DISCLAIMER: The ideas are mine, the characters and the entire Harry Potter Universe belong to JK...

"Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you'd never complete your life, would you? You'd never wholly know you."

Marilyn Monroe

Chapter 4 - 1961, winter

It's safe to say I had a very sheltered childhood, having almost no contact with the world outside the walls of our house. Our family was very tight, and our upbringing reflected that. My sisters, my cousins and I were brought up as siblings, in many ways, much like my father and Uncle Orion had. It is true I didn't see much of Aunt Lucretia when I was growing up, but it was no exaggeration to say that Aunt Walburga was like a second mother to my sisters and I. I am certain she loved us as the daughters she never had.

In the years to come, I would discover my aunt could be a ferocious woman. She had, like most in our family, very strong opinions about blood purity, and she expressed those opinions more colourfully than anyone I've ever known. She had a very low tolerance for disobedience or for anything that threatened the House of Black. When she became angry it was like there was a fire burning in her eyes.

Thinking back, it's almost odd to realise that she was the same woman who read me bedtime stories and hugged me so tenderly when I was a little girl. Sure, she was impatient, opinionated and a little too loud, but she was also gentle and wise. She was always someone I could talk to; she always had a friendly word to offer, and a shoulder to cry on. A young girl needs an older woman she can look up to and ask for advice. I was lucky to find that in my aunt. She was a strong woman, a powerful witch, and I loved her.

When I was four years old, aunt Walburga came to stay with us for a few days. She did not really want to come. My mother and aunt Walburga were polite to each other, but they were never friends. However, uncle Orion had to travel, for work, for a week, and he did not want to leave aunt Walburga alone. This happened in the first few weeks of 1961. It was a terrible winter, and my aunt was heavily pregnant with Regulus, which was the reason why she had not been coming to the house so often, although, at the time, I didn't understand a thing about it. I remember asking my father why aunt Walburga had not been coming over, but he dismissed my questions. Poor Father! He must have found it quite disconcerting when I kept insisting on the topic. Eventually, he simply told me aunt Walburga couldn't come. It was a "woman thing," he said, and my mother should be the one to tell me about it.

She did not, of course. My mother was never one to talk to me - or to any of my sisters, for that matter - about anything.

I listened to the conversation of the grown-ups from my hiding spot at the top of the stairs when my aunt and uncle arrived.

"I know you did not want to come, love..." uncle Orion started, diplomatically, "but if anything should happen..."

"Orion, there are at least three more weeks before we have to worry about that."

"You can't be sure of that."

"Walburga, be reasonable," my father intervened. He was much less diplomatic than uncle Orion, but that was usually the way he and his sister treated each other. They were very blunt, very open and completely unafraid of speaking their minds without softening their thoughts. And that's how everyone could see that they loved each other. "At your... huh... stage... You should not be left alone! There are many things that could happen and in any of those instances, if you should need any assistance, you should be around people,..."

"I am perfectly capable of looking after myself, Cygnus, I have a wand. And why do you think you are suddenly an expert?"

"I do have three daughters," he pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Please, stop it, you too," uncle Orion intervened, as he somehow did when his wife and her brother started to get worked up. "Love, I wish I didn't have to travel. You know I do. I hate that I am leaving you alone at this time, I hate that you may need me and I won't be here."

Aunt Walburga was quiet for a moment. She looked down.

"I know,..." she said in a voice so low it was almost a whisper.

"You can't pretent these past few days have not been challenging," he said more quietly, "and that is normal. It is normal that you feel more tired, that you find it harder to do certain things. You are already doing the hardest thing for our child, I could never do what you do. But you should not be alone, you should be around family. Don't you see that it puts my heart at ease to know you will be here? That you will be cared for until I get back? I could hardly go otherwise."

"There is also Sirius to think of. It can't be easy to look after him all by yourself," Father said, and the expression on my aunt's face told him he had hit a nerve.

Sirius was a little more than one year old now, and he had walked off with Andromeda almost as soon as they arrived. He'd recently discovered that the scent of pepper imps made his mum feel sick and he'd been enjoying himself with that knowledge for the past few weeks. Whenever Aunt Walburga was around, Sirius pulled two or three pepper imp bags from his pockets and opened them up all at once. Uncle Alphard had given him several boxes of those Honeydukes treats, and Sirius had hidden them in strategic places around the house so that his parents could not confiscate his stash. He laughed out loud, smoking at his ears and nose while his mum struggled to stand up and run to the loo as fast as she could. Uncle Orion had scolded him for that, but judging from Sirius' smile I don't think it did much good.

Father continued:

"I am nearly always home, and when I am not, Druella will be here. We have plenty of space, and the girls can keep you company. You shall want for nothing."

"Fine," aunt Walburga conceded, "fine, you win. I will stay."

"She will be okay," Uncle Orion intervened, "won't you love?" He kissed his wife softly on the lips, holding both her hands.

"Yes," she half-whispered her answer, placing a hand on her belly. "We'll be fine. I just need to sit down for a while."

"I will accompany you," my mother said. She had just arrived. She waited, while my aunt and uncle said goodbye and then offered her arm to escort her sister-in-law to a different room. I had to wait until Father and uncle Orion had cleared the room before I could go downstairs and follow them.

They were at the library and I stood at the door for a while. Andromeda was sitting in a large armchair, and baby Sirius was with her. There was more than enough space for them to sit next to one another, but Sirius sat on Andy's lap, throwing his tiny arms around her neck and laying his head on her shoulder. He had one leg on each side of her body, and she was really quiet because she didn't want him to leave but she didn't quite know what to do either.

Bella was standing next to aunt Walburga by one of the large windows. My aunt had guided Bella's hand to her belly and my sister was about to open her mouth to say something when our mother walked back into the room, from the door on the far right, bringing a tray with some tea.

"Bellatrix, please," Mother said, harshly, "get off of you aunt and stop bothering her!"

Bella removed her hand quickly and shut her mouth, taking a seat at a different armchair, several steps away from either of the two women.

"It's alright, she wasn`t bothering me, Druella."

Mother lay the tray on a small table and looked back at Bella.

"She and Andromeda are old enough to know not to ask questions about what doesn't concern them. Narcissa is too young, but she is probably upstairs," she looked around again and focused on Bella, and then Andy, "Go on then. Up to your rooms, both of you."

"Druella, leave them be," Walburga said, more seriously, "I want them to stay."

Mother relented.

"Well, if you're sure," she said cautiously. " I will be upstairs, but you ask send of them to call me if you need anything. Is there anything else you need now?"

"No, I think I will just be quiet for a while," aunt Walburga replied.

And on that note, my mother left again.

I was still watching quietly, from my place at the door. Aunt Walburga walked slowly to the armchair by the window. I remember thinking there was something funny about the way she walked, although I couldn't quite say what it was. Sirius could spot it as well. Our eyes met for a moment, and the two of us laughed. Bella was watching too, but she averted her eyes quickly when she realized I was watching. It was almost as though she didn't want anyone to know she had been paying attention; as though she was curious about something forbidden. Every now and again Bella glanced at AuntWalburga, looking away quickly as if she didn't want to be caught staring. I had never seen my sister act like that. She changed when we were around Aunt Walburga during those last few months. She was much quieter than usual, much more withdrawn. Sometimes it was like she was lost in thoughts… Other times it was almost like she was afraid of something.

I didn't understand much of what was going on. I didn't ask my aunt any questions; not because I wasn't curious, but because Bella never asked any so I thought it might be the wrong thing to do. But I watched her a lot less discreetly than my sister did. In fact, that night, I watched my aunt as she sat down, and I remember smiling at how funny she looked and wondering why was she doing everything so slowly and awkwardly.

Aunt Walburga didn't see me, though. When she finally sat down, adjusting the cushions behind her she smiled at Andy, on the closest chair. Sirius looked like he was sleeping on Andy's lap. Looking from the two of them to my aunt I thought I understood why he chose that particular position. Aunt Walburga was so large, there didn't seem to be much of a lap for him to sit on anymore.

When she finally noticed me, my aunt asked me to get closer. I walked towards her and she smiled at me. She kissed my forehead and told me she missed me.

I walked to one of the shelves, picked up a large book and brought it back to when aunt Walburga was. It was a copy of Hogwarts, a History. Aunt Walburga had started reading that to us once we all got tired of the Tales of Beedle the Bard.

It was my intention to ask aunt Walburga to continue to read to us, but she seemed so tired. I sat on the floor, by her feel, opened the book and started flipping the pages. I couldn't read well by myself yet, but I liked looking at the pictures.

I watched my aunt from the corner of my eye. She had been looking outside the window, one hand carelessly placed on her stomach, and she couldn't seem to stop fidgeting on her seat. I watched as she tried to sit up straight without much success until she finally managed to place another pillow on her back. There was a funny expression on her face when she took her hand to her side and rubbed her stomach, making small circles with her hands. I took my own hand to my stomach and did the same thing, but I didn't feel any different.

I flipped the pages of the book, stopping at the chapter about the Great Hall. My eyes observed a large picture depicting the enchanted ceiling of the room for a moment, but my thoughts were not on the book anymore. I was thinking about my aunt's condition, and wondering if she'd been forced to go through that. It did seem truly awful, and I'd noticed she barely even used her wand anymore. Glancing back at her discreetly, I remembered the way my father referred to what was happening to her as a "woman thing." I wondered if all girls were forced to go through that at some point. I couldn't imagine her choosing to do this to herself. I didn't want to stop liking pepper imps or to start eating large amounts of grass flavoured Bertie Bott's beans. Not to mention not being able to use my wand (after waiting so long to finally have one) or even being unable to just walk or sit down properly.

I thought about my father's words again and my stomach felt queasy. Casting another look at Aunt Walburga's distressed figure I hoped, for a moment, that what was happening to her would never happen to me.

A/N: Yay, another chapter... It's wonderful to see this story moving forward (specially considering I didn't have the best of records when it comes to finishing multi-chapters).

When I started this story, I didn't think I would be able to use my own personal experiences to inspire the writing. I am a girl, much like the protagonist, but I do not have any sisters, or close girl friends, or close aunts,... Nothing that comes close to the relationships I am trying to write about. However, something similar to what happened to Bellatrix in this chapter happened to me when I was five or six years old. One of my second cousins was pregnant. I had never seen anyone like that before, and I did not know her well, because she was much older than I. I sat next to her, in the car, and she asked me if I wanted to feel her belly. I was about to talk to her and ask her questions when I was harshly reprimanded for invading other people's space and asking questions about things that did not concern me. My cousin said it was alright, and that I wasn't bothering her, but I didn't want to be reprimanded again - and I certainly didn't want to be curious about things that I shouldn't be curious about - so, I kept my hands to myself and kept my mouth shut. As soon as they parked the car I ran away to do something else... It is a really small incident, but it was so long ago, and I still remember it so well,... It just... seemed to fit into this story.

Thank you for reading this fic, please leave me a review to let me know what you think. I love this story, I would love to know I am not the only one...

Live Long and Prosper.