.

Well...let's see how Sier reacts to Fili's proposal!

PS. This is the longest chapter I have written so far for this story!

Almost 6,000 words!

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Chapter 12

~X~

To say that Fili was shocked by his sudden proposal, would have been an understatement, though he felt no compulsion to take it back. He had not given it a moment of thought, no consideration to the consequences, and yet it somehow felt like the most sensible thing in the world to him. And as he looked at the stunned dwarrowdam standing before him, her warm brown eyes the size of saucers and her rosy red lips parted in surprise, Fili found he wanted nothing more in the world than for her to say yes.

"W-w-what?" Sier stammered, retreating a few steps until she made contact with a small sofa. Sitting down before she fell, she stared up at the blond haired dwarf before her, wondering if she had somehow misunderstood.

"Marry me, Sier," he repeated, this time with firm conviction. "It is the solution that makes the most sense."

"No…it makes no sense at all, Your Highness!" she insisted.

"Fili…please. After all we have been through, I think it would be best if you called me Fili," he told her. "And of course it does."

"A marriage should be based on love," she pointed out. "Especially among our kind…you should know that. And other than a few stories I have been told, I hardly know anything about you, and you know next to nothing of me."

"We share a child, Sier," he argued, coming over to occupy the chair directly across from her. "I would say I know you more intimately than any other dwarrowdam in all of Middle Earth!"

His frankness brought a blush to her cheeks and she looked away, unable to meet his eyes.

"But…but I am not your one," she continued, looking for any excuse she could come up with.

"How do we know that?" he asked. "My mother knew my father for several years before they ever realized they were meant to be together. It doesn't always happen immediately, often coming only when those in question are truly ready. It still might come for us…in time."

"And you are willing to risk something as important as marriage on such a slim chance?" Sier was shocked by his continued insistence. "It would never work…nor would your uncle agree to such a thing. I am not of noble blood…I am no one important. While you are a prince, destined to inherit the throne! Why should you settle for a handmaiden, when you could have a queen? Erebor would never accept me as your wife."

"Do you honestly think I care about position or station?" he questioned, sounding a bit offended. "And as long as it is my choice, my uncle wouldn't care if I married a princess, a milkmaid, or even an elf!" he paused there and gave it a moment of thought. "Well, perhaps he would take issue if I chose an elf…but you are a fine and respectable dwarrowdam, and from what I could tell, Thorin holds you in high regard. The fact that you have already borne him a great-nephew only adds to all this. Besides, my own father, Flinn, was not a lord or a dwarf of great wealth, and no one objected of his union with my mother. Likewise, no one would dare say anything about us, I guarantee it."

"But what would happen if I said yes and then you did find your one?" she pressed. "Wasn't that the reason that the dwarrowdams were being brought to Erebor in the first place? In hopes that you might find your mate? She might still be out there, and if she happens along in a week, or a year…what then?"

"Now who is the one worrying about things that might never come to pass?" Fili groused, not liking the fact that she was harder to convince than he had hoped. "Yes, it is true…Thorin wished for Kili and I to meet a number of dwarrowdams in hopes that we might find our one," Fili told her, his tone turning sad. "And I admit that I went along with his plan, not only to fulfill my obligation to marry and produce an heir, but also out of the desire to have a companion in life…as well as children. But in all that time, as well as the past five years, I have never found her. Perhaps I am not destined to have a one. She may not even exist. Yet, you and I already have a son…together! So it makes the most sense to marry you, can't you see that Sier?" Suddenly something occurred to him, causing his heart to plummet. "Have you found your one? Will you not accept me because you wish to be with another?" The unexplained surge of anger brought on by this thought confused Fili. Perhaps it stemmed from the idea that another dwarrow might supplant him in Flinn's life? That his son might call another 'Adad' and not only him. And yet…somehow he knew that was not the sole reason.

"Me…find my one?" The mere thought caused Sier to let loose a chuckle. "I gave up on that dream a long time ago. For even if he were to miraculously come along, after he found me raising a child from another dwarrow, he would certainly not stop for a second look. No, I am happy the way I am, and will be content to simply remain Flinn's mother. As I said…he is all I will ever need."

"But what about his needs?" Fili asked, trying a different tactic to get what he suddenly wanted more desperately than he could explain. "Have you thought about how all of this will affect Flinn? Marriage to me would make things go so much smoother for him, and isn't that what you want?"

"What do you mean?" Now Sier was worried.

"Flinn is my child, a true prince of Erebor and son of Durin…there is no denying this fact," he began, trying to be as diplomatic as possible. "Yet there are those who will question his right to such a title if they find out I am not legally bound to his mother. Would you allow your pride and objections to hinder your son from attaining his proper place in society? While I would do all I could to shield him from harmful gossip, the only way I truly know to protect him is to legitimize him, to publicly acknowledge him as my rightful heir. And I can only do that with his mother standing at my side with a marriage bead in her hair…as my wife."

"I…I had not thought of that," she admitted. For until now, she had not let herself think beyond the fear that Fili might not accept Flinn, it never occurred to her what the other dwarves of Erebor might have to say on the matter. Of course there would be talk, a scandal even. For had that not been the original purpose behind Bina's devious plan? To discredit Fili in front of everyone? "There are bound to be questions, with Flinn already being four years old. How would we explain…well, all of it?"

"We would marry in secret, and do so immediately," Fili began, a plan forming in his mind. "We could tell everyone that threats had been made against me just as we decided to wed five years ago, and that to ensure your safety, the marriage was kept a secret and you were sent away until the danger had passed. While you were gone, you learned that you were carrying my child, but could not reveal to anyone, even your own son, who his father was, in order to remain protected."

"It…it seems wrong to lie," Sier pointed out, not liking all the subterfuge.

"It's not all a lie," Fili insisted. "Would you not consider Bina's plot a viable threat? And while we might not have actually married…I can guarantee that I would have offered you such a commitment the moment I learned that you were…well, in a family way. Besides, you did indeed learn of your condition while away, and did you ever tell anyone who Flinn's father was?"

"Well…no," she admitted, seeing the truth behind most of his words. "Yet, I am sure the king would never agree to such a thing."

"Don't be so sure," Fili said with a great deal of consideration. "My uncle never does anything without having a very well thought-out plan in mind. If he brought you here to the mountain, he must have already muddled things through. And from where I stand, I can see no other solution to this situation than the one I have just offered. I am willing to bet that if I had not come up with a plan…Thorin already has, and would be mentioning it very soon." Fili felt he was getting through to Sier, but he could still see the hesitancy in her eyes. So leaning forward just a bit, he gave one last heartfelt plea. "I know this is sudden, and I know that you are confused, but please be assured that I will take care of everything. We may not know much about each other, but from what little I have learned of you, I can tell that you are a dam to be admired, trusted and respected. I can only hope that you see some of the same qualities in me. We might not share a deep and abiding love, like most who choose to marry, but I think we can build a solid friendship, one that will allow us both to be happy and content. Please give us the opportunity to try, Sier. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure you will never come to regret your decision. Do it for me, for yourself…and most of all, do it for Flinn. For I would never wish him to experience a moment of shame if it is in my power to prevent it. Please, Sier…for Flinn?"

Sier did not know what to say. Fili had made several valid points and she could not refute any of them. Flinn would be looked down upon if the truth came out, even if none of it had been his fault. It had not been theirs either, but sadly that is not how others would see it. If they were to marry in secret and perpetuate the ruse that Fili had just suggested, it would solve everything…everything except the fact that she would be marrying a dwarrow she hardly knew. That Fili would be taking on a wife who he had only officially met that very night. Not to mention the fact that he was a prince and that would automatically make her a princess!

Oh, this was beyond bizarre!

And yet it all came down to what was best for her son. He was her sole purpose for living, and as far as she was concerned, no sacrifice was too great. Still, it was all too fast…too soon.

"May…may I have some time to think about it and give you my answer in the morning?" she asked, praying that he would allow her this reprieve so that she could settle it in her mind.

"Of course," Fili answered, though she could hear the disappointment in his voice. Still, he agreed to her terms and did not press the issue further. "I should go. It is late and I am sure you are just as tired as Flinn from your long journey." He stood and began to walk towards the door, a bit hesitant, yet knowing it was time to depart. With his son only a room away, he dearly hated to put any more distance between them, but tomorrow was another day. "I would like to come back in the morning…perhaps bring breakfast? It would not be wise for you and Flinn to be seen in the dining hall just yet. I promise not to mention anything about my proposal in front of Flinn…it is your decision, and I will not try and influence you by involving our son. Just promise me that you will give it serious thought."

"I will, I assure you," she nodded. "And of course you may come back for breakfast. Flinn will be delighted."

"I will see you bright and early then," he nodded, placing his hand on the door handle. Yet he seemed to hesitate, turning back around until he was looking directly at her. "Sier...I want to thank you. For coming back, for not hating me…and I especially want to thank you for Flinn. I don't know how to properly express myself, how to show my gratitude. He means more to me than you will ever know."

Sier gave him a knowing smile, understanding more than he realized.

"He is your son, Fili," she assured him. "It is only right that you get to know him. Have a good night."

"You too," he replied, and then he was gone. Leaving Sier alone with a huge decision to make.

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Sier had no idea what time it was, for deep in the heart of the mountain there were no windows to alert her to the coming dawn. Only her internal clock told her it was time to rise and shine, slipping out of the comfortable bed and leaving Flinn still wrapped up in the covers and sound asleep. Usually the little tyke was bouncing around by now, but it had been a very long trip, followed by an even longer night. Meeting his father had apparently worn the little dwarrow out, for he never even stirred as Sier dressed and made her way into the living area to tend to the fire.

Not knowing when Fili might arrive, she wanted to be ready…and hopefully with an answer for him…yet she still had none to give. Sier had lain awake for hours the previous night, agonizing over what to say. Would she agree to this farce of a marriage, or instead allow her pride to stand in the way of her son's future? Both options felt wrong, and yet, Fili had made some extremely valid points – ones she could not ignore.

After Flinn had been born, Sier decided that she would never marry, or even actively seek out her one. How could she do so, in good conscience, when such a life-altering situation would so greatly affect her son? For even if the dwarf she chose to marry loved Flinn, and agreed to raise him as his own, she would still be denying his true father his parental rights. On the other hand, if the dwarf who wished to wed her refused to accept Flinn…well, then she would never accept him! It had been a maddening dilemma, seemingly made right only by her decision to never put anyone above the needs of her child…even herself.

However, with Fili, things were different. He was Flinn's true father and he wanted to spend as much time with the lad as possible. He promised to be kind to Sier, to care for her and see that Flinn received everything he deserved. And then there was the added incentive that if she said yes, her son would not be looked down upon or become the subject of hurtful gossip. So why not marry Fili? The offer was more than generous, and she had already agreed to remain in Erebor so Flinn could be near his father. Even if her original plan had been to ply her trade as a seamstress to afford a living…not become a princess! Yet now, she truly had everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Sier knew that Fili had only proposed in order to protect and ensure his son's happiness, that there had not been any offering of love - simply a friendly coexistence for the sake of their child. Still, even with her previous vow to remain single, was she truly so willing to forgo her chance at finding her one true mate? To find love?

Sitting down on the edge of the little sofa beside the fire she had just restarted, Sier buried her head in her hands and gave a low groan of frustration. Why was this such a difficult decision? Why couldn't life just be simple?

The loud knock at the door broke her from her thoughts, announcing the arrival of the dwarf that was causing all this inner turmoil. Sier was still far from making up her mind, but she could not leave him standing outside the door until the answer came to her either. Flinn's future was on the line, and things needed to be set to rights as quickly as possible…she would speak to Fili and work it all out, once and for all.

Standing up, Sier smoothed down her dress and squared her shoulders before going to the door and pulling it open. Yet her welcoming smile died on her lips when she didn't recognize who was standing on the other side. It was not Fili, like she had anticipated, but instead a rather harrowed looking dwarrowdam with long black hair and piercing blue eyes. While Sier was certain they had never met, the dam did look strangely familiar to her - though she could not understand why.

"May I help you?" Sier asked, noting that the visitor appeared quite anxious, almost nervous in fact.

"You…you are her," the unknown female replied, her eyes roving over Sier in a scrutinizing manner. "You're Sier, aren't you?"

"I am sorry, have we met?" she asked, still eyeing the rather stunning dwarrowdam curiously.

"No, I am afraid the last time you were here, I was away," she told her, suddenly seeming to remember her manners. "Please forgive my rudeness, I am just a bit overwhelmed is all. My name is Dis…and I am Fili's mother."

Sier gave a slight gasp and took a step back, suddenly realizing why she had appeared so familiar to her. This was Thorin's sister, Flinn's grandmother!

"M-m-my Lady," she stammered, opening the door further as she curtsied politely. "Won't you please come in?"

"Thank you, my dear," she nodded entering as Sier shut the door behind her. "I do hope I have not come too early. I just returned from Esgaroth and could not wait a moment more to see if what the message had said was true."

"The message?" Sier questioned, feeling very uncomfortable in the presence of both a princess and Fili's mother. What would she say? What was she thinking?

"Yes, Mister Balin sent a messenger to Esgaroth last night with news of your arrival," Dis replied, undoing the clasp of her still damp cloak, before taking it off. "It reached me in the wee hours of morning and I immediately had my pony saddled and we hurried back as quickly as possible."

"But…isn't Esgaroth many hours away?" Sier asked in surprise, reaching out to take the princess' cloak and hang it on a small peg by the door. "You would have had to begin your journey while it was still dark."

"Yes. Much to the displeasure of those who traveled with me," she nodded, giving a slight laugh. "Yet, I was not about to tarry a moment longer after hearing that the lass my son had…" There she stopped and turned a bit red, searching for the correct words so as not to offend. "I mean…when I heard that you were here, with of all things…Fili's child? Is it true? Did Balin report correctly?"

Sier could tell that the princess was anxious for confirmation, yet she could still not tell if the news pleased her…or if she was scandalized.

Feeling that such things were best discussed sitting down, Sier gestured towards the small sofa near the fireplace. When they were both arranged at opposite ends facing each other, she did her best to answer.

"Yes, it is true," she nodded. "When…when I was here last, and Fili and I…well, we…"

"I know the whole story, my dear," Dis broke in, stopping her from having to say the actual words. "My brother, as well as my son, told me everything. Of how that wicked troll, Bina, manipulated you both and caused this whole mess. As if my son would ever consent to marry a dam that he was not in love with! That selfish cow should be rotting in a prison cell for all the pain she has caused."

Sier could not help but flinch at the mention of her former mistress, as well as Dis' words about Fili only marrying for love. Would she now be shocked to know that her son had proposed to her just last night, especially when there was no love between them? Dis must have noticed the change in her demeanor and leaned in, covering Sier's hand with her own in a comforting gesture.

"My dear, you have to know that Fili was devastated by the knowledge of what she made him do…and to this day, he tortures himself over what happened. The fact that you disappeared directly afterwards has been a source of deep sorrow for him, since he desperately wished to make amends."

"I have assured your son, quite adamantly, that it was not his fault, and that I hold no animosity towards him over the incident," Sier was quick to assure her, seeing that Dis, like any mother, was eager to defend her son. "I know where the true blame lies…and it is not with Fili. However…that does not change the fact that we did indeed create a new life that night."

"And the child is here now…with you?" she asked, now clearly excited as her eyes scanned the room almost desperately.

"He is asleep in the bedroom," Sier explained. "Yesterday was quite exhausting…for everyone. I am sure he will awaken soon."

"He? Fili has a son?" Apparently Balin had not been that specific in his message.

"Yes…he is called Flinn," she added, worried at what Dis might think of her choice of names. Sier prepared herself for shock, surprise and even a possible angry outburst, but the reaction she got from the dwarf princess was quite startling. First she drew back with a gasp, then her eyes grew wide and finally she burst into tears, burying her face in her hands as she began to sob. Sier was frantic, quickly sliding over as she did her best to comfort the distressed dam. "Please don't cry," she soothed. "I am sorry if I have upset you."

"No…no, my dear, please do not misunderstand," Dis insisted, doing her best to regain control of her emotions. "I am very touched by the gesture…truly. That you thought to name him after Fili's father, and my dear husband, means so very much to me. Thank you."

"I am so happy that you approve," Sier said with a sigh of relief. "I was afraid that you might have been offended by my doing so."

"Oh, no! Not at all!" Dis reassured once more, placing her hand over hers where it still rested on her arm. "Fili has very few memories of his father, and Kili even less, but he was an amazing dwarf who loved his family with all he had. Thorin and I, as well as a few others who knew my Flinn well, have done our best to keep his memory alive for them, but this…well, this is just beyond kind. I am deeply moved that you chose to honor his memory this way. How did you know that was his name?"

"Fili mentioned it once when speaking to Bina, and I overheard," she revealed, having committed every detail of their one meeting to memory.

"I…I would dearly love to meet him," Dis said, her eyes once more filling with hopeful anticipation. "If you would permit me of course."

"Certainly!" Sier insisted. "I think Flinn will be more than delighted to meet you as well. It is only that I am reluctant to wake him just yet…like I said, yesterday was a very stressful day. I would prefer him to sleep as long as possible."

"Of course, forgive me," Dis agreed, waving her hand apologetically. "As a mother of two sons myself, I can completely understand not wishing to wake a sleeping child. If your Flinn is anything like my Fili and Kili, it is probably best to let the little one rise on his own. There is nothing worse than a grumpy dwarfling this early in the morning. Besides, this gives you and me a little more time to get to know each other."

"Oh?" Sier asked, a bit afraid of what this grand lady might ask…and what she would think of the answers. Yet before any such questions could be spoken, there came a gentle knock at the door. Excusing herself, Sier rose and went to answer it, finding Fili on the other side, looking both happy and anxious at the same time.

"I hope I am not too early? I asked the kitchen to send breakfast up as soon as it was prepared, but if you need more time, I can tell them to hold off," he asked, apparently willing to stand outside and wait as long as it took to be admitted.

"No, you are not early at all…in fact, one might say you are late," Sier smiled, enjoying his perplexed expression at her words. She then moved aside and invited him in, gesturing towards her current visitor by the fireplace as an explanation.

"Amad!" Fili said in a surprised voice. "I thought you were still in Esgaroth?"

"Balin sent word of what was happening in Erebor, and I returned with great haste," she explained, standing up to greet her son with a warm embrace. "Sier and I have been getting to know each other while we wait for your son to rise." At the mention of his son, Dis' eyes became misty again and she covered her mouth to hold back a small sob. "Oh…my baby has a baby!"

"Amad…please," Fili groused, looking over at Sier with a slight blush to his cheeks. "I am a grown dwarrow."

"It does not matter how old you get, you and Kili will always be my babies," she corrected, reaching up and cupping his still rosy cheek. "Sier understands, after all, she is a mother too." Dis then seemed to become antsy once more, looking towards the door that Sier had revealed housed her grandson. "I just can't wait to meet him…tell me, what does he look like?"

Fili opened his mouth to answer, eager to extol the endless virtues of the lad he had met only yesterday, but before he could, Sier spoke up.

"Actually…I can show you," she announced with a touch of pride. She quickly made her way to one of the satchels that had been brought up to the room the night before, and after rummaging around for a moment, she produced a leather bound book, held closed by a strap and buckle. Coming back, Sier sat down to the right of Dis while Fili took the open spot on his mother's left. Both of them looked at Sier with great anticipation.

"The family I lived with in Himros had a great many talents, and while running the local tailor shop was their main source of income, the wife, Maywen, was also an excellent artist," as she spoke she opened the book and turned to the first page. "As a gift to me - and I am not ashamed to admit, at my constant pleading - she was kind enough to draw pictures of Flinn as he grew. You will have to take my word for it, but she captured his likeness perfectly. An accomplishment I found rather amazing, since he never seemed to stay still for very long, unless he was sleeping."

Both Fili and Dis eagerly took the book from Sier's hands and stared down at the precious charcoal drawings with amazement.

"It is like looking back in time," Dis whispered, tears coming to her eyes as she gazed at the lifelike drawing of an infant in his crib, his little thumb tucked securely in his mouth and his eyes closed in peaceful slumber. "If I did not know better, I would swear this was a portrait of Fili at this age!"

"Even then I could tell that he would resemble his father," Sier nodded, catching Fili's eyes as he looked up at her in surprise. She quickly lowered her head, focusing on the pages and not the haunting blue eyes that continued to stare at her. "I mean…Flinn looked nothing like me, so I figured he must take after Fili."

They all slipped into silence as Fili and Dis enthusiastically sifted through the pages, some bringing smiles to their faces while others caused tears of joy. Sier knew what looking back at these drawings had always meant to her…she could only imagine how precious they were to a father and grandmother who never had the privilege of seeing little Flinn in person at such an age.

As they continued on, they were treated with renditions of the dwarfling engaged in everything from drinking out of a cup, taking his first steps, playing with a set of blocks, to even sitting in a puddle of mud with a very pleased grin on his dirty little face. This one caused both of them to burst out in laughter, especially when the very next page showed Flinn sitting in a metal basin of water, his scrunched up expression revealing that he was not at all pleased by it.

"Bath time is Flinn's least favorite thing in the world," Sier explained when she saw which page they had come to. "One would think I used warm soapy water as a torture device with the way he puts up a fuss."

"Try wrangling two such reluctant dwarflings into a tub of water!" Dis laughed, looking over at her slightly embarrassed son once again. "Fili and Kili both simply hated taking baths. I swear they enjoyed rolling around in the dirt and mud more than the pigs raised by the farmers down the road. And every time I tried to get them clean…I ended up wetter than them. I was beginning to think they were morally opposed to being clean."

"A phase I quickly grew out of, I can assure you," Fili said with a huff of indignation, not liking the fact that he was suddenly the subject of his mother's amusing stories.

"That is true…but it took more than a few years, and in the meantime I thought you two were out to drive me mad," Dis laughed.

"Perhaps we were," Fili suggested, raising his eyebrows up and down a few times in a comical gesture.

"King Thorin told me about some of the pranks you and your brother played on people when you were younger," Sier spoke up, just as equally amused. "I said that I did not believe him at the time…but now, I see it might have been the honest truth."

"Oh, I assure you it was," Dis nodded in agreement, looking back over at Fili with a raised eyebrow. "And if anyone should know, it would be Thorin. I think he got the worst of all the pranks you two played on anyone…isn't that right?"

Once more Fili's face turned a bit red at the recollection of all the silly jokes he and Kili had played on their unsuspecting uncle. Still, he too could not help but laugh, for even if they had got in trouble for most of them, at the time they had been immensely enjoyable and he looked back on the events with great fondness.

Their merriment, however, came to an abrupt halt, when movement and the distinct sound of two little feet hitting the floor was heard from the bedroom. Sier could see that both Dis and Fili were eager for the little dwarfling to emerge, one having never seen the child before, while the other one could never get enough. She had to laugh inwardly at just how much restraint they seemed to be exercising, not to jump to their feet and race in to see him.

"Well…it would appear that someone has finally woke up," Sier told them, standing up. "If you will excuse me, I will be right back."

And before you get your nickers in a twist about me stopping here...just remember, I gave you a BIG Fili/Sier talk AND Lady Dis. So, no giving me the evil eye, ha ha.

So what did you think of my rendition of Dis?

And did Sier respond to Fili the way you thought she might?

Guest Reviews:

Aranel Mereneth: Thanks for the catch. I read your review only minutes after you posted it and hustled to get it fixed. Your keen eye is appreciated. As you see from what I wrote above about Fili's dad and his mom, a dwarf can be around his ONE for a while but not even know it. BUT when they are both 'ready', it moves pretty fast. (At least in THIS story version) More on that later, Dis will be somewhat forthcoming in later chapters. But for now...with all the strange happenings when they first met, things kind of got wonkey and the natural course of events got derailed. Lets just hope they can get things figured out and back on track soon. OK? Thanks for your desire for more chapters, but I must limit them a little bit or I will run out and you will all be left waiting while I actually WRITE something, and I do not do well under the gun. ha ha. Thanks!

Guest: Well, as you can see he did not get rejected TOO hard…just put off. And Yes, I think if she did end up yelling at him, he WOULD fall for her all the more. Ha ha. And your "blah, blah, honor, pride, compromise' thing just cracked me up! Grandma Dis has ARRIVED!

Guest: Well, since I do post daily, it is a good thing you DO check, ha ha. Thanks for your kind words, I am happy that you 'can't wait for more'.

Guest: You are very welcome for all the updates and I am happy you like my characters of Flinn and Sier. Of course Bina will be back – it would be wasteful to not have her pop back up later on after I spent all the time creating a character you all love to hate. Ha ha.

Mjean: Yah...that head bump thing gets me every time. Such a dwarf guy thing to do.