February 3, 2019

When Maggie stepped out of the elevator on the fourth floor of Hammersmith tower, she didn't know what she was getting herself into. She'd gotten a text from Kara that said "I don't want to be alone right now. Could you come over?" and she's walked out on what may or may not have been a date with a cute blonde CSI named Patty. It felt a little ridiculous, but she was pretty sure that whatever had caused Kara to reach out like that was something big, and given what had happened the week before, she was pretty sure it had something to do with Alex.

She raised her hand to knock but the door swung open and she found Kara standing there cheeks wet with tears and a pleading look in her eyes. Maggie stepped into the apartment closed the door, and pulled Kara into a hug, squeezing as hard as she could. Kara immediately started crying again, and Maggie just stood there, holding her while she cried herself out.

"Come on," Maggie said once Kara stopped shaking. She led her over to the couch, and sat her down, before grabbing both of them a bottle of water out of the fridge. She sat down and handing Kara her bottle.

"Drink that."

Kara nodded and took a few sips from the bottle.

"You want to talk about it, or just sit?"

"Nia wanted to go home for her town's Harvest Festival. When all the flights got cancelled, she thought she wouldn't be able to go. She's got narcolepsy, so she can't drive. I volunteered to take her. It's a little town up north called Parthas. Aliens have been living out in the open there for decades, and no one bats an eyelash. It felt wonderful, being there. Just seeing the aliens moving around so freely. It reminded me of the market near the spaceport in Argo. Astra used to take me."

"Something happened?"

"Nia's mom died," Kara said. "The whole town got together for a memorial ceremony, but the Children of Liberty firebombed the building where they were holding it. They were using this drug that gave them powers. They beat up the dealers to get the drug. One of the dealers had a younger sister, and she came after them. She took the drug. The DEO showed up, and things got bad. During the fighting, one of the aliens grabbed the girl. He thought she was with the Children of Liberty. He was just defending his home, but Alex was going to shoot him. I called out to her to stop, but she didn't, and I… I just reacted. I used my heat vision to heat up her gun so she dropped it.

"She was so angry. She said I'd struck an agent of the United States Military. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen. She said my word wasn't good enough for them anymore. When she told me the kid wasn't one of the Children of Liberty, that she'd taken the drug because she was angry, I asked her why the girl would do that. She started talking about how feeling vulnerable makes you angry, and about how when you feel powerless, you'll do anything to feel strong. I don't her I could understand that, and she said she didn't think I could. That she didn't think I knew what it felt like to feel vulnerable. That people called me the Girl of Steel on the outside, and the in. Then she threatened to arrest me.

"It was awful. It was like she didn't know me at all."

"She didn't," Maggie said. "Kara, she doesn't know you're Supergirl anymore."

"I know," Kara said. "But she worked with Supergirl for years. I don't understand. I thought we would still be friends. I didn't know it would be so different. I didn't think she would hate me. I only became Supergirl for her. To save her. To protect her. After that first fight, after I nearly died, I was going to quit. I was going to hang up the suit. Go back to fetching Cat's coffee. But Alex convinced me the world needed me. She convinced me that I could be Supergirl. None of it was real until she believed in me, and then, when she did, it felt like I could do anything. Having her look at me like that, with hate in her eyes, I don't know if I can do this anymore Maggie."

"You can," Maggie said. She slipped an arm around Kara. "You can do this, Kara. And if Alex, the real Alex, your Alex, was here right now, she would tell you that she believes in you and she is so proud of you for standing up for what's right. But she can't do that right now, so I'll do it for her. You did the right thing, Kara. You protected people who needed protecting."

Kara shifted so she could rest her head on Maggie's shoulder. "I hate this so much," she said. "I just want my sister back."

"I know," Maggie said. "I know."

"I don't want to be alone tonight," Kara said.

"You want me to stay?" Maggie asked.

"Would you mind?"

"No," Maggie said. "I don't mind."

February 4, 2019

Kara woke up slowly, which was unusual for her on a morning when she had to work. The first thing she was aware of what the scent. It was familiar. It smelled a bit like suntan oil, heavy on the coconut, but it wasn't. Shampoo. She smelled a faint whiff of a coconut scented shampoo. Warmth came next, and with it, softness. She was pressed against someone's side, and there was an arm wrapped around her, and her arm around someone. She snuggled closer, smiling at the contact that soothed away the pain at the edge of her awareness. Sound was next. A heartbeat close by, air in and out of lungs. The soft rhythm of sleep. The heartbeat was familiar, comforting. It made her feel safe.

"It's early yet," Maggie said. "Go back to sleep."

"If it's early, why are you awake?" Kara asked without opening her eyes.

"You talk in your sleep," Maggie said.

"What did I say?" Kara asked.

"I don't know," Maggie said. "It wasn't English."

Kara frowned. "What did it sound like?"

"Don't worry about it," Maggie said. "Get some sleep."

"Maggie…"

Maggie sighed. "It sounded like 'so cow za reeves, a woks, cup'. You kept saying it, over and over again."

"/ .sokaozharrives awuhkhes khuhp/?" Kara asked, a knot of dread and shame filling her stomach.

"Yeah," Maggie said. "That's it."

"I'm sorry I woke you up," she said as she pulled away from Maggie. Maggie stopped her, or rather, Kara let herself be stopped, afraid that Maggie would hurt herself if she didn't. She buried her face against Maggie's shoulder to hide her own shame at her weakness.

"Kara?" Maggie asked.

"It's nothing," Kara said.

"It's something," Maggie said. "I knew it was bad, but you stopped when I put my arm around you, and I thought it was okay, but…"

"It means 'please don't leave me'," Kara said, too ashamed of her own weakness to look at Maggie's face. She felt Maggie's arms tighten around her.

"It's okay, Kara."

"I'm supposed to be strong," Kara said.

"You don't have to be strong all the time, Kara. It's okay to need someone. It's okay to not want to be alone."

Kara squeezed Maggie as tightly as she dared.

"Get some sleep," Maggie said. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?" Kara asked.

"Yeah," Maggie said. "Promise."

Maggie stared at the coffee pot in Kara's kitchen as it slowly filled with the overpriced coffee Kara still bought because it was Cat Grant's preferred brand. Something which made a lot more sense now. Maggie couldn't even really judge Kara for hanging on to such a small piece of her relationship with Cat, now that she understood how Kara felt. God knew, Maggie's life was made up of the flotsam and jetsam of her own past relationships. The bonsai trees Etsuko had taught her how to tend, that still made up her destressing ritual after work. The yoga that Deepa had dragged her to week after week until she loved it so much it lasted long after there was nothing left of the relationship but bitterness and recriminations and an iron clad 'don't date baby gays' rule. The vegan ice cream and the guilt from her time with Emily. The alien community Cellanth had introduced her too. The inescapable loneliness Alex had left in her heart.

She and Kara seemed to have that in common.

She'd woken up in the middle of the night to hear Kara whimpering and babbling in a language that had to be Kryptonian. The same words, over and over again, each time she said them more desperate and heart breaking than before. Maggie hadn't even hesitated. She'd just reached over and pulled Kara to her, telling her it would be okay.

It was a lie, of course. Alex had been in her life a year, and Maggie didn't think she'd ever recover. She couldn't imagine what it would be like having that ripped away after a decade and a half. She imagined the pain would be a bit like watching your whole world burn. She really hoped Kara was strong enough to survive that a second time.

"I don't think the coffee is going to talk."

Maggie jumped slightly at the sound of Kara's voice, and looked over to see her, dressed and ready for work.

"What?"

"The coffee. I haven't seen you look at anything that intensely outside of an interrogation room."

"I was just thinking," Maggie said as she opened the cabinet and took down a couple of mugs.

"About anything in particular?"

"Life," Maggie said as she dumped a couple of packets of cocoa into Kara's mug. "The funny ways it leaves it's marks on you."

"What do you mean?" Kara asked.

"You still buy Cat's favorite brand of coffee," Maggie said as she poured said coffee into the mugs. "I still trim bonsai trees and go to yoga." Maggie passed Kara her mug. "And both of us spend our nights hurting, because the person who promised to never leave us did."

Kara picked up her mug and held it out. "Here's to us."

Maggie touched her mug to Kara's. "Here's to us."

Translated from the Kryptonian:

.sokaozharrives awuhkhes khuhp
please don't leave me