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Yes, yes, I know it is not technically Monday...but, I wrote TWO chapters this weekend to add to my stockpile, and I aim to celebrate by posting early. ha ha.

And I suppose it is Monday someplace in the world right now!

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Chapter 14

~X~

The rest of the day passed by as if in a whirlwind. There was a secret wedding to arrange and Fili's belongings to move - as well as what little Sier and Flinn had brought with them. It was decided that he would vacate the apartment he shared with Kili and move back into his previous royal chambers, the rooms being much more appropriate for him and his new family. When it was brought to her attention that they would indeed now be sharing quarters, Sier could not help but blanch slightly. Fili must have noticed, and was quick to explain his reasons.

"Once we have announced that my wife and son have returned to the mountain, all its inhabitants will naturally assume that we would begin to cohabitate," he told her. "In fact, even our son expects it of us…and we can't let him down, now can we?"

"I…I know you are right," she said with a nod and weak smile. "It just took me by surprise is all…things are happening so fast."

"I know, and I will do all I can to help you assimilate…I promise," Fili assured her. "Just hold on for a few more days and then things will calm down. Just remember to breathe, Sier," he teased, grateful that this brought a small grin to her lips.

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Bofur had been assigned the duty of entertaining Flinn during all the preparations, taking the youngster to his cousin's workshop. There they built, carved and painted on every sort of toy one could imagine, much to the lad's delight. In the meantime, Thorin had barricaded himself in his study with Balin, ignoring all who had made petitions to speak with him upon his return, in favor of writing down in great detail what would need to be announced the following day. Dis had taken on the job of preparing Sier for her nuptials, helping the nervous dam rehearse the traditional vows, dress and arrange her hair with the expected marriage braid. Fili would be adding the finishing touch at the wedding, by capping off the plait with a clasp marked by the family of Durin. Flinn would receive similar beads the following day, marking them both as members of the royal family…Fili's family.

"Don't look so nervous, my dear," Dis said in an encouraging voice. She stood behind Sier and stared over her shoulder at their reflections in the full length mirror. "Perhaps this is not the wedding you might have expected…but it is for the best. I promise."

"It is just that I never thought I would ever marry…at least not after Flinn was born," she muttered, fingering the marriage braid that hung from the left side of her temple once more. True, she had worn one for years as a ruse to fool any who might question Flinn's parentage…but this one seemed different. This one would be real! "I had given up on this dream a long time ago. It's just so very hard to accept that this is happening."

"I am willing to bet that you never expected a lot of this to happen to you…but it has," Dis said, giving her shoulders a firm squeeze. "And through it all, you have held up admirably, soldiering on bravely in the face of adversity. That is what is expected of a true queen…a role you will have no trouble filling when the time comes." She then gave the girl a big smile. "Yet it is not something you must concern yourself with for a good many years. My brother is known for his stubborn ways and I do not see him stepping down and turning the kingdom over to Fili for a very long time. He fought far too hard for his right to the throne and he will not be giving it up any time soon."

"I suppose that is a small relief," Sier laughed, knowing that Dis was doing her best to alleviate her worry.

"And while you do not know my son very well," she continued, turning the still worried Sier around so that they were now facing each other, "I can assure you that he is made of the finest mettle. He takes after his father in so many ways, not only in his appearance. He has my Flinn's strength of character, his lightheartedness, his conviction and most of all, his compassion. Not to sound prideful, seeing that I was the one to raise him, but any dwarrowdam would be most fortunate to call Fili her mate. I know he will do everything in his power to make you happy and live up to the expectations of a good husband. You have nothing to worry about, Sier. I promise." Leaning in, she gave her a warm embrace. "Now, it would appear that you are quite ready…perhaps I should pop over and see if Fili has managed to dress himself without missing a button or two in his haste. Can't have him looking disheveled on his wedding day, now can we?"

"Thank you, Lady Dis," Sier smiled as the older dwarrowdam headed for the door. "I truly appreciate all you have done for me."

"That's what family is for, dear." And with a final wink and a smile, she was gone.

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Fili had spent hours moving his belongings back to his old quarters, as well as clearing out the little office he had mostly used for storage for Flinn's new bedroom. He had found it extremely enjoyable to see the small bed set in place, a wardrobe for his clothes and even a few decorations he thought the lad might appreciate adorning the walls. When it was finished, he and Kili stepped back, admiring their work.

"Never thought I would be helping you prepare a room for your child," Kili laughed. "It still seems so surreal."

"Tell me about it," Fili agreed, though the wide grin that was plastered across his face told his brother that it was something he thoroughly enjoyed. "I always knew I wanted a family…someday. But to suddenly have one, with a son no less…I just feel like I am bubbling over with joy."

"You look it too," Kili laughed, draping his arm over his brother's shoulder. "Hard for me to picture you as a dwarrow of responsibility though. Does this mean our days of childish pranks are over? That you must set a good example for Flinn and all?"

"Well…I suppose I will have to play the part of a respectable parent most of the time," he agreed, stroking his short beard in thought. "However, how is my son ever going to learn the fine art of tormenting his Uncle Kili if I do not show him some of my old tricks?"

"You mean that you would team up with him against me…your own brother?" Kili sounded shocked, though his face did not look it. "Well, if that is the case, perhaps I should go have a talk with Sier. As your future wife, perhaps she needs to know a few things about you that only I can disclose."

"Oh, like what?" Fili asked, genuinely interested.

"Like how you're a slobby mess and never pick up your clothes," he began, slowly making his way towards the door.

"Me? You are the slob!" Fili argued.

"You are just as bad," Kili corrected. "She might also like to be warned about how your boots smell like the inside of an orc cave after a long march, or that you slurp your soup when you eat, and perhaps how you snore loud enough to wake the dead. But then again, I am sure she will find out that bit of information the first night you two share a room." He gave a sly grin at Fili as he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. "So, Nadad, you better think twice before pranking me…because I have an endless amount of embarrassing information I would be only too happy to share in retaliation." And with a jaunty salute the younger prince shut the door behind him.

Fili was left standing there in shock. Not at the teasing threats his brother had laid out, but at the sudden realization which had struck him. Kili was right…Sier would come to learn all his bad habits, and while that was only mildly upsetting, what truly had him rattled was the fact that once they were married, they would be sharing a bedroom. Or at least that is what little Flinn would expect. The thought had not occurred to Fili, and he and Sier had not even discussed the idea. Would she object? The apartment only had the two rooms, besides the living quarters and the kitchen…was she expecting him to sleep out here on the sofa? Should he offer to do so? And what might happen if she did consent to sleeping in the same room with him…to sharing a bed…the same one where something had happened between them before!

Fili suddenly felt very flushed, and he could feel the blood drain from his face. No…he could not let such a thing take place again! He could not live with himself if he were to somehow lose control a second time. Granted, he had been drugged before, but since then he had experienced many dreams concerning that night, and what if in a deep sleep, lost in such a dream, he dared to act them out on the poor unsuspecting lass lying beside him? No! He would make sure that did not happen!

Rushing to the door he jerked it open, his eyes quickly searching until they fell upon a young page walking down the hall.

"You!" he barked, getting the young dwarrow's attention. "Go find Oin, the healer, and bring him here…immediately!"

The prince's tone was such that it caused the lad to jump at his command, rushing off as quickly as his legs would carry him.

Fili went back inside and shut the door, running his fingers through his hair as he fought back that familiar feeling of dread and shame. By forcing his body to waken, and then taking away his free will in the matter, Bina had done more damage than she could probably realize. And while Oin's potion had been successful in alleviating the effects it had caused to his body…his mind had yet to heal. Still, Fili was determined that such a thing would never be repeated. He would not force himself upon Sier a second time, and he needed to find a way to guarantee that!

While he waited, Fili began to dress for the wedding, putting on his very best official garb. Normally he hated wearing such finery, being far more used to his every day leathers and comfortable tunic, yet this was one day he did not begrudge them. He was just slipping on his over shirt, bearing the crest of Durin, when there came a knock at the door. Assuming it was Oin at last, he rushed forward and yanked it open, his greeting already on his lips.

"It is about time you got here, you old…" but his next words died in the air as he saw that it was not Oin at all, but his mother.

"I certainly hope you were not talking about me," she chided, raising an eyebrow at him as she made her way inside, not even waiting to be invited. "You might be a grown dwarrow, but calling your mother old will still earn you a stern reprimand."

"Of course I didn't mean you, Amad," Fili assured her, his cheeks turning a bit red as he shut the door behind her. "You are far from old, you are young, beautiful and in the prime of your life…and you know it."

"You're forgiven then," she smiled, patting his cheek. "But who were you expecting then?"

"No one," he lied, turning away as he walked over to his mirror, busying himself with his clothes in hopes that his mother would drop the subject. Thankfully she did, and was soon fussing over his outfit, forgetting all about her question.

"You look very handsome," she complimented him, once he had every article in place. "Sier will not be able to take her eyes off of you during the ceremony."

"If that is the case it will only be because she is staring at me with suspicion," he huffed. "The poor dam is being cornered into a marriage she does not want, after having given birth to my son…again, not of her choosing."

"Do you honestly think she regrets having Flinn?" Dis asked, knowing what his answer would be.

"No, of course not," Fili assured her. "But given the chance I am certain she would have wished to have him through much different circumstances. Now she is being tied to me and a marriage of conveniences, when I am sure she had once dreamed of falling in love."

"And what about you…you said you dreamed of her, of the two of you marrying. Right?" she pressed, watching him with hopeful eyes.

"Yes," he replied, suddenly getting a faraway look in his eyes. "She was radiant…smiling and appeared very happy. And when I put my bead in her hair, it felt…" There he stopped, coming out of his musings as he looked at his mother in embarrassment.

"It felt like what?" she prompted, desperate for his answer.

"It does not matter what it felt like," he said, brushing off the question as if the truth bothered him. "It was a dream, nothing more. Yet today we must both face reality and the fact that I will stop at nothing to make sure that she does not regret her decision today. I will make sure she is happy, Amad…I swear it!"

"I know you will, my heart," she smiled, her eyes turning a bit misty.

Another knock at the door had Fili's head spinning around, a look of worry coming to his face.

"Who could that be?" Dis asked, ignoring her son's discomfort and going to the door. When she opened it and found Oin standing there, her eyes narrowed slightly. "What are you doing here…old friend?" she asked, looking back over her shoulder at Fili questioningly.

"I…I asked him to come," he admitted, signaling the grey bearded healer to enter.

"Are you not well?" Dis questioned, now suddenly worried about her oldest.

"Physically I am fine," he assured her. "But mentally…I am not so sure." He then turned and looked at his dwarrow friend. "I was hoping that maybe I could get some more of that herbal mixture from you, Oin."

"You…you want him to give you the elixir that will awaken you?" Dis gasped, taking a step back and placing her hand over her heart in shock.

"NO!" Fili all but yelled, mortified that his mother would think such a thing. "I am asking for the exact opposite! I want the potion that will keep me asleep…like stone."

"What? Why?" Dis was really confused now. "Why would you ask for such a thing?"

"Because, Amad," Fili moaned, unable to believe he was having this conversation with her, "I am afraid of what I might do. I fear that because of what happened in the past between her and I, that my body might…well, remember."

"And this would be a bad thing?" she asked. "You fear your body waking up on its own?"

"No, not on its own!" He began to pace back and forth, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "What if the potion I was given was not a onetime thing…what if it affected me mentally, and if I ever find Sier and I alone together…that I might...lose control and…"

"And what?" Dis begged to know.

"And attack her…take her against her will like some deranged animal…AGAIN!" Fili blurted out, rage and fear battling within him.

What Dis did next was something she had never expected to do in her life. She drew her hand back and slapped her son across his face…hard.

"I never want to hear you speak about yourself like that again! Do you hear me?" Dis roared, tears springing to her eyes, both from his hateful words, as well as the physical reprimand she had just delivered. "You are not some deranged animal, you are my son! And you have more integrity and honor than any dwarrow I have ever known. What was done to you and Sier was vile and hateful, but none of it was within your control to prevent." Her face then turned soft, and she stepped up, placing her hand gently over the spot she had just struck. "I love you, Fili, more than you will ever know, and it hurts me deeply to see you in such pain. But you can't spend the rest of your life hiding behind some potion…you need to stand on your own two feet and know that in your heart you would never do anything that would dishonor you or Sier…not while you have your wits about you."

Fili had been temporarily stunned by his mother's sudden and unexpected slap, for never in his life had he, or Kili, ever received more than a stern look from her. As children, that was all it took for them to immediately be repentant over whatever offense they had committed. Thorin might have cuffed them a time or two, as did Dwalin when they were goofing off and not paying attention to his instructions in weaponry, but never their mother. Yet as he listened to her words, he began to see just how much his mental anguish over what happened must have affected her as well. He had been so caught up in his own misery that he had failed to see how it was hurting those around him, and suddenly he felt even worse. Both arms shot out and he pulled his mother into his embrace, burying his head in the crook of her shoulder like he used to do as a dwarfling.

"I am sorry, Ama," he all but sobbed. "I am so sorry, for everything."

"There, there, my little one," she soothed, stroking the back of his head as she did her best to comfort him. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I…I just didn't want to risk losing control again…never again!" he confessed, at last pulling back and allowing her to wipe away the few tears that had managed to escape.

"Fili, that will never happen," she told him firmly, then turned to look at the somewhat uncomfortable dwarf who stood silently nearby. "Tell him, Oin…tell him he has nothing to worry about."

The elderly healer cleared his throat and did his best to regain some of the composure he had lost at witnessing his friend and prince break down. He had known Fili still felt remorse over the incident, he had just not known to what extent.

"I am afraid that I am not familiar with all the effects such a potion might have on a dwarrow," he felt obligated to confess. "Yes, it woke him before he found his one, and when mixed with the sleeping draught he was given, it left him without the ability to control his actions. However, there is no evidence or anything that suggests that it would cause any lasting effects. As far as I can tell, Fili, you should only feel those urges again should you ever encounter your one."

"As far as you can tell?" Fili repeated, not trusting his words. Especially since on multiple occasions, after having one of his more vivid nightmares about that night, he had woke feeling very much…well, not stone like at all. "So you admit there is still a chance that being in close proximity with Sier might stir up some latent urges…some ghost feelings, as it were?"

"There is also a chance that the sky could fall tomorrow or the rivers will dry up," Dis argued, throwing out a few unrealistic examples. "Fili, there are no guarantees in life. You must simply do the best you can and try not to go around borrowing trouble. You are a prince of Erebor, you have a family who loves you, a thoroughly delightful son, and a dwarrowdam of amazing strength who has agreed to be your wife. Just be happy. That has ever been my wish for you and Kili…to simply be happy."

Fili still felt unsure, he still harbored deep seeded fear and doubt…but his mother was right. He had lived with this oppressive guilt for far too long, guilt that Sier herself had absolved him of. He would never forgive Bina or stop hating what had been done to him…to them, but the fact that he now had a son would never leave him to regret it. It was time to turn the page, start things off with Sier, and their marriage, on a good note. He would be happy! In fact, the more he thought about it…he was happy!

"You're right, Amad," he told her in a resolute voice. "Dwelling on the past accomplishes nothing. I have a future to think about, a son to love, and a wife I am determined to please. And that is just what I plan to do…starting with our wedding."

"That's the spirit," she smiled proudly, before turning a stern eye towards Oin. "And I never want to hear that you gave him any more potions, to wake him up or to put him to sleep, do you hear me? If my son is to feel anything, good or bad, it will be on his own. Understand?"

"Yes, my lady," he agreed, bowing deeply.

"Fine. Now, do you have the marriage bead?" she asked, knowing that Thorin had instructed both Fili and Kili to craft the necessary ornaments before he even began inviting dams to the mountain over five years ago.

"Yes, I do," he nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the golden clasp that bore his insignia. "I regret that I did not have the chance to give her the courting bead and the engagement one as well…but I suppose this one is the most important."

"Indeed," Dis smiled knowingly. "It is the one that counts today. Now, we best hurry this along, we have a wedding to attend," she told them both, quickly returning to the confident and optimistic mother Fili knew and loved so dearly.

Looks like Mother Dis has talked some sense into her confused little boy. Now he can leave the guilt behind and get on with his marriage...right? Well, let's just hope. ha ha.

And yes, the wedding is next, so dress nice and bring an appropriate gift (Dwarves like gold and shiny weapons...or an Arkenstone, if you happen to have one just lying around).

Guest Reviews:

Guest: I am so glad you look forward to seeing my updates, trust me, I am just as tickled when I see everyone's reviews. And as of Sunday night, I now have 17 chapters stockpiled. ha ha.

Mjean: Oh, no, I LOVED your jail joke, I read your review to my husband and he laughed as well. Even my mother found it funny when I shared it with her when she stopped by. And while I TRY to eek out a chapter or two during the week, things just seem far too busy to do anything seriously, so they mostly get written on the weekends.