Lexa's had a lot of experience masking the slight spike in fear or apprehension she feels when faced with the unknown. Perhaps by now it isn't even really fear, but an anticipation for something out of her control. It doesn't surprise her that the reaper tunnels are full of Ilian's allies, many she's cut down already, some with tech, red smoke and explosives. Her warriors have even interrupted a hand full who were seemingly in the middle of setting a trap of sorts.
But the thing she finds driving whatever emotion it is inside her is the fact that she doesn't know Clarke's fate. She doesn't know if Clarke is alive or dead or being tortured somewhere deep within the tunnels.
Lexa forces her mind on the present though, she knows she can't help Clarke if he doesn't even make it to her, wherever she is. Part of her is impressed by Torvun, too, somehow and someway in his injured state he has fought through countless people already and she knows regardless of whatever pain he is in he will keep going until he finds Clarke or he can't walk. But even then, she is sure he'd crawl until his body gave out.
Lexa takes the briefest of moments to look up at the man who walks just slightly ahead of her, and she finds herself grimacing at the charred top of his head that she is sure must be excruciating. She even notices his grip on his sword is slightly loose, and she finds his left hand seems to twitch just barely noticeably with each second step he takes. She files everything she sees for a later time when one of her healers will be able to—
There's a subtle shift in the air, something not quite apparent at first, but as Lexa takes a few more steps and as those around her begin to shift, she knows she doesn't imagine it.
"Smoke," Costia whispers quietly, and as Lexa takes in a shallow breath she finds herself able to taste the distinct acrid smell of burning.
It surprises her for she can't picture what is burning, she can't even think of anything that could be in the tunnels that would even be able to be burnt and yet Lexa's skin crawls.
It takes her a second longer, but as they continue to creep forward in the dark Lexa realises she doesn't hear any more sounds. There's no footsteps rushing back and forth in the echoing distance, there's no sounds of weapons clanging against weapons or even the quick and sharp shout of warning she had been hearing just moments earlier.
They come to a crossroads then and as Lexa looks down one path she finds a barely noticeable flickering of light that bounces off the tunnel walls. The other, as she glances over her shoulder, remains swallowed in shadow with barely a thing to be seen. The smoke seems thicker here, too, and as Lexa peers further down the first path she thinks she sees a haze, a mist something that shouldn't be where it is.
"There is an entrance to the Mountain down there, Heda," one of her warriors says quietly, and she looks over her shoulder to find a man pointing down to where the flickering light filled path.
Suspicion begins to rise within Lexa then and she finds herself beginning to dread whatever revelation she is sure to uncover.
"Stay here," she says to half her warriors who nod their heads and turn outwards to face the darker pathway and the way they had come.
Lexa begins moving faster now, Torvun ever silent by her side as Anya, Costia and Gustus shadow her steps with the few other warriors who split off with her. The light seems to increase with each passing step and as Lexa grows nearer and nearer she begins to feel a heat beginning to surround her and an apprehension building within her mind.
The next few moments are strange.
Lexa knows of the entrances in and out of the Mountain, she knows of the tunnels that wriggle their way underground. Hardly any of the underground entrances to the Mountain are used, most long since rusted shut, in part because the Mountain Men had ensured their permanent closure, and in part because most from the clans rather not venture through the reaper tunnels.
And so it doesn't surprise her to find that at the end of this particular path there's a rusted metal door, its hinges closed forever from rusted permanence. But the one thing that's different is the heat she feels coming from the metal. There's a flickering of light that can be seen through the barely there cracks along the door's frame and through the cracks seep the telltale stench of smoke.
Lexa's lip turns up in distaste as she presses her hand ever so slightly to the metal of the door only to wince and pull it away as a searing heat meets her palm.
And that's when everything begins to fall into place.
It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together and as Lexa looks from her palm, to the cracks in the door's frame, the flickering light and to the smoke that slowly rises she realises what all the signs point to.
"Fire," Lexa doesn't know if she curses the word, whispers it or prays for it not to be true. But it is.
There's gasps and curses around her as a realisation that Ilian and his allies have succeeded in whatever plan they set out to accomplish.
A fire rages in the Mountain, that much is obvious, a fire sears through its structures, burns all that it touches and consumes anything in its path. Maybe bringing Clarke into the reaper tunnels was merely a distraction, maybe filling it with would-be warriors was merely a distraction, maybe it's only part of a plan Lexa has thwarted only to overlook the obvious target.
Lexa's mind begins to race, it begins to turn, twist, wriggle and bend itself through problem and solution almost faster than she can think. Her first thought turns to her people trapped in the Mountain, her first thought turns to those surrounded by burning heat, by searing flame and dancing ember. She can't lose the Mountain, it's helped her people so much already. She can't lose her people who have taken residence within the Mountain, not after she fought so hard to give them freedom from its shadow.
An anger begins to burn, a fury begins to rise in the depths of her core as she realises Ilian means to burn the Mountain to the ground in whatever foolish, stupid, misguided belief he carries. She doesn't even care in the moment about the why of his actions, that can and will wait. All Lexa wants to do, all she knows she needs to do is to help her people, is to make sure she can get them to safety as quickly as possible, and so she turns from the rusted door, she turns from the flickering light and she makes to run, to dash, to sprint back the way she came, to fight her way out of the tunnels and to the Mountain's main entrance in the hopes of helping her people out of it—
However Lexa stops, she pauses and she finds herself unable to do anything for a split second. But that split second lasts an age. Lexa's mind turns to Clarke, it turns to a woman she has come to appreciate more than she has realised. And it makes her heart want to rip itself into pieces. It's a situation Lexa never thought she'd be in, it's a problem she never thought she'd ever face. But now, as she stands in the middle of a reaper tunnel, she finds herself uncertain if she can make the choice she knows she must make.
Lexa remembers the first time she saw Clarke, when she had walked into her tent with fire in her eyes and the white of Azgeda paint on her face clear for all to see. She remembers finding her childish, foolish, brash and a nuisance at times. She remembers her growing into a leader, a warrior and someone who the clans looked to in times of trouble, whether to blame or to rely upon. And Lexa remembers realising the qualities she saw in Clarke had been drawing her closer and closer to her before she even realised what was happening. And then it was too late to go back, too late to stop the emotions that had been brewing.
She remembers a kiss that had sealed their fates together forever, she remembers wondering for a split second if she had made a mistake and she remembers throwing caution to the wind. But her decision had always been easy, if only because she had never had to choose between what was best for her people and what was best for Clarke.
Until now.
It breaks Lexa's heart to turn her back on Clarke, but her duty to her people this moment outweigh any and all other emotional wants she has and so Lexa braces herself, she steadies her heart and sh—
"I will continue to search for Clarke."
It surprises her to find Torvun's large hand on her shoulder awkwardly, and for the most brief of moments she thinks it the first time he has ever touched her. But, as she looks the man in the eyes she sees an understanding, an acceptance and a determination.
And so Lexa nods just once as she pushes her emotions into the recesses of her mind and begins racing for the nearest entrance to the Mountain.
For some stupid reason Raven didn't evacuate when the first signs of fire started appearing. Part of her thought it containable, part of her assumed it couldn't possibly spread as far and as fast as it did. But it did and now she's stuck.
She doesn't even fully understand why it has started, but she has heard groaned whispers from the wounded Azgeda of an Ilian, a fool, an idiot, someone who didn't know what they were doing. Raven's smart enough to put two and two together. Or at least to infer enough from whatever evidence she has.
Whoever this Ilian is, has somehow started a fire, he has somehow been responsible for the influx of wounded Azgeda and he has somehow completely and absolutely ruined her day.
Raven looks over her shoulder and at the door she managed to seal shut behind her. She's thankful it was keeping the flames at bay for now, but it currently isn't doing much for the heat.
Sweat drips from her face, it makes her body feel like she's just been running circles in the sun and it makes her grip infuriatingly slippery around the spanner in her hand.
She'll tell people I told you so at a later stage, she even distinctly remembers pointing out how flammable all the Mountain's decorations were, but she'll ask for some recognition later. She has a job to do and she doesn't quite know how much more time she has before the radiant heat puts her down for good.
Lexa sprints hard, she doesn't even care if she comes upon any other of Ilian's allies. She ducks and dives and skids across the gravel of the reaper tunnels, she takes leaping step after leaping step and she urges her legs to move faster and faster beneath her. Gustus somehow, someway manages to keep pace with her, Anya and Costia right behind them followed by her other warriors who race forward. Lexa already begins cataloging who will be needed to help fight the fire, she already begins identifying who will be sent to seek healers from the nearby villages, and she hopes beyond hope that Clarke will be found safe and whole.
It doesn't take Lexa long to break free from the reaper tunnels, and it doesn't take her long to realise the extent of the fire that rages within the Mountain's depths. Smoke rises into the sky in the near distance from what she can only assume is the Mountain's main entrance. She can even hear shouts of warning, cries of help and the cacophony of people trying to communicate over the storm of panic.
Lexa runs, she finds herself ducking under tree branch and leaping of bush and shrub. Each step she takes is marred by a guilt that begins to build within her core, but she can't listen to it, she can't feed it for she has a duty to her people, to ensure their survival, to make sure as many are saved as possibl—
Lexa crashes through the last of the forest and comes face to face with a swarm of destruction. People run about left and right. She can see wounded warriors, Azgeda and others from different clans being carted off as far away from the fire as possible. Those who are uninjured and not in the middle of trying to help the wounded run back and forth, some with supplies, others with buckets of dirt, water, anything to put out the fire. She can see a line of people leading out from the Mountain's entrance and into the forest, buckets being passed along from person to person.
But through all the commotion, all the noise and confusion, something wriggles deep within her core. As Lexa counts the Azgeda, as she tries to gauge how many had left Polis and how many are now in front of her, the longer she looks upon them the longer she realises she can't see two faces in particular. It isn't even a conscious thought, it isn't even a considered worry, but in the few seconds Lexa looks upon the Azgeda, she realises she can't see Ontari's stubborn face or Entani's much more respectfully guarded eyes.
A new dread begins to rise, a new helplessness begins to settle within her and she doesn't quite like that feeling either.
"Help the wounded," Lexa shouts to those around her, and she watches as Anya and Costia looks at each other for just a brief moment before rushing off to join those tending to the injured. "Gustus," and Lexa looks up at him, "take twenty warriors, search the forest. Find and kill Ilian and his allies."
And with that Lexa races forward, a decision already made and an anger and hopelessness slowly but surely taking hold. She thinks she hears Gustus protest her orders before his voice fades into the background. But she doesn't worry, she knows Gustus more than capable of doing as commanded. She doesn't even really worry for the wounded out of the Mountain, if only because she knows them in as capable a care as can be expected given the circumstances.
What Lexa really worries about in this moment is the fact that she doesn't know how many others are trapped in the Mountain, she doesn't know how many could be lost, blinded by the heat and sealed from the open by the blistering flames. And Lexa hates it.
The closer Lexa gets to the Mountain's entrance the more the smoke begins to sting into her eyes. Warriors who notice her rush to get out of her way as she continues sprinting forward. Lexa gives them hardly any notice as her mind continues to hone in on whatever goal she has in mind. Part of her doesn't even know if she's thought things through properly, part of her doesn't even think she's actually thought of what she's about to do. All she knows is that she's running on instinct, on some primal desire to help save her people.
And in this moment she knows she can't do much to help the injure already outside of the Mountain. She knows people must be trapped inside, must have been caught off guard. And part of her hopes she can find Ontari and Entani, part of her hopes she'll be able to find them wherever they may be insid—
The heat of the flame hits her as soon as she rushes past the main entrance. There's not even fires burning around her yet the heat, the temperature and the air seems to burn. Warriors move around her, many with buckets of dirt and water as they rush into the searing heat to try and put out the flames little by little. Most have shed their shirts due to the heat, their bodies glistening with sweat. Lexa even sees Skaikru there with their small red containers they use to blast the fire away.
"Heda?" Lexa spins to the sound and she finds Wells standing in a sleeveless shirt with sweat pouring from his face.
"Wells," and Lexa looks at the red container in his hands. "Give me that," she's thankful she went through the effort of learning the basics of many lifesaving tech Skaikru has.
"Where are you going?" it comes out part confused and part concerned understanding.
"To help others," is all Lexa says as she grabs the tech and races forward.
The first thing she thinks as she rounds the first corner is just how dangerous a situation she could soon find herself in. The air has that same heaviness she has tasted before when the Mountain Men used their red smoke to capture her people, and she isn't surprised Ilian has somehow found a way to use that to his benefit. But she discards that thought for now simply because it's unimportant.
The Mountain around her is a wall of searing rock and metal. She's thankful that the structure of the Mountain isn't wood, had it been, she knows it would have gone up in flames, and yet, somehow, the flames seem to be clinging to the walls in clumps as if drawn to patches of it without any sign of lessening. Most of the furs, the wood and the plant brought in from the outside has burnt up or is on fire, their bodies shrivelling and twisting and cracking beneath the flame's intensity.
Lexa winces as embers spark next to her and spray the side of her body. She won't use the tech in her hands unless she needs to, unless she finds herself cornered and trapped or about to be set on fire. She knows she must suffer whatever slight burns will come the deeper into the mountain she travels.
She knows the Azgeda would have been taken to the large healer's room, and she knows if Ontari or Entani are still in the Mountain they'd be closest to there. Part of her can't believe she's doing this, part of her can't understand it. She doesn't think Entani thinks much of her and she knows Ontari much less fond of her than she'd like. But she knows them both important to Clarke, and so she finds them important to her—
She yelps as fire spits out at her, she grimaces as she pats out the flames that seem to spring to life on her jacket and she grimaces as heat washes against her body as the flames continue to rise. Even her feet seem the burn, her boots doing little to fight back the heat of the fire.
It happens slowly, but beyond the searing heat of the flames that cling to life without any visible fuel, the thing that Lexa begins to realise is that her mind begins to turn fuzzed and heavy. Lexa stumbles, she steadies herself on a wall only to curse and pull away as the rock yet again burns through her clothes.
But that momentary lapse of concentration, that momentary lapse of judgement is enough to bring memories flooding into her mind. And Lexa remembers the times she has been almost caught in the red smoke, she remembers the times it had made her want to fall to the ground and sleep. And she knows now why Ilian stole the red smoke canisters.
In some way he has unleashed their power within the confines of the Mountain. It would explain why no one calls for help, it would explain why no one struggles to fight through the flames and the burning heat. Whoever is left inside the Mountain must be unconscious.
And Lexa knows she must hurry if she is to find Ontari and Entani safe and sound. Lexa runs, or perhaps she stumbles. Whatever means of movement she manages to produce gets her moving forward and so she doesn't argue, doesn't second guess or consider. The flames seem to be stronger the deeper in she moves, she takes turns, twists, pathways and hallways through the Mountain in search for the healer's room. It's not even a straightforward path to fin—
Flames lick at her elbow, she grimaces, takes a step sideways, ducks a fur that hangs from the ceiling, its body consumed by flames. But Lexa recognises the hallway she finds herself in, she recognises the remnants of a large tree branch that seems more coal than wood and she would scream with success if her lungs weren't burning, if her face wasn't washed in blistering heat.
But then her blood freezes.
Halfway down the hallway she sees two shapes lying on the ground close together. It takes her barely a second to register what they are before she begins running forward. A burning, raging, thundering fire blocks her path but Lexa heeds it no warning as she leaps through it, as she ignores the smouldering embers on the leathers that adorn her body and she stumbles, she tries not to breathe in too heavily from the exertion as flames and red smoke threaten to knock her out.
Lexa won't die. Not trapped in the Mountain after having defeated it. She rushes to Ontari's side to find the woman's furs smoking. Even Entani lies on her side, one boot almost consumed by flames, the furs and thick leathers of her clothes somehow keeping most of the heat at bay.
She knows she only has two, maybe three bursts of the tech in her hands before it runs dry but she can't risk either unconscious women being burnt more seriously than they already are. And so she gives them one quick blast of the tech. The recoil surprises her, it jolts her arm and she almost drops it, but her grip tightens and she manages to keep her hold long enough to put out the slightest of embers already threatening to eat Ontari and Entani whole.
Lexa can't even tell if they still breathe, their chests far too still for comfort. But Lexa won't give up, not when she finds herself so frustratingly infuriated by Ilian and he foolish allies.
Flames seem to grow closer and closer now, their heat more angry, their intensity more furious. Lexa tries to think, tries to consider, tries to imagine a way forward. She doesn't know how she'll get Entani and Ontari out of here, not easily. It'd help if she had others with her, but it was too late to repriman—
Lexa snarls as she pulls Entani from the ever approaching flames only for her hand to touch something hot.
It burns. It sears and Lexa ignores whatever burns into her fingers as she pulls Entani away from the fire, as she pulls her closer to Ontari in the hopes that the flames won't rea—
Lexa coughs, her vision blurs and the fire seems to creep closer, it seems to consume patch after patch after patch of unconsumed rock and concrete. Lexa considers using the tech again to force the flames back, but as she looks back down the hallway she can still see a way out, she still see a clear path. And it's a gamble, it's a risk, if she uses the tech now to give her time to think she won't have it to fight back the fire if she finds herself cornered.
It's simple, really. Lexa didn't get this far in life without taking risks, she didn't get this far in life without suffering just a little. And so she grits her teeth, looks at Entani and Ontari and tries to judge which one is the heaviest, the lightest one she knows she must drag behind her.
And so, with her mind made up she reaches for Ontari, she snarls and she lifts the woman onto her shoulders and Lexa's legs buckle for a moment as her head continues to swim, her knees buckle as the weight sinks into her shoulders and seems to swallow any and all oxygen she was getting. But she ignores the discomfort as she reaches for Entani's fur collar and grips it in an iron grasp. And for only the briefest of moments she wishes she hadn't sprayed them both, if only because it has made carrying them that much harder.
And it's awkward, it's horrendous, it's painful and something she doesn't think she'll ever do again. Lexa's legs burn with each step she takes, Lexa's face seems scorched and charred, even her vision seems clouded now but she tries to fight back the pain as she takes one step forward after another.
She thinks she hears a Ontari whimper, she thinks she hears Entani wince or gasp or make some noise. But she doesn't stop, she doesn't bother to check for their comfort. That can wait. That can wait for a time when flames aren't licking at their heels. It can wait for a moment when water is nearby and it can quench her parched mouth.
Lexa comes to that same wall of fire that had forced her to sprint through it and she knows this time she won't be able to make it without burning, she won't be able to make it without hurting Ontari and Entani more than they already are. But, as she looks down at Entani covered in that white spray, she thinks it just might give them enough protection from the flames.
She knows it will be unpleasant and she knows no matter how much her legs burn or how much her vision and her mind fades, she can't stop or she'll never move again.
And so Lexa runs.
Lexa braces herself as she rushes forward.
Ontari's body, spray covered and heavy upon her shoulders seems to kill at least some of the fire. Entani's body dragged behind her seems to at least stop the flames from licking at her back, and yet Lexa can't quite get free from the flames, she can't quite make it through the fire, through the pain, the searing heat, the burning and the hurt.
Lexa trips on something, she slips, stumbles or crashes through the fire and she hits the ground in a scorching blaze of embers and pain. But Lexa doesn't go down, she doesn't fall to her knees. Somehow she manages to skid forward, she manages to force her momentum forward enough that she surges through the last of the flames, the last of the heat and the last of the searing hurt.
Lexa's more than sure her hand gripping Entani's collar is burnt severely, she can't even feel it anymore. She's more than sure she can't even really breathe properly anymore. And she's more than su—
There's no way forward.
Flames roar up in front of her, flames swallow up the space she had just fled through and she finds herself trapped. The ground seems to crawl with slowly growing flame, the walls seem to be caving in on her, closing in, stalking her and hunting her with each passing second.
Lexa drops Entani's collar, she winces as hears Entani's head thunk against the ground, but she has bigger things to worry about. Lexa grips the tech in her hands, she aims the nozzle forward and she squeezes the trigger just the way Raven had shown her months ago. And for a moment, for the briefest of moments Lexa thinks it will work. The flames jump back, they shrink away from the spraying foam and she thinks they have a path forward, she thinks they have a way out, she thin—
No.
The flames surge forward, they wash her in a wave of heat and Lexa gasps, she turns her face and she tries to shield herself as much as she can from the heat only to be slammed onto her back by some invisible force.
She won't die in the Mountain. She promised herself long ago she would never let it take her.
Lexa gasps past the burning that surrounds her, she grips the tech in her hands and she feels fear. She feels real fear in that moment. The tech seems lighter than it had moments ago. But she won't die in the Mountain.
Lexa aims the tech forward again, she braces herself and she squeezes the trigger just like Raven had shown her months ago.
But this time?
This time nothing comes.
Lexa roars out in fury, she roars out in anger and disgust. Even the tech is hot to hold, its metal body too uncomfortable to cradle in her burnt hands any longer. In her fury, in her blinding rage Lexa throws it forward, she throws it away and maybe she hopes it explodes into a mist of fire killing spray. But it doesn't. She doesn't even hear it clanging against the ground as the roaring of the flames grows nearer and nearer and nearer.
Lexa finds herself trapped. She finds herself cornered in a hallway with fire to her back and fire to her front. Entani lies behind her, Ontari beneath her and she can't figure out a way out, she can't figure out a way forward.
Lexa won't die in the Mountain. She has too many things she wants to do before her fight is over.
She looks behind her in the hopes of finding a path back, perhaps she can retrace their steps, perhaps she can find an escape where once there was none. But all she sees is the blinding flash of flames as they grow and grow and grow.
Lexa won't die in the Mountain, she has too many people she wants to see again.
She looks forward, perhaps there's a door somewhere nearby, an office, a room she can rush into and seal herself in until the flames die. But all she sees is the blinding heat of a fire that gives no quarter and cares not for the suffering of mere mortals.
Lexa won't die in the Mountain, if only because she would very much love to see Ontari's expression when she wakes up to find she was saved by her.
She winces and gasps as flame licks at her body, as she bats it away only for the heat to swallow her hand.
Lexa won't die in the Mountain if only because she wants to see Gustus and Anya again, she wants to tell Costia how much she is proud of her for never giving up hope.
Lexa notices Entani's boot on fire, she reaches out, tries to put it out with the tail-end of her cloak.
Lexa won't die in the Mountain. She wants to tell Clarke how much she means to her, how sorry she is that she chose her people over her.
She looks down at the knife strapped to her thigh and she thinks she knows what she has to do.
Lexa doesn't want to die in the Mountain. There's so much more life she wants to live with Clarke, so many more nights of laughter, passion, lust and love she wants to share with her.
She grimaces as she pulls her knife free, she grimaces as she feels the burning heat of her handle laugh in her face but she knows her grip to be sure.
Lexa never wanted to die like this. Too many Commanders before her have been burned to death. Memories of their suffering was enough to scare her.
Lexa feels a wetness linger in her eyes. She hopes Clarke will forgive her for what she's about to do.
She pulls Entani and Ontari closer together, she thinks it only fitting that they stay as close together in death as they were in life.
Lexa knows she'll die soon, she doesn't see a way out, not this time.
She looks down at Ontari's face to see it pulled into an unconscious grimace. She looks at Entani only see pain contorting her features and she finds herself crying just a little more forcefully now. But the tears seem to turn evaporate before even given a chance at life.
Lexa's killed more people in her life than she can count. She knows how to make a death linger. She knows how to make it last longer than it should. She's seen the life bleed from someone's eyes in minutes, and she knows how to make it fade in seconds.
Lexa raises the knife in her hand, point facing down and she lets her gaze focus on Ontari's chest. She knows how to make it quick, she knows how to make it fast. She won't let Clarke's friends suffer in their final moments. She hopes Clarke will understand. She hopes Clarke will know she tried to save them.
Lexa knows what she has to do. And she'll turn the knife on herself after she's sure their fight is over. It's a better death than burning. She knows from experience.
And so, as the flames begin to consume them, Lexa closes her eyes and she smiles.
I love you Clarke.