Snow and Lissa TRY to Get Their Freak On
Fits in after Chapter 30 of Master Mine: A Lesson in Submission

"Wow, this room looks exactly as you described it, Lissa!" Snow said as she entered the room Lucius and Hermione had just vacated.

Lissa was right behind her. "Well, yeah. I'm all about description, you know."

Snow's eyes grew large as she spotted the Y shaped bench. "I've never seen one of these in person." Snow walked over and sat on the bench, recalling the delicious scene Lissa had written. She played with the rope and weight that were still suspended from the ceiling as Lissa walked over.

"Breath play is something the hubby and I have played with, but never with weights and suspension." Lissa said as tugged on the weight lightly.

Snow nodded in acknowledgement as she stood and walked towards the chest full of devices and toys on the side wall. Just as she opened the top drawer. A loud crash sounded from behind. Snow turned to find Lissa looking guiltily at the weight which had fallen to the floor and broken the handle on Lucius's suede flogger. "Fuck," Lissa whispered. She looked up into the hazel eyes of her best friend. "You think anybody heard that?"

"You two are about as subtle as a herd of crumple horned snorkacks."

Both women cringed when they heard the voice of Severus Snape. Apprehensively peeking behind them, they spotted the wizard in black standing just inside the room, his foreboding look matching the glare he had beset upon Harry Potter more times than could be counted.

Their expressions became more chagrined when Lucius appeared next. His eyes darted to the floor where the handle of his favorite flogger lay crushed. "Honestly!" The flabbergasted wizard dashed over and scooped up the pieces. "What are you two doing in here, anyway? Don't you know you have a denouement to complete? The long-awaited conclusion of book one? A scene which leaves Hermione and myself confessing our undying love before escaping to a magical island off of Spain somewhere? Or whatever Malfoy resort homestead you two dream up?"

Snape shook his head as he stepped forward. "Oh, Lucy. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad how delusional you are."

"We know, we know! Real life gets in the way of writing sometimes!" Lissa exclaimed apologetically, ignoring the bantering between the two wizards.

"Yes, well. You try maintaining an erection for six days because your writer's muse takes a break in the middle of writing a sex scene to deal with real life!" Lucius scolded.

"Oh, Lissa. You didn't." Snow whispered, totally throwing her best friend under the bus as she smiled at Lucius.

Lissa turned to Snow, "You're one to talk! You left Hermione vomiting in a bathroom at the Ministry for over a week before you finally consulted my help with describing hyperemesis gravidarum!"

Snow rolled her eyes, "That was The Affair. A completely different story and therefore off topic!"

Lucius looked at Snow with disgust. "Hermione told me about that. You really do owe her an apology."

Severus stepped forward. "Speaking of off topic, what are you two doing in here? You are the writers, not set directors, actors or part of the crew. Explain yourselves."

Lissa glanced at Snow and then back up at the wizard in black. "We were just…curious. Just because we write BDSM scenes doesn't mean we've actually experienced everything we write."

Lucius looked at Snape and then back at Lissa, "Hmm, well. What specifically are you curious about?"

Lissa shrugged, "Well, suspension, for one."

"Breath play," Snow squeaked quickly, not sounding nearly as calm and cool as she intended. She cleared her throat. "Yes, umm, breath play sounds interesting. Just curious…you know. For research purposes…only."

Lucius and Snape were looking at Snow with knowing smirks. "Indeed," crooned Snape.

Lucius redirected the conversation. "Well, you have both written suspension scenes, quite well I might add. Not sure what…"

Lissa sighed. "Here's the thing. I pride myself on description. I'm quite sure, and I know Snow agrees, that our descriptions and intensity could be upped if we had a few more personal experiences to draw off."

Snape sighed. "You do realize we are simply doing what you two write?"

"And therefore, unless you write it we can't help you?" Lucius added.

Snow rolled her eyes dramatically, "That just seems like such a minor technicality. I mean…have you ever heard of improvisation?"

Lucius shook his head. "Get to writing ladies."

"You are wasting precious time that should be spent with quill to parchment." Snape added as he followed Lucius out of the room.

"Ok, but don't blame us if the readers give us lousy reviews for poorly written smut scenes and your fan base drops." Lissa yelled to their retreating forms.

"That's okay. There are rumors Desert C has a new story in the works. We'll just pop over and say hello to her." Lucius replied as he peeked back through the door. "I'm sure she doesn't leave her lead characters hanging in the balance while her muse is," he made air quotes, "on vacation, or needing a break because work has been so crazy." With that he disappeared.

After a minute of stunned silence, Snow scoffed, "Well, that was just…completely uncalled for."

"On vacation my lily-white ass. What the fuck is vacation? I just gained another kid! Worked fifty hours last week and did 387 math problems this weekend before taking an exam." Lissa turned to Snow in exasperation. "Is it so much to ask that one of those gorgeous men get ME off at some point?"

Snow slung an arm around Lissa's neck and pulled her in for a sympathetic hug. "I know, honey, I know. But like they said…we'd have to write it."

"Ugh."