"Ahh…", Lori sighed and looked at the sky, her arms behind her head.
"What a beautiful day."
And it was!
The grass was green, but a comforting green, one that looked like it was from an illustration in a storybook, one that felt like it was from simpler times, times when things were…
Better.
The wind blew through the trees, the soft breeze it delivered giving the teens a reprieve from the summer heat.
The sky was clear and blue, and Lori felt like she could touch the few puffy clouds that resided in its glorious spread.
Speaking of glorious spread…
As Lori grabbed a bag of bean chips and a hard boiled egg, she looked around the giant assortment of picnic blankets they had gathered.
Table after table were filled with delicious food: spicy Jalepeno peppers, mouthwatering Chocolate cake, scrumptious Sushi, sticky Pizza, Eggs of all kinds (scrambled, egg whites, fried, omlette, poached), yummy Burgers, ice cold Ice Cream (kept in tubs that were put in coolers), Garlic bread, Sausages, Hot Dogs, Mashed potatoes, Chicken, Fries, Turkey, Spaghetti, Pasta, Doughnuts, Cookies, Pies of all shapes and sizes, Tacos, Burritos, Corn on the Cob, Salsa, Rice, Mac and Cheese Bits, Jell-O, Bananas, Beef Stroganoff, Minestrone Soup, Canned Meat, an assortment of chips, you name it!
And that was without mentioning all the drinks, from soda and root beer to juices and punch.
It was a meal fit for a king, and the teens all leaped on to it ravenously.
Chaz especially.
"Oh boy…", he thought as he scooped up as much as he could onto his plate.
It wobbled with the weight of his desires, but he managed to keep its balance.
He licked his lips as he stared at his feast.
He wasn't sure what to start with!
The Spaghetti?
The Turkey?
The Soup?
The Canned Meat?
Chaz shrugged and just dug in, heaps of food entering his mouth in droves, his taste buds celebrating.
Endorphines filled his mind and he sighed, content.
Finally…
He was safe.
No one really understood him.
His Grandma thought he was faulty, and that he should better himself.
"You're wasting yourself, Chazwick!", she would say as he came back from work, exhausted and breathing hard.
"You could be so much more! But you're not!"
He cringed, the memory hurting his soul.
And it wasn't just her.
He didn't have many friends, and even the few he had seemed to like to point it out.
Dana was at least understanding (she never judged him), and Leni loved him for who he was…
He hoped.
But the others?
They didn't say it in front of him, but Chaz knew they thought he was disgusting.
Obscene.
Ugly.
He shoved another drumstick down, hoping it could silence the pain.
"Chaz, that's a lot of food. Are you sure that's ok for you? No judging, every body is beautiful, but you could probably lose a few pounds.", Carol asked, concerned for the boy she barely knew.
Never mind.
He could never have a break.
Carol felt bad about the comment, thinking that this was more of a Lori job, and she decided to abandon it.
"It's not like I could be his friend. I don't know how to even start. I probably ruined it.", she thinks sadly, and walks off.
Becky and Dana suddenly pass, heading towards the drinks, when they see Chaz.
"Hey little bro? How's the food treating you?", Dana asked cheerfully, seeing that her brother was sad.
She really didn't judge him, but she did secretly hope he'd cut down just a little.
Being a little chubby wasn't a crime, but she worried he'd get hurt one day.
Just like…
"I'm… Fine, Dana.", he lied, not daring to look at her.
Becky looked sympathetic, but she too agreed with Dana.
"Don't feel bad, Chaz. Enjoy yourself. Just try not to eat too much. You don't want to get breathless on the hike, right?"
No one knew this, but Becky and Chaz were closer than implied.
Chaz shared the Ace Savvy secret too, and he and Becky had each other's confidence.
He had done so much for her.
And she wanted to take away the one thing he had: Leni.
If she could give back something…
"You know…", Dana began. "The hikes could really help you get fit! You could lose a few pounds!"
Chaz rolled his eyes.
"I'll consider it."
Another lie.
But Dana was hopeful enough to fall for it, to Chaz's relief.
"Ok, Chaz! Bye!", she and Becky left him in peace.
Finally…
Some peace and qui…
"O.M.G, Chaz!", Whitney hissed as she passed the boy.
"Stop stuffing yourself! It's repulsive! You could use losing a ton of pounds!"
Chaz looked down, ashamed.
A tear welled in his eyes.
Was…
Was he really that detestable?
He felt his belly.
He wasn't thin, that was for sure.
He felt so…
Ugly.
Ugly.
Ugly.
He began to breath heavily.
Ugly.
Repulsive.
Disgusting.
Ugly.
Pig.
Gross.
Beastly.
Inhumane.
Ugly.
Animal.
Waste of space.
Nobody.
UGLY. UGLY. UGLY.
UGLY!
He looked around in fear and shame, and grabbed 3 corns in the cob, 4 hamburgers, 5 Hot Dogs and a ton of Ice Cream.
He sucked it up like a vaccum, waiting for its sweet release.
He closed his eyes, and he could see it.
The food.
It looked like Leni, but it felt more familiar.
More inviting.
"It's ok, Chaz…"
It smiled, and dipped the boy, making him giggle.
"You're safe…"
His heart beat slowed down.
"No one can hurt you here…"
The food caressed his cheek.
"We will never judge you…"
He closed his eyes and entered nirvana.
"For one… Reason… Only…"
He smiled.
"We're your only friends."
He…
Was safe.
Meanwhile…
Fiona sighed as she lazily rested on the back of a tree.
She still hadn't had one chance to talk to her friends.
Leni was taking selfies with… Everyone, and Mandee had lost her earring, so Miguel and Jackie were looking for it.
"You know, you could help them look for it.", her mind went, but she tried to ignore it.
What would trying do?
Would it actually help?
Of course not!
They clearly don't want to hang out with her!
Once they come to their senses, she won't be alon…
"Ugh, whatever!", she cried, annoyed, and she looked at her phone.
No charge…
Typical.
She groaned and looked at the others.
Miguel had found the earring, and he was asking Mandee where it's from.
Leni was taking a selfie with Luna and Sam, who were all goo goo eyes at each other again.
Fiona moaned and frowned.
She felt…
Small and insecure and…
Alone.
Yeah, ok, she felt alone?
Happy?
Jeez, some readers!
So maybe she needed company, since she felt so angry all the time?
Everything was always going wrong, she needed people to support her!
But what did she get?
Nothing, nada, zip!
Her two best friends were way too busy for her, and she was left with…
"Dana! They're surrounding my man again! Come, help me spy!", Whitney ordered.
Dana rolled her eyes.
"Not now, Whitney! I'm trying to find this butterfly that passed by! It was SOOO pretty!"
Suddenly, Dana tripped on Fiona's feet, and crashed to the ground.
Fiona didn't care about Dana, but she didn't want her to get hurt, so she picked her up.
"You ok, um… Dana, was it?", Fiona asked, having not bothered to memorize any names.
Dana nodded, despite the clear stars floating around her head.
"Yepsies! Just a little fall…"
Fiona then sat back down, which made Dana fall again.
"Oh, good. I didn't want to have to get you medical attention. Major oogies."
Fiona tried to close her eyes again, but Dana, who had gotten up, tapped her on the shoulder.
Fiona opened an annoyed eye.
"What now?", she asked, not liking the interruption.
Dana smiled cheerfully and asked matter of factly "I don't want to be a bother…"
"For someone who doesn't want to be a bother, you're doing a pretty terrible job.", Fiona shot back.
Dana laughed loudly, which grated Fiona's ears.
"Oh, that's a good one, whatever your name is!"
"Fiona.", Fiona remarked coldly.
Dana shook her hand, making Fiona's whole self shake, which annoyed her.
"Anywaysies…"
"Not a real word.", Fiona said.
"I'm looking for a butterfly. You've seen one?"
Fiona grunted, ticked off. She didn't need this now.
"Let me consult my brain."
Fiona pretended to call her brain with her phone.
"Hello? Yes? Well, what a coincidence! Me too!", she said sarcastically, and she hung up.
"You'll never believe this, but we don't care. Come back when we do, which is never."
She turned her back and closed her eyes.
Dana pouted, feeling bad, but she resumed her quest.
Whitney, in the meantime, hid behind a chair as she looked at Miguel.
"What a hunk! I must do something about this UNQUENCHABLE desire!"
She walked up to him, all cool like, and leaned on nothing, making her fall.
She got up, flustered, and smiled at him.
Miguel looked up from his phone and smiled back.
"Oh, hi. I don't think we've met. I'm Miguel!"
Whitney grinned creepily.
"I know. I'm Whitney. I'm… Kind of a big deal."
She posed fabulously.
"You probably already know of me."
Miguel shook his head.
"Uh, nope. Can't say that I do."
Whitney coughed, embarrassed.
"I mean, I hang out with Leni too, you know."
Miguel tried to think.
"H'mm… No, seriously, I can't say that I remember her mentioning you. But that's ok! We can meet now! I'm kind of hoping to add people to our friend group."
He pointed at Fiona, who was still trying to sleep.
"This is a friend of mine, Fiona. She's great! But she can be… Emotional. More than she's willing to admit. And I think she's a little clingy for me and Leni."
He then pointed at Jackie and Mandee.
"I quite like Leni's other friends, they have SUCH great taste, but Fiona hasn't really connected. Leni and I are worried."
Leni stepped in.
"Yeah, she could totes use another friend."
Miguel then turned to Whitney.
"Hey, maybe we could try you! Wanna do something after the hike? Maybe gossip? I can SMELL the drama in that drama club, if you feel me!", Miguel laughed at his joke, only to see that Whitney was still looking at him, now nervously.
"…I'm Whitney. I'm sure you've heard of me."
Miguel looked at Leni, and Leni shrugged.
"Ok… I'll see ya later, then.", Miguel said, and he returned to his phone.
Whitney backed off, and, when no one was around, screamed.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! I haven't been this awkward since kindergarten!"
She fidgeted nervously, her eye twitching.
"I've asked boys out before! What's wrong with me?"
Becky, meanwhile, was reading an Ace Savvy issue behind a fashion magazine.
It was one of her favorite issues, "The Cards Are On The Table", in which Ace revealed his identity to the world, after a major identity crisis.
She had always loved Ace's arc in the story: How after much self doubt, he finally forgave himself for his flaws and mistakes, and had accepted himself.
She held the issue grippingly, her eyes fixed on her favorite part: The press conference.
Spade Nifty entered the press room, a medium sized wooden podium big enough to shield himself from the potential judgment of the journalists.
His loyal sidekick, One Eyed Jack (real name: Sammie L. Johnson) was standing by his side, hoping the media circus would blow away.
Spade took a deep breath as he collected his notes.
He was so weary from his inner battle, he wasn't sure if he had taken his mask off.
Oh, wait, he was Spade.
The mask was still on, then.
"And now, Mr. Nifty has prepared a statement. He will not be taking any questions, thank you."
Spade cleared his throat, and prepared to lie through his teeth once again.
"It's been a while since I was in front of you. I figure I'll stick to the cards this time."
The reporters laughed.
Spade had a wry smile.
"Pun surprisingly unintended. Anyway, there's been speculation that I was involved in the events on a freeway and the rooftop…"
Leslie Bibb, reporter, raised her hand with a smug expression, breaking the no questions rule immediately.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Nifty, but do you honestly expect us to believe that Ace Savvy is not affiliated with you in any way, despite your constant attempts to help him out against the cities wishes, and the use of Nifty Tech, that your company didn't report…"
Spade, annoyed with the interruption, stopped her question.
"I know that it's confusing…", he gave her a smug smile. "It is one thing to question the official story, and another entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero…"
Bibb, noticing the slip, moved in for the kill. "I never said you're a superhero."
Spade stopped, taking this in.
"You didn't?"
She shook her head, loving this.
Spade backtracked, trying to recover the speech.
"Well, good, because that would be outlandish and…"
He hesitated.
"…Fantastic…", he said, his heart rising at the idea of being…
A hero.
But he had to maintain the lie.
"I'm just not the hero type, clearly. With this… Long list of character defects and all the mistakes I've made, largely in public."
Jack leaned into his ear and whispered.
"Just stick to the cards."
Spade nodded, but not very convincingly.
"Yeah, okay."
He cleared his throat and raised the final statement.
"The truth is…"
He thought.
What was the truth?
He took a moment, and his mind raced.
He thought of all the mistakes he'd made.
He thought about how badly he wanted to earn his existence, how badly he wanted to justify his birth.
He thought of how he wished he could be…
Greater.
Someone else.
But…
He was, wasn't he?
Hadn't he proven that?
As he put the card down and looked at the crowd, his mind made up, he realized.
"I'm not Spade Nifty…", he thought.
He looked at everyone dead in the eye, and said…
"I am Ace Savvy."
As the press erupted, Ace smiled.
He WAS a hero.
Becky whispered the words as he said them, engrossed.
If only…
She looked at Leni.
If only she could be that.
Herself.
Her real self.
But…
What was the point of being Becky if she wasn't happy?
She sighed as she hid herself again.
It was safer behind the comic.
It was safer to hide.
That way, no one would judge her.
Least of all her.
As all this happened, Luna and Sam both gazed at each other awkwardly.
The two teens desperately wanted to confess their true feelings, but a wall was still between them.
"Come on, Luna! You know what you feel! Just go and tell her!", she demanded, but it was like her legs were made of cement.
She tried to lift her arm over Sam's shoulders, but it was like time had slowed down.
"Time's in a bottle!", she thought, and she tried to move her arm faster, but she accidentally wacked Sam.
"Owch!", Sam cried.
Luna gasped, cursing herself for the mistake.
"Sorry, Sammie! It was an accident."
Sam, rubbing her head, smiled despite the momentary pain.
"It's ok, Lunes. I know you didn't mean to."
Luna turned away, feeling very blue.
"I love her so much. I love everything about her.", she thought, staring at the sky.
"Why is it so hard to make her feel as special as she makes me feel?"
It seemed like it should be easy.
A simple kiss, a small, insignificant price to make Sam feel an ounce of the gratitude Luna had for knowing her.
But it somehow felt like the hardest thing in the world.
She didn't deserve such a treasure.
She was just Luna Loud.
How could she ever be good enough for Sam?
As Luna spiraled, Sam was thinking the same thing.
She couldn't stop thinking about it: How much she wanted to kiss Luna, caress her, feel her soft breath as she told her that everything was going to be ok.
She would never judge her.
Sam could never understand how Luna thought that she was a talentless nobody.
Sam wished she could be as cool as her moon.
She wanted to put Luna in her pocket and protect her forever, never let her go.
Keep her safe.
Love her, like she deserved.
But…
She was just Sam.
She was not as good as Luna, she never could be!
It was clear who the next big star was!
Could she ever be good enough for the greatest girl in the world?
"Hardly", she thought sadly.
She sighed wearily as she turned her back on the girl she adored so much, the girl she would die for in an instant.
"If I could begin to be half of what you think of me…", she thought, a tear streaking down her cheek.
Meanwhile, Lori surveyed the area.
Everyone seemed so mopey, depressed, sad.
Like they all had raging storms inside them, problems and conflicts they had to overcome.
"Oh no.", she thought as she recognized a familiar feeling.
She was getting all motherly again, wasn't she?
That was her big problem, it seemed: Even though she wanted to have fun for herself, and she wanted to be selfish and think about what SHE wanted, her conscience would kill her for doing so.
They NEEDED her.
They needed a savior, a great, all knowing figure to swoop in and save them, to be kind and listen, to solve ALL their problems!
They needed a superhero…
"Ew!", Lori thought as a spider jumped on her.
She swatted it away before it could bite her.
"Stupid spider.", she thought, and then she went back to her monologue.
This trip was important.
She was the only one who could make it fun.
The others were too young, or too vain, or too irresponsible to do that!
Only Lori could help them, only Lori could help the world!
It was her responsibility, and no one else's!
A small voice tried to convince her that it wasn't all hers.
She could take a break sometimes, enjoy the summer.
She didn't have to be the hero…
"NO!", she said to herself.
She HAD to.
It was her role.
Lori was the big sister, and she had to help her family…
That is, her friends, have a great summer.
If not, she might never forgive herself.
She sighed.
"What else is new?", she thought, and she walked up to Smiling Stan.
Stan was busy loading his hiking bag, and he was singing a merry old tune.
"I'm ok,
I'm ok!
Don't see why
I'd be sad today!
Because I'm ok!
I'm ok!
This smile is here to stay!"
Lori tapped his shoulder, causing him to scream and drop his bags.
"Argh! Save me! Oh, it's you, Lori!", he said and chuckled.
"Didn't see ya there! What's up?"
Lori pointed at the campers.
"My siblings… I mean, my friends seem a bit down.", she said, protectively grasping her right arm with her left hand.
She looked at Stan with hopeful eyes.
"May I have your permission to take them out on a hike? I feel like it could really help!"
Stan smiled and nodded.
"Sure thing! Nothing better than making people happy, is what I always say!", he crowed proudly.
Lori nodded.
"OMG, I know what you mean. If you don't, then they don't look up to you. They don't see that deep down, you do mean well. Cause I do want to be a great big sister, but I'm afraid that my anger issues and bossiness has made them distant, and they won't love me anymore…", she stopped herself, and pretended to smile.
"I mean, I'm fine! I'm not insecure about my destiny at all!"
She whispered to herself, feeling her heart hurt.
"…I'm not a bad person. Not at all."
She looked off into the horizon.
A tear fell down her cheek as she remembered all the times she had been terrible to others.
"I'm not a bad person…"
…
"…Right?"
Author's Notes:
I saw a comment stating that Whitney is mean to her friends. Yes, she is, but give her some time. She might not be as bad as you think.
Meanwhile, here's the second chapter! Next time, some of the kids are going on a hike, and some are staying for a truth or dare game, which is the subject of Chapter 3.
1. Yes, that was a total Iron Man reference, but can you blame me?
2. Lori is struggling with her responsibility. She wants to have fun, but she feels like she has to be everyone's big sister, especially after she understood that she had been quite bossy over the years.
See you next time! Read and review!
SpongeGuy.