At 5 AM SHARP, a bugle was sounded in the camp, stirring everyone from their slumbers.
Some responded positively, surprised at the sight of dusk and dawn mixing and matching.
Some responded negatively, trying to grab a few more minutes of sleep.
And some…
"Like, whatever."
Didn't care.
Ruby was lying in her tent, hands resting behind her head, as she looked up at the early morning sky.
She momentarily stood up to release her hair from her braid, using a pocket mirror to do the job. She struggled to at first, which annoyed her.
"Stupid, thick hair! Why does it always get stuck? Why is it so thick?"
She finally managed to set it free, the wavy strands now resting on her shoulders and chest.
She sighed wearily, not excited for the coming week: Yesterday she had been dared to be… (Shudder!) Nice for a week.
"Like, a whole week!", Ruby complained internally, dreading the challenge.
Ruby was used to being left alone to her own devices: She was in her bubble, the rest of the morons shared theirs.
Ruby was used to sleeping late in the summer, looking at her phone the rest of the time, and if there was any time left, reading…
Plays.
Ok, she read plays, happy?
Fucking nosy people 'round these parts.
"Like, they're stupid. I just read them to kill time."
Ruby was sort of an expert on that.
She had been commiting Timeslaughter for about 14 years now.
"But, like, none of that, like, matters now.", she grumbled, clenching her fists. "Now I, like, need to, like be nice and shit. Like, so unfair!"
But Ruby knew that the dare was binding. She had agreed to the rules beforehand, she knew what she was getting herself into.
"Men at some time are masters of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.", she quoted, before cursing herself.
She was not some bookworm, she was no worm!
Not even a small worm.
Ruby sighed. It was hard to not care about anything when your classmates dare you to be nice.
"Well… Might as well get it over with. "What fates impose, that men must needs abide; It boots not to resist both wind and tide"."
She silently cursed herself again, and looked around the empty tent.
Spencer had asked if they could share her stuff, and she had denied him because…
Well, because he sucks and she gave a rat's ass if he had his shit or not…
But, well…
She didn't really have anything with her.
Outside of her phone (which was already safe and sound in her pocket), Ruby had only brought the bare bare essentials: Heaps of clothes (Thank GOD there were washing machines in the bathroom areas!), first aid kit (you never know when some moron sends you to the infirmary) and…
That's it.
Definitely it.
…
Don't look in the bag. There's nothing there.
"And I will, like, kill you if you do.", Ruby spoke to no one in particular.
A regular occurrence, a hobby if you will.
The bugle sounded again, and Ruby huffed, eyes rolling.
"Like, can't wait for, like, the FUN activity of the day!", Ruby sarcastically commented, jazz handing in fake enthusiasm.
"Ruby! Remember the dare!", a voice that turned out to be Spencer called from the other blanket.
Ruby shook her head in frustration. She had forgotten that they were sharing tents.
"And, like, of ALL partners, I, like, got the, like, one I, like, hate the most, who, like, just so happens to, like, also be the one who dared me!"
Ruby wanted to take the cruel mistress fate on a trip to beatdown town, but unfortunately, fate is an intangible concept, and Ruby couldn't punch that no matter how hard she tried.
Not wanting Spencer to see her with her hair down, she quickly braided it back.
Spencer got up from his blankets, and immediately groaned.
The night had apparently been humid enough, as he had pit stains everywhere, and his shirt was soaking wet.
"Darn it!", he called out, and he looked for a replacement shirt.
…Oh crap.
Spencer knew that he could go to Parvanna and ask for a shirt…
But he also knew that Ruby was now under the effect of the dare.
And this was his chance to get her to stop being so mean!
"Perhaps sweating like a sinner in church actually helped!", Spencer thought happily, and he turned to Ruby, who was still adjusting her eyes to the morning sky.
The sun was going to rise any minute now, and it was going to be bright as hell!
"Um, Ruby…", Spencer began, a little tentative, but still daring enough to pursue his goal.
Ruby's surly face met his unsure eyes and she grunted in response.
"Ok, I'm not dead. So far, so good.", Spencer thought, and he cleared his throat. "I was thinking…"
"There's, like, a first.", Ruby shot back, a little bit of resentment in her voice. Spencer wondered why.
"Um, yeah. Well, you see… I kind of sweated out my shirt, and I need another one."
Ruby crossed her arms. "Um, like, last I remember, I told you you, like, can't have my stuff."
"It's sharing, and last I remember, you were dared to be nice for a week.", Spencer retorted, feeling a little braver thanks to the power of the dare. "That, I believe, includes me."
"Like, I don't care! You're, like, not getting one of my, like, shirts!", Ruby said, finding her voice a little too loud.
She quickly buried it under another "Whatever" or two, lifting her phone to hide her true face.
Spencer sighed, tired of being the brunt of Ruby's lack of… Well, everything.
"Ruby, come on! You can't disrespect the dare!", Spencer said, sounding more like a 6 year old who wants to play freeze tag properly than a 14 year old.
Ruby moaned quietly and turned to him, frustrated.
On the one hand, she wanted to fight.
On the other hand, she knew that that would be displaying emotion, and it was bad enough to have to be nice and to… Care!
Ugh, it made her sick thinking about it!
But she had no choice. She had to do it.
Drowning her anger, she returned to her phone and pointed at her heap of clothes. "Take one of my shirts."
She then pointed a violent index finger up. "One!"
Spencer nodded, happy that she was playing along. "Thank you."
Ruby grunted in response.
Spencer wagged his finger playfully, eyes closed. "Uh uh uh! What do you say?"
Ruby was this close to saying something way ruder, but alas, the rules prohibited that. "You're… Welcome…", she said through gritted teeth.
Spencer beamed cheerfully and walked off towards the clothes bag while Ruby groaned once again.
This was going to be way harder than she had thought.
After a few moments of searching, Spencer popped up with his new shirt, admittedly feeling a little ridiculous.
"Um, Ruby?", he asked, feeling really sheepish.
"Like, what now?", Ruby asked, turning to find the very ridiculous sight of Spencer wearing a "Party Bitch" shirt.
"…This was the only one that fit.", was his lame response, half shrugging half fearing embarrassment.
Ruby couldn't help it, chuckling for a second. "I guess you should have thought of that before you decided to take from my clothes pile."
Spencer nodded sadly. "I guess I'll have to go to Parvanna next time."
Ruby didn't know why that made her feel bad for a second. Not only did she despise Spencer, but that shirt did NOT fit his style.
"Probably just really early.", she reasoned, when suddenly Parvanna rushed by and peered into the tent.
"Guys! The others are back from the woods!"
Spencer and Ruby both turned at that. Even Ruby had been a little concerned at the wellbeing of their fellow campers, so this was potentially great news.
Spencer asked a cautious question, fear and concern lacing his tone. "They're… No one is…"
He couldn't even finish, the idea of someone being dead killing his insides, despite no emotional connection to any of the ones gone.
Parvanna happily nodded, albeit hurriedly: Well behaved people weren't late for such things.
"No one is hurt, Spencer! They're all fine!"
Spencer sighed in relief, and Ruby was startled to realize that she was holding her breath until now.
"Now, come on! We don't want to be late!", Parvanna instructed, and Ruby and Spencer started to leave.
"Nice shirt, Spence!", Parvanna complimented, and Spencer smiled sheepishly.
"Thanks, Parvanna."
Ruby rolled her eyes. Being nice to fools and half-wits was, like, the absolute worst!
The rest of the campers in the tents are (Jackie, Benny, Leo, Lyberti, Amy, Rex and Shannon) were already stationed and ready to reunite with their friends when Ruby, Spencer and Parvanna arrived.
"Did we miss them?", Parvanna asked as she lined up next to Jackie.
"Thankfully not. What took you so long?", Jackie asked, a clear dig at her sort of rival.
Parvanna cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Well, I was getting Spencer and Ruby down here. What were you doing?", she asked, a finger prodding Jackie's chest.
Jackie lifted her nose in the air, refusing to concede. "SOMEONE had to protect Rex from Amy."
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!", Rex screamed, hiding inside Benny's shirt, while Amy slashed and scratched, trying desperately to reach her treacherous boyfriend, and only just being stopped by Jackie's outstretched hand.
"Luan can't get here sooner enough.", Benny sighed, hating being in the middle of things.
How cool would it be to have camoflague now, instead of acting as a human barrier.
Parvanna sighed, arms crossed, staring straight at Jackie, who stared back with the same intensity. "You know, that hardly seems as important."
"Just because it's Rex doesn't mean it isn't important!", Jackie shot back, eyebrows narrowed.
"Um, ouch!", Rex commented.
"Fair though.", Benny dryly commented.
Shannon laughed at all this stupidity. "Oh, the folly of all you "popular" kids: While you get into all this stupid drama, I will enjoy NOT being cheated on by my book on this area's foliage."
She excitedly flipped to the next page. "Ooh, ferns! A fave of mine!"
Amy, still spitting venom, maliciously turned to Shannon. "Oh my, my dear Shannon. Did you already forget that you have to bear Rex for a whole week?"
Shannon gulped. All that drama was now coming her way?
"My life is trash…", she bemoaned, burying her head in her book, hoping that the colorful illustrations could distract her from reality.
Meanwhile, Jackie and Parvanna both turned their backs to each other, and at the same time, wondered why the other was being so competitive.
Suddenly, everyone's attentions were taken as the sun's rays rose, bathing the area in bright, almost blinding sunlight, as Smilin' Stan's jalopy honked and sputtered from the horizon, a bright smile on his face despite the terrible events of the night.
"Jeez, he's such a weirdo that he's still smiling after all that?", Jackie asked out loud, and a bunch of heads nodded in agreement.
The jalopy slowly but surely grinded to a halt next to the other campers.
frowning frank arrived next to the already present campers, his frown still present, but an odd look in his eyes.
Worry? Perhaps. He could be fired from his job, so that was probably it.
"Hey, fellow campers! Your friends are safe and sound, as you can see!", Smiling Stan called out, still oddly pleasant, the only sign of a different emotion being the stress marks round his eyes.
The doors fling wide open, and out came all the hikers: Leni and Chaz, holding hands, the latter with an unusually determined look on his face; Luna and Sam, the two still flustered next to each other; Whitney, Dana and Becky, the former looking a little pissed and the latter looking a little scared; Miguel, a little relieved; Fiona, seemingly at peace; Luan and Maggie, the former her usual happy self, albeit stealing glances at Maggie, who tried her best to ignore the odd girl; Mandee, looking very lost as usual; Carol, looking back with concern; and finally, Lori herself, a marked contrast to the Lori who left.
She felt small, her arms protectively surrounding her body, her steps uncertain, her face hiding in plain sight.
Her eyes avoided judgment, except from herself.
frowning frank stepped up to talk to Smiling Stan.
"no one hurt?", he asked, a tone of disinterest, yet questioning.
Smiling Stan shook his head positively. "Nope!"
Despite his smile, one could tell that he too had been very worried.
frank nodded curtly. "good."
He eyed Lori, who passed him with an ashamed look.
He narrowed his eyes in thought. "h'mm."
He then turned back to Stan. "and the parents?"
Stan proudly pointed at Lori, who was joining up with the others. "Lori here called all the parents and explained to them that it was her fault."
"bullshit.", frank commented immediately.
"Of course it's hogwash, but she did manage to convince them to stay, albeit with extreme measures of safety enacted."
frank nodded. At least THAT was sensible.
But he'd have to keep an eye on this Lori. That look on her face was all too familiar.
As the campers reunited, asking each other if they're ok, and what the hell happened there, Benny beamed when he saw Luan approaching, her sunny disposition managing to clear his grey skies as per usual.
He walked up to her, a little too excitedly, and thanks to that and a distracted Luan looking over her shoulder, they bumped into each other.
"Whoops! Sorry, Luan.", Benny apologized, sheepish now, a small blush on his face.
Her face was near his shoulder now.
He had never been this close to her…
Except, of course, for the kiss before and during the play.
But that was a month ago!
And ever since, they hadn't managed to…
Talk it out.
Benny was honestly unsure if he and Luan were dating or not.
Not that he was pushy! Far from it!
He wanted whatever Luan wanted!
But that didn't mean he didn't want to know.
Suddenly, Benny felt a person walk over him, and he looked up just fast enough to see that it was Maggie, who was slowly making her way to the bathroom area.
Luan was also looking up, still curious about the girl.
She wasn't going to piss Maggie off again, but she couldn't help but wonder what her deal was.
Perhaps there was a way to talk to her without annoying he, but right now…
"Luan!", Benny suddenly shouted, calling for her attention.
He had already stood up, while she was still down on the ground.
Luan woke up from her stupor, got up, and looked at Benny, who seemed confused.
"Why are you shouting? I heard you the first time.", Luan asked, bewildered by this.
Benny gripped his arm. "Um… I actually called you five times. Including now."
"…Oh.", was Luan's response.
They both looked at each other, pretty shy now.
"…I… I wanted to know if you're ok.", Benny asked.
"I… I am.", Luan answered, which was sort of true, despite all the wolves and Maggies plaguing her mind.
"…Are you?", she asked Benny.
"…Yep.", Benny answered, despite his questions over his relationship with her.
"Cool.", they both said at the same time.
It was… Really awkward.
Luan didn't know yet what she wanted: Benny was a hunk, no doubt about it.
But was she ready for such a commitment?
And that was without all the stuff she went through the last day!
Should she focus on making friends? Understanding Maggie? Hooking up with Benny?
Luan just didn't have an answer.
Not even a joke!
So, resorting to her last strategy, she weakly smiled and said "Well, I better go to the bathroom area. Gotta "Brush" past you to brush my teeth! Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it?", she asked, a little less confidently than usual.
Benny chuckled, but his cheeks still flushed red. "Yeah… Good one."
Luan walked off, stumbling as she approached the bathroom area.
Benny sighed morosely when she was out of sight, feeling small once again, the wind slightly bouncing off of his curls, giving him an uncomfortable shiver.
"Oh, Mrs. Appleblossom…", he talked to his beloved marrionete, which he suddenly removed from nowhere. "Always the setup, never the punchline."
"Benjamin, darling, you have to be more proactive in your quest for love!", Mrs. Appleblossom replied.
Benny sighed. "I know, Mrs. Appleblossom, but Luan doesn't seem to want to spend time with me."
"She's probably just distracted, my child.", she said, and Benny got the marrionete to caress his cheek.
Benny smiled softly. "Yeah, you're probably right. And I don't want to FORCE Luan to be with me. I want to do right by her!"
He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "But how?"
"Well, not to get too big for my britches, but I do have some romantic experience!", Mrs. Appleblossom declared.
"Really?", Benny asked, eyebrows raised.
"Oh, yes! His name was Reginald Lancaster the third! Why, I charmed him so effectively, he swore to never "leaf" me!"
Benny giggled at his own joke, feeling a bit better. "Ok, that was a good one, Mrs. Appleblossom. But jokes aside, what do I do?"
"Benjamin, play to your strengths! Make her laugh, like you did once!", she offered, and Benny enthusiastically nodded. "That's a great idea!"
"Oh, I try!", Benny imitated her voice.
"Oh, you do try! On my nerves!", he retorted, and he slapped his knee, an unamused expression on Mrs. Appleblossom's face.
Benny then returned to business. "Anyhow, make her laugh is a plan, but how? As I said, she doesn't seem interested in hanging out."
Suddenly, Benny got bonked by Smilin' Stan, who was not looking where he was going.
"Whoops! Sorry, Benny!", Stan apologized, a cheery disposition still masking his tone.
Benny rubbed his head as Stan picked him up, but he smiled reassuredly. "No problem, Stan! I didn't see you there too!"
As Benny dusted himself off, he noticed that Stan was picking up a bag containing a swimsuit.
"Hey, what are those for?", Benny asked, helping Stan pick them up onto the grown man's hands.
Stan grinned in response. "Oh, just my swimsuit! For today's fun activity, we're going swimming in the lake! We'll even have a competition!"
Benny was actually quite pleased to hear that: Swimming sounded relaxing and fun after the slightly disastrous day that was yesterday.
However, there was another reason he was excited, one that Stan would deliver in a moment.
"Oh, and the competition will be done in pairs, so you better find a partner!", Stan informed him.
"Swimming, eh?", Benny asked, a plan concocting in his mind.
"Yep!", Stan replied.
"Competition, eh?", Benny responded in the exact same tone as before.
"…Yep.", Stan replied, a little puzzled now.
"Yep, eh?"
"…Yes?"
Benny looked up at his confused face. "Oh, excuse me. Just Rule of Three."
Stan nodded, understanding and soon he was on his joyous way, whistling a merry tune.
Benny excitedly looked at Mrs. Appleblossom. "Mrs. Appleblossom, did you hear that?"
"I was "logged" in to the chat, yes.", she quipped.
Benny's eyes sparked as he talked, his heart swelling with hope. "Swimming in pairs? This is perfect! Why, Luan and I are UNSTOPPABLE as a duo! And it's a perfect chance to make her laugh!"
"But Benjamin, how will you convince her to pair up with you?", she asked.
"Oh, please, Mrs. Appleblossom: Luan might be distracted for now, but she'll HAVE to focus when we swim! And, I mean, who else will she choose for her partner? All I need to do is ask her nicely!"
"And if she says no?"
Benny gulped. Of course that was an option. And unlike other "people", Benny would never force Luan to be his partner.
"Well… Then I'll have to wait for another chance. I want Luan to be with me if she wants it."
But he quickly perked up, optimistic over his chances.
"But there is still hope! I'll make Luan happy again, and then we'll…"
"Lock lips?", Mrs. Appleblossom asked, eyebrows wiggling.
Benny objected immediately. "What? No! Of course not! We're not there yet! First we need to truly establish a friendship of love and trust before we can even CONSIDER a romantic relationship."
He pointed his index finger with his eyes closed as he imparted the following lecture: "After all, long lasting and meaningful relationships cannot be laid only on foundations of momentary romantic passion, and must be backed up with countless cherished days of affection and care."
Mrs. Appleblossom blinked in confusion.
Benny cockily smiled. "Oh, I read that in "Ladies Home Journal" last time I was at the dentist."
"Oh, brother.", Mrs. Appleblossom replied.
Benny waved her off. "Now, off to make Luan laugh!"
He ran off over to the bathroom area. "Once I learn how to swim, of course!"
Rex tentatively approached his and Amy's tent, fearing the worst as he peaked his head in.
To his right, Rex spotted bags and bags full of clothes, make up equipment and shoes. Despite the abundance of said items, there was no order to them. Wildly different colors adorned the assorted objects, the lip gloss sticks had dried up a long time ago, and even the less bright than average Rex knew that Amy didn't wear most of this stuff.
It was quite the mess, both literally and figuratively.
To his left, Rex saw a more familiar pile: His own.
He had made sure to pack as much sports equipment as possible, from tennis rackets and golf clubs to top of the line basketball shoes and that Michael Jordon Spots Drink from "Space Jam".
Surely it wasn't just water! All those other guys who thought he was mad were fools!
…Moving on.
But of course, it was the chair in the middle that attracted Rex's attention the most: Perched on it, her back to him, only her ginger curls present to his view, was Amy.
She seemed to be filing her nails as she sat in silence.
"Ow! I broke another one!"
Quite badly, too.
Rex gulped, fearing the coming storm: Ever since he had flirted ONCE with Jackie…
(Crickets)
Ok, ok, so he might have done it a FEW times.
Anyhow, ever since, Amy had gradually become angrier and angrier, clingier and clingier, shouting at him every time he even dared look at the knockout girl.
"And, ok, I might have overdone it.", Rex thought as he slowly slinked in to the tent, careful not to hit his head on the roof. "But so what? If it means she'll stop shouting at me, I'll stop, fine. But I was just checking out a good looking girl! That against the law?"
One thing was for sure: Rex may not be absolutely happy ever after with Amy yet, but he'd take her over… Shannon!
Just the thought of that ugly nerd being remotely close to him made Rex gag, which grabbed Amy's attention.
Amy, sensing his presence without even looking, addressed him with her back.
"Rex.", she uttered coldly, all emotion withdrawn from the sentence, though it took some effort.
Rex tried to choose his words carefully. Perhaps there was still a way to avoid this dare!
He'd have to put on the charm, though.
He took a deep breath, focusing. "Put your head in the game, Rex. Just like Dad taught you."
Rex smoothly strutted his way towards Amy, a smolder forming.
"Hey, baby! How's my little patch of heaven?", he asked, kissing her on the cheek.
It meant nothing, but it would do for now, surely!
Amy still didn't look at him, but Rex could now see that her eyes were sunken and puffy, and that black black lines decorated her eye lids.
Rex almost felt bad, but there was no time for any sympathy, except for the kind directed at him!
He had to escape this punishment!
Hoping that Amy had forgotten the dare, Rex ran his fingers through her hair. "Say, what do you want to do today, honeybunches?"
Amy still refused to give him a passing glance. "I'm not sure I feel like anything."
Rex decided to increase his odds with some extra flirtation in his moves: He kissed her on the neck a few times, still from behind the chair, whispering his words to add an allure to them.
His Dad had won over his Mom with that every time! Surely it would work!
But for some reason, Rex wasn't as good at it as his Dad.
"Oh (mwah) come on (mwah), Amy. (Mwah) Can't (mwah) a guy (mwah) treat his princess? (mwa…)"
But before he could finish laying that last kiss, Amy suddenly turned and viciously grabbed his collar, lifting him up to the ground.
"Woah! I didn't realize you had such upper body strength! Impressive!", Rex said, and it was genuine for once.
Amy was not humored by this though. "LISTEN UP, Prince Charming!", she huffed, nostrils flaring, eyes raging, a wildfire scorching Rex's soul. "If you want to have ANY chance with your precious "princess", you BETTER follow up on that dare!"
"Uh oh. Better play dumb.", Rex said, though if he was aware of his actual intelligence, he'd know that he didn't need to play dumb to come off as dumb.
Rex innocently shrugged with his voice, still up in the air.
"What dare?", he asked lamely.
Amy screamed at him whilst lifting him, making his hair flow backwards. "YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT DARE I'M TALKING ABOUT, REX LEE!"
Closing her eyes to calm down, she put him back on the ground, the jock still a little dizzy from all that wind blown at his face.
Amy opened her eyes and stared at him with narrow eyes, her mood serious and somber.
"I know that deep down, you do care about me.", she said, but the truth was that she didn't know at all. It was just easier to pretend.
It was always easier to pretend.
"But I also know that you are obsessed with getting that "Happily Ever After"! And for some reason, you think you can just waltz your way into another girl as if they're some prize to be won."
Rex shook his head. He didn't think that!
"What? No! I admit I love the ladies, but not like that…"
"You listen to me!", she shouted again, losing her cool. "You are going to learn that screwing with me or whichever girlfriend you end up having will cost you!"
She began pacing around the tent, making Rex feel smaller and smaller.
He hated that.
HE was supposed to be the one making the rules, HE was supposed to be the king of the hill!
"Great, now I'm letting her AND Dad down.", Rex thought sadly, a moment of genuine shame at hurting those close to him.
Amy stared back at Rex, still ultra serious. "So, you are going to do that dare, and you are going to commit! You are dating Shannon…"
She suddenly turned to the side, fists clenched, veins throbbing. "MY ARCH-NEMESIS!"
She then turned back, as if the cutaway had never happened. "…For a week."
Rex scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"You know, that doesn't sound so hard now that I think about it. We only go out once a week, so most of the time I just need to text her!"
Finally, a loophole!
But Amy was too fast for him. "Ah, ah, ah! It's no dare to just text her! You need to spend time with her 24/7!"
Rex protested, arms to the side. This hardly seemed fair!
"Woah! 24/7? Isn't that a bit much?"
"NOT if it makes you loyal to the girl you end up with!", she shot back, prodding him in the chest.
Rex nodded, though he still hated the whole thing. "And that's you, right?"
Amy once again answered with a "Sure" when she wasn't.
She then returned to her pacing, her mind working overtime. "Now, there are a few ground rules, which you will have to fill Shannon on."
Rex wanted to protest again, but he felt that that could piss Amy off again. And despite his lack of feelings for her, he didn't want to make her angry again.
Amy pointed her index finger. "Number 1: You really need to be in a relationship with her. Treat her like a girlfriend: Constant talking, hanging out, hand holding if needed."
Rex shuddered. "But… Nerdy hands!"
"And you will hold them as if they were the queens of the hand ball!", Amy retorted.
Rex rolled his eyes. "Vote must have been rigged."
Amy turned to him, wagging a finger. "However, as Rule Number 2 states: You cannot cuddle her or kiss her or woo her in any way."
Rex grinned confidently, hands on his hips, chest swelled. "Piece of cake, that rule!"
He flexed, winking at the camera.
Amy sighed. "Of all the popular hunks, I chose the one with a dry lip balm for a brain.", she thought sadly.
Amy then stepped up towards Rex, really furious now. "And most importantly of all: You will NOT try to flirt with anyone else!"
Rex crossed his arms. "Jeez, Amy, I flirted with Jackie like, a few times. I agree I fucked up, but it's not like I do it all the time!"
Amy stared into his eyes. Rex had never seen such intensity in them before. "Rex Lee… If you ever want that "Happily Ever After" you crave so much, you better learn to be humble, loyal and kind. Because if you don't…"
She lowered her voice to the harshest whisper.
"We're over. For good."
Rex wasn't sure he felt anything for Amy. He had sort of just gone with her when she asked him out a few months ago.
But for a moment, he felt the gravity of the situation.
He HAD to find his princess and castle in the sky!
And he would.
So if it meant trying to… Ugh… Introspect… Then he would.
Plus, Rex could see the beginnings of tears forming in Amy's eyes.
And even someone as self serving as Rex felt terrible for doing that to her.
He may not love her, but Rex did CARE for Amy.
So he would make things right.
At least… He'd try.
Rex saluted his GF. "You got it, coach!"
Amy almost wanted to giggle at that. Rex could be very charming…
When his head wasn't up his own ass.
"Now, get out!", she ordered, and he did.
Amy then sighed morosely and collapsed back onto the chair, feeling worn out.
She bowed her head, feeling some tears fall on her yellow scarf, her freckles looking damp on her cheeks.
"Oh, Rex…", she lamented, her heart breaking again.
"I've lost it all."
"So, I've been researching the topic since, understatement of the eon, I've never come close to having a boyfriend."
Luan nodded, trying to brush a hard to reach part of her teeth. She also had to be careful what with her braces, so it was hard to share her attention to the many things on her mind. But she did try to listen.
"Mhmm.", Luan said, mouth full of tooth paste.
"Now, it says here in my book on mating rituals in the animal kingdom that the male will usually perform some kind of "mating dance" before performing coitus with the female."
Luan, not exactly listening because Maggie was passing her again, half nodded. "Yeah, yeah, uh huh.", she said, waving the talker next to her off.
The voice continued, pushing their glasses over the bridge of their nose. "So, if my hypothethis is correct, I must prepare myself to mate with Rex?"
Luan, suddenly realizing what Shannon was saying, laughed uncontrollably, almost choking on her toothpaste.
She rolled on the floor, making Shannon a little embarrassed, before getting back up and wiping a tear of mirth.
"Hoo boy!", Luan finally relaxed, panting for air. "That may be the weirdest joke I've heard in a long time."
Shannon protested, arms crossed impatiently. "Luan, this is not a joke! I have no idea how this kind of stuff works!"
The two were in the bathroom area, a slightly dingy collection of toilet stalls with rusting wooden seats, cracked plaster walls, not very aesthetic sinks, and floors that were always suspiciously wet.
It smelt like bleach and poorly made porcaline.
Luan and Shannon were right next to each other, Luan spitting into the sink and Shannon now flossing her teeth angrily.
"You shouldn't do that, it'll make you bleed.", Luan advised.
"Don't tell me what to do!", Shannon said, before hurting herself.
"Ouch!"
Luan cocked an eyebrow. "You know, for someone looking for advise, you're a little opposed to it."
She pointed at Shannon's teeth. "It's not my fault you bit off more than you can chew!"
Luan let out her signature laugh while Shannon groaned.
"But I didn't bite off more than I can chew! My teeth are innocent in this whole matter!", Shannon protested and Luan nodded.
"True that."
"If anyone is guilty, it's Amy's disgusting, little miss perfect teeth!"
Shannon clenched her fist and her eyes got dark and stormy as she cursed her arch-nemesis.
"That monster won't rest until I'm 6 foot under, with a tombstone inscription that says "Least likely to be lit"!"
Luan looked at the camera. "That's going to date this story badly."
She then looked back at Shannon, who was still breathing heavily. "No offense, 'cause I do want to help, but out of curiosity, how come you came to me for help on romance? We've never talked, and I don't have any romantic experience."
She took out Mr. Coconuts. "The only dates she has are the ones in the grocery store!", she mimicked, slapping her knee with a grin.
Luan was genuinely confused, though. She had never even talked to Shannon, and suddenly the girl was coming to her for romantic advice?
Shannon blinked in confusion too. She raised a finger. "But aren't you dating Benny?"
Oh boy. Here comes the blush.
Luan's cheeks turned beet red as she hid her face, avoiding eye contact with the spectacle carrying bookworm next to her. "Um… Not exactly… I mean, I do like him, it's just… We did kiss that one time… And the play… But I also… Like… Um…"
Luan started to glitch, little sparks of electricity inexplicably coming off of her.
"Luan?", Shannon asked, puzzled and concerned. She didn't have any relationship with the comedian, or, well, anyone for that matter, but she did know that humans didn't do that kind of stuff.
"Luan? Terra to Luan?", Shannon snapped her fingers a few times, trying her best to catch the girls attention.
"Come on, Shannon, think! You're in the honor role for a reason!", she knocked at the sides of her head, hoping that some inspiration would burst out of her incredibly talented and cool brain.
"Yeah, brains are cool, deal with it!", she thought, looking at the audience before returning to the task at hand.
"Perhaps the best way to wake a comedian up is to set up a joke.", she thought, while Luan continued to glitch like crazy.
Tapping her chin thoughtfully, she observed her surroundings with analytical precision, searching for something, anything that could be funny.
"H'mm…", she murmured, when she suddenly noticed the tap in the sink.
A lightbulb with her face on it appearing over her head, Shannon smiled cockily and closed her eyes as she said "Luan, pray tell, what did the tap tell the sink?"
Luan woke up immediately and splashed the nerdy girl with some tap water. "Water" you doing?"
Luan started to laugh loudly, and after a moment of annoyance at being splashed, Shannon actually started to laugh too.
They calmed down and looked at each other with small smiles.
"That was actually sort of funny. You're pretty good at this comedy thing.", Shannon stated, water dripping down her nose.
Luan grabbed a nearby towel and wiped the girls face. "Thanks!"
Shannon then resumed her inquirey. "Now, what should I do? Trust me, I HATE asking for help, so this really is my last resort."
"Why would you hate asking for help?", Luan asked, bewildered. Asking for help was one of the most natural things you could do.
Shannon threw her arms up in the air, annoyed with her own uselessness. "I'm on the honor roll! I ace tests and assignments like a pro! I kick ass at Trivial Pursuit!"
"Weird flex, but ok.", Luan commented, leaning on the wall before backing off, realizing it could be very gross.
Shannon crossed her arms, a little shy now. "…I'm used to knowing how to deal with things. This… This is new."
While they had never interacted, Luan had seen Shannon a few times, especially yesterday, and she never seemed unsure. There was always an air of assurance to her, whether she was hating on Amy or stating a fact.
And Luan couldn't help but feel a little obligated to help: Shannon really did look like she needed it.
Putting a comforting hand over Shannon's shoulder, she tried to calm her down. "Look, I know this all feels weird, but it's not like you need to like Rex or anything."
Shannon sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness."
Luan chuckled. "Woah, I know that Rex is kind of a jerk, but still!"
Shannon got serious, separating herself from the comforting hand. "Well, he doesn't help, but it's not just him."
Luan stopped smiling and listened attentively.
"Everyone is always like "When are you going to find a nice boy?" and I'm like "Mom, Dad, I have a nice boy: His name is Francis Bacon, and he is my brain!"
Luan couldn't help but smile at that. "You named your brain?"
"And all my other body parts.", Shannon informed, before realizing that that was something only she did. "And I just realized it's weird."
Luan lifted Mr. Coconouts. "Chill, toots! This girl carries a dummy with her everywhere she goes!"
That DID make Shannon feel a little less odd.
Luan stopped joking and took a serious expression. "But seriously, if you want some advice: Give this a try. You never know: You might like dating."
Shannon nodded, trying to understand. "I see what you mean, and I'll admit I'm a tad curious, from a scientific viewpoint, to understand why anyone would subject themselves to anything but reading and research, but well, I just don't know."
Luan tried to encourage her. "Hey, no one said you have to like it! People don't need romance in their life to be happy! I just think that any new experience should be tried at least once!"
Luan then looked a little sad. "Besides, you seem a little lonely: Maybe that could help you."
Shannon nodded appreciatively, before adding "I guess I'm not that alone. Thanks for your help."
Luan beamed. "No problem!"
She then looked over at Maggie, who had been looking at a mirror the entire time they were talking. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to figure out this emo girl."
Shannon nodded and left, two odd feelings inside of her:
1. That Luan girl was kind of nice. Almost friendly like. She wondered if that was what friends were like.
And
2. …Why did she have this half disgusted half excited feeling over dating someone, even for a dare?
On the one hand, she feared it: Boys had never given her more than a passing glance, because "Nerds be ugly!", and she felt more comfortable with dusty pages and lonely libraries anyway.
Not to mention that Rex was…
"Moonwalking all the way to that nerd! Moonwalking! Yeah!", Rex "sang" as he "moonwalked" over to "that nerd".
…An idiot.
But at the same time, an excited knot was in her stomach.
She had never had a boyfriend before.
Who knows? It could be fun to be loved for once, even if it was a dare.
Rex stopped in front of Shannon. "…Say, if I take your glasses off, do you suddenly become super sexy like in the movies? It could make it a LOT easier to date you for a week."
Shannon sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, failing to believe that she was the same species as this ape.
"I deduce that this is going to suck ass."
Meanwhile, back in the bathroom area, Whitney was taking deep, soothing breaths, her eyes closed in concentration.
Miguel was with his back to her, filing his nails, completely absorbed in the act.
"Weird thing to do, but hey, nails are nails.", Whitney thought, admiring her own perfectly manicured nails with a dreamy look.
"But no time for this! I need to focus!", she ordered herself, her eyes trained on the object of her desire.
Whitney wasn't sure how to describe it; Miguel was just such a hunk!
That perfect hair, that simple yet elegant fashion sense, and the way he TALKS!
"Never have I seen such a mastery of teen slang! He's almost better than me!", Whitney said, emphasizing the almost of course.
No one was better than her, of course.
But a Queen NEEDS a King!
She sighed lovingly as she imagined Miguel swoop in with an elegant brown steed named Keith, offering her his hand.
"My love, we must ride to our happily ever after!", Dream Miguel offered, and Whitney felt the happiness she so obviously deserved finally handed to her.
"Totes Perfect!", she exclaimed as they rode off into the sunset, a chorus of angels singing her name.
It was just common sense: Whitney was the prettiest. The best dressed. The prom Queen. The bomb!
Did she not deserve a perfect boyfriend?
"It's ridiculously easy!", she thought, as she fixed her curls, trying to get them juuuust right. "All I need to do is say "Go out with me" and he'll say yes. Like, why wouldn't he? I'm me!"
Of course, there was the small problem of her tongue tied nature with Miguel.
"Ugh.", Whitney sighed, disgusted with such frivalities. As if she could ever be so pathetic as to be shy!
"It's probably just this sucky place. No place fit for a distinguished lady such as myself.", Whitney thought, raising her nose in the air.
She began to step towards Miguel. "Now, to get that dreamboat!"
Yet, for such a distinguished lady, Whitney couldn't help but trip on the floor boards and fall next to Miguel, her hair ruined.
"AAAGH!", she screamed, and she quickly got up and combed it back to its natural coif.
Miguel blinked in confusion as Whitney kissed her reflection in her personal mirror, saying "Poifect!", then, brushing the dust off her designer jeans, she leaned on the wall and winked.
"Hey…", she whispered seductively, almost purring.
"…Hey…", Miguel greeted back, confused by this entrance.
"So… Whatcha doin'?", Whitney asked with an eyebrow wiggle.
"…Filing my nails. Getting ready to take a whizz.", Miguel revealed, still wondering where this conversation was going.
"Cool, cool, say, you know…", Whitney started, preparing herself to ask him out.
"Just say it as it is: Hey, you sexy thing, want to go out with ME?", she instructed herself, and she opened her mouth...
"So, like, you know what's after day? Night! And night sounds like knight, though they're spelled differently, who knows why? English is SUCH a dumb language, I have clearly improved it over the years, but whatevs, what I was trying to say is that language is dumb, like my friend Dana, whose name starts with the letter "D", which is also the first letter of Deoxyribonucleic acid, a.k.a, DNA, and I think you have some fiiiiiine looking DNA, and, like, thanks to Natural Selection, we humans need to reproduce and shit, so, like, if I want to survive and junk, I, like, need to mate with someone HOT and you look pretty lit, so what I'm saying is, my favorite dry fruit is a date, and yeah."
Ok, now Miguel was even more confused.
"Um…", Miguel started, trying to comprehend what she just said. "…What?"
Whitney, realizing suddenly what nonsense she spewed, began laughing hysterically. "Oh, boy, I really need to stop eating all the sugar before bed!", she cried out, her eyes twitching and her teeth chattering.
"You… Ok?", Miguel asked, a comforting hand reaching her shoulder.
Whitney slapped it away. "DON'T TOUCH ME! I'M A MASTERPIECE IN NEED OF AN ANTI-VIRUS CHECK!"
She ran off, cackling, as Miguel just shrugged and returned to his nails.
"It's ok, babies. The weird girl is gone. I wonder what's her deal.", he thought out loud, looking out to where Whitney had run off to.
Whitney, meanwhile, was smashing her head on a tree. "What. The. FUCK. Is. Wrong. With. Me?!"
She began to cry dramatically, mascara tears falling like stones as she bemoaned her existence. "Oh! Woe is me! Why must I suffer in the pursuit of love?"
She shook her fists at the heavens. "No one has EVER suffered like me!"
Fiona passed Whitney and rolled her eyes.
"Drama queen.", she commented.
"Why, yes I am. Thank you for noticing.", Whitney bragged, missing the point.
She then took out a huge tub of ice cream and gulped it down.
"MIGUEL!", she screamed, gloops of Vanilla flying out of her mouth,
Fiona stared at her dryly, clicking her tongue.
She looked at the screen and lifted a sign saying "Pathetic, Isn't It?"
Suddenly, a second sign caught her eye, the aforementioned sign lifting next to her.
"Good one!", it said, and of course, it was Dana holding the sign.
This time, though, Fiona wasn't annoyed by the presence of the girl.
In fact, Fiona was quite pleased to meet the talkative teen here.
"Hey Dana.", Fiona greeted, a pleasant expression on her face as she raised her palm.
Dana gleefully waved. "Sup, Fiona?"
After the events of last night, Fiona and Dana had talked the night away, and while Fiona was still dead tired, she felt just a little less lonely, and that was better than nothing.
"I'll just hang around with her for a while until Leni and Miguel remember I exist.", Fiona thought, as she and Dana walked down the road to the bathroom area, Dana already ranting and raving about her love of Ben and Jerry's, Fiona just trying to reset her aching muscles, which begged for REM cycles.
"So, like, you feeling better?", Dana asked cheerfully as they entered the bathroom area, Fiona going to wash her face, Dana retrieving a comb for her hair.
Fiona nodded slowly as she let the room temperature tap water to run down her nose, neck and ears.
Little strands of hair covered her pupils, slightly blocking her view, and tiny droplets of H2O made her cheeks temporarily cool and soft, which felt nice.
The tension in her back and legs was still there, as were those black lines in her eyes, but somehow…
"As hard as that is for me to believe… Yes. I do feel a bit better.", Fiona said, looking back at Dana, who was scatting as she combed.
Dana beamed back. "Totes awesomeballs!"
Fiona was quick to cut her down. "I mean, don't get ahead of yourself, I still feel like crap, and I could honestly sleep for the rest of the summer if I wanted to."
Dana pouted. "That's less awesomeballs.
Fiona, however, knowing that Dana had tried to help, and appreciating it, encouraged her. "Hey, girl, you really did help a bit. But it's going to take a lot more than one slightly less irritating evening for me to get back on my feet."
Dana immediately asked "What do I need to do?"
Fiona couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Jeez, this weirdo really DOES want to help me, huh?"
It wasn't something that Fiona was used to; In fact, she found it kind of bizarre that ANYONE would care so much for someone that they would only think about helping them.
But it made her feel good. Feel wanted.
And Fiona hadn't felt that in a while.
A long time, in fact.
Fiona affectionately punched Dana's shoulder, smiling that small but genuine smile. "Let's see, 'kay?"
"Okie dokie!", Dana answered.
Suddenly, Leni also entered the bathroom area, her eyes darting from place to place, a puzzled frown on her face.
She looked inside a tap, a speck in the wall, and in Dana's mouth.
"Fiona, have you…", Leni started, but Fiona cut her off.
"Whatever it is, it's not in my mouth. And I heavily doubt it's in Miguel's mouth."
Miguel protested. "Hold on! Who's to say it's not in my mouth? My mouth, I'll have you know, won Royal Woods' "Most Likely To Contain Something Leni Is Looking For Inside It" award!"
He then presented the actual evidence, magazine cover, trophy and all.
"They really just hand that one over. My Grandma won one, and she was dead at the time.", Fiona whispered to Dana, who nodded understandingly as Leni approached Miguel.
"No offense to your award winning mouth, Miguel, but I doubt you swallowed Chaz this morning."
"WHO'S TO SAY I DIDN'T?!... Never mind, that's totes cray cray.", Miguel quickly backed off, entering the toilet stall to take a whizz.
Leni looked back in concern at an unamused Fiona and a helpful Dana. "Dana, do you know where he is?"
Dana shrugged sadly. "Most probably eating something."
"You against breakfast? You racist against Breakfast? You a Breakfist?", Fiona joked, but Dana explained.
"What? No! It's just he's overweight, and I KNOW that he feels bad about it. But no matter what I say, he won't stop hurting himself. He thinks that food is the only thing that can make him happy."
Leni would not stand for a sad Chaz. "Well, then it's up for me, Leni Loud, professional girlfriend, to help!"
Fiona groaned. "Oh, great, you're going off to see Chaz again?"
"Again? You mean I already did it today?", Leni asked, confused.
Had she? She may have forgotten.
Fiona sighed. Leni could be so dumb sometimes.
"No, you haven't, it's just that…"
"Oh, I didn't? Man, that was confusing! Well, I better go to Chaz, my increidible boyfriend who I love very much and I want to spend every single hour of the day with!"
Fiona shook with rage. She didn't know how much more of this she could take!
"Oh, mind if I join you?", Miguel asked, leaving the toilet stall with a smile. "I could give him some tips on losing weight!"
Leni happily agreed. "Sure! The more the merrier!"
Fiona was this close to snapping. Did they really not notice?
"…Ahem.", Fiona cleared her throat, getting Leni and Miguel's attention.
"Yes, Fiona?", Leni and Miguel asked, oblivious to her frustration.
Fiona crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. "Aren't you forgetting someone?"
Leni and Miguel looked at each other and then back at Fiona and Dana.
"Someone close to you?", Fiona continued.
Confused blinks.
"Someone who you see every day?", Fiona continued again, her voice getting growlier and more annoyed.
Leni and Miguel shrugged.
Fiona turned red in the face. "SOMEONE IN THIS FREAKING ROOM?!"
Leni and Miguel took a moment before getting it.
"Ohhh!", they said, figuring it out.
Fiona sighed with relief. Finally, someone listened to…
"Dana, you want to see if your brother is ok, too?", they asked Dana, who tapped her chin.
"I don't know, maybe it'd be easier and more successful if I don't…"
Fiona blew up, almost like a volcano, as she spat out venom.
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING ME!", she screamed, and suddenly, in a moment of pure instinct, jealousy and anger, she gripped Dana's arm hard, giving Leni and Miguel long hard stares.
"Hey, FRIENDS…", she emphized with disappointment. "Don't wait up for me. Me and my NEW BESTIE Dana are going to spend ALL DAY together, so don't worry about me being lonely or something, I mean, why would I be when I have SUCH GREAT FRIENDS LIKE YOU?!", she said, sarcasm lacing her every word, a mad look in her eyes.
Dana squeed. "I can't believe that I'm already your bestie! This feels kind of rushed. But who cares? It's not like this is some kind of story with plot structure!"
Everyone stared at the screen for a moment before resuming the scene.
"Come on, Dana! Let's enjoy being loyal to each other, and being there for each other AT ALL TIMES!", Fiona shouted, dragging Dana with her.
"Ow! Getting dragged on the floor hurts my butt!", Dana whined, cringing from pain.
She then saluted Fiona. "But it's worth it if it means I get to improve your mood!"
As Fiona and Dana left, Leni and Miguel cheered.
"Yay! She's got a new friend!", Leni crowed, smiling brightly and dancing with Miguel, who dipped her.
"You said it, girl! Now she won't feel so lonely when we can't be with her!", Miguel said, and the two high fived.
Leni then scratched her chin thoughtfully. "But we should hang out with her once we finish checking on Chaz. I have the weirdest feeling that Fiona thinks we're avoiding her."
Miguel waved her off. "Pish posh, sister! There is no way that that's true! After all, the only reason we didn't spend time with her yet was because she was with that Dana girl, and I was trying to help Mandee with… Stuff."
For some reason, Miguel couldn't confess what those things were, but Leni was very trusting and naïve, so she didn't find anything suspicious in that statement. "And I wanted to, but then the hike got off the rails!"
The two still agreed that they'd hang out with her asap, since they both felt terrible that they'd failed to yesterday.
"You think she's fine?", Leni asked, a hint of concern in her voice. "She looked pretty angry back there. Like Lori when I borrow one of her shoes. Or Lynn when someone says that wrestling is fake. Or Lola when I tell her that blackmail is a crime."
Miguel again waved her off as the two made their way up the hill to the newly erected tents for the campers who spent the night in the warehouse.
"Relax, girlfriend! It's not like not hanging out with her for a day would piss her off so much!"
"So, you expect me to eat you, eh?", Chaz asked the question with suspicion and outrage in his eyes, his shirt off and his pupils narrow.
He paced around the tent, a military helmet adorning his head. "Oh, silly, silly BLT sandwich!", he exclaimed, a hint of playfulness in his voice before suddenly jumping in front of the sandwich that was chained to a chair with a tear mark drawn on with a magic marker.
"YOU WILL NEVER BE EATEN!", Chaz bellowed, spittle flying from his mount onto the drying crust.
"Oh, sorry. My bad.", he apologized, wiping it off with a napkin. "Better?"
The sandwich didn't say anything, because it's a sandwich.
"Good!", Chaz replied to the nonexistent answer he had received, before resuming his tirade. "BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE A PEACFULL LIKE WITH MRS. FRIED EGG AND YOUR CHILDREN ORANGE JUICE AND MNM'S!"
He sat down in front of the sandwich with a pop gun, glaring at it with much hate. "You disgust me.", he uttered with disdain.
"Chaz?", a familiar voice was heard by the teen, questioning… Everything that was happening.
Chaz turned aside, aiming his gun. "Halt! Friend or food?"
Becky waved her arms frantically, bracing for impact. "Friend! Friend!"
Chaz lowered the gun once he recognized her.
"Becky!", he exclaimed, crushing her with a big bear hug that made her breathless.
"Chaz, I'll never find out why you've gone insane if you crush me!", Becky choked out, gasping for air.
"Oh, sorry.", Chaz sheepishly let her down, and while Becky gulped some needed air, Chaz showed her the tent.
"Well? What do you think?", Chaz said as he showed off the tent.
Becky surveyed the area, and whistled, impressed: Not a single drop of food (aside from the BLT) was present, and the BLT was tied up to a chair with… Chains, but still.
"Wow. Not a single crumb!", Becky exclaimed, smiling at Chaz.
"Not one! I haven't eaten since last night when I snuck that energy bar before the hike, so that's…", Chaz counted on his fingers. "Like 50 hours!"
Becky whispered in his ears after she calculated.
"…It felt like 50 hours.", he whined for a moment, but he quickly reverted to type.
"Well, whatever! It's still a good start!"
Becky nodded, proud of her friend. "It is! I am so proud of you! I would have probably just got into a cycle of guilt over how I could never change myself for the better, and I'd slowly eat more and more and more until I exploded, and when my carcass would be found, they would celebrate my death across the nation, not a single wet eye in the house."
Chaz snapped his fingers. "Becky, you're spiraling."
Becky slapped herself, returning to earth. "Oh boy, sorry."
Chaz patted her back sympathetically. "It's ok."
While he didn't know all the reasons for her low self esteem and guilt issues, Chaz did know that Becky HAD those issues, and he tried his best to help with the limited knowledge he had.
He had asked in the past, but Becky had refused to share, citing "Personal and Life Threatening issues".
"Well, I'm sure it's nothing that bad!", Chaz thought, not knowing how close to home it was.
Becky then looked back at Chaz, a proud smile adorning her lips. "Wow, Chaz, I knew you mean it last night, but man! You really have started a diet!"
Chaz put his hands on his hips proudly. "Well, as Ace Savvy says…"
They both heroically posed, the soothing image of the hero they loved so much comforting their guilt as usual. "You'll never know if you can be a hero if you don't try to be one!"
The two confidants laughed and fist bumped, a moment of unity and peace in an otherwise chaotic and nervous life.
Becky then twiddled her thumbs, that familiar guilt and shame already returning. "I must ask: How do you manage to not think about how much you want that one thing you can't have because if you do… You'll be the bad guy?"
She looked at him with almost pleading eyes, so desperate Becky was to not hut Chaz and Leni with her selfish disgusting feelings.
Chaz, unfortunately, had a very realistic response. "Woah, woah, Becky! I only just started! You think I'm not wishing I had some juicy steaks, or scrumptious hamburgers, or roasted marshmallows dipped with chocolate and caramal!"
Chaz began drooling and his stomach rumbled for the millionth time in the last few hours.
He suddenly sniffed Becky, catching the faint scent of a bagel with cream cheese.
"You smell like delciousness!", Chaz raved, and he began to lick the air.
"WHY DOESN'T THE AIR TASTE LIKE HOT DOGS, BECKY?! WHY?!"
Becky, seeing that Chaz was struggling, started slapping him.
"That's good! Do it again!", Chaz ordered.
"You sure? I don't want to hurt you. And Ace Savvy says friends are not punching bags!", Becky stated, wary of slapping her friend silly.
"Do it, Becky! Make my hunger suffer!", Chaz begged and, panicking, Becky slapped again, hard, making his cheek ring from the impact.
He nodded enthusiastically. "I think it's working! Now I hunger for revenge!"
"All right!", Becky pumped her fist, before connecting the dots. "Wait, revenge? You can't eat revenge!"
Chaz slapped her hard back. "That fucking hurt! Jesus Christ, I didn't want you to do it so hard!"
Becky got back up, wild look in her eyes. "Well, tough, we don't serve revenge here at McBeckys, just COUNTER SLAPS!"
She slapped back, and Chaz flew to the tent's end and then back at her, crashing into her body, sending the two to the ground of the tent.
The two began slapping each other over and over until they both realized what they were doing.
"Ok, stop!", they both shouted, and they got up and patted each other's cheeks.
"Sorry, man.", Becky said.
"Same here.", Chaz replied, and they sighed.
"I just can't stop thinking about food! How I hate it, how I love it, how it won't respond to mainstream torture methods!"
He got a creepy look as he started to near a burning match to the sandwich.
"Perhaps it's time I got more extreme…", he whispered harshly.
Becky, freaking out from Chaz's breakdown, knocked the sandwich aside, blew out the match and shook Chaz violently.
"Chaz, you've got to stop thinking about the object of your desires! You've gotta stop before you hurt your friends! STOP THINKING ABOUT LENI!"
Stopping herself, she said "I mean, stop thinking about food and…"
An idea came to her and she brightened up. "That's it! Start thinking about Leni!"
Chaz nodded, loving the idea. "You're a genius, Becky! Leni should distract me from all that incredible food that I could stuff inside me and feel guilty about!"
Becky sighed longingly, twirling a bit of her hair. "I know what you mean! How could anyone NOT be distracted by her golden hair and deep deep eyes and soft, beautiful lips…"
Chaz gave Becky an odd look and Becky backed down. "Like, I mean, I imagine that's what you see when you see her."
Chaz paused for a moment before nodding with a smile. "Yep! You nailed it! Don't forget her soft delicate hands that feel like clouds!"
Becky let out a yelp of pain. "I didn't need that, god.", she bemoaned.
Chaz began to leave, hugging his friend again, ,who could feel the embers of guilt torch her conscious again. "Thanks, Becky! Now you've helped me start my diet and persevere through the first hurdle!"
His voice got emotional as he tightened the hug, eyes closed and slightly welling up with tears.
"…You're such a great friend. I'm so lucky to have you."
Once again, Becky gulped and felt terrible as Chaz skipped outside.
"Now, off to my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend, whom I love very very much! How lucky I am to have a girl who loves me!"
Chaz finally disappeared and Becky sighed morosely, the tent now as lonely as her.
Becky sat down on the chair, taking the sandwich and eating it as she reflected on her stupid situation.
"Whatever am I going to do?", she moaned, swallowing the sandwich.
"…That's some good BLT."
She looked outside, wondering what was the right direction to go.
"…I don't know.", she told no one.
No one was ever there to answer.
She knew that she couldn't have Leni, no matter how deeply she wanted her.
And oh how she wanted her!
How she wanted to caress those dainty cheeks and kiss those perfect lips and whisper a promise to her over and over again, never leaving her side, always together.
Forever.
But no! Becky couldn't have that!
She could have an angsty BLT and a side of guilt, but she couldn't have reprieve.
"Where's my happily ever after?", she cried out loud, the weight of the world barging in and sitting on her shoulders.
Then, of course, who else but Whitney to show up crying like a baby.
"BECKY! I'm sad because Miguel won't notice me and I can't flirt no good!"
Whitney started sucking her thumb and rolling on the floor, prompting a tired and resigned sigh from Becky.
With literally zero interest, Becky stuffed the rest of the sandwich in her mouth and whilst chewing asked "What now, Whitney? Did you have to undergo some minor difficulty, like brushing your teeth without a butler?"
Whitney was too busy crying to notice the insult. "No! I tried to flirt with Miguel, and I talked gibberish and embarrassed myself! OH THE SHAME! OH THE HUMILIATION!"
"Gee, and I thought I had it hard." Becky sarcastically quipped.
Whitney approached Becky, pleading on her knees. "Becky, you know that this is really hard for me…"
"Trust me, I know.", Becky retorted, lazily glancing down at her "friend".
"But I need you to help me! I MUST win over Miguel! It is my destiny!", Whitney posed oh so dramatically.
"Look, why don't you ask him? I'm sure he'd answer you if you asked!", Becky said, crossing her legs.
Whitney had a mad look as she stared at Becky. "Becky, like, don't you get it? Every time I try I get… Tongue tied! And I know I'm a good flirt! Here, watch!"
Suddenly, Whitney covered her face, and out emerged a very different Whitney: Confident, poised and on the hunt.
She slowly and sensually moved towards Becky, who gulped, unused to such proximity to a girl.
"Hey…", Whitney whispered airily, tickling Becky's chin and eyeing her like a tiger. "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this without me?"
She purred, twirling a strand of hair of Becky's in her hand.
Becky was quite red. She had never ever been flirted with by a girl before.
Not that it mattered, it was Whitney, and she was, like, the worst.
But it did feel nice, like she had always imagined it would be.
Still, though, the answer was no.
Becky groaned. "Honestly, Whitney, I gotta say: Why do I have to help you?"
Whitney was shocked! Appalled! "What on earth could cause you to say this, Becky? Do you not know who you're talking to?"
Becky nodded. "Oh I do. Sometimes I wish I didn't."
Becky had to admit: Banter with Whitney was one way to divert her attention from Leni.
Plus… It was kind of fun.
Whitney growled. "Listen, you jerk! I really do need your help!"
Becky crossed her arms, unamused. "You expect me to do this without even a please?"
Whitney begged and begged, with a pleading grin. "Pweese?"
Despite really not wanting to though, Becky's conscious would never let her treat anyone (even Whitney) like that.
"Sadly, the right thing to do sucks ass this time around.", Becky thought, but she had enough to feel guilty about as it is.
Helping Whitney could at least ease her conscious.
Becky stood up and stretched, cricking a muscle or two. "All right, all right, I'll help."
Whitney cheered and hugged Becky. "Yay! Yay!"
She then dragged her out.
"I'M COMING MY LOVE!"
Becky sighed as she hit bumps on the grass. "Well… Here I go again."
Sitting in her tent with a look of utter despair, Lori gazed thoughtfully as her favorite picture on her phone turned into her biggest fear.
Now, if one only knew Lori from school, or from small encounters, one would have thought that this picture would have been a selfie of some sorts, or perhaps a picture of her and her beloved boyfriend Bobby Santiago, something that inflated that ego of hers and allowed her to gloat about how pretty she is.
If you were a good friend of hers, you would have bet it was a picture of her family, something that eased her soul and mind, something that made her feel loved.
And if you were one of her siblings, you would have made a similar bet, perhaps thinking it was a picture of all of you together, keeping each other safe and warm.
But Lori was a girl of many layers.
Shallow on the outside, perhaps, but ferociously loving, loyal and protective on the inside.
Her favorite picture was a secret she had kept for some time now, fearing that it would make her other siblings jealous, perhaps.
And as she stared at it, a tear dropping down, Lori wondered what she would do with her life.
The picture was one from 11, nearly 12 years ago.
A 6 year old Lori, still so young, so innocent, so radically different from the broken, depressed, lost girl who pretended to be a woman, was holding, or, well, almost glomping a baby Lincoln.
Baby Lincoln, with only two tufts of white hair and adorable orange PJ's (Lori marveled at how small he was. How defenseless), clinged onto Lori as if she was a security blanket.
As if she could defend him from anything.
Lori used to think that was true.
But now Lori had no idea what was true.
In the picture, Lori and Lincoln both had the biggest, widest smiles the teen had ever seen.
Lori could feel the love from the picture…
Lori could feel the tenderness in which she had once held Lincoln, and the utter devotion Lincoln had for her.
Lori, despite how much she didn't want to imagine this, wondered if she still loved him like that.
If she still loved anyone like that.
Lori sighed as she traced the picture with her thumb, Lincoln's cries from that day reverberating in her mind, sending her back…
"WAAAAAAHHHHHH!", Baby Lincoln bawled, the cries reverberating now across the house.
Lori stood by the side, watching from the dark, as the little boy she had known for so long now really was little.
He was in his crib, shaking and throwing things around, tears flowing and flowing like a river.
Lori's heart hurt, but at the same time, it felt empty.
Lori wanted to rip it out and beat it senseless, but she couldn't.
How she wished she could.
"Honey, Lincoln is crying again!", Lynn Sr. shouted, and the slightly younger father ran into the room, slipping on a rattle and crashing into the wall.
Despite her mood, Lori couldn't help but crack a small smile. "Some things never change, huh, Lincoln?", she asked the baby, though she knew he couldn't hear her.
Could he hear her in the present?
Or had she forcibly cut the connection?
Rita, also younger, stepped in, a 2 year old Lynn on her head, shooting a water pistol, and 6 year old Lori, proudly wearing a "Good Noodle" sticker, holding her hand.
"I think I got that for best picture. Even then, I was literally the best at it!", Lori thought, allowing herself a moment of ego.
"Lynn, are you ok?", Rita asked, which caused Lynn Jr. to blow a raspberry and laugh.
"No, not you, Lynn Jr., I mean Lynn your dad.", Rita explained, and she approached her husband, who was hawlfway buried in the wall.
"A little stuck, dear!", he cried, and Rita tried to remove him, while 6 Year Old Lori tried to show her "Good Noodle" sticker to her father.
"Daddy, daddy, look! I'm a "Good Noodle"! I got it for being literally the best photographer!", 6 Year Old Lori beamed, her chest swelling.
Usually she came back home with not much to report but "I had to stop Leni from doing this" or "Luan couldn't stop telling inappropriate jokes that", so it was nice to have some good news for once.
Lori felt special and she twirled in place. "You think I could do that when I grow up? Take pictures?"
She began to "snap" pictures around her with an imaginary camera, while Baby Lincoln continued crying.
Rita looked back at 6 Year Old Lori, still tugging at Lynn Sr.'s hands. "Lori, honey, I am really happy for you…"
"As am I!", Lynn Sr. was quick to report, muffled as he was.
"But we really need to focus now! Your fathers stuck and Lincoln is crying!"
6 Year Old Lori had somehow not even noticed the crying until now.
But as she turned towards the crib, she definitely heard it, almost deafening the shrieks were.
"Mom! Lincoln is crying!", 6 Year Old Lori stated the obvious, which made Lori half cringe half humorously shake her head.
"Jeez, was I really THAT self centered?"
A terrible thought crossed her: Had she stopped being this self centered?
Of course, though, Lori was forgetting that even then, the eldest Loud had a heart of gold buried deep within, beyond all the flaws and ego.
As Rita tried her best not to shout at anyone as she freed Lynn Sr., 6 Year Old Lori looked at Baby Lincoln and felt a pang of sadness.
Her baby brother was crying up a storm, and it was not pretty to look at.
6 Year Old Lori didn't like seeing her cute little brother cry, but she also didn't know what to do: She was only 6! Babies were for her parents, but right now they were busy!
At first, she thought that it might be his diaper, but to her great relief, it wasn't that!
"Phew!", she thought, and then she tried to think what else could it be.
"Maybe he needs his bottle!", 6 Year Old Lori thought, but as she handed it to Baby Lincoln, he threw it away, hitting Lynn Sr. by accident.
Baby Lincoln resumed crying.
"You're not making it any easier, Lincoln!", 6 Year Old Lori said, pouting.
"Mommy! Lincoln is being difficult! How can I stop him from crying if he won't let me?", she shouted, but Rita really couldn't answer.
At first, 6 Year Old Lori just wanted to give up. She surely couldn't be expected to take such a heavy burden! She was just…
Lori.
But a small voice, and a great love for her little brother, who looked so upset, wouldn't let up.
She almost wanted to cry too, he looked so helpless, blubbering and begging, pleading with his eyes for…
Her.
She was the only one who could help.
6 Year Old Lori leaned in and whispered "Don't get it wrong, Lincoln! I want to help! Really I do! Honest!"
She sighed. "But even your eldest sister can't help you."
Suddenly, Baby Lincoln lifted his arms, trying to say something.
"Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!", he cried, looking straight at her.
6 Year Old Lori recognized that gesture: It was the one Baby Lincoln did whenever he…
"Nope!", she suddenly said, a look of rare fear in her eyes. "I can't do that! You know that I…"
6 Year Old Lori prided herself on being the eldest, and from an early age she had done her best to be as mature as possible: She already knew how to ride a bike, she made her own school lunches…
She even went to potty on her very own!
And she wasn't afraid of anything! No monsters, or ghouls, or witches, or goblins, or even Mr. Grouse!
But…
She was afraid of one thing: Holding her baby siblings.
She could still remember when she had almost dropped Baby Lynn almost a year ago.
It had really taken a toll on her that day, and not just because Lynn Sr. had fainted that day.
A few small tears ran down her nose, and 6 Year Old Lori shivered in fright, as she saw herself lift Baby Lincoln and accidentally drop him on the floor, ruining his life forever.
Her fault.
Her fault he was hurt.
6 Year Old Lori didn't even want to dare.
But…
"Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!", Baby Lincoln cried, and 6 Year Old Lori's heart couldn't take it no more.
She had to take the leap of faith, even if… Even if it might go…
"No.", she said to herself determinedly, as Baby Lincoln sobbed once more. "He won't fall."
Now fully motivated and hell bent on protecting her precious baby brother, she slowly reached towards him, as "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers played in the background.
Time slowed down, as 6 Year Old Lori and Present Lori held bated breaths.
Slowly, carefully, delicately, full of love and care for someone so small, so different, so precious…
6 Year Old Lori lifted Baby Lincoln from the crib.
"He's… He's so small…", she whispered, and so did Lori.
He was like a doll almost… A small treasure that she HAD to protect.
He stopped crying, a bright, wide, sleepy smile on his face.
Lori continued to slowly lift him up onto her, her eyes only seeing him, his small, barely shapen eyes only seeing her.
His miniscule hands, so soft, so delicate, opened to hold on to her, and his chubby cheeks bounced.
6 Year Old Lori had almost forgotten all her fears, so enchanted she was by the intense love she could feel, almost like the love of a…
No. That couldn't be true.
But Lori still dreamed of it at night.
6 Year Old Lori neared him to her, until he was finally held, leaning over her shoulder, his feet slightly kicking until a silent whisper of care made him stop.
"It's ok…", she whispered. "It's ok…"
Baby Lincoln yawned as 6 Year Old Lori patted his back ever so gently.
"I'm here, Lincoln…", she whispered calmly, feeling total peace.
Time could stop now.
She wouldn't mind.
"I've never felt something like this before…", she thought, awe struck by the emotions she didn't even comprehend.
Something about here…
About now…
With her baby brother…
Meant more than any "Good Noodle" sticker.
Something about him…
She loved more than anything.
Even herself.
As she held him, she didn't notice the picture that Rita was about to take with her camera…
Or the vase that was about to fall in a different room…
But she did notice Baby Lincoln whisper, only to her, his first ever words.
"…Lo…Lori…"
SNAP!
And out of the picture Lori was, back in a world that felt cold, a world she didn't understand…
A world where she wasn't Lincoln's world.
"All because of me.", she thought, the tears flowing down, making the matress below her wet.
Lori held her knees close, still looking at the picture.
"I failed you. I failed all our siblings. I almost lost Luan. I'm…"
Lori sobbed. "You were right: I'm selfish. I'm a jerk. Even when I try to do what's right, I fail."
Lori looked down with shame, not wanting to look at her baby brother's eyes.
"I… I don't want to… I don't want to hurt anyone. Not anymore."
But how?
"How can I not? What can I do?", she begged, smashing her head on the matress over and over.
"What can I do to make things better?!", she demanded, hitting her head one too many times.
"Ow!", she rubbed her head.
Sighing again, she kept searching for a solution.
"I took charge of the hike to make my ego feel better. And in the end, I nearly hurt everyone."
The wheels in her mind began turning, as a "solution" began to formulate in her mind.
"I'm not responsible enough. I keep failing because I care more about stupid me."
Lori came to a realization.
"Well… Maybe that's the problem. I'm not responsible… So I'll avoid hurting those I love… By not taking responsibility."
Hey, I didn't say it was a good realization!
Lori stood up, feeling a little better. "I know it sounds bad… And I won't get that sweet, sweet big sister praise…"
But Lori knew what was right.
Deep down in her heart, she knew that…
"My friends and family's safety is more important than anything. If I have to be a nobody… Then I will."
She looked at the image of Lincoln and, eyes closed, kissed it tenderly.
"I've let you down for the last time, Lincoln."
She smiled weakly. "I… I… I'll be responsible by not being responsible… And then I'll be a good big sister. Like I should have been."
Suddenly, frowning frank peeked in and said "lori loud, front and center. we can't start the swimming without you."
As she left, he looked over at her, almost as if he heard what she said. "you never know if someone's going to get hurt. i'll be hoping for your help in the case of an emergency."
Lori didn't say anything, but she gladly thought to herself that no one was going to get hurt…
Because she wouldn't be able to fail to save them.
Hope you enjoyed this! Next time, in what is sure to be the longest chapter yet, SWIMMING!
WILL RUBY MANAGE TO BE NICE?!
WILL BENNY MAKE LUAN LAUGH?!
WILL LUAN FIGURE OUT MAGGIE, OR WILL MAGGIE GET HER TO LEAVE HER ALONE?!
WILL REX AND SHANNON KILL EACH OTHER?!
WILL FIONA MAKE LENI AND MIGUEL JEALOUS?!
WILL WHITNEY ASK MIGUEL OUT?!
WILL BECKY GET EVEN MORE GUILT RIDDEN OVER LENI?!
WILL CHAZ'S DIET WORK?!
WILL LORI EVER BE RESPONSIBLE AGAIN?!
Find out next time on SUMMER OF DESTINY!
Also, be on the lookout to 3 new Loud House stories of mine, that serve as prequels and midquels to SUMMER OF DESTINY!:
1. Beach Episode (Posted in two parts in "Wouldn't Trade It For The World" in the near future)
2. Besties (A Leo And Lyberti Love Story Released Independently)
3. Missing Mama (A Lincoln and Lori bonding story set in the middle of SUMMER OF DESTINY, Released in "Wouldn't Trade It For The World")