"What is this place?" Cartman whispered and ducked his head just in time to avoid the splintered plank of wood Kyle almost pulled him into having misjudged his (albeit crouched) size. Cartman had dragged them into the woods without really thinking where they were headed, but Kyle took over their escape after a few feet and steered left towards a dishevelled old hut, with a door still hung by its hinges and lock but broken from knee-height down. Kyle slipped and Cartman squeezed through the gap and came out the other side into a currently vacant hangout. Cartman studied the pile of blankets and torn condom and snack wrappers.

The notorious abandoned ball-shed; where horny students came and… well, came.

"How'd you know where this was?"

"Kenny told me," Kyle explained tactfully. It wasn't exactly a lie. He had told him – right before they'd fucked in it.

Cartman kicked at the trash on the floor. "Looks almost like someone's living here."

"Butters was. Kinda." Kyle slumped against one of the walls and peeked out of the shattered window. If Scott was hunting any of them down then he hadn't thought to check here yet. "He stayed home the first day you got sick but his parents threatened to ground him if he didn't go to school. He tried hiding in your room but your mom got worried and told them. So he started hanging out here during the day and going to yours after school. Kenny caught him one lunchtime when he came here for a quick session of onanism." Cartman moved to beside him and held him tightly. Kyle leant back and kissed him. "Probably how that whole thing started."

"How about we start our own thing right now," Cartman sniggered, working his way down Kyle's neck.

"What if Scott finds us?"

"Then you'll have a Hell of a time explaining why you're pantsless and jerking it in the old ball-shed by yourself." His mouth paused in its travels. "Kyle, there's something kind of fucked up I need to tell you."

Concerned by his serious tone, Kyle wrapped his arms around his neck and gazed lovingly at him for comfort. "I'm listening."

"It's a little complicated but the short version of it is…" He huffed nervously. "I'm a demon."

Kyle broke out into giggles.

"I was being serious!" Cartman whined.

"I know it's just that… Cartman that is the least shocking thing I've ever heard about you."

He whined again, "You could maybe have the decency to pretend to be shocked."

"Why're you telling me this anyway? Does this change anything?"

"Not to me. But I dunno, maybe for you?"

Kyle's answer was a softly earnest kiss to his nose and Cartman decided that was enough of being sappy for one day. He finally had Kyle back and he was going to take advantage of every second starting with sliding his hand down the back of Kyle's pants. He reacted with another kiss, lower and more intense as he laved at Cartman's lips and tongue. Feeling the larger boy's hard dick against his hip quickly changed his mind about being slow and romantic and he turned around and unbuckled his belt. Foreplay could take the bench.

Cartman understood the urgency and tucked his trousers under his balls and reached around to tug at Kyle's dick. Kyle's forehead pressed against the wood of the hut as he groaned softly into his arm. "Gonna need a little spit from you, sweetheart," Cartman advised, holding out his hand. Kyle obliged and was soon keening back into earnest kisses as Cartman plunged in and out, deep and deliberate. Okay, so maybe a little romance wouldn't go totally amiss.

It wasn't long before Cartman shuddered into him and his fingers made dents in the flesh of his thigh. The odd electricity that seemed to accompany his orgasms rippled through Kyle's body once again and his ass clenched tightly around his cock. "You coming?" Cartman whispered.

"Almost," Kyle rasped, thrusting haphazardly into Cartman's strokes. They stilled at the sound outside of boots in snow.

The other demons made no pretences about their anger at Jack's tardiness. He had promised to be no more than an hour at his recruitment, and worse he had returned empty-winged.

"Where's the boy?" they snarled as they gathered around him.

"Relax, everybody." He regarded them with a serene smile and patted the nearest one on the back for reassurance. "He has a little unfinished business he must attend to. Once that's dealt with, he'll come back."

"And what makes you so sure about that?" said one woman.

"Put it this way – he won't have much of a choice."

"You're being vague, Jack," she murmured. "We don't like vague."

"My dear, trust me." Jack conjured up a small portal for them to view his son by. Fortunately for Cartman's dignity they were still at the courts presently. "The clock is ticking for him. And the little moron can't even tell time."

"There's a clock?"

"It's a metaphor," Jack sighed at them. "It's a very clever metaphor. I'm trying to say he's about to be caught unawares and when he is he'll come crying to us."

"When? And why?"

"Soon and…" He pointed at the portal where a young boy was yelling at his son. His real son. "It'll be because of that boy in the green hat."

"That's all you're going to tell us, isn't it?"

"Of course," he laughed. "It's called suspense. Don't deny me my flair for the dramatic."

"I knew he was a queer with a moustache like that," the woman grumbled to another demon.

"I heard that!"

Kyle peered out carefully and saw Scott trudging around in the snow scouting around. He stared at Cartman in a panic. The humiliating thrill of being caught in the act was not something Kyle was into. "Oh Jesus, oh crap, what now dude?

"What now…" mumbled Cartman. With a grin he pulled out and dropped to his knees. "How about I finish you off, sweetness?"

Any kind of protest that had been forming on Kyle's tongue curled up and died as Cartman licked and sucked feverishly at his dick. He stuffed the ear-flap of his hat into his mouth to stifle any of the lewd noises that Scott was sure to hear. At the fierce tugging of his hair Cartman sensed it was Kyle's silent warning and instead of pulling away like he expected, Cartman clamped his mouth around the tip and valiantly swallowed every hot jet. Kyle gazed down at him with shark-black eyes. "I th-thought you couldn't eat anything."

"I can't" he replied with a sweet simple smile and marched out into the snow with a whistle. "Back in a sec', honey-pie."

Kyle watched anxiously from the window as Cartman sauntered over and then charged towards Scott with his head lowered like a bull. Kyle held his face in embarrassment as Scott screamed at the mysterious white stain on his jeans. "Cartman!" Kyle yelped when he came back whistling louder. "What the Hell?! What if he gets that tested and traces it back to me?!"

"And how's he going to explain what happened? You managed to jerk on him from a tree branch or something. Relax, Kahl."

"You're sick," Kyle grouched, but underneath it he was angry at how funny he found the whole thing.

Meanwhile in the seventh layer of Hell, Pip was laughing his arse off.

Once the coast was clear (Scott having stamped off crying furiously in confusion) the pair made their way back to the courts. The others were crowded around Butters who was holding his hand out tentatively.

"What happened?" Kyle asked, looking at it in concern. It was an angry red and swelling up quickly.

"I think he broke it on Scott's big dumb face," Kenny said, agitated and upset by the development. "My poor buttercup."

"Ken-ken…" Butters blushed and held his hand back against his chest for extra protection. "I'm sure it's just bruised."

"Still," said Wendy with her usual authority, "you should go home and get some ice on it. If the pain persists then I insist that you go to a doctor."

Butters curled up unhappily. "Oh cheese and crackers, my parents will kill me if they figure out I got in a fight."

"Just tell them you fisted Kenny too hard," Cartman laughed loudly.

"Shut up, Cartman. You're not helping." Kyle slapped his face when he realised he was looking crazy again. He turned and smiled sheepishly. "Uh, I mean, she's right. My parents shouldn't be home right now. I'll help bandage you up then drive you back to your place. You can borrow my gloves so your parents don't see your hands." Butters seemed reassured by this and got up from his seat. They said their 'laters' to Stan and Wendy and headed off.

Cartman squeezed his fingers tightly in frustration. "But I just got back! We were supposed to fuck all day."

Kyle fished his car keys out of his pocket and subtly dragged Cartman with him to the car. "Are you serious?" Kyle snapped, looking behind to check that Kenny and Butters weren't following him closely enough to overhear. "Butters got hurt defending your shitty reputation."

"Not like I asked him to."

Kyle stared at him. "Unbelievable. Truly unbelieveable."

"But-"

"Find your own way home." He yanked open the car door and helped Butters inside. "I may or may not be talking to you when you get there."

"What did I do?" asked Kenny in bewilderment.

Kyle pulled his hat over his eyes. "Not you, dude. Cartman."

"Kyle, uh… maybe you should pick something up for yourself if you guys do decide to go to the hospital."

"You're not coming with me?" Butters gazed up at Kenny with the biggest doe-eyes in the world.

Kenny kissed him adoringly. "I have to go make something up for your parents. They're expecting you home any time soon, 'member?" Another kiss and then a wink at them as they backed out and headed for Kyle's house. Kenny watched for a while after they were gone from sight before pressing the thin band on his finger to his lips. "Wonder how I'm going to explain this shit," he chuckled, before walking past the abandoned and still pissed Cartman.

Next Chapter:

"I love him, and I'm so happy but…"

There was an agonising pause and Kyle strained to hear his next words. And then wished he hadn't.

"Eric… it should have been you."