DISCLAIMER: Hetalia: Axis Powers – Hidekaz Himaruya

AND Dracula – Bram Stoker

CASTLES IN THE AIR

EPILOGUE

20 AUGUST 1897

A part of me still feels as insubstantial as a ghost as I sit in this room, writing into a shallow, unquiet night.

Time matters here. I am resentfully aware of it as I refill the lamp for the second time since beginning this account. Soon, the housekeeper will knock to deliver my breakfast—I have refused to take meals in front of anyone—and my laundry. Soon, the proprietor will settle my bill and I will give him the last of my money. Soon, the coach will arrive and the driver will wait impatiently for me to porter my luggage down the stairs. Soon, a train whistle will blow and its engine will heat, belching black coal smoke into a bright blue sky, and the wheels will turn, taking me back to my once beloved Sofia. Soon, I will be delivered into the arms of my awaiting, worried parents.

Soon, but not yet.

It is dark still. The moon has not yet set on my fantasy.

Most people are forced to play a role in life for which they have no qualifications, and I used to count myself among them. A house, a wife, a family—I have no interest in any of these things, and yet I know they will be expected of me when I return home. I used to fear the inevitability of it all, which is why I ran away into the Carpathians in the first place; why I accepted an expedition so far removed from society. I was a university graduate with a secure job in a respectable firm, with many opportunities for promotion; a young, well-liked and not unattractive man with many prospects of marriage; a man of a modest fortune, but a good reputation and respectable family. And yet, I had ran off into the mountains as if my life depended on it, and only now do I realize it had. If I had not gotten lost, met my lord, fallen in love, and nearly died, I would have followed the path of monogamy and monotony and it would have killed me. Slowly and subtly strangled by time, or from a quick drop and sudden stop by my own hands. Either way, I would be dead just the same.

If I could have stayed with my Vladimir forever, I would have, for there was never a retreat from the world so promising as that castle in the air. My tormented heart still yearns for him and will always do so, but it yearns now for freedom as well. Freedom that I will chase, or die trying.

I will return to Bulgaria, for I had vanished from human ken for three months and then reappeared without warning, so I owed an explanation to my employer, my parents, but I will not stay with them long. I will take the next expedition available to me, no matter the distance or danger. I will travel by locomotive or by steamship or balloon if I have to. I will discover the secrets of the world. I will smile at beautiful boys and be kind to them and whisper sweet words into their lips in the dark. I will be true to myself, because life is too short for regrets. And always I will love the vampire who taught me these things, who saved my life in more ways than I could ever have known.

My Vladimir. My love.

And now, upon completion of this secret account, I shall burn it to protect myself, my lord, and any unsuspecting successor to my experience. Perhaps, someday, such accounts as mine will be welcome in society, but it is not this day. I may never live to see the day when men like me need not hide, but in the meantime I will live.

Yes, live.

THE END

THANK-YOU for reading. Reviews are always welcome and appreciated :)