Thank you for the reviews.
I know... I have freaked you all out (The title is another song by the Chainsmokers (on World War Joy. Not that it comes to a surprise to you guys anymore.) called Takeaway, a song which I think sums up the whole of the Reddie relationship. Maybe listen to it. Maybe don't.)... I hated writing this chapter... And before you read it, I think I should give you the good news that this is the last chapter with Adam in it. So goodbye victim number 3... Just how much damage is he going to do before he leaves...
Chapter Thirty
I'll Break Your Heart So You Don't Break Mine
"Busy day today." Rachel said as she addressed the staff in the staffroom. "This is the last day for some of those in the sixth form and we are losing quite a few characters. So make sure you get the chance to wish them well. We were once them, being thrown into the world of work or university. Then the boxing match this afternoon followed by the sixth form drinks.
"Now I know that you would have seen it in the papers about John Fosters closing down. Just to confirm to you that Waterloo Road is one of the schools that has been chosen to… Take on some of the students and staff. I am not sure what it might mean for the moment but… the rumour I am hearing down the grapevine is that the schools that are merging with John Fosters… All head of department roles will be up for grabs. There will be interviews over the summer to determine who will get the roles."
Rachel knew that the news wouldn't go down too well. She had discussed with Eddie about the best way of doing it once they heard the news. They had decided that the best way would be to come from her rather than an email that would be sent around during the holidays.
"I know it is the last thing that you all want. It is the last thing Eddie and I want to do as well. But if this rumour is true, then there is the chance that it will be all change around here come September. I will need all your support with it as well. It isn't going to be easy for the pupils to have nearly a 100 new pupils coming onto their turf. Especially when we know how our students can be."
"Here we go again," Grantly muttered.
"I can only agree, Grantly. But we have today to look forward to and we can deal with everything that the merger with John Fosters will throw at us in the new year. If I don't get the chance to say it later, I hope you all have a good summer."
Rachel's eyes flicked from Tom to Kim before resting on Eddie. It was going to be a long day and she could only hope that everything would go to plan.
"We can't keep doing this Eddie," Adam said.
"No, you can't just accept the fact that Rachel is with me and you have no chance with her."
Eddie didn't like the way that Adam was smiling at him.
"You never told her in the end."
"Adam."
"You never had the guts to tell Rachel what happened between you and Melissa."
"Nothing happened between me and Melissa."
"Maybe, maybe not. You told Melissa that you were going to tell her. It isn't like you haven't had time together. You just knew how much it would hurt Rachel and then she would come running to me."
"What do you want Adam?"
"Break up with Rachel."
"Never."
"Then you wouldn't mind me telling her. I mean, she must have told you about what happened between us that night as well."
Eddie knew that he was doing a bad job of hiding his confusion. Rachel had told him that she had left Adam at the restaurant and went home to be with Philip after debating whether she should go to his. He was glad that she didn't come over that night. But he also knew that Adam had been less pushy since that night. Did something happen between them?
"Oh… She didn't tell you." Adam said.
"Didn't tell me what?"
"I don't think that is for me to say."
"I am just making sure we are on the same page."
"I don't think we are."
Eddie lost it slightly and grabbed Adam by his t-shirt and pinned him against the wall.
"Tell me what happened."
Adam just laughed. "Melissa was right about you. You aren't the person you make yourself out to be."
Eddie let him go and started to walk away from him. He was going to put Adam through a window if he wasn't careful.
"You know that Amanda is good at playing two guys off against each other. It is just the way that she is." Adam shouted after him.
Eddie knew that he had to keep walking and find Rachel. He needed to tell her what he should have told her months ago, and preferable before Adam got the chance.
The last person that Rachel expected to see standing in the doorway to her office was Adam and she didn't like the look on his face as well.
"What is it, Adam? Because we really should be getting down to the boxing."
"Your boyfriend isn't the man that you think he is."
"Look, I know you have your difference with Eddie but that is down to your own jealous getting in the way of your professional behaviour."
"If I am blinded by jealousy, then you are equally blinded by love."
"Adam."
Rachel was all ready to disbelieve what Adam was going to tell her. It was only how worried Eddie looked as he entered her office that made her believe that there might be something else going on.
"Come on Rachel, shouldn't we be getting going," Eddie said.
"What's going on?" Rachel asked.
"Rach, I'll explain."
"He slept with Melissa," Adam said.
"What?!" Eddie said before he turned to her. "Rachel, I didn't sleep with her."
She zoned out as Adam and Eddie started to argue over the facts and as much as she wanted to believe Eddie, it did make a small amount of sense. Melissa had ranted to her about not giving Adam a chance but she had stopped the flirting with Eddie to a degree. She would only have done that if she felt like she had got something off of him. But he would have told her if something like that happened, wouldn't he? Even if Melissa forced herself on him, he would have told her. Not that she could really see how Melissa could force herself on him. Unless he was drunk. But if it happened, and he wasn't drunk, then there must have been some mutual consent. But Eddie wouldn't do that to her.
"Rachel?"
There he was. Eddie Lawson. Her support for the last year and her boyfriend. Looking so worried. She couldn't believe Adam over him, could she? She at least had to hear Eddie out, didn't she?
"Eddie."
"I didn't sleep with her."
"Okay."
She could tell the relief that flowed over him. She hoped that he wasn't lying to her. She didn't think that she could take it if he was lying to her.
"Rachel, I want to tell you. I tried to tell you so many times and then… then everything happened with Earl and it was the last thing on my mind."
"Tell me what?"
Eddie opened his mouth to speak but Adam was a little quicker with playing a recording on his phone.
"Take what well? Nothing happened and once she has had time to process it, she will realise that." Eddie's voice came through the speaker.
"There is no point in telling her. You know it will kill her. We are meant to be Eddie. Just dump your girlfriend and we can have a repeat of Friday night."
Silence fell between them. Rachel knew that she should ask Eddie more but the doubt was rising in her and she couldn't stop it. No matter how much she loved him.
"There was more to that conversation. Nothing happened Rachel, other than the fact that she pushed her way into my house and started to kiss me. I pushed her away and she was angry and hurt and must have come up with this plan with him to tear us apart. Trust me, Rachel." Eddie said.
"I mean because he knows what happened between us that night that you allowed me to take you out for a date," Adam said.
"Nothing happened between me and Adam." Rachel said to Eddie.
She wished that Adam would just smile, to show her that this was a windup and that the only thing that was going on was his and Melissa's jealousy of their relationship. It was a very low blow if it was.
But Adam's face stayed as serious as he had always been. She knew that he was winding her up when he said about their date. She knew that nothing happened between them. So was that what he was doing with Eddie and Melissa? Planting a seed of doubt. The problem was, it was working.
"Come on Rachel. Isn't this how you wanted it? Me and Eddie, going at it. Very clever to make him think that you had chosen him. I suppose it helps to keep the game going." Adam said.
"Shut up Adam!" She shouted.
"Aren't you though? I mean you took Jack and Leon for a ride at school."
"Eddie…"
"I don't think that you two know each other like you think you do."
"Eddie."
For the first time in a long time, she couldn't read Eddie and she had no idea what he was thinking. It killed her that he thought that she might have cheated on him but it also killed her that he might have done. She had no idea what to think and feel and she could feel everything crashing around her.
"I've got drinks to set up," Adam said as he left them.
The silence between them was deafening and Rachel tried to think of something to say that would make the whole situation better.
"Eddie, talk to me."
"Nothing happened between me and Melissa."
"And nothing has happened between me and Adam."
"So, you believe me?"
Her heart was willing her to say yes. She knew that he wasn't lying to her. They were interrupted a lot since the date and they didn't really get a moment alone until after Melissa left. Eddie knew how vulnerable she would have felt after Earl and the gun. She knew that he didn't tell her because it wasn't something for her to worry about. It was nothing that Adam and Melissa were trying to make something.
But her head. Her head was telling her a different story. About the way that Melissa was after her date with Adam and how Eddie was and the couple of times she had caught Eddie and Melissa whispering in the corridor to each other. She knew Eddie was a good man. He always tried to do the right thing and she didn't think that he was the type of person that would cheat. So why was she doubting him?
"Do you believe me?" She asked.
It was clear that he was having the same thoughts that she was.
"Rach… I…"
"Maybe it is for the best."
"What do you mean?"
"I want to believe you, Eddie."
"Then do."
"But I know what my sister can be like."
"Rachel…"
"I can't do this Eddie."
"We need to talk about it."
"I think our silence makes up for any words that we could say. We are doubting each other."
"Don't…"
"I… Maybe a bit of space will do us some good. We have basically spent every day this year together."
"Don't do this Rachel. Don't push me away."
"This was bound to happen at some point."
"What was?"
"Well, who wants the ex-prostitute? Who wants a woman who always puts her job first? Everyone leaves me in the end, Eddie. Someone else always comes along."
"I want you, Rachel."
She was glad that they still had her desk between them. She didn't know whether she would have had the same strength if he had been closer. She picked up her bag off her desk.
"Rachel?"
"I've got to go. It might look better if at least one of us shows our face at this boxing match." She said as she stormed past him.
She didn't allow herself to start crying until she had got into her car and left the school. The tears flowed freely and she couldn't stop them as she made her way home instead of to the boxing. She would hear from Philip how Bolton knocked the other guy out before it was revealed that Rob had given him some pills to help with his concentration. Just another problem for her to deal with. But the silence of her big empty house was the thing that she most desired at that moment and it would be where she would organise all her thoughts and realise that she had made the biggest mistake of her life.
She had finally pushed Eddie away and she didn't know whether she would allow herself to pull him back.
I'm going to hide now and will see you at some point tomorrow...