*is evil*

*loves it*

Ike got up and opened his bedroom door the moment he heard the frantic rapping outside and cocked his head curiously at his brother's wheezing form. Kyle managed to gasp out, "I need you to set the table. I have to go out for a sec."

Ike pinched his nostrils. "Dude you still haven't showered? For the sake of public health, please do that first. Where are you going anyway?"

"I uh…" He hung his head. "Cartman ran off." He scowled as Ike jumped up to his height with triumphant whoops. "Yeah yeah, okay, you little douche. You were right. He's a ghost. Just take over and make an excuse for me."

"No way, I want to help you look."

"How can you look for something you can't see?"

"Pleeeaaassse!"

"Godammit." Kyle reluctantly led the very small charge out to the car, yelling something about picking up a dessert to deceive his mother, and hoping he wouldn't get the grounding of his life if he didn't turn up for hours. As manipulative as it was, he hoped that if he was caught out then looking at her with Bambi-eyes and saying he was looking for Cartman would earn sympathy. Of course it could also mean an immediate trip to the funny farm. Kyle didn't fancy starring in 'One Jew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'.

Brushing back the small tuft of blond hair from his eyes with one hand, Butters used the other to punch in the code given to him by Kyle on the day of the funeral, and the small safe at the bottom of the closet swung open. He pulled out the large stack of papers, photo albums and notebooks and hummed pensively at their contents. He decided not to dig any deeper into them (it seemed to Cartman as he watched wordlessly) and stuffed it all into a plastic bag. He smiled at the sound of laughter suddenly carrying up the stairs and made his way to the source.

Cartman followed with a sour glower upon his face. Kenny was in his kitchen, enjoying a snack and a flirt with 'Liane'. Cartman almost snarled. "What, my minion and my boyfriend not enough – you got to fuck my mom too?" His fingers curled into fists but he knew how powerless he was. He had to wait until everyone was gone. Then hopefully he could trash his room. Cops would put it down to cruel teenagers – the more open-minded might guess more correctly at his vengeful spirit. Either way it was all he could do to ease the betrayal and the awful niggling knowledge that there would be other Kennys in Kyle's life that he would be forced to turn down out of obligation and guilt. And Cartman being Cartman wouldn't be noble enough to feel bad about it.

"Can't believe I let that a-hole live in my body," he muttered as Kenny snaked his arms around Butters. He has no idea what he's done to me, ignorant little fucker.

Butters pushed Kenny away playfully. "We've got work to do, come on."

"Yes sir," he said cheerfully in spite of the pout he wanted to sport.

"Oh boys, before you go," Mrs. Cartman piped up as she pulled a fresh batch of tarts from the oven. "Did either of you go into Eric's room at the funeral?"

"No ma'am," they replied.

"How odd. I went up and there was a plate of food in there."

Kenny pondered for a moment. "Maybe it was an offering from one of the guests. Probably Bebe."

"What makes you think it was Bebe?"

"Sounds like a witchy thing to do."

"Bebe's not a witch," said Butters.

Kenny shook his finger. "All lesbians are witches. It's like a clause in the Pussy-lovers Handbook for Girls."

"But Bebe's so nice!"

"Witch doesn't necessarily mean bad, Buttercup. C'mon. Let's go outside."

Cartman followed them out to his yard where a barbeque was already set up and smouldering. At least one thing was going his way – he could always count on Butters to do right by him. He watched Kenny stoke the charcoal back to life as Butters picked up some of the papers and began to ball them up.

"What is all that anyway?" asked Kenny.

"Eric's private stuff. Plans, notes, blackmail evidence. He used to say if anything ever happened to him he'd get the safe code to me somehow and I was to get rid of it all. 'Course I think he meant jail rather than…" Butters sniffed.

"Too smoky?"

"Uh-huh." Butters wiped his eyes and stood upwind from the flames.

"Still," said Kenny, "not much of a parting gift when you did so much for him."

"I don't mind. Knowing him was enough."

Kenny held him close. "Yeah. Life's too quiet without him."

"I know what you mean, Ken-ken."

Cartman sat hunched up on the ground and made gagging noises.

"How's your hand?"

"Good, not gonna be able to use it for a while."

"That's okay," Kenny laughed salaciously and purred into his ear. "I can do all the things it normally does for you."

"You're gonna write my homework out for me?"

"Seriously, Honey-bee? That's all you can think of for me to do with my hand?" said Kenny looking down at him with a meaningfully raised eyebrow.

Butters' face reddened as the innuendo sunk in. He decided to change the subject. "I talked to Kyle about you guys."

"Aw Bee, why'd you do that?" Kenny groaned.

"I just wanted to check he was okay about us."

"Is he still pissed?" Kenny asked with a coating of guilt to his words.

"He said he wasn't but you know Kyle; he'll never come out and say something's wrong. He hates looking weak."

"He's almost as stubborn as Cartman was." Kenny's smile fell when Butters flinched in his arms. "Sorry – I keep bringing him up."

"No, I like talking about Eric. Makes me feel like he's here." Butters threw a few more balls of paper onto the barbeque now that there was more space where the others had finally turned to ash. "Actually, there's something I need to confess, Kenny."

"Oh?"

"I uh… had a crush on Eric."

Cartman almost fell over. Fucking seriously? Why does everyone want to sleep with me now I'm dead? He picked himself up and stood a little closer to them, close enough to see the tears shimmering on Butters' lashes before they were soothingly brushed them away.

Kenny cupped his face. "I know, Buttercup."

"You knew? Oh fudgeburgers, was I that obvious?"

"No. I'm really good at reading people."

"I guess, but I wasn't all that subtle neither. Crying all the time."

"Yeah but if you go by that logic then Kyle-" Kenny's eyes widened. "Nah, can't be. That's ridiculous."

Cartman glared at him. Just exactly what was so ridiculous about it he knew but having it actually spelled out for him – by Kenny of all people – was more than he could bear. He wished more than anything Kenny was the one he could communicate with so that he could communicate his fist to his balls.

"Kenny, I have another confession. I kinda got into a panic last night after I proposed. I was scared that we weren't really meant to be. I mean, if Eric hadn't died then we'd never…"

Kenny nodded sagely and looked upward at the stars. "Maybe not but that's life. It's all chance. It sucks to think about the ifs and whats but the important thing is what's happening now." He refilled the barbeque with some more papers. "Trust me when I say life's too short to worry. I know all about it."

"You're not jealous?"

"Maybe a little." Kenny pretended to sulk until Butters tugged at his parka for an apology kiss. "What about you, Bee? Are you jealous of Kyle?"

"Not anymore. I just feel bad because we got so much and he got nothing."

"Yeah," Kenny sighed wrapping himself tightly around his shivering fiancé. "But…" His voice dropped to a trembling whisper. "Apart from you, I'd trade it all to get him back, y'know."

Cartman gazed pensively as the flames licked hungrily around his life's work. What a waste.

Ike held his nose in the car as they took a U-turn out from Butter's house. Kyle hit the dashboard. "I really thought he'd be here." He'd gone to Kenny's first, thinking Cartman would go there for revenge. Though quite what Cartman thought he would do when he got there – Kyle had no idea, but planning ahead had never been his strong point unless it was for a scheme. Kenny wasn't home, so Kyle's next guess was Butters, even though it was a risk. Butters' parents didn't like Kenny. They suspected, they feared, and maybe deep down, they already knew what was going on between them.

Ike wound down the window again even though it was freezing. "What's his beef with Kenny anyway? He liked him enough to give him all his junk."

"I might have… told him about us."

"Oh dude, what?! You don't talk about exes with your new fuck, dumbass! Everyone knows that!"

"I know! I just… I was frustrated. I wanted to hurt him. He was being an ass."

"Newsflash Kyle: it's Cartman. Did you think you were dating Mr. Darcy?"

"I just thought, I dunno, that he'd treat me a little better considering he's supposed to-" Kyle went quiet. Cartman had never said he loved him. But then neither had he; Stan had said it on his behalf. Kyle pulled up in front of the school, nauseous and shaking from fatigue. He hadn't felt right for weeks. He thought it was depression all this time but some other lurking hypothesis was skulking out from its lair at the back of his mind.

"Kyle, you okay?" Ike yelped when Kyle launched himself out of the car, doubled up and dry-heaved into the snow. Ike held his brother's shuddering shoulders and wrinkled his nose at the stench of vomit mixing with sweat. He was really worried now. "I'm calling mom."

Kyle nodded and spat out a chunk of something he didn't remember eating. He knelt, silently listening to Sheila's distressed screeching on the other end of Ike's phone. He raised his head and saw the school doors. There was something familiar about the angle and distance and he wracked his brain for the answer.

"Cartman… L'hitraot… l'hitraot..."

Kyle's vision blurred when the pain in his lower back radiated outward and he curled up in the stained snow exactly where Cartman had lain some weeks before, his little brother's screams growing faint as his own consciousness faded.

Next chapter:

"Kyle, I'm begging you, don't leave me! I can't be here alone, I don't wanna be here alone."