Normalcy. That is all that is needed. The routine was the same every day. Wake up, go for a morning run, make breakfast, shower, feed the cat, go to work, come home, make dinner, read, then sleep. The routine never changed and that is what she needed. Needed time to heal, time to forget and forgive.
Though, Hermione had been telling herself this for 5 years now. She had enjoyed the quiet life at first, but the lack of human contact outside of work was beginning to eat at her. She wasn't even sure what was going on in the Wizarding World. Long ago she stopped checking, residing to her new life of solace. It was not easy she knew that, but she had to do it. Harry didn't know, or Ron, or Ginny. No one knew where she went and, she preferred it that way.
Sighing as she read her newest book, Crookshanks jumped on her lap letting out a soft meow. Smiling, her fingers ran through the animal's fluffy fur, the texture making her smile slightly. After a moment she stood up and walked into her bedroom. Despite leaving the Wizarding World, she could never forget what magic lay within her. She often practiced, using different spells and becoming more than proficient in defense and attacking spells. Just in case.
Crookshanks darted into her room as she shut and locked the door and walked over to her closet which she had put an Extending Charm on. Walking past the clothes she breathed in the smell of patchouli and lavender, her eyes closing and taking in the smell before she opened them to examine the room. The room had been simply set up. A plush rug to the side where she meditated, a dummy she transfigured to practice disarming spells, and a couch with a coffee table that she sat at to do any research. Walking over to the carpet she sat and crossed her legs, one over top of the other, eyes closing as she focused on her breathing. Feeling her lungs expand as she inhaled, the air she pretended was filling every inch of her body. From her toes to the top of her head, and then exhaling. Imagining all the negative leaving with each exhale. Images flashed behind her eyes as she focused on breathing. She saw her, Harry, and Ron all sitting together in the Great Hall, having lunch, talking, laughing. Ron kissing her, Harry smiling at her. The memories made her smile as she cherished them, cherished their smiles and laughs, the way Ron's ears would turn bright red when he was mad, how Harry's eyes would light up whenever he won a Quidditch match. As these memories played through her head, she could feel the hum of magic in her body, flowing through her veins, tangling in her soul. The images sped in her mind as she tried to remain focused. The good memories began to fade, and the bad ones began to replay like a movie, she could watch but not interfere.
Breathe. Reminding herself as suddenly the movie stopped on one moment. Her heart sank and she could feel the pain all over again. The feeling of the knife dragging into her skin, breaking into her muscle as she begged and screamed. The deranged woman above her cackling and holding her down. Her breath quickened and she was losing control and fast.
As her cries stopped and the woman finished, her head lolled to the side tears shimmering in them and her skin feeling numb, she met a pair of storm grey eyes filled with sorrow, remorse, and guilt.
Opening her eyes, her skin flush and covered in sweat, the rug around her singed and smoking as she focused on breathing again. "No, no no no no!" Standing quickly with her wand, she aimed curses, hexes, anything at the dummy. The dummy she had charmed to fix itself once it was damaged, so no matter how much she threw at it, it would never be damaged. Slowly, she ran out of energy and felt her body begin to shut down for the night. Dragging herself back into her room, Crookshanks asleep on her bed. Sighing, she peeled off her clothes, slipping on a camisole and shorts. Pulling the blankets back and laying in the bed, she reached over the nightstand and grabbed a Sleeping Draught and Dreamless Sleep potion. Downing them both, she was in a dreamless sleep within 5 minutes. The only relief she had from her mind.
The next morning, Hermione woke to Crookshanks meowing. Trying to ignore the cat was impossible so she got up, slipping on a tank top, tying her hair back and slipping her running shoes on. She left on the shorts, preferring to run in the chill of the morning. Stretching lightly, she took off out of her flat locking the door. Normally she ran to the park and back but today she only felt like a small run. She made it halfway before calling it and turned to head back. Running made her feel better. She could not explain it to anyone, but it cleared her head, woke up her body, and helped her forget. Once she got back home, turning on the coffee maker and pouring herself some cereal. Opening a can of wet food for Crookshanks, she smiled as he meowed impatiently. Setting it down in front of him he began eating fervently. She carried her things to the living room and sat eating her cereal and drinking her coffee. Not having to be at work for another hour and a half, she downed breakfast and took a quick shower. Once she finished, she slipped on her black jeans and black shirt, her required uniform. Tying back the mangy hair on her head, she cast a glamour charm changing the shape of her face and the color of her eyes. Sighing she turned to Crookshanks. "How do I look? Presentable right?" She joked giving him a half smile as he sat there. He didn't respond, he never did. Slipping on her shoes, she grabbed her coat and slipped her wand in her coat pocket, just in case.
One last look around her flat, she left.
Moving to America had not been an easy decision. Especially Muggle America, but she needed this. She needed no one to know who she was, where she came from, or what she was hiding from. Walking to her job was something she enjoyed as well. She only worked a few blocks away no need to take the bus. Upon moving to America, she settled on a small town in the Midwest. She had found a job at a bookstore that paid well. The owner was barely around, and she was one of two workers. Walking in the doors, her coworker Chris smiled from the counter.
"Mina! So good to see you!" She gave him a smile as he greeted her like he always did.
"Hello Chris. You act as if you didn't see me yesterday" She joked walking into the employee area. Slipping her coat off, and pinning her nametag to her shirt as she clocked in. Chris had followed her back and he was smiling excitedly.
"Well I am even more excited because I have a date and I was thinking you wouldn't show but then I remembered who I was talking about." He teased back and she rolled her eyes. Chris was a nice guy. Standing at 5'7, he had a long and lanky body, shaggy dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. His skin scattered with freckles, and his smile revealing two front teeth that were slightly parted.
"Well I am here now. Go, have fun, be safe." She chided him as he clocked out and almost threw his nametag in his locker. With a quick wave and a goodbye thrown over his shoulder, he was gone. She smiled as she walked into the main floor of the bookstore, a few people milling about, some reading and some browsing. Looking over at the cart she saw the books piled up and began pushing the cart to put books away.
This is what her life has come to. The simplicity of it made everything so much easier to deal with.
The day passed with its simplicity and she closed the shop to head home. After another night of reading, meditation, and throwing every hex and curse she can think of, she passed out in her room, curled up with Crookshanks.
That night, she dreamed of storm grey eyes looking down at her. Instead of being filled with guilt and remorse, they were filled with love and adoration.
AS Crookshanks woke her in the morning, she enjoyed her breakfast and her morning run before heading into work. She opened this morning, so she had to be there early. She rushed to the building, the sun not even peeking over the horizon as she unlocked and began setting up the shop. Once 6 am hit, she opened the doors and sat enjoying a book of her own. As her shift continued, Chris called her to let her know he couldn't make it. Knowing she was in for a long night, she went home on her break to feed Crookshanks and grab herself some lunch.
Her shift came and went. Now she was left in the shop, filling out the ledger for today and restocking a few shelves. As she was back in the fiction section, she heard the bell go off at the front. "I'm sorry we are closed right now!" She yelled to the door as she walked back, stopping in her tracks as she saw who had walked through the door. She had been careful, no way they would recognize her.
Ginny, and Harry stood in the bookstore she worked at. She had no idea how they made it here, she had been so careful.
Merlin, they look so different. She couldn't help thinking. Harry had grown more if even possibly, his features rougher and a shadow of hair around his jaw, his hair grown out slightly and dark circles under his green eyes. Ginny was so much different. Her fiery red hair remained but she had grown slightly taller, and Hermione could see muscle under her clothes from playing Quidditch.
After a moment of staring, she realized they had said something. Trying to disguise her voice she spoke softly.
"Uhm, I'm sorry can I help you? Th-The shop is closed for the night." Harry looked up at her. His eyes looking over her face, and she knew he knew.
"Hermione?" Her eyes widened and before she knew what was happening, she felt her glamour fading. Ginny had removed her glamour, and her eyes watered as they looked at one another.
"Wh-What are you doing here? How did you find me?" She asked as they looked at her in shock. Five years had been a long time for built up emotions. Unable to control it anymore, Ginny launched herself at Hermione, wrapping her arms around her tightly as she cried.
"It's you! It's truly you! You are alive!" Ginny cried as Hermione broke and held onto her tightly. Hermione's tears leaked onto Ginny's shoulder, and she felt another pair of arms around her, and Harry's soft cries as they finally found their long-lost friend.
The three of them stayed like this for what felt like hours but was only a few minutes. Finally, the pair pulled away, wiping their eyes before looking back at her. Hermione wiped her eyes before looking at them.
"My place is down the road; I can explain everything there." Without another word, Harry and Ginny helped her close the shop and Apparated on the spot to her home.
Hermione gagged and heaved as they landed in her living room, Crookshanks hissing and growling. She hadn't Apparated in almost 3 years, she had forgotten what it felt like. Once the feeling passed and she calmed Crookshanks, she sat on the couch as Ginny looked at her.
"Uhm please, sit down. Let me get you som-"
"Why did you leave?" Ginny interrupted and Harry began to chide her, but she stopped him.
"No Harry we deserve to know. Why. Did. You. Leave?" Hermione could see the anger on her face as she spoke each word with pronounced anger.
"You both have every right to be mad at me. I promise I can explain everything. Starting with why I left."
Sighing as Crookshanks curled in her lap, letting Hermione pet his fur. She never thought she would be doing this, but she owed it to them.
"I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of the looks and the comments. The stares. The straw broke when Ron..." She trailed off as they both nodded in understanding.
"I... I tried to forget. It backfired big time. So, I left." She stated simply as they both look at her. Ginny came and sat next to her on the couch, her hands on Hermione's back.
"Mione, you have to come back. This, this seclusion, is not healthy. Everyone thinks you are dead even..." Ginny stopped her sentence as Hermione looked up at her. Her eyes burned with fire and Crookshanks hissed in pain. "Good. He doesn't deserve to know if I am alive or dead."
Ginny knew better than to press the subject, but Harry interjected.
"Hermione, you have to come back. We need you. Everyone misses you greatly. Molly and Arthur have been helping us look for you, even remaining members of the Order are helping look for you." Each word sent a pang of guilt through her heart as she thought about everyone else not knowing. She sighed softly looking between them both. Ginny rubbed her back and suggested she sleep on it. Harry thought that was a great idea and offered to make them some tea. Declining, she decided to just head to bed. Her brain begged her to do her meditating but seeing Harry and Ginny had worn her out.
"I will show you guys to the guest room. I need to sleep; it has been a tiring day." Showing the couple to their room for the night, she gave them fresh blankets and told them to make themselves at home. Once they were settled in, she went back to her room, pulling open her dresser drawer, she pulled out the prescription bottle. Tossing back three of the small pills and a Sleeping Draught, she passed out. Dreaming of storm grey eyes, a charming smile, and a boisterous laugh that made her stomach flip. She was happy in her dreams, which is why she hated them so much. She wanted her dreams more than anything, but in her mind, she didn't believe she deserved happiness after Ron left her because of her foolishness with a pair of storm grey eyes.