Cassian Salvitto, as it turned out, was an incredibly charming man and it did not take long before Dorian was absolutely smitten with him.
The man was not only charming and handsome, but he was well-spoken, intelligent and had a sense of humour that Dorian could appreciate.
Not that Dorian showed any indication of being smitten as he knew that that would spell disaster, not only for himself, but also Alexius and Livia, not to mention that Cassian would probably be absolutely disgusted with him.
Still, he was unable to look away when Cassian and he worked in the same study, or when Cassian came to watch when Dorian was training.
Dorian couldn't help but wanting to impress, trying his best to show off his talent, his physique, his intellect whenever he could. His reward was Cassian's impressed looks, his honeyed words of praise and a big, bright smile.
It made him feel good.
Good and yet if made him feel so confused.
He had no idea why Cassian's approval meant so much to him, why he subtly sought after the other man's attention, praise and company whenever he could.
He just desperately wanted Cassian to like him. More than like him.
Dorian considered telling Alexius, but he didn't dare to discuss such a thing with a man that had given him so much already.
He also considered writing to Felix, but he didn't want to put words on what he was thinking. If anyone saw the letter... The scandal and embarrassment would be too much.
So Dorian kept it inside the best he could, telling himself that the slowly building friendship between himself and Cassian was enough.
That was before the winter-season came.
Winter wasn't particularly cold in Tevinter, but the cold winds from the south accompanied by the rainy season made it very unpleasant to be outside, especially the further south you were. Being in Asariel and near the coast, the temperature was usually warmer, but the air was more humid which in turn made the nights more chilly, something Dorian noticed already in his first year with Alexius.
It had been two years since he came here and he still wasn't used to it, despite the roaring fire in his Master's study and the fine silken tunic he was wearing.
It was not unusual for Dorian to sit up far into the evening, as the moon stretched towards the highest point on the sky and the stars were twinkling on the dark background: he found he liked the tranquillity of sitting by himself, reading through the old tomes and documents while nipping at a goblet with fine wine or even brandy. It gave him the peace of mind that he required to think and analyze the work he had already done, scanning the parchment for errors, illogical thoughts or just plain mistakes.
"Look at you. The moon is already high on the sky and here you are, working hard like a good student. Honestly, I feel like I am slacking compared to you."
Feeling his cheeks heat up by the familiar voice, Dorian forced up his most charming smile as he glanced up from the parchment, letting his eyes land on the figure moving towards him.
"Well, I am a good, diligent student. While most of what I do is great, it does not hurt to see if the greatness can be perfected even a little bit more."
Cassian chuckled softly as he reached the desk Dorian was working at, leaning against it. "Such a perfectionist."
"That would be me."
"Indeed it is," Cassian replied, the smile playing on his lips aiding in Dorian's stomach making cartwheels inside him.
"Though even the greatest of minds needs to let said great mind rest and you, good Dorian, have more than earned some rest."
"I intend to rest," Dorian said while forcing his eyes away from Cassian. "I just want to look over these papers before I do so. Helps lessen my work-load for the rest of the week, you see."
"Aaaah, a man that thinks ahead," Cassian mused. "I do like that. However..." He reached over and carefully snatched the parchment away from Dorian's fingers.
"I must insist in you taking a break. In fact, I must insist on you coming with me and sharing a most wonderful sight that is currently taking place outside."
Dorian let out a small protest as he tried taking the parchment back, only to pause from Cassian's next words. "... Wonderful sight?"
"Indeed," Cassian said, placing the parchment down onto the desk before reaching over to snuff out the candle with a little bit of ice-magic at the tip of his fingers.
"The weather is perfect of a bit of star-gazing and many of the constellations are unusually bright tonight."
"I did not take you for a sky-gazer, Cassian," Dorian teased while trying to ignore the increased speed in which his heart was suddenly beating.
"There are many things you do not know about me, Dorian," Cassian smirked while pushing himself away from Dorian's desk, then gesturing for Dorian to follow him.
"Perhaps this is the chance for us both to learn something new, hmm?"
Dorian just gave Cassian a nervous smile, glad that the darkness of Alexius' study was mostly concealing his features. "Perhaps."
He tried not to entertain the many thought that were dancing around in his mind as he followed Cassian out of the study, down the hallway and towards the grand stairs that would lead them to the entry-hall.
Soft light came from the gathering-room to the right of the entry-hall, indicating that Alexius and his wife had not yet gone to bed, but the two young men did not need permission to go outside to gaze at the stars.
As they came down the stairs, one of the many of the household's slaves came towards them, head lowered in respect. "Young masters."
"Our cloaks of you please," Cassian said, not even looking at the slave, who merely bowed deeply before scurrying off to fetch the cloaks.
If Cassian had any flaws in Dorian's eyes, it was the man's uncaring treatment of the slaves in the house. Dorian knew that Alexius was controversial in his treatment of his slaves, treating them as close to servants as he could without risking his position in the Magisterium. He was already viewed as somewhat special there and if the other Magisters knew that Alexius all but treated his slaves as Soporaties, he risked loosing more than his position.
Still, Cassian was not unkind to the slaves and Dorian definitely knew people that were worse in their treatment of slaves than him, so he was willing to overlook it. It was the Tevinter norm after all and if anything, Dorian was the strange one for thinking more like Alexius and even as his own father did when it came to the treatment of slaves. In all his time when home, Dorian had never seen his father or mother mistreat them, always making sure they and their families were well-fed and tended to, just like Alexius did.
They didn't speak as the slave came back with another one, a young elven girl that Dorian knew tended mostly to Felix when he was home. Together they helped Dorian and Cassian with their cloaks, fastening the clasps as their throats before the two young men headed towards the door.
"If Master Alexius wonders were we are, we will be at the gazebo," Cassian called out before they headed out into the cold, Tevinter night.
"Yes, master," the girl said quickly, looking after them for a few seconds before closing the door to stop the cold from seeping inside.
Feeling a shiver go through his body, Dorian tugged his cloak more firmly around himself, eyes fixated on the dark, stone-covered pathway that lead to the gazebo.
"Cold, Dorian?"
"It's a bit nippy," Dorian replied. "I am not made for such chilling temperatures."
"Such a delicate desert flower you are," Cassian teased, making Dorian's cheek heat up from embarrassment. Thankfully it was dark and barely visible against his dark complexion.
"Hardly, I am just from further north," he protested instead, giving an indifferent sniff as he looked away from Cassian.
"Now you were here to gaze at the stars, yes? Gaze away, the sky is clear for now."
"I am gazing," Cassian mused, glancing up at the sky before his eyes landed on Dorian, smiling.
"While I know I am as lovely as any star, we did not come here to appreciate my looks," Dorian said when he noticed, feeling himself squirm a little under the rather unexpected look from Cassian.
"What if I told you that star-gazing was merely an excuse for me to get some time with you alone?"
"I'd say you were full of rubbish as the library was perfectly vacant save from me and you."
"And a slave or two lurking outside, and the risk of Master or Mistress Alexius joining us."
"So?" Dorian asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked at Cassian, trying to ignore how fast his heart was suddenly beating in his chest.
"So, as good as Master and Mistress Alexius are, they might object to what I wish to do," Cassian murmured, smiling some as he moved closer to Dorian, their bodies almost touching.
Dorian swallowed hard, trying not to shrink underneath Cassian's intense stare or from how close he was all of a sudden. "And... What is it that you wish to do," he whispered, glancing up at the slightly taller man.
Maker, but the man was handsome. Those intense eyes, the strong shape of his face and jaw, the almost regal shape of his nose.
If Dorian was close to perfection, then Cassian was the very definition of perfection.
"This," Cassian murmured as he brought his hand up to Dorian's chin, his thumb resting just below his lip while his index-finger helped in tilting his head slightly to the side before he leaned in, slowly bringing his lips to cover over Dorian's.
The kiss was soft, sweet, almost tender and Dorian's eyes fluttered close before he got his wits about him, letting out a small, shuttering gasp of air before he broke the kiss.
"What... What are you doing?"
"It's okay," Cassian murmured, letting his hand run up Dorian's cheek, caressing the soft skin. "I know. I am the same as you."
"As me?"
"There is no need to pretend around me, Dorian," Cassian whispered, letting his lips brush gently over Dorian's again, letting his breath mingle with the younger man's.
"I know you have watched me and I have watched you too. Like you, I find beauty in men and you, Dorian, are exceptionally beautiful. More so than I have ever seen."
"I-I..." Dorian started, but he found that he had absolutely nothing he could say as a response. Having Cassian so close made it hard to think and the way he could feel the heat from his lips made him hunger for more, further distracting him from thinking.
The worse part was that Cassian was right. Dorian did watch him, did like him and here he was, saying he found Dorian beautiful and even kissing him.
"Don't speak," Cassian whispered, leaning in to kiss Dorian again, deeply, but briefly. "Just let yourself give in to what you want."
Dorian hesitated for a moment, his mind spinning before he slowly nodded. "Yes..."
Cassian smiled before leaning in to kiss Dorian a third time. Dorian easily surrendered under Cassian's more experienced movements, letting the man dominate the situation and merely letting himself feel.
He could feel a strong, secure arm around his waist as he was tugged flush against Cassian's body while his own arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders, holding onto him as it felt like his knees would give out at any moment.
It was hardly his first kiss, but it was definitely the best he had had and it was all the more enjoyable as this was the first kiss he had received that had been given to him for all the right reasons.
When the kiss broke, Dorian let out a small grunt, his mouth chasing after Cassian's as he wasn't ready for it to end just yet, which made Cassian chuckle.
"I take it that you liked that, Dorian."
"Yes," Dorian whispered, opening his eyes and letting his gaze meet with Cassian's own eyes. "It was nice. Very nice."
"Have you ever kissed like that before?"
Dorian slowly shook his head, licking over his lips, feeling them tingle still. "No. No, I've never had someone kiss me like that before."
"I figured as much," Cassian mused, leaning in to kiss Dorian again, deepening it instantly, but breaking it after just a few seconds, grinning when Dorian let out a small moan of pleasure as they separated.
"You are good with your lips."
Dorian couldn't help the blush, but he still managed to put up a small smirk. "Well, I am told I have a quick mouth and a wicked tongue."
"I bet you do," Cassian smirked before leaning in to occupy Dorian's mouth once more, and this time he wasn't satisfied with just a few seconds.
He dominated the kiss, his tongue sliding into Dorian's own mouth, stroking it over the younger man's own tongue, his teeth, teasing and playing as his arms tightened the grip he had on Dorian.
They remained like that for a while, kissing somewhat noisily under the light of the stars until Dorian was dizzy from the heat, the lack of air, the pleasure and the throbbing he felt in his nether-regions.
"You really liked that," Cassian merely said, looking satisfied as he pressed his thigh against Dorian's groin, making him groan from the pleasure, then laughing as Dorian clamped a hand over his mouth, clearly embarrassed by the noise he had just made.
"Don't," he mused, using his own hand to pry away Dorian's from his mouth. "I like to hear those sounds. They are... Very attractive."
Dorian felt himself flush and he had to look away, the look that Cassian was giving him was simply becoming too intense. He had a feeling that he knew what Cassian wanted and he would be lying if he said he didn't want the very same.
Yet the thought frightened him. Yes, he had done some explorations of his own body, fuelled by hormones, confusion and inspired by the naughty books he had been able to sneak out from either his father's study or, as of late, Alexius' study. The fact that the stories mostly contained a man and a woman, Dorian had no problems picturing two men in his mind as he realised exactly where his attraction lied. In a way, it made it all the more exciting as he brought himself off to those images, even with the shame burning inside him when the cloud had lifted from his mind, his spent cooling on his hand, belly and beddings.
Cassian seemed to see Dorian's hesitation and with another kiss, a more tender one this time, he released Dorian from his arms.
"Perhaps another time," he murmured, his smile kind and warm as Dorian dared himself to look back. "When we are both ready for more."
More... Dorian swallowed some, letting that word simmer in his mind. More... That held a lot of weight to it and Dorian was curious about how much more Cassian had in mind.
Was it just the physical act or was it... More?
"Yes, later," the young teen said instead, putting his mask of confidence back on his face as he smiled back at Cassian.
"When I am not freezing my balls off out here."
Cassian merely laughed before gesturing back towards the house. "Then let us go," he said, letting his hand rest over the small of Dorian's back for a moment before they started walking.
"Before you loose your family jewels."
"Wouldn't be the first jewel I lost, but I know my father cares more for those pearls than any other," Dorian said with a slight grumble, but any dark thoughts that had threatened to spill into his mind were quickly chased away by Cassian's rich laugh.
"Ah, Dorian. You are such a delight. Truly." Then, with a bit more heat to his voice, Cassian leaned in to murmur into Dorian's ear, nearly causing the younger man to stumble over his own steps.
"I look forward to the day when I can see just how skilful that barbed tongue of yours truly is."
"Maybe you will, one of these days," Dorian managed to stammer out, slightly surprised that his voice came out as strong and normal as it did.
"I hope that day comes soon."
They walked together in silence after that, the short way back to Alexius' front door preventing them from flirting further.
In a way, Dorian was relieved, even if he had enjoyed it. He just hadn't expected it and he felt completely unprepared for it. He didn't like that.
He would have to up his game.
They separated after entering the house, just giving each other a smile each as they bid one another good night as the slaves removed their cloaks from their bodies.
As Dorian entered his bedroom, he could feel his heart still pounding slightly in his chest from both excitement and fear.
This was wrong, so very, very wrong and he knew it and yet, the more he thought about it, the more he wanted it.
Cassian was smart, he was talented, funny and handsome, and better yet, he thought Dorian was the same. Yes, Cassian was the student of Alexius' wife, but they weren't doing anything wrong, so to speak.
They hadn't even done anything besides kissing. Maybe nothing more would happen, but Dorian couldn't help but picture all the pretty images in his head from the memories.
Cassian liked him. Liked -him-. They were both men and Cassian had said he was like him. And that he liked him.
Surely it couldn't be that abnormal if someone like Cassian was the same way.
A hundred thoughts spun around in Dorian's head as he tried to make sense of his own line of thoughts.
He knew what he had been told, but he also knew what he was feeling. He had read the books and, whiles few, there -had- been stories, beautiful stories with two men finding one another. Why write about it if it was so wrong?
Sighing hard, Dorian moved over to his bed and let him fall face-first down onto the silken sheets, burying his face in his pillow.
He wondered if this was why every married couple he met was so damn sour; barely giving one another a look of approval and even sneaking out to lay with whores of either gender. He could hardly blame them, if their feelings and thoughts were as confusing as his was.
He wondered if Cassian was as confused as he was.
He certainly didn't look like it; the man had been confidence incarnate down at the gazebo.
Still, for all his confusing thoughts, Dorian couldn't help but smile into his pillow, hugging it a little tighter against him.
He felt good. Really, really good.
Things were really looking up now.
xoxoxox
Author's Note: I am wondering a little about where to take this story. Or rather, I am wondering a little about how far I am to take this story. I have a very first direction and vision on where to take it, but I am a little insecure about where to stop it.
Right now I am considering stopping it at the point where Dorian meets the Inquisitor and let people's own visions and playthroughs take it from there, so to speak. Or are you perhaps interested in seeing my take on Dorian's thoughts and development during DAI, like I did with Kaidan in Sentinel (for those who have read that story)?
Please let me know what you guys think!