Notes: This is the chapter where the story starts swinging away form canon. The differences are only going to get bigger from here on out.

February 14, 2019

"Mags, could you stop being a heartless bitch for five minutes?" Debbie asked.

Maggie glared at the woman who had dragged her to literally the last place on Earth she wanted to be. "I told you I fucking hates Valentine's day. What on Earth made you think dragging me to a Valentine's day party would make me less bitchy?"

"Well, you're in a room filled with hot gay women. I figured maybe getting your pipes cleaned would mellow you the fuck out."

"Right. Because fucking my way through Hub City, Gotham and Coast City really did wonders for my mood," Maggie said. "At least tell me there's beer."

"Yeah," Debbie said. "You sit. I'll fetch us a couple of beers."

Maggie dropped down on the sofa and did her best not to pout. She'd been planning on spending the night pulling an extra shift, so she didn't have to think about how much she hated this particular day, and how once, two years earlier, for one night, she'd actually loved it. The problem was, her Lieutenant had nixed any more overtime for her.

"Why so glum?"

Maggie looked up and saw a woman in a mauve shirt, a choker, and ridiculously large hoop earrings, and Maggie had to fight to keep the scowl off her face.

"Look, um…"

"Becca," the girl said.

"Right, Becca. I'm sure you're great, but I'm not really looking. Just got out of a relationship."

"A year and a half ago," Debbie supplied helpfully as she appeared with two beers.

Maggie glared.

"She just hates Valentine's day because she hates fun."

Maggie bit back the comment that was on the tip of her tongue, because Debbie didn't have any idea why Maggie hated Valentine's day so much, and honestly, it was her own fault for letting Debbie drag her here.

"Yeah, well, next time you get dumped two weeks before your wedding, see how fast you get over it."

"Oh, ouch," Becca said. "Your ex sounds like a real bitch."

Maggie glared up at Becca, and she seemed to get the hint that she'd said exactly the wrong thing, because she took a step back.

"It was nice meeting you," she said before turning and walking away.

"Nice work," Debbie said as she dropped down on the sofa next to Maggie. Maggie grabbed one of the beers and took a long pull.

"Don't go spreading my business around," she said, glaring at Debbie.

"Look, Mags, you need to relax. Something's been bugging you for weeks."

Maggie didn't answer, because Debbie was right. Something was bugging her, which was the only reason she was here. Her lieutenant had told her to go home, and she'd been faced with the prospect of going back to her tiny little apartment, with its bare walls, and empty bed, and she couldn't do it. Not tonight, of all nights. Her first thought was to call Kara, but she knew that was a no go. Up until Alex's disastrous attempt at a date for her and Maggie's first Valentine's together, Alex and Kara had always spent the day together, so hanging out with Kara was a no go, even if she didn't have mixed feelings about the fact that they seemed to keep ending up in bed together.

"Alex?"

Somehow, the name cut through all the other noise in the room. Maggie looked up, and her heart stopped as she saw Becca of the mauve shirt and hoop earrings reach out and put her hand on Alex fucking Danvers' arm.

"What is it?" Debbie asked.

"Whose party did you say this was?" Maggie asked as she watched Alex had her purse to Kara.

"Yvette's," Debbie said. "She works at the National City Pride Center. Runs the trans support group, and the STI screening clinic. She said something about wanting to cheer up her new roommate, Nia."

"Nia Nal?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah. Why? You know her?"

"No," Maggie said as she stood up. Becca was starting to pull Alex in their direction, and if Maggie wanted to get away without being seen, she needed to move quickly. "I've got to go." She shoved her beer into Debbie's free hand and headed for the door, keeping her head down and hoping Alex was too distracted by the desperate lesbian to notice her. She would have made it, too, if it hadn't been for Debbie.

"Hey, Mags, wait the fuck up," Debbie said, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Maggie closed her eyes and winced as she stopped. She could practically feel every eye in the room turn towards her, and sure enough, when she opened her eyes again, Alex was staring right at her, a look of pure shock on her face.

"Maggie?" Alex choked out.

Maggie forced a smile on her face and took a couple of steps towards Alex. "Hey, Danvers," she said, pouring every ounce of swagger she had into it, trying to cover the sickening mixture of anger and want churning in her stomach. "Told you I'd see you around."

"You two know each other?" Becca asked.

Maggie looked at her for a moment, her eyes dropping down to the hand on Alex's arm for a moment, before she looked up at Becca's face. The woman was standing there in that hideous mauve shirt, maroon choker and leather skirt, with earrings the size of basketball hoops handing from her ears, and a bland, generically pretty face. It was all very middle-class soccer mom sexy, and Maggie couldn't help but imagine her yelling at some underpaid kid, demanding to speak to their manager.

It wasn't a charitable thought, but in that moment, all Maggie could see was everything that had driven her and Alex apart. Alex's desire for the sort of white picket fence middle class fantasy life that Maggie had just never wanted or needed. The epitome of respectable gay. Get married, settle down, have kids. Everything was fine and dandy as long as your sexuality was your one point of non-conformity.

"Um…" Alex sputtered, and Maggie looked over at her, and it was like she was seeing Alex for the first time. She could see all the places they had fit together so well. Their drive, their dedication to their job, their desperate need to be loved, their desire to protect the people and things they cared about. But she could also see all the places where they didn't fit. Her need to protect people was born because no one had ever protected her. She'd been cast aside the moment she didn't fit, the moment she was inconvenient. Alex's need to protect was born out of loss and fear. The loss of her father, the fear that she would lose Kara. If that had been all, they might have worked, but it wasn't. As much as Alex's need to protect was born out of loss and fear, it was also born out of expectation. Her mother drumming into her over and over again that she needed to protect Kara.

Maggie looked at Alex and it was as clear as day why they didn't work out. Alex was still trying to live that perfect life, and Maggie had burned down perfect when she was fourteen years old.

"We used to work together," Maggie said.

"Oh," Becca said, and Maggie could see the annoyance on her face. "Are you FBI too?"

Maggie laughed and shook her head. "No. Danvers here was slumming it with us lowly NCPD types."

"Wait, Danvers? As in Alex Danvers?" Debbie asked, and Maggie could hear the anger in Debbie's voice.

She turned towards Debbie. "I may bitch about miss 'Your jurisdiction ends where I say it does' here, but we closed a few cases together. It's all good." She turned back to Alex. "Nice seeing you again. You have a good night."

She started towards the door again, but she'd barely taken a step when Alex called her back.

"Maggie, wait…"

Maggie turned back to Alex. "Come on Danvers. You shouldn't keep a lady waiting. I know I taught you better than that."

Alex looked like she was going to argue, but after a moment, the fight just seemed to go out of her.

"You did," Alex said.

Maggie nodded, and headed towards the door.

February 15, 2019

"Kara?" Maggie asked as she looked through the peephole.

"Yeah," Kara said. "Can I come in?"

Maggie rolled her eyes as she unlocked the door. She swung it open and stepped back. "Hey."

"Hey," Kara said as she stepped inside. She held out a large bright blue shopping bag. "I um… I know Valentine's day isn't really your thing because of what happened with your parents and all but all the chocolate shops at the mall are having a half off sale because it's the day after, and I know you like chocolate because everyone likes chocolate except Cerberonians because they're allergic which is really tragic because they can't ever have chocolate but I thought you know, I could bring you some and you'd enjoy it because it's chocolate and I made sure not to get anything in Valentine's day themed packaging because I knew you would hate it and I hope you like it and you're not mad at me for bringing you chocolate."

Maggie reached out and took the bag from Kara. "Breathe."

"Right. Yes. Breathing is good. Except sometimes when I get like this and I breath I sometimes accidently freeze everything in the room, so breathing might not be a good idea right now."

"Well, if you're going to freeze half the room, can you freeze the half that doesn't have my Bonsai trees? They don't do well in the cold."

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean, I'll just try not to freeze any of the room because that would be bad."

"Kara, calm down, okay."

"Right," Kara said. "Calm. I can do calm. I just… I thought you'd be mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because of what happened last night."

"Oh," Maggie said, not really sure why Kara would think she was mad at her. "Kara, what happened last night wasn't your fault."

"It kind of was. I mean, we were there because I introduced Brainy and Nia, and… I mean, I didn't know you even knew Nia, so I had no way to know you'd be there, but-"

"Kara!" Maggie said.

"What?"

"I don't know Nia. Debbie knows her roommate."

"Your partner Debbie?'

"She's not my partner. She's just another cop in the Science Division. She's the one who dragged me to the party last night. She's new to the Science Division. She transferred in from Gotham."

"Oh. Are you two…?"

"No," Maggie said. "Debbie's married. Her wife Tammy is in the Air Force. I think she's deployed to Afghanistan right now. Debbie… She means well. We were friendly when I was in Gotham. When she transferred here, she heard the story about me getting dumped from some of the other guys in the unit, and she's decided that cheering me up and finding me a new girlfriend is her mission. Normally it's easy enough to just blow it off, but I don't know. I mean, two years ago, I was with Alex, and it was a disaster, but then we fixed it. And last year… I don't remember much. I was in Gotham at the time. I got shitfaced and went home with this detective named Renee. It was awkward and awful and painful and we'd both just been dumped by people we thought were going to be in our lives forever, and I don't know. I thought about coming home last night, and I just… I didn't want to be alone. Which was stupid, because I should be used to it by now, but I just couldn't face it. So I let Debbie drag me to that stupid fucking party."

"I'm sorry," Kara said.

"For what?" Maggie asked. "My shitty luck?"

"That you're hurting. That something I did made it worse. That I don't know how to help you."

"You already did."

"What?"

"Kara, you're here. You're checking on me. You care about me. That counts for a lot. And honestly seeing Alex last night… It made it better."

"What do you mean?" Kara asked.

"I mean, seeing her like that, seeing her with that woman, it made me realize that I was right that night in the bar when she kissed for the first time. Alex and I are in different places. We want different things. I liked her so much and being around her felt so good that I convinced myself that we could work. I convinced myself that loving someone was all it took.

"All this time, even since Alex told me she wanted to call it off, I've been angry with her. I kept thinking that she was throwing away something real for some fantasy. And I realized last night, when I stood there looking at her with some soccer mom want to be hanging off her arm, that I should really be angry at myself for trying to have something I knew would never work."

"No!" Kara said. "Maggie, no. You shouldn't be angry at yourself for trying to be with Alex. What you did was brave. Trying to be happy in a world that seems to want nothing more than to hurt people, that takes courage, and strength. You reached out for a chance at love, at happiness, at family. I never did that. I have let everyone I ever wanted to love walk out of my life because I was afraid to take that chance. Kenny died because I was too afraid to take that chance. I hesitated, and I let my chance with James just slip away. Cat's gone, and she isn't coming back. I tossed Mon-El into space, and when he came back, I let him walk away again. I've never been all in the way you were with Alex. I don't know if I have it in me to reach out like that. You're braver than I am. And I don't want to see you lose that just because you got hurt."

"Kara, I… I don't know what to say to that."

"Just say you won't give up. I know you said that you didn't think you'd ever find anything that would feel like what you had with Alex again, and you're probably right. But that doesn't mean you won't find something just as good, or maybe better. Someone who wants the same things you do. Someone who would love you the way you want to be loved."

"I don't think that person exists. I used to. I wanted that so bad I think I convinced myself that Alex would be that person when I knew that sooner or later the shiny would wear off. I don't think I can take that risk again. You're standing there and calling me brave but I think I'd be too scared to take that chance again."

"Doing something when you're not afraid isn't brave. It's not easy to have hope. You have to work at that. And it is terrifying sometimes because it makes you vulnerable. It means opening yourself up to being hurt. But being brave, reaching for what you want, at least offers the chance to be happy. The alternative is a lifetime of misery and despair."

Maggie smiled and shook her head. "Chocolate and a speech about hope from Supergirl. This is not how I expected my night to go."

"Yeah, but, it's better, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Maggie said. "Yeah, actually it is."

Kara smiled so brightly, it made Maggie's chest hurt.