December 11, 2018

"Hey, Maggie," Kara said as Maggie stepped up onto the helipad.

"Hey," Maggie said. She walked across the helipad, and carefully lowered herself to sit next to Kara, her legs dangling over the side. It was a little difficult with her arm in the sling, and she was aware of Kara watching her the wrong time, but she managed it, and as stupid as it sounded, she appreciated Kara not offering to help. "Nice work today."

Kara gave a weak shrug, and reached into the bag next to her, and pulled out a custard filled chocolate éclair and passed it over to Maggie. Maggie took it in her good hand.

"You know, most people I know would consider catching a mass murderer and a domestic terrorist on the same day cause for celebration."

"Most people you know probably wouldn't get fired for it."

"What?"

"Did you see the new footage of Lockwood's arrest?"

"Yeah."

"You remember the part where he asked who I am?"

"Hard to miss."

"Well, apparently, the President decided that Lockwood had a point. He demanded my secret identity. He wanted to release it to the public. I told him no, and he fired me from the DEO, and threatened me."

"Shit. What did you do?"

"I may have threatened him back, then come up here and had a good cry."

Maggie couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her. Kara looked over at her, glaring. "I texted you so you could come comfort me!"

"I'm sorry," Maggie said. "It's just… You threatened the President of the United States, and then stopped to get donuts on your way to cry on top of CatCo."

"Donuts cheer me up," Kara said.

"Kara, sugar cheers you up. I swear I used to have a running bet with myself about how long it was going to be before I found you snorting confectioner's sugar through a rolled-up dollar bill."

Kara frowned. "Why would I do that? I couldn't taste it if I snorted it."

Maggie laughed even harder than before, and the corner of Kara's mouth pulled up just a little.

"You're pulling my leg, aren't you?" Maggie asked.

"A little," Kara said. "I mean, I have seen Wolf of Wallstreet."

"Of course you have," Maggie said. "I'm sorry about what happened. I know how much working with Alex and the DEO means to you."

Kara turned and looked out over the city. "I don't know how I'm going to do this without their help. I mean, they've been there, right since the beginning. I would have died in my first real fight if Alex hadn't shown up."

"You've come a long way since then," Maggie said. "Kara, I've seen you go toe to toe with monsters that would make anyone else run away. I know it will be tough, but you can do this. And honestly, right now, the world needs Supergirl. Probably more than it ever has. Things are getting bad out there. You're a symbol of hope. A symbol of what aliens can give to this world. You are a reminder that they don't have to be afraid. People need to see that right now. They need to see Supergirl, out there, helping people. And they need Kara Danvers, downstairs, showing them what every day aliens look like."

"You've been reading my stories?" Kara asked.

Maggie shrugged and looked away. "I may have read one or two."

"What did you think?"

"They were…" Maggie turned, and saw the hopeful expression on Kara's face, and swallowed the dismissive comment that was on the tip of her tongue. "They were good, Kara. Really good. You should be proud."

"Thank you." Kara reached into the bag and pulled out another donut, and took a bite, chewing slowly. "I don't understand it."

"Understand what?" Maggie asked.

"Lockwood killed people. He organized a hate campaign. He planned to murder aliens in their homes. But somehow, I'm the bad guy, because I won't tell people my secret identity."

"You're not the bad guy Kara. You're a hero. You've saved more lives than I can count. You've saved the whole god damned world."

"Why doesn't that matter?" Kara asked. "I've done so much for this city, for this whole planet. I don't ask for anything in return. Not even a thank you, really. But now, it's like I haven't done any of it. I'm just some alien who doesn't belong here."

"Yeah," Maggie said. "I know how that feels."

Kara looked over at her.

"Did Alex tell you the story about how my parents found out I was gay?"

"Not really," Kara said. "Just that they found out on Valentines day, and they threw you out."

"Yeah. That's the short version. I had this friend. Elisa Wilkey. I kind of knew I was gay by that point, but Elisa was the first girl I ever really liked. We got to be friends, and I fell hard for her. We used to hang out in her basement and watch horror movies and sneak cigarettes, and I thought she was the coolest person in the world. And she paid attention to me and she treated me like I mattered, like I wasn't some freak, or a burden. I was in love with her, or I thought I was. I mean, I was fourteen. What the fuck does a fourteen year old know about being in love? But I convinced myself I was, and I convinced myself she felt the same way. So, on Valentine's day, I shipped a card in her locker, telling her how I felt. Literally the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. She gave the card to her parents, who called my dad, and when I came home, he was waiting for me, with a suitcase. He took me to my aunt's house, and he left me there, and I didn't see him again until my and Alex's wedding shower. Where, after being invited to my very gay wedding shower, he freaking out over the fact that I kissed my fiancée and stormed out in a rage."

"Rao, that's awful."

"Yeah," Maggie said. "Not great memories on my best day. But um… relevant. You see, I have spent years of my life circulating in the queer community, and in the alien community, and when I'm in those communities I'm comfortable. I'm safe. The aliens who know me, like me. They know I've got their backs. The queer people, I'm one of them. I don't have a lot of close friends, but I know people, and people know me, and I do okay. So, you know, most days I don't notice the fact that there are people out there who hate me, just for existing. Most days, outside of work, I just exist in this happy little mix of queer people and aliens, and the hate and the intolerance are something that happens in some distant far off place. Even at work, people keep their mouth shut, because HR policies are pretty strict, and these days the city actually enforces them because they don't want to get sued. So, when something happens like, I make a stupid decision and let Alex convince me to try to reconcile with my dad, and all that hate gets thrown up in my face, it hurts like hell.

"What you're seeing is that. We were all in our little bubble, you know. Alien Amnest had been past. We had a progressive President who was pushing for the expansion of alien rights. Cadmus has been sent packing, and everything seemed okay. And then someone invited a bigot to the party and gave them a megaphone.

"The hate, the fear, it was always out there, just like dad. We couldn't see it because it was outside of our bubble. But now, it's up in our face. And the thing about bigots is, they attract each other. They make each other bold. One of them gets a platform and starts screaming and the others join in. That's what happened with Lockwood. He started screamed, and all the other bigots came out of the woodwork to scream along with him, and right now, they are screaming so loud, they are drowning out the people who do remember everything you've done. The people that love Supergirl."

"You think so?"

"I do," Maggie said. "But I will admit, we could use a little of that Cat Grant magic right about now."

Kara laughed. "I wish."

Maggie smiled at the sound. "So, you have any idea what you'll do next?" she asked, before taking a bite out of her éclair.

"I'm actually going to see my cousin," Kara said. "He'll be back from Argo next week, and I'm going to Kansas for a visit."

"Sounds like a good idea. Give you a chance to process things."

"You don't think it's just running away?" Kara asked.

"No. I mean, first, it sounds like you've been planning this for a while, so it's not you reacting to what happened. It's you living your life. And second, even if it were running away, that isn't always a bad thing. Sometime you just need a chance to regroup. Get your feet back under you."

"But you said they need to see me out there."

"Yeah, but Kara, you can't be on twenty-four seven three sixty-five. No one can. You just took a hard hit. It's okay to take some time and catch your breath."

"You really think it will be okay?"

"Yeah," Maggie said. "I don't think it will be easy, and I know it won't be quick, fights like this never are, but we'll get there eventually."

"You really believe that?"

"I don't know. Believe is a strong word. But I hope. Sometimes, that's enough."