Chapter Notes

Disclaimers: I do not own Invader Zim

Author's Note's: So I know you all just want them to do it already, but it doesn't work that way! You've got to build up to these things, enemies just don't have sex with each other out of the blue...or do they? Anyway thanks for reading and please enjoy.

PS. For those who don't remember on the show Gir calls Dib, Mary, I'm not sure why he does, but he does.

[After School, at Dib's House]

His life was over…

Dib fell face first into his bed in utter defeat! "I can't believe I did that!" He screamed into his sheets. What was he thinking? Had he gone completely mental? Dib groaned and turned over, staring at his celling. "He's going to torture me with this forever!" He whined.

After they were let out of the detention room Dib didn't see Zim for the rest of the day, and he wasn't on the bus ride home either! 'He's up to something!' he thought. Dib knew this to be true, for the alien only skipped class when he was getting ready for another scheme. 'I can't face him, not after what happened!' Dib bit his lip as the moment played in his mind again. Him Kissing Zim, and then even worse Zim Kissing him back!

"There now we're even!"

Dib moisten his lips with his tongue. Zim's mouth didn't feel all weird and gross like he thought an alien mouth might felt. In fact, he was sure it felt like any other kiss would have with a normal human. Dib moaned in frustration as he realized he was still obsessing over Zim sexually. 'I thought kissing him would snap me out of this!' He thought.

Apparently, he was wrong! 'Now I've only managed to make it worse!'

"Dib it's time for dinner." Gaz said opening his door.

"I'm not hungry." Dib admitted.

"Are you still mad about this morning with Dad?" She asked.

"No, I'm used to it." Dib said.

"Is it about Zim?" Gaz pressed, joining him on the bed.

"No!" Dib yelled a little too loudly. "I mean of course not. Why would you think that?"

"You've been acting weird around him lately, and you fought in school today for the first time in like forever." She pointed out the obvious.

'If she notices, then so does everyone else!' Dib panicked. "My life is ruined." He mumbled.

"Is it that bad?" Gaz asked.

Dib sighed, and sat up. He had to get things back to normal around here, and maybe he could start with Gaz. "Look Gaz I appreciate you being nice to me really, but I just want everything to go back to normal." He admitted.

"Oh?" Gaz asked.

"Everyone stares at me." Dib said. "My teachers are taking pity on me. Zim and I are…" he paused. "Well we're in a weird place right now. Plus you are being extremely too nice to me, and I just want things to be back the way it was."

"Are you sure Dib?" Gaz asked. "Because once I do there is no converting back. I'll stay mean forever!"

"I'm sure." Dib nodded.

"Very well." Gaz said, and then suddenly her features grew dark. "So, you're tired of everyone pitying you?" she asked.

"Uh yeah." Dib said.

"Then fucking grow a pair and show them you're not something to pity!" Gaz screamed.

Dib watched her in shock as she gets up from his bed, only to turn back to him once she go out the door. "How's that?" She asked.

Dib found a smile slipping on his face. "Thanks Gaz."

"Yeah whatever." She said. "Now come eat dinner now, and no I don't care about you. Dad will kill me if I let you starve!"

Dib forced himself to get out of bed, and followed her down stairs where they ate, alone. So now home life was back to normal. 'Now I just have deal with school and…Zim.' Dib gulped.

Why?

Because he had a bad feeling that there was no coming back from what he had done. And soon he would discover that he was absolutely right!

[At Zim's Base...]

Human affection…

It always eluded him! Zim's brow frowned as he looked over his research thoughtfully. On Earth, when two males took part in a relationship together it was called being Gay, which was greatly frowned upon in some parts of the planet. So, both of them were taking part in a taboo of sorts. Zim didn't necessarily want to be in any kind of relationship with the boy at all, but for years he had tried and failed to neutralize him as a threat. Now he had something to use, and he needed to waste no time allowing the boy to adjust. Zim continued his research. "Most gay relationships are made up of a submissive role and a dominate role." He read out loud. "Well obviously, I'm the dominate one." He said.

"Relationships are often full of flirting or teasing." Gir read.

"Gir for the last time get off my head!" Zim demanded.

"Master is that why you're mean to Mary?" Gir asked, not moving from his head.

"What?" Zim asked.

"It says here often when a boy picks on a girl that means he likes her." Gir said reading on. "Do you like Mary Master?"

"No Gir, but doing things that would make people think so sure is having a desired effect on the enemy." Zim said thoughtfully.

Gir gasped. "Mary likes you!?"

"Yes, Gir I think he does have some kind of feelings for me, and I plan to use it against him." Zim admitted to his little minion. "I'm just not sure how, I'm not savvy when it comes to this kind of stuff."

"I am!" Gir said.

"Sure, you are Gir." Zim said rolling his eyes.

"No really, I watch romance movies all the time, and they aren't all rated PG either if you know what I mean." Gir said.

"No Gir I don't know what you mean and that is the problem here!" Zim snapped.

"Well what does he do?" Gir asked.

"DO?" Zim asked.

"Yeah, how do you know he likes you?" Gir asked.

"Well for one thing he kissed me!" Zim said.

"Mary kissed you?" Gir exclaimed.

"Yes, it was weird." Zim admitted.

"Weird in a good way, or in a bad way?" Gir asked.

"Well it didn't make me sick." Zim admitted.

"Good, what else."

"He keeps blushing when I look at him." Zim said.

"That's good, it means he likes you." Gir said.

"I knew it!" Zim exclaimed.

"What else." Gir asked.

"Well he stares a lot, and he said he dreamed about use having…um" Zim pauses looking unsure if he should go on.

"Having what?" Gir pressed him.

"Sex." Zim said.

"Oh so he's attracted to you sexually, not cause he has real feelings for you." Gir realized.

"There a difference?" Zim asked.

"Yep, what you want to do is tease him." Gir said.

"How?" Zim asked.

"I don't know." Gir said. "I'm better with the romance stuff myself."

Zim rolled his eyes. "Well at least I know its base of a sexual drive. Now I don't have to pretend to like or love him." He gaged at the thought, and continued his research. It didn't take him long to come across a familiar word. "Gir, Fuck is another word for Sex?!" he exclaimed.

"Yep!" Gir agreed.

"Oh, Now I get why he turned red." Zim said.

"Why who turned red?" Gir asked.

"Dib said something to me and what I said back made him turn red." Zim said, looking over more research.

"What he say?" The computer brain asked.

"Um?" Zim asked.

"What Mary say master?" Gir repeated.

"Oh he said fuck you. Or something like that." Zim said casually, not really listening.

"And what did you say?" The computer brain pressed.

"Oh uh, you know I heard that phrase before, so I just repeat the normal response to it which is: name the time and place." Zim said, still not paying attention.

"Sir, you did it." The computer brain stated.

"Did what." Zim asked not getting it.

"You tease the Dib sexually." The computer brain said as if it was obvious.

"Oh, yeah I suppose I did-" Zim paused as if getting it for the first time. "That's all it is, saying filthy things."

"Pretty much." The computer brain told him.

"Humans are such animals." Zim said in disgust. "So filthy! However, for the sake of the mission I will keep pushing it with Dib, after all it seems to be the only thing that stops him in his tracks."

"This won't end well" The computer brain warned. "The Tallest will not be pleased."

"The Tallest will not find out, besides it's not like they ever call!" Zim snapped.

"You think they've lost faith in you?" The computer brain asked.

"Worse." Zim admitted. "I'm beginning to wonder if they ever had faith in me in the first place."

"You did royally screw up." The computer brain pointed out.

Zim sighed, the truth was he had caught on to the Tallest true feelings about him a long time ago. Which was one of the reason why he no longer bothered to call them. But he'd prove his worth to them. One day the Tallest would realize how much they needed him, and how much they needed the Earth! Until then he would continue his mission. Zim flips a switch on his controls and some surveillance screens pull up images of inside Dib's house. His eyes narrowed on his foe who was busily eating his evening meal.

"I will defeat you Dib." He swore. "Even if that means I must commit a thousand taboos, I will win." He chuckled. "I will make myself your weakness, and then you will no longer have the will to fight against me!"

Yes, soon Dib would be powerless to stop him, and then all the Earth would belong to Zim!

Chapter End Notes

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This is Emily Signing off...