Authors Note: Well, this chapter is the last for the 'introduction' arc. Next chapter onward we will delving into ShadowTown.
"How was your day?"
Shiori didn't want to admit, but she flinched a little when Emi called out to her in a tone that seemed to demand an answer.
She had only just entered the dorms after the school day had finished, and she wasn't even going to be given a respite. Her entire day had been spent doing her very best to avoid any unfortunate encounters with her dormmates, she had even taken a longer route on the way home than what she had taken getting to school just to keep away from them. Everything had been done with the intention of avoiding them, and even then it hadn't been enough.
The main floor's lounge had been so silent that she had thought she was the first one to get back, or at the very least the others were busy in their own rooms. What a silly, hopeful thought. She had only gotten halfway through the lounge on her way to the stairs when she had been called out.
On the couch was where Emi sat, posture as straight as if she had a metal rod for a spine, legs crossed, and reading a book. "Did you have a good first day?" Emi didn't smile as she lowered the book to give Shiori a leveled look. Something about her made Shiori wonder if she ever did smile, or if her face was stuck in a permanent frown. But, she did put her book down and pat her hand against the spot beside her on the couch in an unspoken invitation—demand?—to join her. "I can understand if it was hard, it's a difficult thing moving from one school to a new one. If you need any help settling in, do feel free to ask."
Shiori knew that Emi wasn't trying to be friends with her, had no intention to, she was just being polite to a child because that's what was expected. Everything she said was done with a curt attitude and a cold distance that kept people at an arm's length away. What Shiori couldn't seem to understand was why Emi was talking to her. Out of everyone in the dorm, Shiori had assumed that Emi would be the easiest to avoid. Assumed that she would just ignore Shiori so long as Shiori didn't cause any problems.
So, why wasn't she ignoring her? Why was she instead trying to strike up a conversation? What was her angle, did she think she'd get something out of playing nice to a little kid?
Shiori kept her mouth in a firm frown, not making any move to get closer to the older girl. If Emi thought she could get Shiori to trust and play nice so easily just because she was being polite, then Emi was wrong. "It's none of your business," she answered with a sour grumble, hand over the strap of her bag and gripping it tightly as she glared at her.
But Emi was proving surprising, as she was apparently just as infuriatingly persistent as Takahiro was. She didn't let it go and go back to her book, instead she quirked the corners of her lips up into something that could almost be called a smile. It was a clear sign she was amused by Shiori's hostility. What the Hell? You weren't supposed to find it funny that someone hated you!
"You're right, it really is none of my business," Emi answered, her tone holding a chuckle as she finally looked away from Shiori and picked her book up again, returning to the pages before her.
Taking this as her cue to go, Shiori was about to continue to the stairs but once again, Emi had to stop her.
"I received a small number of cookies today from some fellow students," Shiori rolled her eyes, probably from boys who had hopeless crushes on her, hoping to win her over with sweets and being denied by an obvious ice queen. Way to go, Emi, congratulations on getting free cookies because you're pretty. You're not even that pretty. "I've left them in the kitchen, please help yourself to as many as you like."
Emi glanced over her book and tilted her head towards the communal kitchen.
Shiori scowled and narrowed her eyes suspiciously—or she would if they weren't already narrowed in a glare—at Emi before glancing over to the kitchen. She glanced back at Emi and held her stare for a few seconds, debating her choices before her.
On one hand, if she went in there, that would be similar to her admitting defeat to the teenager, she might start getting ideas that Shiori actually liked her, or that she could be bought with cookies. But on the other hand… free cookies were free cookies, and Emi said that she could have as many of them as she liked. Now, she could be extra spiteful and just take them all, but then that just might make the others come bothering her to scold her or yell at her for not sharing.
She whirled around on her feet in a quick turn, feeling the defeat deep inside of her as she stormed into the kitchen space. Even without looking, she felt as if Emi was watching her and laughing to herself. Maybe Emi wasn't, maybe she wasn't capable of mocking others, but that didn't mean the feeling Shiori felt was going away.
When she reached the kitchen, she decided that she liked Emi even less than she already did.
"A 'small number'? What a load of garbage," Shiori hissed with grimaced after pulling the small stool over to the counter so she could see the top. There were cookies, alright. A good few dozen or so. Chocolate chip, M&M, maca-something cookies, frosted and unfrosted sugar cookies… all kinds of them. No doubt there had probably been love letters attached to each and every bag.
She grabbed a small plate from one of the cabinets under the counter and filled it with a small mix of cookies. She even snagged a couple of sodas from the fridge and stuffed them into her backpack to hide. She wasn't supposed to drink more than one can a day, but she was feeling spiteful—when was she not?—and was taking two for herself. She didn't care if the others here got mad at her for it, and the only person whose opinion actually mattered to her—well she wasn't ever going to get to see her again. Whose fault was that? Takahiro's, of course.
With her plate full of treats and her bag full of drinks, Shiori finally made her way back up to her room. Emi gave her a nod of acknowledgment but didn't look up from her book this time. Thank God for that.
Unfortunately, luck was not on her side at all that day. As she was reaching the stairs to go up to her floor, Takahiro had begun walking down them. His face lit up like the sun when he caught sight of her. "Shiori!" he greeted, quickly descending the last few steps as he made his way towards her.
With her path back to her room blocked by her brother, whom Shiori had no intention of letting touch her, she had no choice but to retreat back into the lounge.
He was still dressed in the middle school uniform, showing that he had either only just gotten back to the dorms a short while ago, or was just hadn't gotten around to changing into something else like Emi had. She didn't want to ask which it was or know at all for that matter, and didn't even respond to his greeting as he caught up to her and followed behind like an unwanted shadow.
"Hello again, Shiokawa-san," Emi greeted him, barely batting an eyelash at the siblings, or responding at all to Shiori's obvious need to get away from him. Takahiro gave her a polite, stuttered response as he kept following close behind Shiori.
Maybe if she kept ignoring him, he'd go away? That was her plan, at least. So Shiori climbed onto the couch closest to the television on the wall, and after a few seconds of searching for the remote, turned it on and flipped the channel before settling on one.
"Blue Swan! We have to go, now!" Red Hawk yelled, to no avail.
It was an episode of Phoenix Ranger Featherman Victory, a rerun of an episode she had seen before. She had seen this episode a lot of times in fact. Kaede had made sure to record a lot of episodes of Featherman V, so that Shiori would have things she could watch while Kaede was at school or work. Maybe watching the same episode over and over again was boring for others, but not for Shiori, especially not when it was a favorite episode of hers.
On-screen, Pink Argus and Red Hawk were trying desperately to get Blue Swan to come with them as the room they were in crumbled, that the revenge he wanted wasn't worth dying for.
It was always such a powerful episode, a tense scene, no matter how many times she saw this episode, she always felt the anticipation for whether Blue Swan would return to the group, or stay in the temple as it fell apart, unable to let go of his hate.
She took one of the sodas from her bag and placed it on the coffee table, already munching on a peanut butter cookie, pretending that neither Takahiro or Emi were in the same room as her. If she focused on the show, she could just pretend she was here alone, maybe even pretend Kaede was with her still.
It'd be much easier to do so if Takahiro would just take a hint and go away, or at the very least, not talk.
"Featherman Victory? It's really good, though I preferred the Featherman R series. Episode 25: The Shadow's Half-Smile always gets me," Takahiro grinned as he stood behind her, leaning on the back of the couch. He was too close so Shiori scooted over a little just to put a little more space between them. Shut up, Takahiro, she didn't care about him and his stupid likes.
Instead of saying any of that, Shiori kept quiet. She didn't even need to look at him to know that he had that stupid, hopeful smile of his, that he was wearing an awfully desperate look on his ugly face. He still didn't take a hint and kept talking. "Was your first day of school any good? Kagami is so much different from any of the ones we'd been to before, but I'm sure you'll come to like it."
She didn't answer, trying to focus only on the show. She watched as the temple floor began to collapse, creating a gaping chasm between Blue Swan and the rest of the team, a representation of the rift that had developed between them over the last few episodes. The sacred relic was just farther in the temple, Blue Swan could easily run to it, and with it, he'd have the power to destroy their arch enemy once and for all, take revenge for his mother's death. But the cost… would it be worth it?
"Right, right," Takahiro agreed with a grating laugh that pulled her from the show. "It'll take some getting used to, but I'm sure that you'll be the most popular kid in your grade before you know it!"
Taking a sip of her soda to hide her grimace, Shiori wanted to throw the can at him so badly. Of course, he would think she wanted to be popular, that she wanted everyone watching her and gawking at her. That was the last thing Shiori wanted, she just wanted to be left alone. Was Emi watching this? Was she getting a kick out of this sad display of 'family'?
"I couldn't find you during lunch today," Takahiro was still talking and she glanced at him to see that nervous smile playing his lips. "I understand that you were probably busy eating with the other kids, and I understand. But… I'd really like it if we could eat together, not all the time since I know you'd rather eat with friends, but, but maybe once or twice a week we could have lunch together? Just you and me?"
The temple collapsed, the other Feathermen barely making it out in time. They stared in silent horror and grief at the pile of rubble and dust, at where their friend had been. Yellow Owl fell to her knees with Pink Argus laying a comforting hand on her shoulder, Black Condor was screaming and kicking at the rubble, unable to accept what was before him, while Red Hawk just stared in silent acceptance.
Takahiko was looking at her with such a pitiful, hopeful expression. She almost felt sorry for him, almost. "No."
The look of absolute heartbreak that crossed his face, she might have felt guilty if she allowed herself to feel it. But she couldn't afford to feel guilty about how she treated him, everything she did and said he deserved.
"Right… right…" Takahiro mumbled in defeat, a tone of acceptance that matched the stare Red Hawk gave the temple ruins. Her decision, it wasn't something he could change, it was something he had to live with and accept. She knew that he would be trying again later to enter her life in one way or another. He always did. But like always, he would finally get that she didn't want him around and back off for a little bit.
And he was, he was retreating away from the couch, heading towards the stairs with his shoulders sagged and head down. Shiori watched him from the corner of her eye as she munched on another cookie.
He hesitated a few steps in and turned to face her, leaning on the railing slightly. "Don't forget, you have your first session with Dr. Okada tomorrow after school," he said softly, and that desperate hope-filled look returned, "Would you like me to walk you to his office?"
"I can get there on my own," she responded vehemently, and it seemed that was the final nail in the coffin for now. Takahiro slunk back up the stairs with his tail between his legs, acting like a kicked puppy.
She turned back to the TV, at least now she could watch the rest of this episode in peace. There was an emotional tune playing on the screen as the characters mourned their fallen teammate. How could they ever recover from this? Not only had they lost a strong teammate, a powerful fighter, but they had lost one of their best friends. This was the greatest defeat they ever had, how could they ever win without him?
A book closed loudly and Shiori snapped the cookie she had been eating in half out of frustration at the obvious move to get her attention, a growl rising in her throat.
Though Emi didn't rise from her seat behind her, Shiori could feel her watching her, or at least staring at the couch she was sitting on since it was probably hard to actually see her with how small she was and the angle of the furniture. "Okada? As in Natsuo Okada?" Emi asked, and Shiori refused to answer. Not that it really mattered. There was another long pause, and this time when Emi spoke, it was more careful, like she was treading on glass. "I didn't realize you were in therapy."
"It was never any of your business," Shiori snapped.
Emi didn't say anything and Shiori decided she had enough of everyone. Grabbing her plate of cookies and half-drunk soda, she got off the couch and stormed towards the stairs. She already knew what was going to happen next, anyways. Blue Swan would pull himself out of the rubble, hurt, but alive. The group would reconcile, and he would decide that he couldn't focus on his own anger anymore, that it was too self-destructive, that his friends were more important than his hate.
It was a stupid episode, anyways.
"Shiokawa-san," Emi started, but Shiori wasn't in the mood, she went up the stairs two at a time, stumbling a few times here and there. Whatever Emi wanted to say, it clearly wasn't important seeing as she didn't try to chase her up the stairs.
By the time Shiori reached the second floor, she could hear the sound of music, just barely. But when she reached the third-floor hall, she could make out the notes clearly.
Her face was still in a scowl as she scanned the doors and her glare settled on Ayaka's door. Of freaking course, the rocker looking girl played the guitar, of course. Shiori shook her head, so long as she kept it quiet during the night.
Kicking her door open, she slammed it shut with just as much force. Her plate was placed on the small desk, the two sodas put next to it before she threw her backpack to the side. The door was locked and she shoved a chair against it as a pointless safety measure.
The sound of the guitar still echoed behind her door, and she could hear dogs barking and birds singing out her window. Taking a deep breath, Shiori flung herself onto her bed and buried her face into her pillow and just screamed.
She hated this, hated everything about this.
This wasn't the life she wanted.
She was supposed to live together with Kaede, they were supposed to be happy together, forever and ever. When Kaede finished school, they'd move somewhere far away from the city, in a small town like this. They'd start a small garden, grow their own vegetables. Kaede would set up a stand and they'd sell what they didn't need at the market. She'd go enroll in the local school, study hard so that she could help Kaede when she was older and bigger.
They'd get a dog and take him for walks together—they'd even gone over so many names for their future dog, too!—and when they got older, they'd start a small shop together. Maybe a bakery. Kaede liked to bake. The cookies Emi shared with her were tasteless compared to what Kaede would bake her.
It didn't matter what they did or where they went, so long as they were together they'd make it work no matter the situation. They were supposed to stay together and they were supposed to be happy.
But Takahiro had to ruin it.
Shizukana was exactly the kind of town they had planned to move to when they had the chance, it might have even have been the town they'd go to when Kaede graduated. But even if she was here now, she wasn't going to ever be able to be with Kaede again, not like how they used to be, they wouldn't be allowed.
They weren't ever going to be able to get a small house together, have a dog together, grow a garden together. They sure as Hell weren't going to be opening a shop together and she'd never be coming home to Kaede, or ever be able to eagerly wait for Kaede to come home.
Pressing her face deeper into the pillow, Shiori screamed again and let the fabric and fluff muffle the sound.
"Everything'll be okay, Shiori-chan," she could easily imagine Kaede saying that to her, a soft hand rubbing her back to soothe her, to calm her. "We always figure something out, don't we?"
"This isn't the same," her voice broke with a sob.
This wasn't like when Kaede struggled to juggle two jobs to support them before deciding the stress it caused them both wasn't worth it, or when Shiori got lost in the city one night because Kaede had been very late coming home and Shiori had been afraid something happened and wanted to find her. This wasn't like all the times something went wrong for them.
They couldn't figure something like this out, it was over. Her happiness was gone, left her when the police dragged her kicking and crying away from Kaede, when they led Kaede away in handcuffs.
She cried into her pillow, the stress of everything coming out in her tears and sobs. She wanted to hate Takahiro because of it, blame him for everything. He was the catalyst that caused everything to go wrong. She wanted to hate her dormmates just for existing, they did nothing wrong but be there, and she wanted to hate them for it.
The guitar still sounded in the room, faded and… different. It sounded like a different instrument, but Shiori wasn't paying attention to the softer tones, muffled by her own cries of stress and anger.
Even now she could still feel Kaede rubbing her back to soothe her like she had always done whenever Shiori had gotten upset, could hear her whispering that everything would be okay. If Shiori lifted her head from her pillow, she swore she saw butterfly fluttering around her.
It wasn't real. None of it was. Just her mind wishing for something to be true.
She clutched her pillow tighter.
When Shiori finally drifted off to sleep after crying for what felt like ages, crying until she had nothing left to give, until she was exhausted, she dreamed. Dreamt of shades of blue, of needles, dreamed a man with a big nose and of yellow eyes.
"Why's it so hard to get away from him?" Shiori hissed as she pressed herself into the narrow alley between two small shops.
The second day hadn't been much to talk about. She had to deal with the others at breakfast, the same three as the previous day with the absence of the mysterious other boy living in the dorms. Takahiro had insisted on walking her to school, and she hadn't been able to get out of that, not that she didn't try. Even in school she barely managed to get away from him and had to hide out by the bushes outside the building during the breaks.
Ignoring what Shiori had said the previous day, Takahiro had been adamant about walking her to the therapists office after school, and it had taken all her tricks just to keep from crossing paths with him when school got let out, and had to run as fast as she could away from the building once she got out the doors.
Taking every back alley and out of the way path she could find, Shiori was doing everything she could just to make sure Takahiro couldn't find her, even if it left her completely exhausted and leaning against an old, dirty brick wall gasping for breath and feeling like she'd puke.
But, at least she was able to get away from him. That was a win as far as Shiori was concerned.
Ducking out of the alley, she surveyed the area around her. Small shops, little houses, more people wandering the streets in those mouth masks for the cold. There were even more people with them then she thought there had been, lots of sneezing and coughing, but overall they didn't seem to let it bother them or get in the way.
There was a small old lady selling vegetables at a small stand across from where Shiori was, another seemed to be a liquor store.
It wasn't a part she had gotten to explore yet, everything was completely unfamiliar, and honestly? Shiori wasn't even sure which way she had come from.
She wasn't lost, there was no way that she was going to admit she got herself lost in a town as tiny as Shizukana. She'd just have to walk around a little and she'd find her way back to the dorms again, "How big can it even be?" she muttered to herself.
But, should she return to the dorms? It wasn't like she wanted to go to therapy, but if she didn't go then she'd have to deal with more than she wanted to than if she did go. Takahiro would get called if she skipped, he'd have to sit her down and talk to her about how she needed to go, and he probably would be even more adamant and persistent in finding her after school to take her to therapy the next session.
The rest of the dorm would find out, too. Well, Emi already knew she was in therapy now because Takahiro apparently didn't think about the presence of others when bringing it up. They'd probably be on her case too if she skipped.
Ugh, that meant she'd have to find Dr. Okada's office. She didn't even know where it was in the first place, so how was she supposed to find it now? It probably wasn't likely he had a big neon sign saying Dr. Okoda's Office at the front of the building. Was it even its own building or was it one of those shared buildings where he just rented out an office space to work from?
Maybe she should have asked directions before fleeing. No, that would have taken up valuable time of getting away from Takahiro. She could still ask for directions from the people here? No, no, she didn't want to go shouting that she was in therapy. This was a small town, things like that would circulate. People would talk about the 'Crazy New Kid In Therapy'.
Better take her chances with looking for it on her own.
Shiori couldn't help the scowl as she found a small bench and collapsed atop of it, burying her head in her hands. This was just another thing that she found herself hating about this town, she couldn't find anything that she wanted or needed.
"Hey."
Shiori looked up as someone plopped down next to her. He was a teen, probably around Hamamoto's age.
He was lean, hair bleached blonde, and wore the high school's uniform. Not that Shiori expected anything else, Kagami was the only school around for miles, after all, what other uniform would he wear? He had one of those baseball bags over his shoulder. He crossed his legs and leaned back, throwing his arms over the back of the bench like he didn't care, watching Shiori with grey eyes.
She hesitated, leaning away from him just a bit and watching him carefully. "Hello?" she returned politely. Who was this?
Blondie gave a nod, a slight smile. Something about him had an air of recklessness, yet restraint. "You okay? You seemed kind of angry."
Of course, it was going to be obvious and Shiori found herself puffing her cheeks out as she looked away. "It's nothing," she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest, great, he had only just gotten here and already he was asking questions.
Shiori had expected him to keep prodding, people always prodded. He was going to call her out and ask her what was wrong, tell her that he knew she was lying and do something, say something to try and get her to keep talking. But, Blondie just watched her then shrugged, reaching into his bag to take a bottle of water out. "Alright. If you say so," he said and started drinking.
Huh, that was different.
Shiori found herself staring at him, trying to figure him out. He kept drinking his water, downing the entire bottle as he sat on the bench, not even paying her any mind at all. Like he didn't really care all that much over what she was up to. It was a feeling that Shiori hadn't gotten to feel lately, she liked it.
He finished his water and wiped his chin clean on his sleeve, apparently taking notice of her watching him because he blinked and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Hm? Something on my face?" He asked, touching his cheek and then his chin again.
"Oh? Um, nothing," Shiori shook her head, trying to look away, embarrassed that she had been caught staring at him.
Blondie laughed a little, putting his empty bottle back into his bag and stretching, his elbows and knees popping. Then, once that time's, he leaned forward, watching Shiori was a casual, almost lazy, smile. He held his hand out to her. "I'm Nagisa Hanaba, and you are?"
She looked at his hand carefully, the seeds of apprehension and doubt still buried deep in her. But, she pushed them away to take hold of his hand. "Shiori Shiokawa."
His smile brightened as he gave her hand a gentle shake before letting go, "It's nice to meet you, Shiori-chan," he said, still smiling as he looked around and then back at her. "Are you waiting for some friends? Planning to meet up and then go play until it's time to go home?"
At his question, Shiori faltered and looked down at her lap, uncertain as to how she should answer. She didn't have friends. She certainly didn't have anyone she'd wait around after class for, but that wasn't something she should be telling strangers, was it? Not that she cared what strangers thought of her, but, it just wasn't something she wanted to admit to people.
Yet, he was patiently waiting for an answer, or rather, not really. He didn't seem to mind either way if Shiori spoke to him or not. He was… strange. Even stranger was that Shiori found herself compelled to answer. "I'm um, I was looking for Dr. Okada's office, and I got lost," she admitted quietly.
"Ah, him? Not gonna ask why, that's between you and Natsuo-san," Nagisa said offhandedly, then glanced back over to her. "But, I can tell you this much; you're going the wrong way."
Well, that explained why she was having so much trouble finding him. "Really?" maybe she could retrace her steps and start from scratch at the school. It'd take a lot longer, she was going to be late, but, what else could she do?
Nagisa watched her, then nodded towards the road. "How about this? I'll be going by his office while I do some errands, so why don't you walk with me?"
It was a good offer. He wasn't suggesting he go out of his way to help her, he wasn't offering to lead her to the therapist's office. No, he was just letting Shiori tag along with him since they'd be going the same way. It was a nice offer, a good offer.
As he got off the bench, offering a hand to Shiori, she found herself feeling something familiar. Maybe it was the smile, maybe it was the way he seemed so relaxed, maybe it was something that Shiori couldn't explain. But, at that moment, he reminded her so much of Kaede. With a smile, Shiori took his hand.