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Also, I HAVE to say...I just finished the most extraordinary series I have yet to read on this site. If you have not checked out any of the six "Erebor 3022" stories by summerald...you are truly missing out! I laughed, I cringed, I cried, (actual tears!) and fell in love with Fili and Kili all over again. I give each story my highest recommendation. GO READ THEM - but please keep coming back to read mine too, ha ha.

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Chapter 10

~X~

Fili led Sier into an adjoining room, much smaller than the one they just left, yet no less comfortable. It too had several chairs placed around a cheery fireplace, and the young prince gestured for her to take a seat, though he chose to stand. At first he paced, pausing every now and then to look over at the lovely dwarrowdam, who refused to lift her eyes and meet his.

Fili had been struck dumb when he had first beheld the small child in his uncle's arms. There had been no doubt in his mind who had fathered the lad…not even for a split second. And it was not solely due to his appearance either, though that alone was proof enough. No, there had been an instant connection, a shared bond, one more powerful than he could ever imagine. It was as if in that one split second, Fili understood his purpose in life. That before him was the one thing that would matter most to him until he took his dying breath…his child. Yes, Fili had always longed to find his mate and start a family, but it was not until that very moment that he understood how much. Flinn was a gift, an unexpected one to be sure, but a gift Fili wished to treasure and protect for the rest of his days.

However, it was not until his uncle had introduced the child's mother that Fili knew the extent of his newfound emotions. Suddenly everything made sense…including how his son had come into the world. He had never let himself forget what had happened, never allowed the guilt to fully fade. It had been all his fault, and even if he had not willingly participated in the defiling of the unconscious maiden, he blamed himself just the same. There were days his anger blazed so bright that Thorin and Kili had to physically hold him back from seeking out Lord Colm and his wretched daughter for their heinous crimes. Yet in the end, he knew that without proof, the charges would not stick and the scandal they were trying to keep secret would be exposed.

Still, there were times he just didn't care.

The moment Sier had raised her eyes, and looked into his for the first time in over five years, was one of those moments. All the hate, all the humiliation and all the anger had come racing back…but not at her, no, never at her. At Colm and Bina, for what they had done to her…to Sier. She appeared the same as when he saw her last; with deep brown eyes that instantly drew him in, rosy cheeks that appeared flushed by the chilling wind from her journey, and her delicate pink lip that had been caught between her teeth in obvious concern. She had filled out a bit more perhaps, her curves more appealing, a healthier glow about her…yet he supposed motherhood had that effect.

Fili had dreamed about her often, more so than he cared to admit, or had dared reveal to anyone…except to Kili. At first he had assumed it was the residual effects of that vile elixir Bina had given him, one that forced his body to override his good morals and common sense, making him act in a way that was completely foreign. Yet whenever those dreams took on the feel of reality, of possible memory, he would wake with his body covered in sweat, fervently praying that they were only that…dreams. Not because he had found such visions unpleasant…in fact, they were just the opposite. And that is what frightened him the most.

Still, there was no denying that it had taken place…and certainly not now that he had seen the proof of that union. How could he ever make it up to her? How could he possibly earn her forgiveness? Yet he had to try…not only for her sake, but for that of his child as well.

Sier was beginning to seriously panic, waiting for Fili to speak. She watched him beneath hooded eyes as he paced back and forth in front of her, running his hands through his hair, as if searching for the right words…any words. She only hoped they would not be spoken, or screamed at her, in anger, once found.

Sier had been shocked at the feelings that had raced through her at the sight of the prince once again. While they had only shared that one brief moment when their eyes had met in Bina's room, Sier had seen him plenty of other times during her stay in Erebor. Bina had only required her assistance serving lunch that once, but Fili had been a very visible figure around the mountain, easy to pick out in a crowd. More times than she could count, Sier had caught herself stopping just to stare at the golden prince as he went about his activities, completely oblivious of her.

Yet this time…this time it felt different. She could not explain it, but she experienced a bolt of lightning race through her, as if all her nerves were suddenly on fire. Her first thought was that it had to be due to the time they had spent together…the fact that they now shared a child. However, not in all this time had Sier ever recalled a single moment of that night. It caused her face to flame scarlet to think there was a chance that Fili might remember it…any of it! After all, while she had been drugged out of her mind, completely unaware of what was going on, Fili must have retained at least some of his faculties, otherwise there would be no need for them to be here trying to have this conversation.

Sier wondered if she should speak first…and apologize. Beg his forgiveness? Anything to break this horrible silence and tension. Thankfully, she was spared all this by Fili finding his tongue at last.

"Flinn…he is my son, isn't he?" And while it was technically a question, there was no hint of doubt in his tone.

"Yes," was all she could think to say in reply.

"He is the product of that night…when we…" he stopped there, turning to stare at her, unable to say the words out loud.

"Yes," came the same one word answer.

"How…" he all but whispered, causing Sier to stare up at him in shock. Seeing her confusion, he quickly finished his sentence. "How were you able to shoulder such a burden alone?"

"Flinn has never been a burden!" she immediately corrected him. "I love my son more than anything, and I would walk through fire to protect him. He has never been anything but a joy to me."

"Yet you should not have had to go through any of this alone," Fili insisted, a measure of pride swelling in his heart to hear her talk about their child that way. "You should not have had to go through any of it at all…if only I had kept my big mouth shut!"

Sier recalled the way he had lamented his choice of words to Bina back in the healing halls five years ago, how he had foolishly made mention of her when telling her evil mistress just how much he detested her. She knew Fili blamed himself for what happened, yet she never had. She blamed Bina, she blamed her wicked father, Lord Colm, but she never blamed Fili. Yet to hear that he still shouldered a measure of responsibility both touched her heart…and then saddened it as well. If he could only look back on the incident with regret, then where did that leave Flinn? Was he just as much of a mistake in his father's mind?

"Please know, I did not come back to Erebor to pressure you into accepting Flinn," she assured him, testing out the waters carefully. "I had planned on informing you of his existence when he turned five, when by law he was no longer mine alone. Yet not once did it ever occur to me to insist that you take responsibility or provide for him. I am more than happy to continue doing so alone…I won't even tell him who you are if that is your wish."

"What?" Fili felt as if he had been struck in the gut by Dwalin's ax, and he stumbled backwards until the back of his legs hit a chair, sinking into it gratefully. "You…you think I don't want him? You imagine I could simply go on with my life and pretend he never existed? I…I would go mad knowing he was out there somewhere, and I could not see him, hold him, and protect him!"

"I won't give him up!" she warned, the she-bear in her coming to the fore. "I won't let you take him away from me. Just because you are a prince, that does not mean I will simply hand him over and walk away!"

"No! I would never!" Fili stated adamantly. "What kind of monster do you take me for?" Yet, one thought as to how this all came about, had Fili looking away in disgrace. "No…don't answer that."

At the sight of his shame, Sier could not help but feel pity for him. He did not deserve this any more than she had…yet while she had found a way to live with it, even to find the silver lining in it all – that being Flinn – Fili had never had that opportunity. Perhaps by getting to know the child that was produced from all this, he too might find the peace he was lacking.

"I do not think you are a monster," she told him softly, causing him to glance up at her, a glimmer of hope shining in his mist-filled eyes. "Nor do I blame you for any of it."

"How can you say that?" Fili questioned. "After what happened…what I did to you!"

Sier remained quiet for a moment, trying to decide how to answer him. Finally she went with the direct approach, something his warrior side might relate to.

"Do you have any battle scars?" she asked quietly.

"What?" Fili had not expected this.

"Scars…wounds you incurred during battle?" she clarified.

"I…yes," he nodded, still confused. "Several in fact…why?"

"When you look at them, who do you blame…the blade used to inflict the damage, or the one who was wielding the sword?"

"I blame the filthy orc that gave them to me!" Fili answered, his eyes narrowing as an image of Azog the Defiler came swimming into his mind.

"It is the same for me," Sier told him softly. "I do not hold you accountable, because you were only the weapon…not the one behind the attack. I know it was Bina's doing…all her. And she was out to punish me, just as much as you, by doing what she did. You are not to blame. I always knew she had an evil streak, yet I had no idea it ran so deep, or that she could be so cruel. Had I known…" she halted there, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "…well, there is no point in second guessing things now, what's done is done. We simply need to move on with our lives, and not allow the Binas of this world to rob us of our joy. And I have found exactly that…in Flinn."

"How do you do it?" Fili asked, staring at her in wonder. "How did you pick up the pieces and move on…when I have never found the strength to do so?"

"I had to," she said with an understanding smile. "I had another life depending on me, pushing me to be all right…for his sake. And in return, he gave me the ability to move on, to put the past behind me and not let it dictate my future. Having Flinn in my life showed me that others can only hurt us if we let them…and focusing on the things that truly matter, brings so much more happiness. I love my son, more than anything, and I can never be sorry for what happened as long as I see his adorable little face each morning, and hear him calling me Ama."

"I…I want that too," Fili whispered, then chuckled to himself over how his words had sounded. "I mean, I would like to hear him call me Adad…not Ama. That is…if you will allow it. I would never force you to accept my petition, yet I would be even further in your debt if you would. It would mean the very world to me."

"That is the sole reason I came back…to offer you that chance," Sier smiled. "It has been hard enough to placate Flinn concerning the identity of his father, but once your uncle, the king, arrived, well there was simply no going back then."

"Does…does he know?" Fili asked. "Does he know I am his…father?"

"No, not yet," she said with a shake of her head. "I begged King Thorin not to tell him until I had a chance to speak with you…to find out what you wished done."

"I want to know him!" Fili spoke up, excitement growing in his voice. "I want to learn all about him and for him to know me in return. I have so much I wish to teach him, to show to him…and provide for him. I will agree to whatever conditions you impose upon me, simply for the privilege to be in his life. Please, Sier…grant me this, I beg of you."

"Just please never try and part me from him," Sier beseeched. "That is all I ask. That, and never break his heart. He already idolizes you beyond belief, though he has never even laid eyes on you. Please don't let him down."

"In all actuality, I probably will at some point," Fili said with a heavy sigh. "Though I will never do so intentionally…that much I can swear. I will never lie to him, I will never betray him, and I will always be there when he needs me. I…I know I already love him, even after having known him less than an hour…does that sound strange?"

"No, not at all," she laughed. "I knew he possessed my heart the moment I first held him."

"Then you will tell him?" Fili asked eagerly. "You will introduce me to him as his father?"

"Yes, of course," she nodded, her heart fluttering slightly at the sight of the wide smile that crossed his lips. Perhaps little Flinn was already beginning to work his magic on the despondent prince. She had no doubt that her son had enough love in him to heal them both. "I should probably let you know that Flinn thinks you are a simple foot soldier, and have been away fighting all this time. Finding out that his father is a prince might be a bit of a shock for him, though I doubt he will take it poorly."

"I will do whatever I can to ease him into the truth of the matter," Fili nodded, rising to his feet as if anxious to return to the other room. "I will follow your lead, for you know him best."

"Thank you…I appreciate that," she nodded, standing up as well.

"And I know we still have much to discuss, and plenty of things we need to work out between us…but all I want to do right now, is officially meet my son," Fili laughed nervously.

"I don't blame you," she grinned. "He is a rather remarkable little dwarf."

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Flinn had been kept thoroughly entertained by twelve boisterous dwarves, for Balin had returned to the room not long after Fili and Sier had left, bringing with him plenty of food and warm drinks. The tale concerning the three trolls had morphed into one about the goblin king, then about being chased by orcs riding on wargs, and they were just beginning a rendition of how they managed to outrun the dragon, when they saw the two reenter the room.

"Ama!" Flinn called, wiggling his way from between Thorin and Kili before racing over to hug her around the legs, looking up at her with wide eyes. "Did you know that King Thorin and the others fought goblins, and trolls, and orcs, and wargs, and even a dragon?" He then got a perplexed look on his face as he asked, "What are wargs?"

"Let's hope you never have to find out," she told him, taking his hand in hers as she walked over to one of the chairs that was furthest away from everyone else. She understood that there was no chance of this being done without an audience, and she knew that dwarves had excellent hearing, but even a small amount of distance was a blessing.

Upon noticing the serious look on his mother's face, Flinn became concerned.

"What's wrong, Ama?" he asked, placing his tiny hands on her knees once she had sat down. "Are you sad?"

"No, my lamb," she assured him, reaching up as she brushed a loose strand of hair out of his eyes before cupping his cheek gently. "I am not sad, and nothing is wrong. Yet I have something very important to tell you, and I will need for you to be a very grown up dwarrow for this. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, Ama," he assured her, and though he did his best to appear big and strong, she could tell his little heart was now racing a mile a minute in anticipation of what she had to say.

"Remember how I always told you that you would meet your Adad when you turned five?" she asked, watching him slowly nod in agreement. "Well, often things don't work out like we planned, in fact, sometimes they turn out even better! Because, you see…you get to meet him sooner than we both expected."

"Sooner…like now?" Flinn asked, excitement replacing his former look of worry. "I get to meet him now?"

"Yes…right now," Sier nodded, yet before she could say any more, Flinn whirled around and stared at Fili, pointing his finger directly at the prince.

"It's him, isn't it?" he stated, his voice full of conviction. "He is my adad, isn't he? Because he looks just like me!"

"Technically, it is you who looks like him, since he was here first," Sier corrected, giving her bright little son a reassuring smile. "But yes…Prince Fili is your father, and he would very much like to spend some time getting to know you better."

"Would…would that be all right with you, Flinn?" Fili asked, having had to take a seat himself due to his legs becoming unsteady once more. It was becoming quite apparent to him that this was far more stressful than fighting orcs or goblins…or even a dragon. What if Flinn said no? What if he wanted nothing to do with him?

There was a moment or two of complete silence, where every dwarf in the room was holding a collective breath, waiting to see how Flinn would react. At last, the little dwarrow stepped away from his mother and walked over to stand in front of Fili, his expression maddeningly unreadable. Then, without asking permission, or for help, Flinn crawled onto the stunned prince's lap, his little knees resting against his father's legs. He then took hold of the stunned dwarrow's face, placing his chubby little hands on either side and leaned in so that their foreheads touched. This was a very old, and traditional, expression of affection shared between males of their kind. Sier's hand flew to cover her mouth, stifling the gasp of shock at seeing her son do such a thing, something he had only heard about, yet never had the opportunity to perform. Now, here he was, sharing such an intimate moment with his father…with Fili.

"I missed you, Adad," he whispered. "Are you all done fighting now? Are you back for good?"

"Y-y-yes, I am," Fili managed to choke out as his arms instinctively came up to surround the little dwarrow in an overwhelming embrace. Flinn's own arms went easily around his father's neck as the two of them remained locked in that heartwarming position for a long time. Yet while Flinn remained perfectly still, Fili's shoulders could not stop shaking, as he fought back deep sobs as well as tears. "I missed you too. And I promise that I will never, never leave you again…my son."

Awwwwwww, tissue any one?

And there you have it...no REAL cliff hanger this time (is it?)

So how did you like Sier and Fili's chat? Do you think they got things kind of straightened out? I mean there is still a lot to discuss, but they know the basics. She is staying, Flinn is his son and Fili wants to be a daddy. Sounds good to me!

Guest Reviews:

Mjean: I used the same photo of Fili for my screen picture and for "A Different Kind of Thirst" but used a new photo of Fili holding Flinn's hand for this story. So, yes, there are some differences. ha ha, I don't know if it was 'parental' of Thorin to let Fili discover Flinn for himself...or just mean. ha ha. Either way, it was fun!

Guest: As you can see, she gave him permission to be the resident daddy in this chapter. ha ha. Oh I think Fili will strut around like a proud peacock, showing Flinn off to anyone who will look. He is one proud papa.

Guest named Lily: I am so very glad you DID stumble upon my story! AND that you stopped long enough to send in a very, very sweet review! Me...sophisticated? I am shocked! Flattered, but shocked to hear anyone say that about me, ha ha. I will admit that I am a little bit more than a casual author though - I do have several books published, but just could not help but sneak over here and write a little Fili fluff! He is just so darn cute! Having a fellow writer say what you did though, it means a lot. Thanks! I hope you continue to read and enjoy my story!

Aranel Mereneth: ha ha, All right, i will hurry up and post...but once a day is all I can manage, ha ha. Kili is certain to be Flinn's partner in crime, but Fili will keep them both in line...or Sier will! And Dis will be there soon enough - you just TRY and keep a grandma away from her first grandbaby!

Arveldis: Yep, everyone needs to feel badly for Fili...he was just NOT prepared for all this! So glad you are enjoying it. Thanks.