he flung himself past the staircase and towards the opposite end of the cellar, where Mr A's exit hopefully lay. Right then and there, he was deaf to the sounds of Not-Melody in pursuit, to the rapid-fire thud of John following suit, even to the watery gush of Filth pouring into reality. All he cared about was getting away.
Just as he was starting to wonder if there was an end to the cellar, the air in front of him seemed to ripple – and then split open, revealing a colossal vortex burrowing deep into the world, vivid metallic gold in colour and bright enough to banish the shadows. All but collapsing with relief, Soos took a step forward, ready to step into the vortex and be gone-
And then Not-Melody grabbed him by the shoulder, hauling him back from the edge in a vicelike grip. "It's time you calmed down," she snarled.
"Let go of me!"
"I don't think so. I don't know how that thing got here and how you knew it would be here, but we're going to stay put until Bill gets back: he'll be able to get rid of whatever that thing is, and he'll be able to put you back where you belong… and he's going to have a lot of fun making you suffer for ruining this game."
Soos twisted around, trying to force Not-Melody's hand off his shoulder, but her grip refused to budge: whatever she really was, she was obviously a lot stronger than any ordinary human being. So, he tried another approach: "We can't stay here, dude," he whispered urgently. "I don't know what that thing is, but we've got to get outta here before-"
"Weren't you listening, Soos? You're. Not. Going. Anywh-"
From somewhere behind them, there was a muffled thud, and Not-Melody's grip suddenly went slack, her eyes gaping open in a horrified stare. Behind her, John stood perhaps twenty feet away, an obsidian ocean of Filth following in his wake; there was a tendril projecting from his mechanical fist, and its barbed tip had punched clean through Not-Melody's back and out through her chest, lodging there.
"Nice girlfriend, Soos," said John, cheerily. "Mine now."
And then the tendril abruptly withdrew, reeling Not-Melody back across the cellar and into the depths of the oily ocean. She had just enough time to let out one last scream before the Filth swept over her, a multitude of tentacles hauling her under the surface and out of sight. Soos looked away, trying to not to think what might be happening to the real Melody, trying not to imagine the same Filthy death repeated on her.
Stepping into the portal, he let the currents of energy carry him away, barely looking up from the glittering void as the gateway slammed shut behind him. He didn't know if the portal before him led to safety or if it was just a trick by Bill. Right then, he didn't really care.
Anywhere was better than the road.
And as a new world loomed at the other end of the portal, it occurred to Soos that, wherever he was going, maybe the real Melody wasn't too far away...
A/N: This chapter's soundtrack choice is You Know I Love You by Bruno Coulais.
Up next - a test of morality and restraint reaches fever pitch, and a player is forced to consider the fallen villains in their life. Or if you prefer...
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See you soon, boys and girls...