"My dear friend, I've been asked to do something unthinkable. I do not know how to refuse it however. I know it is for the greater good if I do this. But I can't make myself just let go. I have never realized until now how tightly I hold onto the people I care about."
Julia Von Wincott gazed longingly down at her companion as he slept underneath the great oak tree, its generous shade cooling them on this hot summer day. Lord Weller was using the thick layer of fresh green grass as a pillow. He slept on his side, his arms shielding his chest and stomach. He slept so defensively, a learned behavior from his time as a soldier. She could make out the blur of his form against the tree, and she hoped that he would sleep a while longer.
She could never speak her thoughts out loud, and she wished to do that now so as to give herself some clarity and resolve herself to what she knew she must do.
"You'll hate me for this," she laughed, a forced laugh that didn't reach her eyes. "I don't know how it will happen yet. The priestesses told me that wasn't so important, that I could make it quick and painless. They said it was my choice. It didn't feel like that."
She leaned back against the tree trunk, the rough bark digging into her back. Conrart still slept soundly, unaware of her troubled mind.
"I could say no, that I won't die for this world, that the Shinou must find another way to help his country. But who's to say that the moment I pass away, whether that be tomorrow or years from now, that the decision won't be made for me. It is difficult to resist the Shinous will. We must all have faith that he will do what is best for us."
Had he done what was best for Conrart though? As she listened to the man's steady breathing as he slept, she wondered about that. He had suffered so much as a half mazoku. He had dealt silently with hatred from mazoku and humans because of his mixed blood. It was such a pointless hatred, and it only brought pain to others. Her heart ached at the thought of it.
Conrart's father had died before he was really grown. It was a terrible loss for one so young. Humans were so short lived compared to the mazoku. It was partially why so many were against the relations between humans and mazoku. It could only end in a broken heart for the mazoku.
Julia believed that was no reason to avoid friendship and love though, however short lived. Bonds were not determined by how long one lived, or by the species of each being. It was so very sad to her that no one could grasp this. She could see in the distant future a world where the conflict between mazoku and humans was resolved, and it was something worth working for. She could be the one that set that future in motion, if only she would give up her life. This was what the Shinou had told her, and she was reluctant to do it. It would hurt so many people close to her, but she knew it was necessary. Perhaps these people could be there to see the peaceful world she could help create, and then they would understand.
"I have healed others for nearly my whole life," she told Conrart. "I've thought on it, and I'd like to make my death worth it. I hope that my future, in another life, is bright, but I'd like to leave some good at the end of my time here. I have so much power and I don't want it to go to waste. I wish I could give it to you, my friend."
She stood and the white light from the sun took over all of her vision until it was all she could see. Her hair was tangled, she noticed as she tried to run her fingers through it. Her father had always admired her hair. She had never seen it, but it was described as a silvery blue, long and pale as the moonlight. She imagined it was beautiful.
"You would do so much good with it, I know."
Later on, Conrart had woken up and Julia had smiled as usual. They walked home together and discussed their time at work and at home, and the current tensions on the countries borders.
Julia wished she could convince Conrart that it would all be over one day, that the hearts of the humans and mazoku had some good in them that would one day save the world.
The day Conrart announced he was to be sent to on the front lines, she decided on her last gift to this world. She was born with extraordinary healing abilities, and the situation in Luttenburg declared nearly any well prepared squad's mission a death sentence, let alone Conrart's squad who would carry almost nothing.
She gave him her necklace, the one with the blue demon stone she had carried with her since she was a girl, and explained it was her gift of a good luck charm during such difficult times.
'Even without magic, you have the power to do such good in this world.' She thought as she smiled at his surprised look. His warm brown eyes asked her questions she would never answer. She never took her necklace off, let alone lent it to anyone. He accepted it nonetheless and touched it lightly as though it was made of glass. He carried a great burden, and the day he marched off to war was solemn and not much more than a funeral march. She knew the time was coming soon.
Perhaps she could not give him her power, but she could give him his life.
Just a short drabble. I really love Julia's character. Comments?